Monday, October 2, 2023
In Grief: Still Struggling After The First Year
Sunday, October 1, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, September 24 - September 30, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
As long as we love, we are going to grieve, and as long as we grieve, we are going to need support. Though it was on-trend for half a century, mourning attire has now been out of fashion even longer. Black is the customary color of mourning in the U.S., but wearing all black doesn’t infer what it did. Why Grief Is Ready for Its Renaissance Era « Psychology Today
Monday, September 25, 2023
Using Writing to Help with Grief
We do not write in order to be understood; we write in order to understand. ~ C. Day-Lewis
Sunday, September 24, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, September 17 - September 23, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
People bereaved during the first two waves of the Covid pandemic are three times more likely to have prolonged grief disorder (PGD), which can leave them lonely and in intense emotional pain, research from Cardiff and Bristol universities has revealed. The disorder, also known as complicated grief, can result in persistent longing for the deceased, intense emotional pain including guilt and denial, and trouble engaging with friends and planning for the future, all of which goes on for longer than six months. Prolonged grief disorder more common in Covid lockdown bereaved, study finds « The Guardian
Monday, September 18, 2023
Anticipatory Grief: Coping With A Cancer Diagnosis
Understand there’s no right or wrong way to grieve, including anticipatory grief. It’s like the ocean. It ebbs and it flows. There can be moments of calm. But out of nowhere, it can feel like you’re drowning. ~ Dana Arcuri
A reader writes: I am searching for an online support group for people and/or their loved ones who have been diagnosed with cancer. Three months ago, my husband (54 years old) felt a mass in the left side of his abdomen. Through several different physician referrals it was determined that he had massive splenomegaly. His spleen was removed last month. The pathology report stated he has CLL ~ Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. It is said to be stage 3. This week he will be having a bone marrow aspiration, to determine possible treatment options, if any.Sunday, September 17, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, September 3 - September 16, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
When a loved one dies, “things” are no longer “just things.” In everyday life, the shoes someone leaves in the middle of the room can be an ongoing nuisance. But when the person who wore them dies, those shoes left behind can become sacred. The act of moving them represents a new challenge. Picking them up acknowledges the reality that they will not be left there again. Why You Should Resist Taking Care of "Things" for those Grieving « Nancy Berns
Monday, September 11, 2023
In Grief: Supporting Someone Soon After A Death
Above all, show your love. Show up. Say something. Do something. Be willing to stand beside the gaping hole that has opened in your friend’s life, without flinching or turning away. Be willing to not have any answers. Listen. Be there. Be present. Be a friend. Be love. Love is the thing that lasts. ~ Megan DevineIf this is your first encounter with someone in mourning, you are wise to do some reading about the grief experience, and to let go of some of the harmful myths you may have heard about grief and healing. Don’t assume that the person who seems to be experiencing little pain or sorrow is “doing well” with grief. Take some time to review your own personal experiences of death and grief, recalling who died, what was helpful and not helpful to you, and how you felt about it.
Monday, September 4, 2023
In Grief: How Can I Go On?
Sunday, September 3, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, August 27 - September 2, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
The early, dark days of grief can feel hopeless. Others will hold out the hope of waning pain for you, since that can be hard to imagine. Because we can't change what has happened, hope must focus on the future. Finding Hope in Grief « « Psychology Today
Monday, August 28, 2023
In Grief: Coping with Traumatic Loss
Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it. ~ Kahlil Gibran
A reader writes: For the sixth night in a row I can't sleep. Last Monday a friend of mine was killed in a car accident. Her three children were in the car, the nine and eleven year old were perfectly fine, in fact just scratched. Her four year old was severely injured and helicoptered to another hospital. She died the next day. Mother and child were buried together in one casket. She was a friend from the past, but we had parted ways over the years. She still had a close relationship with my sister and my niece and her eleven year old are close friends. This was not a death I would consider very close to me, although close enough to hurt.Sunday, August 27, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, August 20 - August 26, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
We may be unable to make sense of the grief we feel. The logic of grief remains mysterious because it is as unique as the life stories from which it emerges. In times of grief, cognitive and emotional processes that usually ensure stability may function inadequately. Why Grief-Related Experiences Can Seem Illogical « Psychology Today
Monday, August 21, 2023
Pet Loss: A Run-Away Train of Grief

A reader writes: My beautiful lilac-point Siamese passed away earlier this month. I took her to the emergency clinic where they took blood tests and kept her through the weekend hydrating her. That Monday I transferred her to the Cat Care Clinic where she stayed another day. I was taught how to hydrate her and how to force-feed her. She wasn't even drinking water, though she would go to her water bowl and cry. She was trying to get well, but couldn't.
Sunday, August 20, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, August 13 - August 19, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
Suffering the sudden death of a loved person leaves some survivors stuck in grief. Can they win their lives back – and how? When Grief Doesn't End « Aeon
Nobody chooses to hang on to grief; grief is in charge. Grief can feel like an ongoing connection with the loved one. The goal is to someday remember with more love than pain. Grief Is a Long, Tedious Slog « Psychology Today
Monday, August 14, 2023
Coping with Anxiety and Panic Attacks in Grief
He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears. ~ Michel de Montaigne
A reader writes: I' m trying to deal with accepting the death of my father 6 months ago. I'm having panic attacks and I'm scared that they may start to develop into other fears.
I watched my father take his last breath and was there everyday as he slowly got worse. I want to remember him and not be afraid to think of him as it may provoke another attack.
Sunday, August 13, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, August 6 - August 12, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
Highlighting the dissonance between clinical diagnosis and the human experience of grief, new research sheds light on the controversial inclusion of Prolonged Grief Disorder in DSM-5-TR. Is Grief a Disorder? New Research Challenges the Psychiatrization of Mourning « Mad In America
Monday, August 7, 2023
Finding Joy in Grief?
For we have shared many griefs, but they are translated into pure love and rejoicing when we meet. ~ May Sarton
A reader writes: I am reading a wonderful little book Healing After Loss by Martha Whitmore Hickman and I have a question for you. I have found this book of daily readings to be of great comfort to me. It has helped me survive one day at a time. Like the daily book readings, some days are better than others. I find that some readings are very difficult for me to comprehend. Overall, I can still recommend the book, but it is not perfect!Sunday, August 6, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, July 30 - August 5, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
Loss, especially through unexpected events, can disrupt an individual's worldview. Yet, research has proposed that this disruption can lead to the rebuilding one's understanding of the world. During this process, individuals may discover their own strengths, develop a deeper appreciation for the impact of their relationships and gain new spiritual insights. 3 Lifelines To Hold Onto When Grieving The Loss Of A Loved One « Forbes
Monday, July 31, 2023
Anxiety and Panic Attacks in Grief
Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths. ~ C.H. Spurgeon
Sunday, July 30, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, July 23 - July 29, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
If the results of this study can be replicated and generalized, it seems that we are left with a major public mental health educational challenge. Whether by lack of knowledge or psychological denial, a large swath of the public may be suffering and not resolving grief normally. Recognizing and Reducing Prolonged Grief « Psychiatric Times
Monday, July 24, 2023
Does Hospice Withhold Food and Drink?
Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives. ~ William A. Foster
A reader writes: So… both of my in-laws passed away in different hospice facilities at different times in S. California. They received no food or water of any kind, just getting pain medications, and they passed within a week.Sunday, July 23, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, July 16 - July 22, 2023
People who are grieving can make us feel uncomfortable. We tend to isolate those who are grieving, exacerbating their pain and loneliness. Acknowledging and addressing each other's suffering goes a long way to alleviating it. We need to be less afraid of saying or doing the "wrong thing" when addressing someone's grief. I'm Sorry For Your Loss « Psychology Today
Monday, July 17, 2023
In Grief: Sharing Sadness with A Child
Sunday, July 16, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, July 9 - July 15, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
The bereavement-support organization Judi’s House estimates that more than 450,000 U.S. children will lose a parent to suicide by the time they turn 18. Short sleepaway camps have emerged as a unique way to support children and families grieving these losses. Bereavement Camps Help Kids Affected by Suicide Grieve « TIME
Monday, July 10, 2023
Pet Loss: Regrets Following Dog's Burial
Bones mend. Regret stays with you forever. ~ Patrick Rothfuss
A reader writes: I am writing in hopes that you may be able to provide advice or support that I can give my parents who just had to euthanize their 12-year-old Golden Lab, Barney. He had to be put to sleep because he could not walk anymore. It was a very sad event for the whole family, especially for my mother who was home alone a lot with him. Since he was buried last Sunday, my mother has not been able to let go of the fact that neither the vet nor my mom closed Barney’s eyes before he was buried. I know it sounds silly, but it really has been bothering her. She says she still can't control her emotions. Do you have any advice or comfort I can give her so she can let this go? Does this matter that he was buried with his eyes open?Sunday, July 9, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, July 2 - July 8, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
Public trauma, or vicarious trauma, refers to indirect exposure to a potentially traumatic event. Watching the news, listening to a survivor’s story, or witnessing a tragic event can cause vicarious trauma. When left unaddressed, public trauma can manifest in the psyche, causing PTSD-like symptoms. How to Heal From Public (Vicarious) Trauma « Psychology Today
Monday, July 3, 2023
Grief Support Group: When Is It Time?
Sunday, July 2, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, June 25 - July 1, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
"Am I mentally ill? I've been told I am manic, a spoiled rotten brat and have dependent personality disorder." In Grief: Emotional Immaturity, or PTSD? « Grief Healing
Clinical experience, empirical evidence, and common sense all point to the oft-noted truism in serious illness and loss that was summarized in my friend Jim Kok’s book, now in its third edition, 90% of Helping is Just Showing Up. "Being There" is Invaluable: The Role of Presence After Loss « Grief Perspectives
Monday, June 26, 2023
In Grief: Emotional Immaturity, or PTSD?
A reader writes: I lost my mom two years ago, 43 days later my dad remarried and disinherited me for his "new" son, 6 months later my business and personal partner of 5 years walked out with no notice leaving me several million dollars in debt with construction loans. That same year two of my clients died by suicide and I was called to take care of the property including the clean-up. Four months ago I was raped by an usher in my church. For the first 2 years I worked 16-18 hours a day trying to keep up with the financial debts that were over 10K monthly. The legal financial part was over last month. I survived that on my own. I decided to take this month off just to regroup. The rape didn't even bother me until I stopped. I have no family or friends. I work out of my home. Since I stopped working around the clock, I cannot function. I have never experienced this kind of pain. I do not get dressed, I'm confused, overwhelmed, don't want to leave the house. I spoke with my minister and he told me I had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old.
Sunday, June 25, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, June 18 - June 24 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
"I found it in my 35 mm camera -- an almost complete roll of film. My heart did a few pounds more than normal -- that camera hadn't been used since the last time my husband and I went to Duke, three months before he died." In Grief: Preserving Memories « Grief Healing
Monday, June 19, 2023
In Grief: Preserving Memories
Preserve your memories. They're all that's left you. ~ Paul Simon
A reader writes: My husband died in August of brain cancer. We were blessed to have a few years together after surgery, chemo and radiation, but that time was also plagued by a continual decline in his abilities. I am 45, he was 56 when he died too young. Our dreams are lost. Certainly I know he is whole and not suffering any longer but that doesn't always lessen mine. I am disabled so I have each and every day to deal with my loss. A wise woman told me to throw my books away and look for my answers inside. I don't have answers, but I do have a lot of journal entries and I thought I might share one of them with you:
Sunday, June 18, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, June 11 - June 17 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
Although it happens to everyone, death is not talked about very often. It remains a taboo topic for many people, surrounded by fear and uncertainty. The way death is portrayed in movies or television isn't always accurate, either. As a result, there are many widespread misconceptions about death and people who are dying. Hospice Nurse Shares 6 Common Misconceptions About Death « Today
Monday, June 12, 2023
Voices of Experience: Communications, Dreams, and Synchronicities
In her deeply honest and inspiring memoir, Watching for Dragonflies: A Caregiver’s Transformative Journey, author Suzanne Marriott explores how caregiving for her husband throughout his journey with chronic illness allowed her to gain a spiritual awareness that would ultimately help her through her own medical crisis and into a place of healing and solace.
Sunday, June 11, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, June 4 - June 10, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
The journey of healing can feel overwhelming. But by employing cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, you can find comfort and strength to move forward and take back control of your life. The Resilient Grief Remedy « Psychology Today
Monday, June 5, 2023
In Grief: How Writing Letters Can Help
A reader writes: I'm so sorry for all our losses and the horrible pain we're feeling. I'm a little reluctant to comment because my spouse died two years ago. Yes, I should be "over it" by now as so many have said, but I'm not. I hope my writing this doesn't depress too many others.
Sunday, June 4, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, May 28 - June 3, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
When someone you know and love tells you they have been diagnosed with cancer, it can feel like a scary and shocking surprise. How you respond to them can either make them feel worse, which is not the intention, of course, or it can make them feel comforted and supported. Finding the Right Words: When Someone You Know is Diagnosed with Cancer « Columbia University Irving Medical Center
Monday, May 29, 2023
Grief In The Second Year: "Harder And More Painful Now"
Sometimes the first anniversary of his death is one of peace when we realize that we managed to survive the worst year of our life, but then we wake up to the second year and find a whole other set of challenges to meet. ~ Pat Bertram
A reader writes: How does one deal with the overwhelming grief at 14 months and 9 days? For me it is harder and more painful now. Am I crazy Marty? I have not dreamed of my beloved since he went to Heaven, except a nightmare the night he died, that they lost him in the tunnels in the hospital. I can't feel him, no one will say his name and I am trying desperately to understand this all. Does it mean that since I cannot dream or feel him that I did something wrong? I feel that way. My doctor/therapist told me that the second year may be harder and she was so right, am I the only person that feels this way?
Sunday, May 28, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, May 21 - May 27, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
Children process grief differently from adults. The grief and sacrifice of a child who loses a parent in military combat are ongoing. Children can process the death of a soldier parent, but the realness and permanence may be hard to accept. Memorial Day: A Hidden Audience in Grief « Psychology Today
Monday, May 22, 2023
Supporting Children and Adolescents in Grief
As an adult or child, experiencing grief means to “feel,” not just to “understand.” Anyone old enough to love is old enough to grieve. ~ Alan D. Wolfelt
Sunday, May 21, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, May 14 - May 20, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
Grief can blindside us at otherwise ordinary moments. Grief is an invisible wound because all our pain is internal. Sharing these experiences can help educate others about grief. How Your Pain Helps Teach The World « Psychology Today
Monday, May 15, 2023
In Grief: Feeling Numb, Unable to Cry
Sunday, May 14, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, May 7 - May 13, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
For practical suggestions on how to cope with grief on Mother’s Day ~ or on how to better understand and support a mother, mother figure, daughter, grandmother (or a dad!) in grief ~ you're invited to access one or more of the helpful articles and resources listed here: Coping with Grief on Mother's Day: Selected Resources « Grief Healing
Monday, May 8, 2023
Using Antidepressants to Manage Acute, Normal Grief
A reader writes: About four weeks ago, I came off an antidepressant which allowed the unresolved grief issues over my brother’s death to surface. I believe that the antidepressant kept me from fully grieving his loss, which I am in the process of doing now. A colleague, therapist, and good friend who has known me over the years knows exactly where I am and says perhaps just a small dosage of an antidepressant (not the one that I was on) could be beneficial until resolution and integration is accomplished. I see my M.D. next week to explain what has been going on, and to get a med check (I am also on a thyroid medication). I seem to be doing well and don’t really want to take any more meds. I would appreciate any advice in this respect.
Sunday, May 7, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, April 30 - May 6, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
Texas author Dina Gachman shares her story of healing after losing her mother and sister in her book, So Sorry For Your Loss: How I Learned to Live with Grief, and Other Grave Concerns: Author Interview « Texas Standard
Monday, May 1, 2023
Voices of Experience: Saying Yes to Help (Saying Yes to Everything)
Never say "there are no words" to the grieving. ~ Colin Campbell
Finding the Words: Working Through Profound Loss with Hope and Purpose is a powerful and personal exploration of grief, as a bereft father shares his experience of losing both his children, Ruby and Hart when a drunk driver hit their car, and changed what was a pleasant family outing to the worst day imaginable. Colin Campbell addresses the fear, pain, denial, guilt, rage, despair and isolation that accompanies grief and encourages readers to find community and ritual in the face of loss.
Sunday, April 30, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, April 23 - April 29, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
People in acute grief are especially vulnerable and may be very private or open to interacting with others about the details. Though the expression of sorrow may be sincere, one's personal beliefs may not be shared by the acutely bereaved. Being present and simply expressing sorrow for the person's loss is usually well-received. What Not to Say to Someone Acutely Grieving « Psychology Today
Monday, April 24, 2023
Seeing a Specialist in Grief Counseling: Why It Matters
A reader writes: I’ve been suffering from depression for a long time and am under the care of a psychiatrist. I went to see my doctor for the first time since my father died and was a complete wreck since I had to re-tell what happened. I was crying because it's hard to talk about Dad's sudden downfall and last day, but my psychiatrist seemed to think that I was being overly emotional. I tried to tell him that I'm not upset every day and that I didn't think that my sadness less than five months after Dad's death was abnormal. I did confess to doing some stupid things immediately after he passed and how hard some things have been, but I walked out of his office feeling like I should be over it.
Sunday, April 23, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, April 16 - April 22, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
It is normal both to feel great sadness and relief after your loved one passes away. Your relationship to your loved one can further complicate how you experience and process your grief. 6 Things Caregivers Should Know About Their Grief « Psychology Today
Monday, April 17, 2023
Children, Pet Loss and The Power of Story
The one best place to bury a dog is in the heart of its master. ~ Ben Hur LampmanDeath of a pet may be a young family’s first encounter with significant loss, and one of the questions parents will face is how to explain it to their children. Depending upon their age, personality and level of development at the time, children may have a tough time understanding death and the grief that accompanies significant loss, and parents may be at a loss as to how to explain it to them.
Sunday, April 16, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, April 9 - April 15, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
Disenfranchised Grief describes a loss you don’t feel entitled to, that no one seems to understand, and that isn’t openly acknowledged, mourned or publicly supported. Many situations can lead to this, and it’s incredibly valid. What Is Disenfranchised Grief? Here's What To Know. « Huff Post
Monday, April 10, 2023
In Grief: When A Loved One Is Missing
Not every loss was confirmed by an officer at the door. Nor a telegram with the power to sink a fleet. Loss, often the worst kind, also arrived through the deafening quiet of an absence. ~ Kristina McMorris