Much about growing older involves loss: of physical strength, mental acuity, and social relevance. Learning to view death as a prelude to something larger is a skill we can begin while still alive. As we learn to drop away the extraneous, the essential can shine through more clearly. The Grief of Growing Older « Psychology Today
Sunday, December 31, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, December 17 - December 30, 2023
Monday, December 25, 2023
My Wish for You This Christmas
reaches out
to help another ~
that is Christmas.
Monday, December 18, 2023
In Grief: Struggling With Thoughts of Suicide
Sunday, December 17, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, December 10 - December 16, 2023
Grief is a process that we must engage with in order to heal and ultimately experience joy. Grief can be more severe or prevalent during the holidays; it's important to make space for your grief. Everyone grieves; no one escapes this universal experience of being human. What Anderson Cooper Gets So Right About Grief « P ychology Today
Monday, December 11, 2023
Finding Support in A Grief Group
Exploring the unknown requires tolerating uncertainty. ~ Brian Greene
A reader writes: I am going to go to my first grief group meeting tomorrow afternoon. I have to admit, I have never been to any kind of support group meeting like this before, and I'm feeing pretty uncertain about it. Any thoughts you'd be willing to share with me?
My response: I applaud your decision to participate in a support group. It takes great courage to acknowledge your need for the support of others, and I respect and admire you for taking this important step in your own healing. Remember too that you are not alone in feeling as you do ~ I'm sure you'll meet others in your group who are just as reluctant to be there as you are.
Sunday, December 10, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, December 3 - December 9, 2023
Monday, December 4, 2023
In Grief: Sorting a Loved One's Personal Belongings
Sunday, December 3, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, November 26 - December 2, 2023
After experiencing a loss, the first year can be one of the most challenging times in the grieving process. Whether it’s a holiday, birthday, or anniversary, those firsts without your loved one present can trigger complicated feelings. Though the firsts aren’t easy, there are things you can do to help make them a little more tolerable. Tips on how to cope with grief during year of firsts « Clarksville Now
Monday, November 27, 2023
In Grief: Mourning The Loss of A Dream
Sunday, November 26, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, November 19 - November 25, 2023
Monday, November 20, 2023
Grief After Suicide Loss: Supporting A Friend
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. ~ Helen KellerA reader writes: Six months ago I learned that a dear friend’s husband died by suicide. He was found hanging in their garage. As horrible as that was, I’ve just been told that yesterday their 17-year-old son took his own life too, and in the very same way. We are all in a state of shock. I don’t know what I can do to help her. I don’t even know where to begin. Would you have any suggestions or words of wisdom for me?
Sunday, November 19, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, November 12 - November 18, 2023
Here's why events like a "Ride for Your Life" are so important — and how to keep the spirit going long after World Day of Remembrance is over. ‘World Day of Remembrance’: Connecting Grief to Activism « StreetsBlogUSA
Monday, November 13, 2023
In Grief: A Note of Thanks, and A Message from Mom
A reader writes: Dear Marty, please accept my gratitude for your beautiful heart, and all you selflessly do to lift up and help people experiencing sorrow.
I’ve been visiting your website for over four years now, following the death of my Mom.
During the most sad and bewildering experience I will ever know, you’ve been a guide, providing comfort and heartfelt wisdom that leads me to Mom’s love, my lifelong source of Hope, Meaningfulness, and Purpose.
Sunday, November 12, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, November 5 - November 11, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:
I have lost many loved ones suddenly within the span of just a year—and this new period of my life has felt incredibly strange, confusing and chaotic. I’m used to seeing grief portrayed in movies, TV shows and even video games, but I never quite understood what it felt like to actually grieve. Nothing could have prepared me for the struggles I’ve had to face, especially as an already overwhelmed college student. A year later, though, I’ve decided to give myself the opportunity to finally talk about the realities of grief. If you’re struggling like me, then maybe you can find some comfort in my personal reflections. My journey through grief « The Case Western Reserve Observer
Monday, November 6, 2023
Coping with The Holidays: Suggested Resources, 2023
[Latest update: January 27, 2024]
People think it’s terribly sad to spend Christmas alone, but it’s no sadder, really, than spending any other day alone, is it? ~ Paula Hawkins
Once again the holidays are looming, and grief triggers are everywhere, reminding us of all we have lost. That is why many community agencies offer programs to assist the bereaved, especially at this time of year. Your local hospice, mortuary or healthcare organization will have information about whatever special offerings and services are available to you in your community. In addition, the Internet abounds with all sorts of articles, books and tips that offer creative and practical ways to cope with the holidays.Sunday, November 5, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, October 29 - November 4, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:
Death and grief are not easy to talk about. Talking to children about these can be harder still. Our instinct to protect children from harsh realities means we might avoid these topics altogether. But, as we discovered in our recently published research, bereaved children have lots of questions about death and grief. 'Why did he Leave Me?' 5 things grieving children want to know about the death of a loved one « The Conversation
Monday, October 30, 2023
Children Express Grief Differently from Adults
A child can live with anything as long as he or she is told the truth and is allowed to share with loved ones the natural feelings people have when they are suffering. ~ Eda LeShan
Sunday, October 29, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, October 22 - October 28, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:
After-death communications (ADCs) occur in people of all faiths, as well as agnostics and atheists. ADC experiences often leave a sense of comfort and healing in the wake of grief. Even as religious affiliation is on the decline, ADCs and belief in the afterlife seem to be increasing. After-Death Communication Experiences May Promote Healing « Psychology Today
Monday, October 23, 2023
In Grief: Making Big Decisions After Major Loss
Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful. ~ José N. Harris
Sunday, October 22, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, October 8 - October 21, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, which brings attention to the fact that tens of thousands of families across the country suffer the loss of their baby each year. It also brings awareness to the fact that the grief of these families isn’t widely acknowledged. Recognizing the Unique Grief of Bereaved Parents « Stanford Medicine
Monday, October 16, 2023
When Grief Is Complicated or Prolonged
Monday, October 9, 2023
Coping with Father Loss in Early Childhood
It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. ~ Anne Sexton
Sunday, October 8, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, October 1 - October 7, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
In short, eventually you may well find an accommodation with your grief. I suppose that’s one of the few lessons I’ve learned in those four years. Not a happy accommodation perhaps, but enough of one to get you through the days and weeks and months and, now, years. That said, every so often grief will casually raise its head to remind you that it hasn’t finished with you. That it never will. That it is part of your make-up for the rest of your time on this planet. Every so often, grief will remind you it hasn't finished with you « The Herald
Monday, October 2, 2023
In Grief: Still Struggling After The First Year
Sunday, October 1, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, September 24 - September 30, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
As long as we love, we are going to grieve, and as long as we grieve, we are going to need support. Though it was on-trend for half a century, mourning attire has now been out of fashion even longer. Black is the customary color of mourning in the U.S., but wearing all black doesn’t infer what it did. Why Grief Is Ready for Its Renaissance Era « Psychology Today
Monday, September 25, 2023
Using Writing to Help with Grief
We do not write in order to be understood; we write in order to understand. ~ C. Day-Lewis
Sunday, September 24, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, September 17 - September 23, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
People bereaved during the first two waves of the Covid pandemic are three times more likely to have prolonged grief disorder (PGD), which can leave them lonely and in intense emotional pain, research from Cardiff and Bristol universities has revealed. The disorder, also known as complicated grief, can result in persistent longing for the deceased, intense emotional pain including guilt and denial, and trouble engaging with friends and planning for the future, all of which goes on for longer than six months. Prolonged grief disorder more common in Covid lockdown bereaved, study finds « The Guardian
Monday, September 18, 2023
Anticipatory Grief: Coping With A Cancer Diagnosis
Understand there’s no right or wrong way to grieve, including anticipatory grief. It’s like the ocean. It ebbs and it flows. There can be moments of calm. But out of nowhere, it can feel like you’re drowning. ~ Dana Arcuri
A reader writes: I am searching for an online support group for people and/or their loved ones who have been diagnosed with cancer. Three months ago, my husband (54 years old) felt a mass in the left side of his abdomen. Through several different physician referrals it was determined that he had massive splenomegaly. His spleen was removed last month. The pathology report stated he has CLL ~ Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. It is said to be stage 3. This week he will be having a bone marrow aspiration, to determine possible treatment options, if any.Sunday, September 17, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, September 3 - September 16, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
When a loved one dies, “things” are no longer “just things.” In everyday life, the shoes someone leaves in the middle of the room can be an ongoing nuisance. But when the person who wore them dies, those shoes left behind can become sacred. The act of moving them represents a new challenge. Picking them up acknowledges the reality that they will not be left there again. Why You Should Resist Taking Care of "Things" for those Grieving « Nancy Berns
Monday, September 11, 2023
In Grief: Supporting Someone Soon After A Death
Monday, September 4, 2023
In Grief: How Can I Go On?
Sunday, September 3, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, August 27 - September 2, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
The early, dark days of grief can feel hopeless. Others will hold out the hope of waning pain for you, since that can be hard to imagine. Because we can't change what has happened, hope must focus on the future. Finding Hope in Grief « « Psychology Today
Monday, August 28, 2023
In Grief: Coping with Traumatic Loss
[Reviewed and updated November 11, 2024]
Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it. ~ Kahlil Gibran
A reader writes: For the sixth night in a row I can't sleep. Last Monday a friend of mine was killed in a car accident. Her three children were in the car, the nine and eleven year old were perfectly fine, in fact just scratched. Her four year old was severely injured and helicoptered to another hospital. She died the next day. Mother and child were buried together in one casket. She was a friend from the past, but we had parted ways over the years. She still had a close relationship with my sister and my niece and her eleven year old are close friends. This was not a death I would consider very close to me, although close enough to hurt.Sunday, August 27, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, August 20 - August 26, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
We may be unable to make sense of the grief we feel. The logic of grief remains mysterious because it is as unique as the life stories from which it emerges. In times of grief, cognitive and emotional processes that usually ensure stability may function inadequately. Why Grief-Related Experiences Can Seem Illogical « Psychology Today
Monday, August 21, 2023
Pet Loss: A Run-Away Train of Grief
A reader writes: My beautiful lilac-point Siamese passed away earlier this month. I took her to the emergency clinic where they took blood tests and kept her through the weekend hydrating her. That Monday I transferred her to the Cat Care Clinic where she stayed another day. I was taught how to hydrate her and how to force-feed her. She wasn't even drinking water, though she would go to her water bowl and cry. She was trying to get well, but couldn't.
Sunday, August 20, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, August 13 - August 19, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
Suffering the sudden death of a loved person leaves some survivors stuck in grief. Can they win their lives back – and how? When Grief Doesn't End « Aeon
Nobody chooses to hang on to grief; grief is in charge. Grief can feel like an ongoing connection with the loved one. The goal is to someday remember with more love than pain. Grief Is a Long, Tedious Slog « Psychology Today
Monday, August 14, 2023
Coping with Anxiety and Panic Attacks in Grief
[Reviewed and updated August 13, 2024]
He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears. ~ Michel de Montaigne
A reader writes: I' m trying to deal with accepting the death of my father 6 months ago. I'm having panic attacks and I'm scared that they may start to develop into other fears.
I watched my father take his last breath and was there everyday as he slowly got worse. I want to remember him and not be afraid to think of him as it may provoke another attack.
Sunday, August 13, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, August 6 - August 12, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
Highlighting the dissonance between clinical diagnosis and the human experience of grief, new research sheds light on the controversial inclusion of Prolonged Grief Disorder in DSM-5-TR. Is Grief a Disorder? New Research Challenges the Psychiatrization of Mourning « Mad In America
Monday, August 7, 2023
Finding Joy in Grief?
For we have shared many griefs, but they are translated into pure love and rejoicing when we meet. ~ May Sarton
A reader writes: I am reading a wonderful little book Healing After Loss by Martha Whitmore Hickman and I have a question for you. I have found this book of daily readings to be of great comfort to me. It has helped me survive one day at a time. Like the daily book readings, some days are better than others. I find that some readings are very difficult for me to comprehend. Overall, I can still recommend the book, but it is not perfect!Sunday, August 6, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, July 30 - August 5, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:
Loss, especially through unexpected events, can disrupt an individual's worldview. Yet, research has proposed that this disruption can lead to the rebuilding one's understanding of the world. During this process, individuals may discover their own strengths, develop a deeper appreciation for the impact of their relationships and gain new spiritual insights. 3 Lifelines To Hold Onto When Grieving The Loss Of A Loved One « Forbes
Monday, July 31, 2023
Anxiety and Panic Attacks in Grief
Sunday, July 30, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, July 23 - July 29, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
If the results of this study can be replicated and generalized, it seems that we are left with a major public mental health educational challenge. Whether by lack of knowledge or psychological denial, a large swath of the public may be suffering and not resolving grief normally. Recognizing and Reducing Prolonged Grief « Psychiatric Times
Monday, July 24, 2023
Does Hospice Withhold Food and Drink?
Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives. ~ William A. Foster
A reader writes: So… both of my in-laws passed away in different hospice facilities at different times in S. California. They received no food or water of any kind, just getting pain medications, and they passed within a week.Sunday, July 23, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, July 16 - July 22, 2023
People who are grieving can make us feel uncomfortable. We tend to isolate those who are grieving, exacerbating their pain and loneliness. Acknowledging and addressing each other's suffering goes a long way to alleviating it. We need to be less afraid of saying or doing the "wrong thing" when addressing someone's grief. I'm Sorry For Your Loss « Psychology Today
Monday, July 17, 2023
In Grief: Sharing Sadness with A Child
Sunday, July 16, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, July 9 - July 15, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
The bereavement-support organization Judi’s House estimates that more than 450,000 U.S. children will lose a parent to suicide by the time they turn 18. Short sleepaway camps have emerged as a unique way to support children and families grieving these losses. Bereavement Camps Help Kids Affected by Suicide Grieve « TIME
Monday, July 10, 2023
Pet Loss: Regrets Following Dog's Burial
Bones mend. Regret stays with you forever. ~ Patrick Rothfuss
A reader writes: I am writing in hopes that you may be able to provide advice or support that I can give my parents who just had to euthanize their 12-year-old Golden Lab, Barney. He had to be put to sleep because he could not walk anymore. It was a very sad event for the whole family, especially for my mother who was home alone a lot with him. Since he was buried last Sunday, my mother has not been able to let go of the fact that neither the vet nor my mom closed Barney’s eyes before he was buried. I know it sounds silly, but it really has been bothering her. She says she still can't control her emotions. Do you have any advice or comfort I can give her so she can let this go? Does this matter that he was buried with his eyes open?Sunday, July 9, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, July 2 - July 8, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
Public trauma, or vicarious trauma, refers to indirect exposure to a potentially traumatic event. Watching the news, listening to a survivor’s story, or witnessing a tragic event can cause vicarious trauma. When left unaddressed, public trauma can manifest in the psyche, causing PTSD-like symptoms. How to Heal From Public (Vicarious) Trauma « Psychology Today
Monday, July 3, 2023
Grief Support Group: When Is It Time?
Sunday, July 2, 2023
Understanding and Managing Grief, June 25 - July 1, 2023
Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
"Am I mentally ill? I've been told I am manic, a spoiled rotten brat and have dependent personality disorder." In Grief: Emotional Immaturity, or PTSD? « Grief Healing
Clinical experience, empirical evidence, and common sense all point to the oft-noted truism in serious illness and loss that was summarized in my friend Jim Kok’s book, now in its third edition, 90% of Helping is Just Showing Up. "Being There" is Invaluable: The Role of Presence After Loss « Grief Perspectives