A reader writes: I am married and the mother of three children. I have been told by my doctors that I have a rare and terminal illness. My husband and children love me and need me, and they do not know that I am dying because I cannot tell them.
How can I tell the ones who count on me that I won’t be here for them? How can I tell them that I brought them into the world with love and tears, and now I’m leaving?
My husband and children don’t know. I won’t let them know.
The experience of dying a gradual death is an important, integral part of life. It is an opportunity to write our final chapter, to define the ending of our story. Writing Our Final Chapter More Meaningfully « Barbara Karnes, RN
Sadly, I frequently have families experiencing grief state some variation on the following: “Don’t play music, we might cry.” by Alan Wolfelt Educating Families about the Value of Music « AfterTalk
[T]hat a man might actually feel a profound emotional connection to his unborn child as it lives—or dies—inside someone else’s body is not a truth we’re especially comfortable with.“My body, my choice,” the longtime rallying cry of abortion rights advocates, emphasizes exactly whose body and whose choice it isn’t. In the public imagination, men’s feelings on this topic are of no consequence; some find it inconceivable that they even have feelings at all. The Men Who Lost Their Babies « The FreePress
Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives. ~ William A. Foster
A reader writes: So… both of my in-laws passed away in different hospice facilities at different times in S. California. They received no food or water of any kind, just getting pain medications, and they passed within a week.
Bioethicist Arthur Caplan discusses the tragedy of people dying alone, especially during COVID, and how we should change that. COVID-19: The Sadness of Dying Alone -- What Can We Do? « Medscape
In 2000, end-of-life therapist William Peters was volunteering at the Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco when he had an extraordinary experience as he was reading aloud to a patient: he suddenly felt himself floating in midair, completely out of his body. The patient, who was also aloft, looked at him and smiled. The next moment, Peters felt himself return to his body…but the patient never regained consciousness and died. Perplexed and stunned by what had happened, Peters began searching for other people who’d shared similar experiences.
A reader writes: My father passed away recently and I’m struggling with so much guilt. He had been battling cancer for nearly ten years. It started with prostate cancer and then spread to bones and I’m not sure if to a different area as well. He did radiation, chemo, oral chemo, and other treatments as well.
In 2017, Margo Fowkes started the website Salt Water. The website is chock-full of blogs with topics ranging from loss to caring for yourself after loss. It also offers resources for the bereaved as well for tips for comforting the bereaved. Navigating Grief’s Choppy Waters « Sacramento Magazine
Dr. Jeff Spiess is a hospice physician whose focus is on the care of the terminally ill. He is convinced that if we honestly face our mortality, we will make wiser decisions, die with less distress, and live the remainder of our lives, whether days or decades, more fully and with less anxiety. If our society adopted a similar, more mindful outlook, we would make wiser and more just policy decisions, and debate the issues with a bit less hubris. This is why he wrote his book, Dying with Ease: A Compassionate Guide to Making Wiser End of Life Decisions, and it is the foundational thesis for his blog and future projects. The following excerpt is reprinted with permission of his publisher.
Advance care planning (ACP) is an ongoing conversation that involves shared decision making to clarify and document – through an advance directive – an individual’s wishes, preferences, and goals regarding future medical care. This comprehensive process is critically important to ensuring patients receive the medical care they want in the event they lose the capacity to make their own decisions. 19 Evidence-Based Benefits of Advance Care Planning « Advance Care Planning (ACP) Decisions
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| Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay |
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