Supporting a Grieving Partner While Mourning Your Own Loss

If you want to support others you have to stay upright yourself.  ~ Peter Hoeg

A reader writes: I am at a loss with things right now and I really need some help. My partner's dad is dying and on the advice of his doctor he has been placed in hospice care. My mom passed 4 months ago today and I am still numb from that. I'm still not knowing how to handle my own grief, and now here I am with my partner and his family going thru this themselves. 

In Grief: When Partners Are Mourning Separate Losses

If you want to support others you have to stay upright yourself.  ~ Peter Hoeg

A reader writes: I am at a loss with things right now and I really need some help. My partner's dad is dying and on the advice of his doctor he has been placed in hospice care. My mom passed 4 months ago today and I am still numb from that. I'm still not knowing how to handle my own grief, and now here I am with my partner and his family going thru this themselves.

In Grief: Dreading Mom's Stone-Setting Ceremony

[Reviewed and updated September 2, 2025]

Believe you can and you're halfway there.  ~ Theodore Roosevelt

A reader writes: Today is 9 months to the date and day that my dear mother passed away. I miss her more than words can express, but I know you know exactly what I mean as you can relate it to your loved one that has passed on.

Anyway, it is customery in the Jewish religion to have a "Stonesetting" within the first year after a loved one has passed on. It's a simple ceremony at the gravesite that dedicates the headstone to the loved one who has passed. There are a few passages read and whoever wants to say anything can. When the headstone is placed, which is prior to the ceremony, there is a piece of muslin over the stone and sometime in the ceremony my brothers and I take it off. I am DREADING this!!!

In Grief: Helping My Partner Mourn His Dad When I'm Still Mourning My Mom

A reader writes: I am at a loss with things right now and I really need some help. My partner's dad is dying and on the advice of his doctor he has been placed in hospice care. My mom passed 4 months ago today and I am still numb from that. I'm still not knowing how to handle my own grief, and now here I am with my partner and his family going thru this themselves.

Although they have dealt with passings a few times before, they are really upset. I also know that every passing is different and the feelings are different too. I am at a loss on how to handle this and how to help. I hate to see people hurting and in pain, but I am also in pain and very confused on how to handle it. On where and what to do. I am not in the family, only on the sidelines.  Read on here >>> 

Caregiving & Grief, March 29 - April 4, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

In this op-ed, "Teen Vogue" identity editor Brittney McNamara explains why it's okay to feel anticipatory grief over seemingly small things during the coronavirus crisis. Anticipatory Grief Is Real, and It's OK to Feel it During the Coronavirus Crisis « Teen Vogue

Caregiving and Hospice, August 19 - August 25 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why hospice care should start sooner than later, http://j.mp/2BInwxw « The San Diego Union-Tribune

What to Say to Your Parent When They’re Dying, http://j.mp/2PpNyIR « Medium

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 28 - February 3, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Talking Openly About Suicide, http://j.mp/2rVFVCg « Seleni Institute

I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore: Grief and Loss of Identity, http://j.mp/2GyYXBN « What's Your Grief?

Grief During the Last Stages of His Life, http://j.mp/2Gu1Q6R « Barbara Karnes, RN

In Grief: Brother's Dating Causes Family Conflict

[Reviewed and updated January 11, 2026]

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.  ~ Dorothy Parker

A reader writes: There is so much to this story that I could write a book on this but I will try to make it brief. One day last fall, my husband and I were awakened at 6 in the morning to learn that my husband's younger brother had been murdered by one of his employees. We are all in in several states away. Their father died 10 yrs ago of cancer, and besides their mother there are seven brothers and sisters in this family. This brother was the only one who lived far from home. He was 34 and for 15 years had been living with his girlfriend; together they had a son who is now 2 years old. Needless to say, the shock ,anger, denial and a range of emotions all set in, and no two family members reacted the same. For the past several months, the deceased brother's girlfriend and son have been down here for numerous visits. My husband's younger brother and this girlfriend have shocked all the family by starting a relationship, which has set off a new depression among several of the family members.

Caregiving and Hospice, August 20 - August 26, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How Do We Improve Communication About Palliative Care? http://j.mp/2wdiZNj « SevenPonds Blog

10 Sanity-Saving Long Distance Caregiving Tips, http://j.mp/2wv3vqp « Caring.com

Active vs. Passive: a Key Difference between Mindfulness and Guided Imagery, http://j.mp/2w8HmLU « Health Journeys

Caregiving and Hospice, April 23 - April 29, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Widespread Hype Gives False Hope To Many Cancer Patients, http://bit.ly/2oT4N7R « Kaiser Health News

7 Ways to Manage Caregiver Stress when Their Issues Are Also Your Own, http://bit.ly/2oIUdjq « Health Journeys

Spinning Out of Control: when a family member is terminally ill, http://bit.ly/2q8HyGP « SevenPondsBlog

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Caregiving and Hospice, May 29 - June 4, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Communication and Practice: Re-Imagining the End-Of-Life Experience, http://j.mp/22AIotD « Pallimed

Study: Hope often trumps understanding of a physician's prognosis, http://j.mp/1O6Jlr6 « LA Times

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Caregiving and Hospice, April 3 - April 9, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How a Service Dog Saved My Life, http://j.mp/1q4PwjY « HuffPost Accessibility

In Facing Death: We Are All So Different, http://j.mp/1VteQMq « Grief Watch

21 Communication Tips from Persons Living with Alzheimer's and dementia, http://j.mp/1S0CxGn « Alzheimer's Reading Room

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Caregiving and Hospice, February 7 - February 13, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

In Palliative Care, Comfort Is the Top Priority, http://j.mp/1LlrXI2 « The New York Times

Alzheimer’s and Hospice Approval Denied, http://j.mp/1WgynxX « Hospice Times

Living with cancer: don't call us survivors, http://j.mp/1Q7zO3o « Stan Goldberg, PhD

Caregiving and Hospice, July 12 - July 18, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Error in 'There's Nothing More We Can Do,' http://j.mp/1M5ZFED « The New York Times

Why palliative care is essential for 'A Beautiful Death,' http://j.mp/1CGI4AS « Anne Elizabeth Denny

Caregiving: What Comes Next After 'How Are You Doing?' http://j.mp/1HEWptC «
US News

Caregiving and Hospice, January 11 - January 17, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What a wonderful idea! Introducing One Washcloth, http://j.mp/1BIAYJ5 « OneWashcloth.org

How to Help Seniors with Technology, http://j.mp/1sLb3yD « Caring.com

Choosing life: a story of the value of palliative care, http://j.mp/17TDrp9 « GeriPal

Caregiving and Hospice, October 19 - October 25, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Hospice Helps People LIVE the Best They Can, http://j.mp/1taeHQV « Moments Of Life

Brilliant. An Ebola parody that educates. Watch why it should go viral. http://j.mp/1wqGZJ4 « Kevin MD

How to Talk to Your Kids About Ebola, http://j.mp/1wqtRnh « TIME

Caregiving and Hospice, September 14 - September 20, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Comprehensive, authoritative response to recent hospice media coverage, http://j.mp/1unncFL « National Coalition for Hospice and Palliative Care

Hey Dr. Emanuel: you might not want to die when you're 75! http://j.mp/1mmDD6g « GeriPal

How to Ensure Care for Your Pets, http://j.mp/1DnkCWA « Delaware Hospice

Caregiving and Hospice, April 20 - April 26, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

NPR's This American Life takes a look at hospice and end-of-life care on this week's episode 523: 'Death and Taxes,' http://j.mp/1hykxFC « eHospice

Awesome! The Documents You Need, When You Need Them, http://j.mp/1fbF3NI « Paula Span, The New Old Age, The New York Times

Communicating with Healthcare Professionals? How to Stand Your Ground and Get What You Need, http://j.mp/1nNUMBY « by Dr. Arlene Houldin, The Caregiver Space

Caregiving and Hospice, April 13 - April 19, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

House calls are making a comeback, http://j.mp/1izK2Xp « Milt Freudenheim via The New York Times

Death and doctors who don’t want to talk about it, http://j.mp/1nhaBDS « Best Endings

What to do when the doc won’t refer to hospice, http://j.mp/PfXiEN « Monica Williams-Murphy, MD via It's OK to Die

Caregiving and Hospice, October 28 - November 3, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• How to Reach Out During National Family Caregivers Month, http://bit.ly/SC0oRX @Caring via @VoiceQuilt
  
  
• Patient with difficulty swallowing pills? Check out these tips, http://j.mp/QbRUTa via @MedStarVNA
  
  
• Comfort. Love. Respect. Hospice Month Proclamation, http://j.mp/PLMH4o « National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization
  
  
• "Not eating at the end of life is a normal part of the dying process.We have forgotten that," http://bit.ly/QYWQHT
  
  
• Beautiful! "We don’t die inhaling…" about leaving this life, http://j.mp/Psamp6 by hospice nurse @AmyGetter