In Grief: Dreading Mom's Stone-Setting Ceremony

[Reviewed and updated September 2, 2025]

Believe you can and you're halfway there.  ~ Theodore Roosevelt

A reader writes: Today is 9 months to the date and day that my dear mother passed away. I miss her more than words can express, but I know you know exactly what I mean as you can relate it to your loved one that has passed on.

Anyway, it is customery in the Jewish religion to have a "Stonesetting" within the first year after a loved one has passed on. It's a simple ceremony at the gravesite that dedicates the headstone to the loved one who has passed. There are a few passages read and whoever wants to say anything can. When the headstone is placed, which is prior to the ceremony, there is a piece of muslin over the stone and sometime in the ceremony my brothers and I take it off. I am DREADING this!!!

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 14 - October 20, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Anxiety and Grief After Losing a Loved One, http://j.mp/2Ail3az « NextAvenue

Review: Sorry For Your Loss is a heartfelt glossary of grief,  http://j.mp/2AjfIzO  « The Spinoff

In Her Defense, I Defined My Journey, http://j.mp/2QZBz4G « Grief Watch

In Grief: Family Disagreements Regarding Funerals

[Reviewed and updated October 6, 2018]

I think the funeral, done right, is vital to the healing of broken hearts.  ~ Doug Manning

A reader writes: I recently located your website and wanted to inquire about your experiences. I am sure in your profession you have seen a variety of ways that people deal with grief differently. How often have you come across a family member who disagrees with how the other is handling their grief? Specifically, when there are disagreements whether someone should view a body or attend a funeral?

Facing Another Funeral, Without 'Falling Apart'

[Reviewed and updated September 2, 2025]

All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again. ~ English Nursery Rhyme

A reader writes: My brother passed away from colon cancer 18 months ago. I spent the last two weeks of his life with him. It was a horrible, painful death and I don't think he ever came to grips with it, thinking that he would somehow be OK even in his final days. He didn't want people to fawn over him or feel sorry for him, so I was the only person other than his wife that he asked to be there.