Monday, September 26, 2022

In Grief: Mourning An Elderly Parent

There is something about losing your mother that is permanent and inexpressible- a wound that will never quite heal. ~ Susan Wiggs

A reader writes: Yesterday was the 4th month anniversary of my Mom's death. I still feel that after this time I have not fully grieved over her, or that if I do, I will not emerge from the pit of despair. I have been beset by material problems that have distracted me from grief, problems that are connected with her death. I feel that my mind is fracturing, that I am being hemmed in and trapped by everything, and there will be no end to this suffering. It is a constant companion that seems to not ever want to leave.

Sunday, September 25, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 18 - September 24, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Now I worry that — by perpetuating false ideas about how one should grieve — the new definition of PGD will potentially result in even less social support for bereaved individuals when they really need it. The Hidden Dangers of Pathologizing Grief « Medscape Nurses

Monday, September 19, 2022

Coping with "Moment of Death Guilt" in Grief

Protective parents tend to not die with their children in the room, even if that child is seventy years old.  ~ Barbara Karnes, RN

A reader writes: My mom passed away 28 days ago. She was very sick and I took care of her for the last 10 years - she was living with me. I never left her alone, in fact our family dynamic changed because she was our priority. She was in the hospital for 12 days and everyday I was there for 12 to 13 hours, but could't stay overnight because I have a knee injury and it was necessary to rest my leg to be ready for the next day. On November 30th the doctors told me they couldn't do much for her, just wait to see what happened during the following 24/48 hours.

Sunday, September 18, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 11 - September 17, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

From curling up in a ball to shaking to feeling disconnected grief gets into every fibre of our being. Psychotherapist and grief counsellor Julia Samuel has this self-care advice - including why exercise is so important. What is the best thing to do for grief? « Get The Gloss

Monday, September 12, 2022

Voices of Experience: Beyond Loss in a Pandemic

The time of COVID-19 has been characterized as an ongoing traumatic event that has exacerbated the grief process and made it more complicated.  ~ Linda Donovan  

Having experienced the loss of loved ones both before and during the pandemic, author Linda Donovan has developed compassionate and practical ways to help guide people through these challenging times and beyond. Her book Beyond Loss in a Pandemic: Find Hope and Move Through Grief After Someone Close to You Dies provides a comprehensive road map for healing after loss. Donovan has helped countless people through her volunteer work with hospice, where she provides grief support services. She shares how she was able to overcome her own grief, along with stories about how people can deal with a wide range of difficult, complex situations and yet emerge from loss with resilience and insight.

Sunday, September 11, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 4 - September 10, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A newscast or film clip from September 11 can catch us by surprise, acting as a trigger, and it's as if we're confronted with the event for the first time, all over again. September 11: Coping with Aftershocks « Grief Healing

What causes us to feel such grief over the death of a celebrity or public figure we did not know personally? Queen Elizabeth death: Collective grief a common phenomenon after a public figure dies « Philadelphia Inquirer

Monday, September 5, 2022

Supporting A Parent in Grief

The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

A reader writes - My mom died six months ago after a long battle with COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). Knowing that she had a terminal illness and that she was in the end stages of this disease, our family agreed to take her off life supports. I thought I had this all figured out, her dying. I thought I was prepared for that day. Boy what a shock to myself. This has been the worst thing that I have been through. I miss my mom so much that I feel physically ill. I don't think you ever really get over it, just need to figure out how to live with it. Now I am very worried about my dad. He has shut down. He drinks too much. He sits on the couch watching TV. He says he has no ambition to do anything. He misses her badly and is very lonely. My adult children do not visit him because they don't know how to handle him. So I call everyday and visit, have him over two or three times a week for supper. I don't know how to help him start living again.

Sunday, September 4, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 28 - September 3, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Wherever you might be in your grieving process, support can be found through counseling, which can help you work through grief and heal in a healthier way. Learn more below about the different types of grief, what grief counseling entails and how you might benefit from trying it. Grief Counseling: How It Works, Benefits And More « Forbes Health

Monday, August 29, 2022

In Grief: A Teen Mourns The Death of Her Best Friend

Because children and teens grieve differently than adults, their needs, especially support through the grieving process, are often overlooked. Consequently, children and teens are frequently forgotten, even invalidated, as mourners.  ~ Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS

A reader writes: When I was 12 years old, my best friend in the whole world died, one month before her 12th birthday. She was in the swimming pool playing that game—you know, who can hold their breath the longest—she was under but when she came up she inhaled a lot of water. She stood up and went over to the ladder and she was wheezing. She got up to the ladder and fell backwards, but her cousin caught her.

Sunday, August 28, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 21 - August 27, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief is a funny thing (I know it's not), it manages to boomerang into your system in hysterical ways—especially when you think you've learned to live with it. As a human, you can neither cheat nor escape grief—you can, however, shoulder the loss in many different ways, something I’ve ironically learnt from TV shows and films. 5 Movies & Shows That Showcased Grief In A Hauntingly Beautiful Way « Elle

Monday, August 22, 2022

Pet Loss: A Reader Asks, How Am I Doing?

The thing about grief is that it's a roller coaster -- it's up, it's down. The emotions sometimes take over.  ~ Brent Sexton

A reader writes: It's been a bit over 7 months now since the death of my cat and I'd like to say I'm doing wonderfully, but I'm not. In fact, between the numbness that lasted so long and trying too hard to 'improve', I've had even more of a delayed reaction to the deep grief than I'd first thought! In some ways, I think I did 'better' with the loss of my first cat than with this one, in that I knew very little about coping skills at first and went about it almost in a more natural way. Whereas this time, I tried to apply maybe too many of those coping strategies too soon, resulting in more of an avoidance of the deeper pain than I'd wanted, or that I think was healthy for me. I'm still stuck in that to some degree, but overall, I've been feeling pretty terrible and debilitated....despite still doing things for myself and my future. But I miss my girl more and more each day w/o her and many times still can't even begin to contemplate a world w/o her here.

Sunday, August 21, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 14 - August 20, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grieving is learning as our brains adjust to a profound change. In grief, our brains must rewire to function in a world minus our loved one. By avoiding painful feelings, you do not give your brain the opportunity to learn to manage them. Rewiring the Brain in Grief « Psychology Today 

Monday, August 15, 2022

Coping with Longing in Grief

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.  ~ Thomas Campbell

A reader writes: At the age of 47, I have suddenly lost the most significant person in my whole life. He was my first and only true love. I just cannot go on. I will not harm myself but I know my heart needs to find his. I am empty -- lifeless without him -- I sometimes lay my head down at night and want him to come to me and take me with him. I have not felt his presence and crave it every single second of every single day. I have lost many people close to me including my dad but this pain is unbearable. I don't believe I have ever loved this deeply in my life and I have many loved ones around me. The only comfort I crave is to be in his arms again -- so I ache for something that I will never have.

Sunday, August 14, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 7 - August 13, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

However painful, Michael Cholbi believes grief can be valuable for the person who grieves. Grief has a purpose: the various emotions one feels as bereavement unfolds are our way of attending to the many elements of our relationship with the deceased. Beyond the Pain: A Philosopher's Guide to Grappling with Grief « The Jewish Herald-Voice

Monday, August 8, 2022

In Grief: Dying With A Smile

There is something about losing your mother that is permanent and inexpressable - a wound that will never quite heal.
~ Susan Wiggs

A reader writes: I just lost my mother. I am an only child and my father is gone too, so I feel so alone. I am finding it hard to function, but I am a single mom of three children, so I need to pull myself together. My mother and I were closer than two people could ever possibly be. She gave birth to me after 13 years of trying, and dedicated herself to me 100%. We were together every single day. She helped me with my children ever since they were born, even when I was still married.

Sunday, August 7, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 31 - August 6, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

If you are unsure whether you are experiencing grief or finding it challenging to work through bereavement, grief counseling can offer support and helpful ways to bring meaning to the loss and allow you to move forward through your grief. Grief Counseling: What It Is, and Therapist Finder Resources « Very Well Health

Monday, August 1, 2022

Finding A Friend in Grief

Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief. 
~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

A reader writes: Marty, I just wanted to write and thank you for your Grief Healing Discussion Groups website. It's been 6 months since I lost my horse, Domino. I know you recently heard from my friend, Anita, who lost her dog shortly after I lost Domino last August. Although Anita lives in Canada and I live in the States, we have developed a wonderful friendship via email and telephone calls.

Sunday, July 31, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 24 - July 30, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The language of closure can often create confusion and false hope for those experiencing loss. Individuals who are grieving feel more supported when they are allowed time to learn to live with their loss and not pushed to find closure. Pushing 'closure' after trauma can be harmful to people grieving – here's what you can do instead « The Conversation

Monday, July 25, 2022

In Grief: Surviving The Trauma of Abuse

A good half of the art of living is resilience.  ~ Alain de Botton

A reader writes:  Where to begin? As a child I was sexually abused starting at the age of 4, by my older siblings. I have 4 brothers in all and have been abused by 3 of them. This didn’t last long, but has left a mark on me that I have had to endure all my life. I have or thought I had come to terms with it.

Sunday, July 24, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, July 17 - July 23, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The dying process usually starts well before death actually occurs. Learn how to recognize the signs of approaching death from one month to one day. The End of Life Stages Timeline: What to Expect « VeryWellHealth

Monday, July 18, 2022

In Grief: When Pet Loss Feels Worse Than Person Loss

Nobody can fully understand the meaning of love unless he's owned a dog. A dog can show you more honest affection with a flick of his tail than a man can gather through a lifetime of handshakes.  ~ Gene Hill

A reader writes:  I am totaly amazed with myself. My beloved dog got taken away very suddenly a week ago, hit and run, and I am a basket case over that. I know pets are not human, but does that make the loss any less? I am so sad I can really die. I know people say get over it he's only a dog, but he wasn't only a dog he was litterally my best friend. My grandfather passed away yesterday, and I feel so confused.

Sunday, July 17, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 10 - July 16, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The key to overcoming sorrow and sadness is to remember that you will get past it in time — even though you can’t possibly see how at the present. Overcoming Sorrow « PsychCentral

Monday, July 11, 2022

In Grief: Finding Comfort in Writings

But words are things, and a small drop of ink, falling like dew upon a thought, produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think.  ~ Lord Byron

A reader writes: We are all on a rough journey, a journey with no map and our companion is not by our side as we know it, but if we move ahead forward at whatever pace we so choose and find comfort in some way we have traveled far...I enjoy seeking these poems/writings as they are indeed comforting and they stimulate your thought process allowing you to really see the light so to speak. 

Having a bumpy ride this week, this has helped....grab a tissue...

Sunday, July 10, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, July 3 - July 9, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Swedish researchers found that heart failure patients who had been struck by the grief that comes with losing a loved one faced a 5% to 20% spike in their risk of dying from heart failure over the following four years, a recent study found. Grief associated with increased risk of death among heart failure patients « UPI

Monday, July 4, 2022

In Grief: Death of A Marriage

In every friendship hearts grow and entwine themselves together, so that the two hearts seem to make only one heart with only a common thought. That is why separation is so painful; it is not so much two hearts separating, but one being torn asunder.  ~ Fulton J. Sheen

A reader writes: Two months ago my wife of 5 years came to me out of the blue and asked me for a divorce. To make a long and painful story short, she had been seeing another man and in the time since discovering this I have found out our entire relationship was one lie after another.

Sunday, July 3, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 19 - July 2, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Assumptions about the nature of a person's grief based on the type of relationship they shared with the person who died often lead to disenfranchised grieving. What's in a name? Why you can't judge grief by a title « What's Your Grief? 

"I don’t downplay other people’s losses—each is its own unique pain—but the loss of a spouse is perhaps the most world-altering in the day-to-day. It is vast, encompassing every aspect of one’s life." The Infinite Sorrows of Grieving a Spouse « Psychology Today

Monday, June 27, 2022

When Grief Is Delayed and Unresolved

Every difficulty slurred over will be a ghost to disturb your repose later on.     ~ Rabindranath Tagore

A reader writes: I found your Grief Healing websites via Google and I appreciate the wonderful articles and online support group you offer. I'm a man, 44, and through some wonderful recent life experiences I am just now getting in touch with some very old and very deep sadness. It feels like grief but there's no person I'm grieving over; it's the loss of a normal childhood that I'm feeling deep sadness over. Are there grief support groups on the Internet that help guide people in my situation? Thanks very much.

Monday, June 20, 2022

Voices of Experience: Living After My Son's Suicide

On the afternoon of December 23, 2011, Judi Merriam's eighteen-year-old son, Jenson, took his life ~ an act that blindsided everyone who knew him ~ changing her life and those of her family forever. The suicide of a loved one is devastating for those left behind and brings deep despair and seemingly endless grief. Judi was forced to confront profound feelings of loss and guilt and a future so very different from what she thought it would be. In her honest and soul-searching memoir, Empty Shoes by The Door, Judi reflects with grace and courage on the experience of living life after an unfathomable loss.

Sunday, June 19, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 12 - June 18, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

While it may be a special day for many, Father's Day is a holiday that challenges the endurance of fatherless children, as well as fathers and grandfathers whose children or grandchildren have died. Father's Day: Insights on Coping with Grief « Grief Healing 

For practical suggestions on how to cope with grief and loss on Father’s Day ~ or on how to better understand and support a father in grief ~ I invite you to read one or more of the articles listed here. Coping with Grief on Father's Day: Selected Resources « Grief Healing

Monday, June 13, 2022

Pet Loss: Guilt Follows Adoption Mistake

Failure is the key to success; each mistake teaches us something.  ~ Morihei Ueshiba

A reader writes: Recently my husband and I bought a beautiful, 3-mo. old Shepherd/Rottweiler puppy. We brought her home and named her Jenny. From the first night it became apparent that we had made a mistake. We were not ready for the demands of a new puppy, nor could we agree on whether to keep her inside or outside (I say inside, my husband said out). We just bought our home, remodeled, and redecorated, and I was a nervous wreck at the thought of the puppy ruining the furniture.

Sunday, June 12, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief & Caregiving, June 5 - June 11, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The loss of a baby is an undeniably singular and terrible loss. And for those who haven’t experienced this type of loss, it can be difficult to know what to say or do or how to help. But social support is one of the ways that humans get through grief, and how you respond to your colleague affects their experience of returning to work and overall well-being. Distilled from the experiences of grieving parents, the author offers ways to best support team members who face this devastating loss.How to Support a Colleague Who Just Lost a Baby « Harvard Business Review

Monday, June 6, 2022

In Grief: Failing to Protect My Mother

Kiss of the sun for pardon. Song of the birds for mirth. You’re closer to God’s heart in a garden than any place else on earth. ~ Dorothy Frances Gurney

A reader writes: I have seen your internet site and found it so interesting. I lost my beautiful mother in 2020 having nursed her at home for ten years. She was wheelchair bound and had dementia but we had a wonderful life together. Sadly I spent alot of time during those years protecting her from Social Services and Continuing Healthcare who were always trying to take her away and put her in a home as the care was cheaper in a nursing home than in her own home and I had to have help from other carers. I was her full-time carer and was on the go all day and many nights at times. I loved caring for her but the endless battle with Social Services left me drained and frightened we would be parted. Social Services tried everything they could to break me down but I had my faith and love to keep me going.

Sunday, June 5, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, May 29 - June 4, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The addition of this new disorder is intended to help clinicians and patients recognize what ‘normal grief’ looks like versus ‘a long-term problem’. Opinion: There is now a disorder for ‘prolonged’ grief. But what does ‘normal’ grief look like? « The Globe and Mail 

Our dying and grieving processes have been disrupted during COVID. The Loss of a 'Good' Death « MedPage Today 

Monday, May 30, 2022

In Grief: A Priceless Gift Goes Unacknowledged

Often you think when you're rejected that you are not good enough, But the truth is they weren't ready for all you have to offer.  ~ Melchor Lim

A reader writes: My friend who died of cancer 14 months ago had been estranged from his family of origin the last year of his life. About 6 weeks before he died, they reached out to him, in the hope of reconciliation. Plans were made for a face-to-face meeting on neutral turf. Unfortunately, my friend began to physically deteriorate, and neither the meeting or the reconciliation took place.

Sunday, May 29, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, May 15 - May 28, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Originally designated as a day “to cherish tenderly the memory of our heroic dead,” Memorial Day is held on the last Monday of May each year. The holiday offers us a great opportunity to recognize and honor the sacrifice of these dedicated service members and their families. Making the Most of Memorial Day « Grief Healing

Monday, May 23, 2022

Voices of Experience: A Promise At Passing

The author at age 2 with her grandmother,
sharing the love of literature 
Author J. Ivanel Johnson shares here the inspiration bestowed upon her by her grandmother through many decades ~ and how a death-bed promise she made to her 30 years ago has finally been kept. She explains how keeping promises made to a passing loved one keeps them close, and may help alleviate any guilt felt at the time of their death.

Monday, May 16, 2022

Pet Loss: Questions from A College Student

The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge.  ~ Thomas Berger

A reader writes: I am a college student who attended one of your in-person pet loss support groups, and I was glad to be there to share feelings with other animal lovers. I grieved over the death of my third dog seven years ago, and I still know how sad I was when I lost him. I am writing a research paper on pet loss for one of my classes, and I’m hoping you’d be willing to provide more information on some questions I’d like to ask you.

Sunday, May 15, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 8 - May 14, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

New research identifies key determinants of bereavement intensity. Understanding Grief in the Shadow of COVID-19 « Psychology Today 

If someone you love has died during the novel coronavirus pandemic, you have come to grief in an exceptionally challenging moment in history . . . These and other pandemic-related barriers to the cultural grief rituals we rely on may be making your grief journey especially painful. Ten Freedoms for Using Ceremony During The Pandemic « AfterTalk

Monday, May 9, 2022

In Grief: Is Our Friend Dating Too Soon After His Wife Died?

Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time.  ~ Maya Angelou

A reader writes: I just read your last post on grief, and I'm wondering: What would you say about this situation? A friend of ours was buried 12 days ago and her widowed spouse came over yesterday to tell us that he has a date this Friday evening. My husband has known this man since high school and we've always considered both him and his wife to be good friends. We acted happy for him, but I thought his dating so soon after the death of his wife to be a little unusual. I’m guessing that you’ll say that this is his way of handling his grief by trying to find someone to fill the empty spot…but, 12 days?!

Sunday, May 8, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 24 - May 7, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Like so many institutions and rituals, the funeral business has undergone extraordinary change during the pandemic . . .The lifting of restrictions is allowing more people to attend funerals in person. With restrictions easing, families begin to turn grief into mourning « London Free Press 

Monday, May 2, 2022

Coping with Grief on Mother’s Day: Selected Resources

If I had a single flower for every time I think of you, I could walk forever in my garden.  ~ Claudia Adrienne Grandi

This coming Sunday is Mother’s Day, a day set aside for honoring one’s own mother and for celebrating motherhood. But for those who are mourning the loss of a mother or grandmother, or for mothers who are mourning the loss of a child or grandchild, this can be instead a most difficult day to endure.

If you find yourself or someone you love in these circumstances, know that you are not alone.

For practical suggestions on how to cope with grief on Mother’s Day ~ or on how to better understand and support a mother, daughter, grandmother (or a dad!) in grief ~ you're invited to access one or more of the helpful articles and resources listed here:

Monday, April 25, 2022

Pet Loss: Seeking Support From A Group

A reader writes: Based on your experience facilitating a Pet Loss Support Group, I'm hoping can you answer some questions for an article I am writing. For instance, how important is it for people who have lost a pet to seek help from a support group? What are some of the more common reasons they have for going to a pet loss support group? And how do they usually feel by the time they get to the support group?

Sunday, April 24, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 17 - April 23, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Bioethicist Arthur Caplan discusses the tragedy of people dying alone, especially during COVID, and how we should change that. COVID-19: The Sadness of Dying Alone -- What Can We Do? « Medscape

Monday, April 18, 2022

Voices of Experience: Feeling Fate

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in our philosophy.  ~ Hamlet, The Tragedy of Hamlet (First Folio), Act 1, Scene 5

My own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.  ~ J.B.S. Haldane, scientist

From nearly the start of her fairy-tale romance, Joni Sensel knew she would lose the man whose love changed her life. A dark premonition had warned her. Though she kept this secret in their short time together, upon his death she’s compelled to share it in a letter addressed to his spirit. By sharing the story of her premonition, Joni hopes to encourage others to reflect on their own numinous experiences, and to share them without shame or hesitation. The following excerpt comes from her book, Feeling Fate: A Memoir of Love, Intuition, and Spirit, and is reprinted here with her publisher’s permission.

Sunday, April 17, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 10 - April 16, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

“Grief is neither a problem to be solved nor a problem to be overcome. It is a sacred expression of love – a sacred sorrow.”  Grief: Neither a problem to solve nor a problem to overcome « People's Defender 

Alan D. Wolfelt: My Position on the New “Prolonged Grief Disorder” Diagnostic Category in the DSM Grief Is Not a Disorder « Center for Loss & Life Transition

Monday, April 11, 2022

In Grief: Feeling Guilty for Feeling Bad

Don’t compare yourself to others. That’s a battle you can never win. ~ Michelle Parsons

As news about the atrocities in Ukraine continues to flood the airwaves, our hearts go out to the victims, survivors, refugees and others witnessing these horrific events, as well as to the people fighting for their homeland and struggling to survive in that war-torn country. As a nation we express our collective condolences, offer our heartfelt prayers, and work to contribute whatever we can to support them in their cause.

For those of us already struggling with grief, however, such catastrophic events unfortunately can give rise to feeling guilty for feeling bad. Our own individual loss may seem insignificant by comparison, as if we don’t have a legitimate right to mourn.

Sunday, April 10, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, April 3 - April 9, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Many families may feel overwhelmed and bombarded with support in the first couple weeks after a death. In the months to follow, they may feel abandoned and forgotten by their community even though their grief is still very fresh. Exton-Based Nonprofit Offers Tips on How to Support a Grieving Family « Vista.Today

Monday, April 4, 2022

In Grief: Is Anger One of The Stages?

But if she let go of her anger, all that would remain was grief and pain. Anger was easier. Anger could be focused outward. Grief corroded from within.  ~ Robin Hobb

Although anger is commonly identified as one of the so-called Stages of Grief, we now recognize that grief does not occur in easily defined stages, and anger is not always a part of everyone’s experience. Better to think of anger as a state (the circumstances or condition in which you may find yourself at any given time) rather than a stage (one of several sequential phases you may be in, as you work your way toward an end).

Sunday, April 3, 2022

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 27 - April 2, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

You can't avoid sadness in grief, nor should you try. Allowing yourself to feel and honor your sadness is a way of loving the person you lost. The Nonnegotiable Sadness of Grief « Psychology Today 

If grief is the corollary to love, if grief is love, why set expectations on its pace or texture? Why pathologize love? Opinion: Grief Is Love, Not A Mental Disorder « The Washington Post

Monday, March 28, 2022

In Grief: Confronting One's Own Mortality

Death is a debt to nature due / Which I have paid, and so must you.  ~ Thomas Pynchon

A reader writes: I'm struggling to convince myself that what I'm going through is normal. My Grandma passed away at the end of November. Basically, I walked in to her palliative care room without being told she had already passed away (I expected to see her to say goodbye, tell her I loved her...) The shock of seeing her without being warned or prepared (the nurses said later they 'hoped to catch us' before we went into the room) and my sadness at the loss has had a really big effect on me. In retrospect I'm not sure I would have even gone into the room had I been given the choice. I've never seen a deceased person before - let alone a beloved relative. I've also never experienced the loss of someone close before. I have a really small family.