Mystical, Sensory or Extraordinary Encounters in Grief

Whether or not hauntings are physical realities is irrelevant to the grief process. Anything that comforts or guides you in your grief work is naturally valuable. To spend time questioning the experience is to miss the point ~ and perhaps the gift. ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Of all the various ways that grief can express itself, perhaps one of the most unsettling is to experience the presence of a lost loved one ~ days, weeks or months after the death has occurred. When one so dear to you is gone, it can be very hard to accept that the person is really dead.

You may find yourself thinking and dreaming about your loved one much of the time, and it may seem that everything around you is a reminder of the person you have lost. Once in a while you may temporarily forget that your loved one is gone, and you’ll look and listen for him or her ~ and maybe even think that you’ve seen, heard, smelled or touched the person. Part of you believes your loved one is there, yet the other part of you knows that’s not the case.

In Grief: The Gift of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.  ~ Corrie Ten Boom

A reader writes: I lost my mom six weeks ago. We had a distant and strange relationship my entire life as she favored my brother and made no qualms about showing it financially and otherwise. During my childhood there was much conflict in the house and she didn't protect me from it and wasn't remorseful. Dad had 7 heart attacks during my teen years and died when I was 19 (I'm 53 now). Our home revolved around chronic illness and tension and anger. I resented mom during my 20's and 30's for not protecting me from my father and brother and also had trouble with her obvious favoritism toward my brother which she expressed financially. I moved away many years ago and tried to create a more functional environment for myself and learn about love and support in other types of circles.

Voices of Experience: Slipping Away

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.  ~ Ann Landers

Silver Butterfly Wings is a story of transformation, of the many paths and decisions Wendy Willow faced while going through the process of grief. The death of her husband left her utterly shattered, unable to imagine a life without him. Then signs from the other side appeared, filling her with hope: flickering lights, hawks flying overhead, their song on the radio, a butterfly’s silvery wings, a hot spot on his side of the bed. At first she was sceptical. How could her dearly departed be sending signs and messages from across the veil?

In Grief: Will I See Her In My Dreams?

Desire is indeed powerful. It engenders belief. ~ Marcel Proust

A reader writes: I know this is probably foolish to ask, but then again the way I have been over the last 2 months anything can be seen as foolish. I have been told by others that have suffered a loss to expect to see my loved one within a few months after death........ I wait, and I wait, and I'm still waiting... I want so much to tell her one more time that I love her ...as I sit in the dark I look and listen for her.

In Grief: The Power of Forgiveness

Find the latest version of this post here:

In Grief: The Gift of Forgiveness

A reader writes: I lost my mom six weeks ago. We had a distant and strange relationship my entire life as she favored my brother and made no qualms about showing it financially and otherwise. During my childhood there was much conflict in the house and she didn't protect me from it and wasn't remorseful. Dad had 7 heart attacks during my teen years and died when I was 19 (I'm 53 now). Our home revolved around chronic illness and tension and anger. I resented mom during my 20's and 30's for not protecting me from my father and brother and also had trouble with her obvious favoritism toward my brother which she expressed financially. I moved away many years ago and tried to create a more functional environment for myself and learn about love and support in other types of circles.

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 4 - February 10, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief Rituals Can Help on Valentine's Day, http://j.mp/2rPSqiJ « Grief Healing

Grieving well takes a village, or at least a team, http://j.mp/2EaZdsR « The Grief Toolbox

Grief advice for a complacent millenial, http://j.mp/2Ebps2p « Widower's Grief

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 22 - September 28, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

ONLINE GRIEF FORUMS: AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT http://j.mp/1dPnNsj « Grief Healing Blog

When Does Grief End? http://j.mp/16GsAWU « Fredda Wasserman, Huffington Post

Favorite articles from this week featuring Grief Healing, Huffington Post and The Atlantic, http://wp.me/p2KrvU-1ln « What's Your Grief?

"Am I Going Mad?" ~ Mystical Experiences in Grief

Find the latest version of this post here: 
Mystical, Sensory or Extraordinary Encounters in Grief 

Of all the various ways that grief can express itself, perhaps one of the most unsettling is to experience the presence of a lost loved one ~ days, weeks or months after the death has occurred. When one so dear to you is gone, it can be very hard to accept that the person is really dead.

You may find yourself thinking and dreaming about your loved one much of the time, and it may seem that everything around you is a reminder of the person you have lost. Once in a while you may temporarily forget that your loved one is gone, and you’ll look and listen for him or her ~ and maybe even think that you’ve seen, heard, smelled or touched the person. Part of you believes your loved one is there, yet the other part of you knows that’s not the case.

Voices of Experience: The Porcelain Starfish

At last, Deborah had finally found the love of her life, her best friend, her soul mate. Years later, when Larry fell ill and died, she thought she had lost him forever ~ until he found a way to let her know that he wasn't really gone. This is her story.

I love to collect anything blue and white. As a young woman, my grandmother gave me an antique blue and white hand painted vase. Over the years, she passed on to me blue and white tea pots, china, candle holders and more. I cherished each piece and had them displayed throughout my home. My blue and white collection had begun.

After a difficult time in my life, my sons and I had to relocate to another city. It wasn't an easy adjustment for me. I felt lost. I found myself having to start a new life; but I missed my home and being near family. 

Understanding and Managing Grief, Sept 4 - Sept 11

From Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Women's Memoirs list of online memoir-writing classes, http://bit.ly/dgPKvB via @patmcnees

• "From tragedy come inspiration & love" Wonderful 9/11 story; must read http://bit.ly/aaguu1 via @Joannefunch

• Remembering the heroes of 9/11, http://bit.ly/dxKaBx via @americanwp

• Beautiful inspiring piece by a grieving dad, 9/11-A Day of Change, http://bit.ly/aCS8Fb via @GrievingDads 

• Magical thinking is normal in grief: Patrick Swayze's Wife Still Texts Dead Actor, http://ow.ly/18WPFV via @CressFuneral @GriefHelp 

• How much truth can children handle? http://cot.ag/c2K65B via @ewagele

• Four truths I've learned about grief, http://bit.ly/cavGs3 (Great article from Tyra Damm, via @KSBuckley) 

• Grief After Suicide: A Personal and Professional Perspective, http://bit.ly/c1uF33 by @BethSPatterson

• To lose a spouse is to lose a keeper of memories | Open to Hope Foundation, http://bit.ly/9xCGFH 

• If you know a man grieving the loss of a child, please share this beautiful site, http://bit.ly/aW2JAF via @Joannefunch

• "Be Patient" - Truisms About Grief, http://wp.me/pVxlX-2J via @GrievingDads

• The Magic of the Worry Dolls: Finding ways not to sweat the small stuff, http://bit.ly/aeds6z (Helping a grieving child, by @DoyleDiana )

• Lovely post about grief, In Life’s Dark Moments, Candy Brought Solace, http://nyti.ms/dv106U via @realdelia

• Mystical Experiences in Grief, http://bit.ly/d4XEic via @Why_We_Do_That 

• About the MISS conference, by Kara Jones, http://bit.ly/bnb74n via @MISS_Foundation

• Powerful - Now We Are Alone: Living On Without Our Sons | NPR http://n.pr/cvdMfs

• A Memory Game for Grieving Children | Open to Hope Foundation http://bit.ly/aT8UBq

• What to do with your wedding ring? See Widow's Voice: Ours to Mine http://bit.ly/b78AuE via @thegrieflady

• Awesome blog from Rachel, widow who attended American Widow Project's get-away last weekend http://bit.ly/aAJlTO via @americanwp

• Explore this widowed author's great new Web site: http://bit.ly/9Hp5QX via @HylaMolander 

Selected Tweets, March 28 - April 3

From Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week,

On Understanding, Managing Grief:

• Beth Patterson: The Pain of Unaccepted Grief  http://bit.ly/cj45Qq
    
• Opinion: Culture of Isolation Leaves Grievers at a Loss - ParentDish http://bit.ly/afZFQ5
  
  
• Kelly Buckley: Looking at Grief from a Different Perspective http://bit.ly/cbgr4O
  
  
• @LegacyConnect: Elizabeth Harper Neeld: Mysterious Happenings Common after the Death of a Loved One http://bit.ly/bgnacx

On Care Giving and Hospice:

• @mission_hospice: Stan Goldberg: Top 10 Insults For 'Old Folks' #hospice http://bit.ly/cEO0HC
  
  
• @NHPCO_news: Preview Brochure for Conference on Developing the Care Continuum 08/10 in Boston http://tinyurl.com/yfoj8v5
  
  
• LGBT Community Faces Additional Challenges @ End of Life http://bit.ly/bxyCff
   
• Studies Show Most Want Comfort Care at End of Life: Newsweek.com http://bit.ly/c2Gdbd

On Pet Loss:

• DoveLewis Program Gives Bereaved Animal Lovers a Place to Grieve & to Grow http://bit.ly/9oK3ij
  
  
• @HospiceTweets: Big Bend Hospice Offers Pet Loss Support http://tinyurl.com/yd5jaz5