In Grief: Family Resists Widow's Readiness to Move Forward

[Reviewed and updated November 13, 2022]

If [one's] character is to be abused, say what you will, there's nobody like a relative to do the business.  ~ William Makepeace Thackeray

A reader writes: I am looking for advice. Almost six years ago my husband of ten years and the father of my children died. The kids were ages 5 and 3 at the time, and now they are 11 and 9. Neither child has any physical memory of their father and almost all of their memories are based on my recollections. I re-partnered three years ago and we began living together in December last year.      
          My extended family members have all found it difficult to accept my new partner. As a result we have little or no contact, which is fine with me. I had always found my relationship with my family members very strained and had little to do with them during our marriage, so letting them go in the end was for me a relief.

          I don't want to end our relationship altogether, but I find it all too much to be reminded continually of my dead husband’s lively personality, along with my parents' insistence on putting him on a pedestal.

Caregiving and Hospice, January 18 - January 24, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

No surprise here! Therapy Dogs Help Cancer Patients Cope With Tough Treatments, http://j.mp/1BRFhDb « HealthDay

New tool helps families dealing with Alzheimer's, http://j.mp/1CZCGUS « Market Watch

Yes! 'A business model is not a healthcare model,' http://j.mp/1GklW0o « GeriPal

Your feedback is welcome ~ please leave a comment!

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Understanding and Managing Grief, January 18 - January 24, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Brilliant! Denial and Disbelief in Grieving, http://j.mp/1ycXQKE « Open to Hope

We Are All Made of Stars: Katherine Thome on Giving Birth in Grief, http://j.mp/1xOYRd1 « Mutha Magazine

What Losing Your Mother Feels Like, http://j.mp/1xOAP1Q « Huff Post Women

Coping with Pet Loss, January 18 - January 24, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

102-Year-Old Woman Falls In Love With A Shelter Cat, http://j.mp/1ur6bds « Huff Post Love Matters

On a Couch With a Dog: Lessons, Love, and Loss, http://j.mp/1EDGhJF « Huff Post College

On Losing a Dog, http://j.mp/1yNcJZE « Huff Post Green

Voices of Experience: When Narrative Heals

Our future is not ensured through the transmission of our DNA, but through the transmission of our stories.  ~ Carl Hammerschlag, MD

Katherine Thome is a freelance writer in Northern California, currently at work on a memoir about discovering her father. Here she describes the costs of hidden grief, and the benefits of sharing her story. She blogs at I Remember That Night. 

The words to the R.E.M. song, “Everybody Hurts” come through my radio as I drive up the 880 freeway. I remember the music video from back in the days when MTV was still Music Television. People sit in cars as their interior monologues roll inside their heads. Until they walk away from their cars, the story exists only in their own mind, an alien kernel burning inside them. Unspoken words have enormous power.

Caregiving and Hospice, January 11 - January 17, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What a wonderful idea! Introducing One Washcloth, http://j.mp/1BIAYJ5 « OneWashcloth.org

How to Help Seniors with Technology, http://j.mp/1sLb3yD « Caring.com

Choosing life: a story of the value of palliative care, http://j.mp/17TDrp9 « GeriPal

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 11 - January 17, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Cancer Loss: When Everything, Including Sympathy, Hurts, http://j.mp/1BkdSd2 « Inquisitr

Grief In The Classroom: 'Saying Nothing Says A Lot,' http://j.mp/1AsuR7y « NPR Ed

Important! Grief After Abortion, http://j.mp/1zo5c4A « What's Your Grief?

Coping with Pet Loss, January 11 - January 17, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Enid Traisman, Pet Loss Counselor, http://j.mp/1yw7aOZ « About Face Magazine

What is Hospice Care for Pets? http://j.mp/1C6jrdN « The Grey Muzzle Organization

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here. 

Surviving Spousal Loss: Financial Concerns in Widowhood, Part 2

[Reviewed and updated July 21, 2024]

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.  ~ Benjamin Franklin

In an earlier post a recently widowed woman described her difficulty in deciding how best to take the benefits from her husband's life insurance policy. For surviving spouses with other financial concerns, I’d like to offer some additional information.

Caregiving and Hospice, January 4 - January 10, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Using validation to prevent crazy making in caregivers, http://j.mp/1yN61Ud « Pallimed

Caregiver's Guide to Palliative Care, http://j.mp/14cFF0j « WebMD

Other ways to be present with the dying, http://j.mp/1w5pdFO « Martha Jo Atkins, PhD

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 4 - January 10, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Updated today: Professional Certification Programs in Grief and Bereavement, http://j.mp/zbmbtz « Grief Healing Blog

Behind the Veil, http://j.mp/1AAZBFM « Alive in Memory

A Ceremony for Cremation, http://j.mp/1tQCamV « A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die

Coping with Pet Loss, January 4 - January 10, 2015

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Vet devotes career to traveling hospice care, letting beloved pets die at home, http://j.mp/1BEIX9Y « Michigan Live

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here. 

Surviving Spousal Loss: Financial Concerns in Widowhood, Part 1

Source

[Reviewed and updated July 22, 2024]

You don’t buy life insurance because you are going to die, but because those you love are going to live.  ~ Anonymous 

A reader writes: I lost my husband and soul mate two months ago. I am attending group support meetings weekly, seeing a psychologist weekly, and following up with my primary care doctor monthly. I mainly feel like I don't know what I'm doing most of the time but the people around me are telling me that I am doing things in a positive way. I'm returning back to work slowly as I work in the medical field and I feel that I need to have good, clear judgment and be able to concentrate in order to perform my job effectively.
          In the weeks since my husband’s funeral I’ve had dozens of forms to fill out, certificates to send away, accounts to close and all the rest of the paperwork that needs to be attended to, but I have been blindsided by one question in particular. 

Caregiving and Hospice, December 28 - January 3, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What are my options? Interactive tool to guide healthcare choices, http://j.mp/142KwRQ « Moments of Life

NHPCO responds to latest Washington Post article, http://j.mp/1xDqMP4 « National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

Review: Consider the Conversation 2: Stories about Cure, Relief, and Comfort, http://j.mp/1AjYiuW « Pallimed

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 28 - January 3, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why Doesn’t Everyone Go Through The Five Stages of Grief? http://j.mp/1AbKq8z « Seven Ponds Blog

Good questions here: Media, Death, and Caring for the Grieving, http://j.mp/1vDKFBs « Grief Perspectives

Hilary Mantel on CS Lewis’s A Grief Observed, http://j.mp/1I5QyhL « The Guardian

Coping with Pet Loss, December 28 - January 3, 2015

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Voices of Experience: 7 Things Chipper Taught Me About Life and Business, http://j.mp/1JXAtym « Grief Healing Blog

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.