Widow Asks: Should I Adopt A Second Dog?

I have found that when you are deeply troubled, there are things you get from the silent devoted companionship of a dog that you can get from no other source. ~ Doris Day

A reader writes: I love dogs, and since my husband died, only my beautiful little Cockapoo saves me from living alone. I couldn't survive without her. I know how many dogs in shelters need homes, and one great no‑kill shelter near me may have to shut down for lack of funds. So I've been thinking a lot about adopting a second dog. But I don't know if it's a good time to bring a new pet into my life. I still hurt so much from losing my husband that the thought of opening up my heart again, even to a dog, is scary. And I've been a human companion to many dogs, so I know what to expect: Bringing a new one home would probably mean some bad behavior, an "accident" or two, maybe some chewing and (I hope not) fighting. If these were normal times, no problem. But with the limited control of emotions I have now, I worry that both the dog and I might be too stressed.

Finding Support in A Grief Group

Exploring the unknown requires tolerating uncertainty.  ~ Brian Greene

A reader writes: I am going to go to my first grief group meeting tomorrow afternoon. I have to admit, I have never been to any kind of support group meeting like this before, and I'm feeing pretty uncertain about it. Any thoughts you'd be willing to share with me?

My response: I applaud your decision to participate in a support group. It takes great courage to acknowledge your need for the support of others, and I respect and admire you for taking this important step in your own healing. Remember too that you are not alone in feeling as you do ~ I'm sure you'll meet others in your group who are just as reluctant to be there as you are. 

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 10 - April 16, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

“Grief is neither a problem to be solved nor a problem to be overcome. It is a sacred expression of love – a sacred sorrow.”  Grief: Neither a problem to solve nor a problem to overcome « People's Defender 

Alan D. Wolfelt: My Position on the New “Prolonged Grief Disorder” Diagnostic Category in the DSM Grief Is Not a Disorder « Center for Loss & Life Transition

In Grief: When to Consider Joining A Support Group

[Reviewed and updated August 22, 2021]

If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.  ~ Booker T. Washington

A reader writes: I was wondering if anyone around the 6th month maybe (because that's where I'm at now) remembers things more vividly. I had forgotten so many precious things and I don't know if it was the holidays or a point that I am at but everything comes to me so clearly. I dream more vividly, I look around my house and memories just flow in. In some ways I am glad to have these memories come to me, but they are also reminding me of how wonderful things were with him here and how I won't have that again.

Hospice & Understanding and Managing Grief, January 5 - January 11, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

One day you will lose someone you love and find yourself walking in The Land of Dark Shadows and Deep Sorrow. Then you will know the truth of grief. May you not regret how you have treated others.Wake Up! Grief Needs Something From Your Heart, https://j.mp/2R8vHb6 « Rebelle Society

The death of a loved one isn’t just one single earth-shattering loss. In reality, it’s a tremendous loss, followed by a lot of smaller losses in its aftermath. A Deep Dive Into Secondary Loss, https://j.mp/35AicWJ « What's Your Grief?

In many religious traditions, God is believed to be responsive to the needs of believers, and in difficult times, the faithful turn to God for comfort and guidance. When Religion Makes Grief More Difficult, https://j.mp/2QWeAsU « Thrive Global

Caregiving and Hospice, June 2 - June 8, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Paging Dr. Spot, http://j.mp/2WOYOVG « AAMC News

Does Medicine Have a Wall of Silence? http://j.mp/2WMChbX « Medpage Today

The Truth about Hospice, http://j.mp/2QOU7po « Benevilla

Caregiving and Hospice, October 14 - October 20, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

I Need to Have a Life, http://j.mp/2R25Ksa « The Caregiver Space

A Working Class Death, http://j.mp/2AdWUll « True

When Your Partner Is Dying, What Do You Say? http://j.mp/2A9ld43 « NextAvenue

Caregiving and Hospice, July 1 - July 7, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

9 Ways to Soothe Someone With Dementia Who Wants to Go Home, http://j.mp/2ucxYq2 « Caring.com

Lizzy Miles: "A conspiracy of Hope" is educational for consumers and outlines the difficulties medical professionals have w/ being open and honest. LOVE that author recommends palliative care. http://j.mp/2zjaaXy « Men's Health

Be Your Brother’s Keeper, http://j.mp/2tWjB9Z « Second Firsts

Grief Support Group: Should I Stay or Leave?

I will leave when the pain of staying is greater than the pain of leaving.  ~ Unknown

A reader writes: I've been attending a loss of spouse group for a couple months now, and last night was the first time that the whole group came at one time. It was 8 widows, all in various stages of loss. It is held at a time I normally would not be out of the house. Well, last night when I got home, I felt myself over stimulated; not emotional, but just not able to quiet my mind. I find myself worrying about one of the members. She is just two months out and she used the word desperate. She is on an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds, and feels they aren't working. It is not my place to say anything, but I am concerned for her.

Pet Loss: Finding Support in A Group

[Reviewed and updated October 29, 2025]

A knowledge that another has felt as we have felt, and seen things not much otherwise than we have seen them, will continue to the end to be one of life’s choicest blessings. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

A reader writes: I have a question. I had to make one of the hardest decisions this past Saturday when I had to put down my beloved dog Bruno. I am not doing so well now. My vet knows of a pet loss support group she thinks I should attend, but I’m not sure how it could help, and I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable in a group like that. Can you tell me what you would recommend?

Caregiving and Hospice, October 16 - October 22, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Book: LGBTQ-Inclusive Hospice and Palliative Care http://amzn.to/2dvweOg « Columbia University Press

How Palliative Care Can Help You, http://bit.ly/2eisFOV « Get Palliative Care

Study Confirms Benefits of Early Palliative Care, http://bit.ly/2dqyR3S « National Cancer Institute

Surviving Spousal Loss: Financial Concerns in Widowhood, Part 2

[Reviewed and updated July 21, 2024]

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.  ~ Benjamin Franklin

In an earlier post a recently widowed woman described her difficulty in deciding how best to take the benefits from her husband's life insurance policy. For surviving spouses with other financial concerns, I’d like to offer some additional information.

Helping Seniors with Pet Loss

Source

[Reviewed and updated November 4, 2025]

We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we would still live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan.  ~ Irving Townsend

Loss of a beloved pet is difficult under any circumstances, but it can be particularly so for people in their senior years, whose most consistent experience at this stage of life is loss. By now they have lost parents, spouses, siblings, children or close friends to death. Their physical strength, stamina and mobility have lessened. With retirement, their identity with a prior occupation is lost, along with the usual routine and the opportunity for socialization in the workplace. If living on a fixed income, even their former standard of living is lost.

Caregiving and Hospice, February 16 - February 22, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Pssst! Is That Guilt Whispering in Your Ear? http://j.mp/1l8Z20m « Alzheimer's Reading Room

5 Major Benefits of Hospice Care for Terminally Ill Patients, http://j.mp/1jXrnGF « Medical Diaries

Palliative Care: Bringing Comfort to Pain and Passage, http://j.mp/1bWeTwH « Medicine at Michigan

Coping with Pet Loss, February 2 - February 8, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Not 'Just a Cat' -- Surprising Responses to My Mourning, http://j.mp/1lEa7I7 « HuffPost Healthy Living

Animals help us to be better humans, http://j.mp/1b6z2jk « Two Old Horses and Me

Why End-of-Life Care??? http://j.mp/1gMNHSU « Henderson Mobile Veterinary Services

Caregiving and Hospice, December 29 - January 4, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Real Story Behind The Latest Hospice Controversy, http://j.mp/1g6h9im « Forbes

Bravo! Hospice Gets Trashed by the Washington Post. Our Response, http://j.mp/1hm9tvZ « Harrison's Hope

Free Copies of 'Activities 101 for the Family Caregiver,' http://j.mp/1gx1ae6 « The Caregiver Partnership

Widow Considers Adopting A Second Dog

Find an updated version of this post here:

Widow Asks: Should I Adopt A Second Dog?

A reader writes: I love dogs, and since my husband died, only my beautiful little Cockapoo saves me from living alone. I couldn't survive without her. I know how many dogs in shelters need homes, and one great no‑kill shelter near me may have to shut down for lack of funds. So I've been thinking a lot about adopting a second dog. But I don't know if it's a good time to bring a new pet into my life. 

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 18 - November 24, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Strengthen Your Spiritual Link As You Mourn The Death Of Your Loved One, http://j.mp/ShyhIc

New bereavement support standards for palliative care services in Victoria (pdf), http://bit.ly/10m5LIA @LDMatters via @tweet_acgb

Absolutely stunning: The Poetry of Sandy « Art Beat | PBS NewsHour | PBS, http://j.mp/TleffS

Terrific film review: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel  http://j.mp/UjdJzB « The Family Plot Blog

For That, I Am Thankful,  http://j.mp/XDjlbR « Grief Healing Blog

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 9 - September 15, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Nurses examine caregiver grief http://bit.ly/Ptjsh0 MT @new_spri

• Beautiful story: The Widow's Doctor Visit, http://j.mp/SoaYIj  « New York Times

• The Moments after a Death, http://ow.ly/dFOYI « Canadian Virtual Hospice via @AMSPhoenix

• Do you know a child who’s experienced a loss? Kids speak out, http://youtu.be/DjFHpUZAfFM « YouTube

• How do you define grief moving forward? http://j.mp/SLlS17

Caregiving and Hospice, June 10 - June 16, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Humor: Mary Maxwell’s Invocation at the 2012 Aging in America Conference http://j.mp/MbR16r  | Caregiver Stress
  
  
• How to Help When Help Is Not Wanted, http://ow.ly/bA7w4 by @beclosedotcom
  
  
• The Psychology of Pain: It’s Not What You Think, http://j.mp/JuWxi4 by @StanGoldberg
  
  
• MUST SEE: Beautiful PBS Video! The Role of The Hospice Chaplain, http://j.mp/M81kZ0
  
  
• Making light of dying, http://bit.ly/K4WLNb via @KSkipperFoster