Coping with Overwhelming Loss

[Reviewed and updated June 27, 2022]

A reader writes: I have come to the conclusion this year for me is supposed to be a lifetime movie. To start the year off I had to admit my son to a psychiatric hospital. He was bullied in school and wanted to die. He was also still having trouble dealing with his biological mother's death. She died of leukemia.

I got him home and less than 2 weeks later my family awoke to find my 2-year-old daughter dead in her bed. She was happily playing the night before, but had died in her sleep from an undetected heart condition.

Every day is a struggle and I am in more pain than I can bear. My heart hurts.

Caregiving and Hospice, August 21 - August 27, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

More Than Medication: Hospice Care, http://j.mp/2bkZsPh « KJZZ

A physician tells a health insurance CEO what she really thinks, http://j.mp/2brUZfm « Kevin MD

Last 25 Articles on the Alzheimer's Reading Room, http://j.mp/2bzU7aj « Alzheimer's Reading Room

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 21 - August 27, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How Do I help A Grieving Child In My Classroom? http://j.mp/2c4f1iE « Suzanne J. Bayer, LLC

Children Want the Truth, http://j.mp/2bpbab6 « Widower's Grief

Eight Times Grief Made Me Feel Ugly, Mean or Crazy, http://j.mp/2bEwhfi « What's Your Grief?

Traumatic Loss: Surviving A Sibling's Fatal Accident

To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.  ~ Clara Ortega

A reader writes: I'm going through a very difficult time. My oldest brother (39) died a month ago in a car wreck. We were super close as I lived with him for 5 years and he was always  protecting me and giving me his support and guidance ( I'm 31). Even before he died he told me how much he loved me and to take care of my belly, that we will see each other in a few days -- but this never happened and I'm devastated! He was so full of life. His wife recently had a baby, they both had great jobs and just bought a new house. He had so many dreams but was robbed of all of them by a negligent driver! I'm so full of anger and hate!

Caregiving and Hospice, August 14 - August 20, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Aging Solo: Okay, I don’t have a child to help me, but I do have a plan, http://j.mp/2aZlXZI « The Washington Post

The Gold Standard for Current Cancer Treatment, http://bit.ly/2biQYZm « Care And Cost

Why Listening Can Be a Gift, http://j.mp/2bcodgZ « Quiet Revolution

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 14 - August 20, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Exploring grief with photography, http://j.mp/2blqARv « Bereavement Care: Vol 34, No 2

When Breath Becomes Air: An evening with Lucy Kalanithi, http://j.mp/2btK5b2 « Interlochen Public Radio

Children: The Overlooked Grievers, http://bit.ly/2b9ZACS « GriefMinisterdotcom

Coping with Pet Loss, August 14 - August 20, 2016

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Coping with grief after the loss of a beloved pet, http://j.mp/2bcfFXp « North Shore News

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

In Grief: My Life Turned Upside Down

Source

[Reviewed and updated February 6, 2021]

Strange, how death had a way of turning a table upside down in an instant. It swept away all the dust that covered treasures, blew the fog from one's view, knocked away facades.  ~ Julianne MacLean

A reader writes: My son-in-law was killed in a motorcycle accident two years ago. He was an amazing father and husband to my daughter, who was pregnant with their 5th child. He was a professor at a Bible college and going to get his doctorate. My daughter was never as happy as she was when she found the man of her dreams. My husband and I moved last year to be closer to my daughter and our grandchildren. I had been a hairdresser at the same salon for 30 years, but I gave it up because my husband could work from home anywhere. Meanwhile last October our 28 year-old son moved in with our daughter to help take care of the kids. He was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma last December. He had two surgeries: ribs cracked open to remove a mass from his chest, then a large mass in his neck, followed by 10 chemos and 14 radiations.

Caregiving and Hospice, August 7 - August 13, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Unnecessary Suffering and Indignity, http://bit.ly/2aJAdFV « BarbaraKarnesRN

Electronic hell records are here. Watch and weep. http://j.mp/2b5iauP « Kevin MD

Dying to Know Day: D2KD 2016, http://j.mp/2aGviLE « D2KDay|USA

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you'd like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you're cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 7 - August 13, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

I'm Not Moving On From. I'm Moving On With. http://j.mp/2aSrlks « The Huffington Post

Not So Fast... Thank You, http://j.mp/2aJv8PM « Grief Watch

Revolutionary Act: Choosing Love When Death is All Around, http://j.mp/2aQrBxS « Open to Hope

Coping with Pet Loss, August 7 - August 13, 2016

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Rob Lowe and son John Owen bid warm goodbyes to their dog Buster, http://j.mp/2b20hPq « Daily Mail

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you'd like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you're cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Voices of Experience: Unending Circle

Photo by Amy Willard

by Amy Willard

The symbolism of the ring is not, ultimately, about your own efforts or decisions or commitments, it’s a reminder of the promise that another has made to you, and of the promise that God has made to you both.  ~ Fr. Stephen Wang

Daniel put this ring on my finger 14 years ago today. The one beside it, I placed on his.

On this day, sitting here without him, I tell myself that it's important - vital - that I focus on the day I gave him this ring and shove back the thoughts of the day I took it back off his finger before they took his body away from me.

Caregiving and Hospice, July 31 - August 6, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

After Caregiving: How to Fill the Void, http://j.mp/2aAxKks « Grandparents.com

No Glamorous Pink Ribbon Here: A Reflection on Death and Life, http://j.mp/2b01hlW « GeriPal

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you'd like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you're cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 31 - August 6, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Regret: It's Too Late Now, or Is It? http://j.mp/2aoRM2x «  Elaine Mansfield

If You Can’t Stand To Look At The Empty Chair – Sit In It, http://j.mp/2awskFn « The Grief Toolbox

25 Years After Losing My Father to Suicide, Sadness Resurfaces, http://j.mp/2aVFHmF « The Gift of Second

Coping with Pet Loss, July 31 - August 6, 2016

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Palliative Care for Your Terminally Ill Dog, http://j.mp/2aRtFe0 « Dogster

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you'd like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you're cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

In Grief: When Can I Stop The Process?

Source

[Reviewed and updated January 18, 2019]

Grief comes in three stages: the beginning, the middle, and the rest of your life.  ~ Candace Lightner

A reader writes: I have been reading a great little book called Healing After Loss by Martha Hickman. It contains brief, one-page daily readings to help people work through their grief.

The theme for this day was “Sometimes the best choice is to be in my grief, sometimes not.”

The author says that sometimes we get used to living in the grieving mood and find it more “comfortable” to stay with than to make the effort to move away from the grief.

She writes, “We are the best judges of when to stay in our grief and when to move on to something else.” I completely agree with that statement.