In Grief: Feeling Pressured to "Move On"

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.  ~ Robert Frost

A reader writes: I was married to a wonderful man for 26 years. At the age of 45 he suffered a massive heart attack and was given a life expectancy of two to five years, but with pacemakers, meds, and various procedures, he was able to be with us another ten years. They were not always easy years, as illness does not bring out the best in any of us. Nevertheless, we fell back in love and had the opportunity and blessing of this past year. We grew very close and he was my best friend. We have a grown son that my husband cherished. My question is this: Why after only six weeks do others think my son needs to move on?????

Caregiving, Grief, & Pet Loss, February 16 - February 22, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

If we treated death like birth, we would make death plans in which we imagined how we wanted to feel at the end — even if we rarely know precisely when that will be. And be prepared, even if death were to come to us suddenly. What If We Treated Death Like Birth? https://j.mp/2urcHNK « Modern Loss

Nurses make a major contribution in introducing palliative care to patients (and families) who are receiving medical treatment for their disease but have not been referred to palliative care. Making ‘invisible’ nursing work visible: The work of oncology nurses in introducing early palliative care, https://j.mp/38KfEb7 « EAPC Blog

Caregiving and Hospice, October 14 - October 20, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

I Need to Have a Life, http://j.mp/2R25Ksa « The Caregiver Space

A Working Class Death, http://j.mp/2AdWUll « True

When Your Partner Is Dying, What Do You Say? http://j.mp/2A9ld43 « NextAvenue

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 10 - September 16, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Yes, You Can Measure Grief And Here’s How, http://j.mp/2h9xnT9 « Grieve Well

Remembering the 'Lasts,' http://j.mp/2eZW8wV « Open to Hope

I Can't Live Without You, http://j.mp/2eZSGSZ « Mourning Coffee for the Mourning Soul

Caregiving and Hospice, July 31 - August 6, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

After Caregiving: How to Fill the Void, http://j.mp/2aAxKks « Grandparents.com

No Glamorous Pink Ribbon Here: A Reflection on Death and Life, http://j.mp/2b01hlW « GeriPal

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Caregiving and Hospice, February 14 - February 20, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Music Therapy Works Better Than Relaxation Exercises In Improving Health Of Palliative Care Patients, http://j.mp/1HDbAuc « Medical Daily

Music for Dementia Patients, https://youtu.be/SdammRGKeZk « YouTube

No words..."The Life of Death," https://vimeo.com/154739710 « Vimeo

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 2 - August 8, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Seeing Death in Nature: Preparing Children for Loss, http://j.mp/1IVh3L5 « It's OK to Die

Don’t You Tell Me How to Grieve! http://j.mp/1KakGta « GriefMinisterDotCom

Helpful article! Tolerating the Intolerable: Beyond Numbing, http://j.mp/1git8i3 « Open to Hope

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 31 - June 6, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Virtually grieving - the changing face of coping with loss, http://j.mp/1MbOYha « eHospice

On explaining death to children: No More Erasers! http://j.mp/1F084BJ « Suzanne J Bayer

6 Practical Steps for Transforming Loss, http://j.mp/1FC6Z3v « Maria Shriver

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 5 - April 11, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How Can a Labyrinth Help in the Grieving Process? http://j.mp/1PwFP6A « SevenPonds Blog

Jane Hirshfield On Turning To Poetry In Grief, http://j.mp/1yiTMQc « KUOW.org

In Grief: Us vs. Them, http://j.mp/1ylbL8T « Alive in Memory

Caregiving and Hospice, December 28 - January 3, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What are my options? Interactive tool to guide healthcare choices, http://j.mp/142KwRQ « Moments of Life

NHPCO responds to latest Washington Post article, http://j.mp/1xDqMP4 « National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

Review: Consider the Conversation 2: Stories about Cure, Relief, and Comfort, http://j.mp/1AjYiuW « Pallimed

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 24 - August 30, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Solving the Problem of Grief: The Solution Is Not What You Think, http://j.mp/1Cdaxeh « HuffPost Healthy Living

The War on Grief, http://j.mp/Z22T7t « HuffPost Healthy Living

25 Years After Losing My Father to Suicide, Sadness Resurfaces, http://j.mp/1otsHy4 « HuffPost GPS for the Soul

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 13 - July 19, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Forgiveness in Grief, http://j.mp/1nWtMT4 « Alive in Memory

Hope and Healing at Camp Widow, http://j.mp/1sAx5Cz « Widow's Voice

When Life Dishes Out the Unexpected – and it Always Does, http://j.mp/1mnwhZI « Ashley Davis Bush, LICSW

Caregiving and Hospice, May 25 - May 31, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

This is hilarious! What if Frank Underwood was your attending? Watch Dr. House of Cards and find out. http://j.mp/SmoMux « Kevin MD

Chemotherapy: what patients need to know, http://j.mp/1mNB8GG « Barbara Karnes, RN

Touching story: A life lesson in the operating room http://j.mp/1lTSUoF « Kevin MD

If Life Is Difficult, What About Grief?

Source

Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult -- once we truly understand and accept it -- then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. ~ M. Scott Peck, MD

A reader writes:  I read in one of your recent posts a quotation from The Road Less Traveled about accepting the fact that life is difficult. I'm trying to understand the author's words but failing.