In Grief: Being Angry with God

What fire does not destroy, it hardens.   ~ Oscar Wilde

A reader writes: Our daughter was only 41 years old when she died of heart failure a year ago, leaving her three sons behind. Just a little over one week ago, their home caught fire and burned to the ground, taking her dog with the fire. As we stood looking at the burned out shell of our daughter’s house, we were in shock.

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 16 - October 22, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Joanne Cacciatore's Arizona farm is drawing mourning parents from around the globe seeking solace after the loss of a child. Arizona Farm Gives Refuge From Pain, for Man and Beast Alike « U.S.News

Despite going through this turmoil, our society hardly provides the required support to the grieving mothers. Customarily, this issue is considered very trivial in our society and is rarely talked about. Child Loss: A trivialised grief « Minute Mirror

In Grief: Coping with Anger at God

Find an updated version of this post here:

In Grief: Being Angry with God

A reader writes: Our daughter was only 41 years old when she died of heart failure a year ago, leaving her three sons behind. Just a little over one week ago, their home caught fire and burned to the ground, taking her dog with the fire. As we stood looking at the burned out shell of our daughter’s house, we were in shock.

Voices of Experience: Becoming Starlight

Aristotle taught that stars are made of a different matter than the four earthly elements ~ a quintessence ~ that also happens to be what the human psyche is made of. Which is why man’s spirit corresponds to the stars. Perhaps that’s not a very scientific view, but I do like the idea that there’s a little starlight in each of us.  ~ Lisa Kleypas

Soon after completing her graduate studies in psychology, Dr. Sharon Prentice longed to discover “the why’s” about her own intimate experience with death in the form of a Shared Death Experience (SDE), and that of others who had experienced something “weird, unbelievable, odd” at the time of the death of a loved one.  By sharing her own story, she hopes to replace fear with hope, and take away the vulnerability that is intrinsic in sharing these experiences: "When vulnerability morphs into strength, Starlight wins!" The following excerpt comes from her book, Becoming Starlight: A Shared Death Journey from Darkness to Light, and is reprinted here with her permission.

Voices of Experience: Prayer for Safety ~ A Pastor's Response

by Michelle Jarvie

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays. ~ Soren Kierkegaard

It was a normal moment. The last meeting before Easter was coming to a close, the cookie container was emptying, people were discussing next steps. Sitting in my church’s conference room at a large rectangular table, I heard one of my colleagues say, “Let’s close in prayer.”

As the ISIS attack on Brussels occurred just one day before, the first prayer request was for the safety of a friend we all knew traveling in Europe. “I’d also like to pray for my children, who are traveling for Spring Break. Please bring them home safely,” another chimed.

I don’t think I heard anything after that. Instead, I felt my temperature rise, saw my husband’s body dragged on the road by a reckless SUV, and revisited many thoughts I’ve had hundreds of times before:

Caregiving and Hospice, January 24 - January 30, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Doesn't Hospice Really Kill People? http://j.mp/1Vxhi2c « HuffPost 50

A Moment of Death Guide, http://j.mp/1NAAl5T « Barbara Karnes, RN

“The Music of My Life”: A Life Review Through Music, http://j.mp/204IKLD « National Hospice Foundation

Caregiving and Hospice, September 13 - September 19, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why is Death Midwifery Important? An Interview with Pashta MaryMoon, Part 1 http://j.mp/1NK9r19 « Seven Ponds

The question doctors fear most: 'Do you believe in God?' http://j.mp/1iTA1rZ « The Guardian

Burnout: Tips for Family Caregivers, http://j.mp/1Oh0oon « Senior Care Central

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 30 - September 5, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Getting lost in grief, http://j.mp/1N9Bs0u « What to Say When Someone Dies

Wonderful! How to Write a Condolence Note, http://j.mp/1JFloPh « A Cup of Jo

Wisdom from bereaved mom Maria Kubitz: Forgiveness in Grief, http://j.mp/1N84Fc9 « Open to Hope

Caregiving and Hospice, August 16 - August 22, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Lies of Hospice Patients, http://j.mp/1MDdUAS « Pallimed

5 ways to help loved ones adjust to Chronic Illness, http://j.mp/1Jatm4S « About Health

Choice and Control at the End of Life – The 3 Wishes Project, http://j.mp/1PoE8Gj « GeriPal

Caregiving and Hospice, June 28 - July 4, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

5 Ways Hospice Care Is Changing Americans' Lives, http://j.mp/1C3joCp « Bustle

5 Tips For People Choosing Long Term Dementia Care, http://j.mp/1CdY9hv « Alzheimer's Reading Room

A Caregiver’s Resume, http://j.mp/1T5EXXs « The Unprepared Caregiver

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 31 - June 6, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Virtually grieving - the changing face of coping with loss, http://j.mp/1MbOYha « eHospice

On explaining death to children: No More Erasers! http://j.mp/1F084BJ « Suzanne J Bayer

6 Practical Steps for Transforming Loss, http://j.mp/1FC6Z3v « Maria Shriver

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 10 - May 16, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Film Review: Up (2009), http://j.mp/1cF7lj1 « SevenPonds Blog

Heart wrenching: Dying With Dignity, http://j.mp/1EDPEYr « HuffPost Healthy Living

Fallout From A Suicide Can Touch Everyone Who Is Exposed, http://j.mp/1F8o8Vn « Grief after Suicide

Caregiving and Hospice, April 26 - May 2, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Who Guides Hospice Volunteers? An Interview with Steven Willey, Hospice Volunteer Manager, Part Two, http://j.mp/1Jgzc3E « Seven Ponds Blog

Overcoming The Death Taboo By Just Talking About It, http://j.mp/1bp2Jwc « KUOW.org

Brilliant: Does Everything Happen for a Reason? http://j.mp/1GM1K4B « HuffPost GPS for The Soul

Religion and Spirituality in Grief

[Reviewed and updated July 27, 2026]

Talk to me about the truth of religion and I'll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand. ~ C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

A reader writes: I believe in God. I believe my husband is in heaven and I intend to be there with him one day. I couldn't go on if I thought we would never be together again. So I do have some faith. But right now, the whole 'pray and trust in God' thing kind of makes me want to run the other way. I guess you could say that I'm a bit angry with God right now. He has taken away my Love from me.

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 8 - March 14, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving, http://j.mp/1b9P7p6 « Alan D. Wolfelt

Easier than what?: A mother looks at life without, http://j.mp/1AnF99m « Writing the Heartache Blog

Taking Death to Parties - Why Mentioning a Loved One Who Has Recently Passed Away Matters, http://j.mp/1CcPICz « Ezine Articles

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 29 - July 5, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The First Year of Grief: Help for the Journey ebook, http://ow.ly/yDM9O « Self-Healing Expressions

The Hungry Mourner: How the world marks death with food, http://j.mp/TFX7VE « Modern Loss

Does Gender Affect How We Grieve? http://j.mp/1j1uOxj « Pilgrimage through Loss

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 18 - May 24, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Every Day Can Be A MemorialDay, http://j.mp/1vY1jiY « GriefMinisterdotcom

Was Your Relationship 'Good' Enough to Warrant So Much Grief? http://j.mp/1ofIgi8 « Megan Devine

Supporting Someone Who’s Grieving, http://j.mp/1nk1dR4 « Alive in Memory

Caregiving and Hospice, May 11 - May 17, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

7 life lessons [for men] from hospice workers, http://j.mp/QQYrUj « Men's Health

Building Outrage: Mad as Hell—and Then What? http://j.mp/1sBkPgN « MediCaring.org

Watch the short film to find out how ehospice improves access to quality palliative care worldwide, http://youtu.be/sD4IspE3NpI « YouTube

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 9 - February 15, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Griefcase: What Will "They" Say? Ten Tacky Things and Ten Top Things to Say Back, http://j.mp/1jmDJF9 « Griefcase

Film Review: “Rabbit Hole” (2010) by John Cameron Mitchell,  http://j.mp/1gKBhq9 « SevenPonds Blog

Excellent piece: 'You Aren't Here Now: How Grief and Mindfulness Don't Mix,'  http://j.mp/1jmvjxx « HuffPost Healthy Living

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 1 - September 7, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Lovely commentary: Death and Dying: Living and Dying in 140 Characters, http://j.mp/17dLzvv « Huffington Post

Two Stages of Grief (for Preschoolers), http://buff.ly/1dHUKti « Mommy Man

Friday Favorites: Grief Articles, http://j.mp/15Bv4GD « What's Your Grief?

Inspiring! Finding My Stride, http://j.mp/15EcdAB « Hello Grief

The Bereavement Counselor: Public Misperception, http://j.mp/14vJvM7 « Pallimed