In Grief: Should Young Children Attend a Funeral?

When deciding whether your child should attend a funeral or memorial service, age is not the most important consideration. Your child is part of the family, and as grief expert Dr. Alan Wolfelt wisely observes, children who are old enough to love are old enough to grieve.

No child is too young to attend a funeral, provided that the child is prepared for what will happen and what he or she will see at the funeral home, and is lovingly guided through the process. Shutting children out makes them feel alone and conveys the idea that death and grief are too horrible to be faced. Children need to learn that special, loved people do die—but also that there will always be somebody there to take care of them.

Memorial Day: Honoring Fallen Service Members and Their Families

[Reviewed and updated May 22, 2026]

They fell, but o'er their glorious grave /
Floats free the banner of the cause they died to save.
~ Francis Marion Crawford

Nearly four million men and women have served in the U.S. military over the last fifteen years, and more than half of them are married with children.
 
Originally designated as a day “to cherish tenderly the memory of our heroic dead,” Memorial Day is held on the last Monday of May each year. The holiday offers us a great opportunity to recognize and honor the sacrifice of these dedicated service members and their families.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 6 - December 12, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

There is a misconception that grief is just sadness (maybe with some anger thrown in). The reality? Grief feels like so many things. Grief feelings can change from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. And they are ALL NORMAL. What Does Grief Feel Like? « What's Your Grief? 

It is only natural that you want to protect your children from being upset at all costs, but it is not necessarily a bad thing that they are introduced to the concept of loss at a relatively early age. After all, death is – sadly – the one inevitability of life, and we all have to come to terms with it at some point. Should you take children to a funeral? « AK Lander

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, October 11 - October 17, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Pediatric nurse practitioner Deborah Fisher spent her early career working in intensive care units. The experience convinced her that more needed to be done to improve end-of-life care for children. A nurse practitioner’s Brief But Spectacular take on end-of-life care for children « PBS News Hour

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 2 - September 8, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief doesn’t have five stages, http://j.mp/2CpKgmg « The Outline

Updated Today: Grief Bibliography, http://j.mp/2ykZci7 « Grief Healing

Why Am I So Crabby? http://j.mp/2MPNSDa « Grief Compass

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 26, 2018 - September 1, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

7 Ways To Accommodate Little Kids at a Funeral, http://j.mp/2owyNrs « Modern Loss

For Those in Grief, Talking to a Dead Loved One Is Good for Mental Health, http://j.mp/2NbcHc8 « Teen Vogue

Is Anxiety the Missing Stage of Grief? http://j.mp/2N5zd68 « Goop

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 18 - February 24, 2018

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Breathe. Eat. Sleep. http://j.mp/2HFwkDd « Widower's Grief

Explaining Pet Loss to Children: Some Do's and Don'ts, http://j.mp/2Cw2rll « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Caregiving and Hospice, October 29 - November 4, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

November is National Hospice and Palliative Care Month! Let's celebrate the wonderful end of life care that hospice and palliative care can give! http://j.mp/2h1Mx9M « Hospice Action Network

Defining Dignity at End of Life: One Question to Ask Hospice Patients, http://j.mp/2iwEWR4 « Pallimed

Linda Campanella: Why Are We in Denial about Death? http://j.mp/1nMTc7u « Pittsburgh Better Times

Voices of Experience: The Wisdom of a 5-Year Old Picking Carrots

Credit: Dylan Parker

By Mary Beth Beck-Henderson

You can bury a lot of troubles digging in the dirt. ~ Anonymous

Mary Beth and her husband John had been married for nearly 24 years before he succumbed to complications of a superior mesenteric artery (SMA) aneurysm on November 22, 2016. They have a son who is now 20 years old and in college. Mary Beth has worked with families as a social worker and family educator for over 26 years. Acknowledging that she is "always looking for ways to make meaning out of all of this," she uses writing as a tool for healing grief, and hopes that the journal she is keeping may become a book one day. The following essay is reprinted here with her permission.

Caregiving and Hospice, June 25 - July 1, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Hospice Care: When is it Time? http://bit.ly/2kdbwu8 « EGAN Home Health and Hospice

Hospice Care about Re-Focusing Priorities, Not Giving Up - Alzheimer's, http://j.mp/2uikS9g « Health Central

From above: Geriatric social workers mean the world to children of aging parents, http://j.mp/2u8CG6P « Chicago Tribune

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 25 - July 1, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why Grief Is A Series of Contractions and Expansions, http://j.mp/2usodTo « Tricycle

What one good doctor taught this mother about grief, http://j.mp/2tqYldm « Kevin MD

Delayed Grief: When Grief Gets Worse, http://j.mp/2tqhQm7 « The Grief Toolbox

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 1 - January 7, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

My Second Chapter: Life, Marriage, Family, http://bit.ly/2i1UjDK « Open to Hope

Please read this before you post another RIP on social media. http://u.pw/2i2cUe1 « Up Worthy

Talking to Children About Death, http://bit.ly/2i0vx20 « Psychology Today

Caregiving and Hospice, April 10 - April 23, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream:

A Love Letter – “You Are The Light of Hospice,” http://j.mp/1P9oiAD « Hospice Times

Podcast: Using the Independent Death Doula in Healthcare, http://j.mp/1T3nQ6f « Hospice Times

Your anger towards doctors is misplaced, http://j.mp/214f65Z « Kevin MD

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 14 - September 20, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Obligation to Replenish When Mourning, http://j.mp/1rqkyAC « Ezine Articles

Growth and Grief Resources (in print), http://j.mp/1wwSID0 « What's Your Grief?

New book to help children express feelings, navigate difficulties: The Rhino Who Swallowed a Storm, http://j.mp/1r7x0Un « Amazon

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 31 - September 6, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief and Home Decor: Thanks For The Memories, http://j.mp/1BixoUv « Build Direct Blog

Grief In The Second Year: Finding Your Way, http://j.mp/wRiJJS « Grief Healing Blog

Armchair Analysis: Was Your Relationship 'Good' Enough to Warrant So Much Grief? http://huff.to/1m33QBx « HuffPost Healthy Living

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 27 - August 2, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Child Loss: Finding Support on Your Grief Journey, http://j.mp/1lmTVGu « Ezine Articles

What is Aromatherapy? Interview with Marika Fleri of Aroma Treasures, http://j.mp/1rVN1f6 « Seven Ponds Blog

Bibliotherapy: When books are prescribed to heal the mind, http://j.mp/1pNxk6Y « The Boston Globe

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 29 - July 5, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The First Year of Grief: Help for the Journey ebook, http://ow.ly/yDM9O « Self-Healing Expressions

The Hungry Mourner: How the world marks death with food, http://j.mp/TFX7VE « Modern Loss

Does Gender Affect How We Grieve? http://j.mp/1j1uOxj « Pilgrimage through Loss

Caregiving and Hospice, June 22 - June 28, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

16 questions to ask when choosing a hospice, http://j.mp/1q1CcZK
« Kevin MD

Guided Imagery and PTSD: A Different Approach to Treatment, http://j.mp/1obt3fQ « NICABM

Beautiful: Before Night Falls: Hospice nursing in pictures, http://j.mp/1vf9C6H « The New York Times

Caregiving and Hospice, February 2 - February 8, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

‘Aid in Dying’ Movement Takes Hold in Some States, http://j.mp/1koik1v « New York Times

Beyond Hospice: End-of-Life Care for the 21st Century, http://j.mp/1fO5Psx « Altarum Institute

Elders and Pet Ownership: A Balance of Love, http://j.mp/1bcBNPX « The Intentional Caregiver

Caregiving and Hospice, December 8 - December 21, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Series: When is it time for a nursing home? The Decision, http://j.mp/1krC6I2 « Kansas City Star

Dear lawmakers: Why aren't doctors involved in health care reform? http://j.mp/1bWjl7l « Kevin MD

When end of life care becomes a confrontation, http://j.mp/19hFyTd « Kevin MD