Silent Grief: Pregnancy, Stillbirth and Infant Loss

Our duty is to remember them so their place in our lives is one of beauty, a beauty beyond this world. Our duty is to love them boldly, wildly, with every part of our being, and to carry their spirit into the world. ~ Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

A reader writes: It’s been two weeks since my baby died. I was 6 1/2 months pregnant. She had been extremely active ever since I first started feeling her move, but at around 22 or 23 weeks there were days when she wouldn't move at all. At 26 weeks, when I hadn't felt any movement for two days straight, my doctor ordered a full ultrasound, which showed no movement at all, although there was a heartbeat.

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 28 - May 11, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week: 

Grief is a journey. You can move through grief without letting go of the memory of your loved one. I will focus on the “morning” phase, or the sense of hope and faith that keeps us going. Learning From Loss « Psychology Today

Many experts in the field of grief psychology no longer speak of "stages" of grief that you passively go through, but rather of active "tasks" of healthy grieving, particularly in cases of traumatic losses such as the death of a child or death due to an accident, natural disaster, homicide or suicide. Not 'stages' of grief, but 'tasks': Escaping the spiral of heartache « Yahoo! Life

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 31 - January 6, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

Normal grief is a process that varies from person to person. Prolonged Grief Disorder occurs when this process is derailed. Normal grieving is supported by joining specialized groups of mourners and cultural and religious customs. Prolonged Grief Disorder Therapy focuses on healing themes and achieving milestones as recovery progresses. Grief: What Is Normal and What Is Prolonged Grief Disorder « Psychology Today

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 26 - March 4, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The first step in offering support is to acknowledge that this is their loss, too.“Support doesn’t have to look different for either partner. It just needs to be actively demonstrated,” said Jacqueline Fernando, a California therapist who specializes in infertility and pregnancy loss counseling. How To Support The Non-Pregnant Partner After A Miscarriage « Huff Post

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, January 30 - February 5, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

We hold on to love while we can, but sometimes letting someone go is the greatest expression of that love. I'm A Vet Who Helps People Say Goodbye To Their Pets. When My Dog Was Dying, I Couldn't. « HuffPost 

A Brooklyn writer learns to process her grief through her love of art. Welcome to The 'Grief Club' « YouTube

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 20 - December 26, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Hospice providers nationwide are reassessing how they provide bereavement care due to the need for social distancing during the ongoing pandemic. With few other options, many are turning to telehealth systems to support grieving families. Hospices Redesign Bereavement Care Due to Social Distancing « Hospice News

Caregiving, Grief & Pet Loss - November 30 - December 5, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

In 2017, Margo Fowkes started the website Salt Water. The website is chock-full of blogs with topics ranging from loss to caring for yourself after loss. It also offers resources for the bereaved as well for tips for comforting the bereaved.  Navigating Grief’s Choppy Waters « Sacramento Magazine 

Caregiving & Grief, March 8 - March 14, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

When you are grieving, your mental and emotional bandwidth are already strained. Adding external stress and instability can be even harder to cope with than it would be otherwise. Taking Care of Your Mental Health During Coronavirus, https://j.mp/2IPNGPz « What's Your Grief?

Miscarriage can be a painful experience with long-lasting effects on women’s emotional, mental, and physical health. How can they move toward healing?Emotional Healing After a Miscarriage: A Guide for Women, Partners, Family, and Friends, https://j.mp/3cUEKXa « Nursing@Georgetown

In Grief: Coping With Infant Loss

Source

[Reviewed and updated October 23, 2023]

I remember the people I love who have died even though it brings my heart deep sadness. Not to remember them feels like I'm living a lie and like they are dying twice. ~ Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

My husband Michael and I were just out of college when we married in 1965. Less than two years later we were mourning the unexpected death of our second son, who succumbed to an Rh incompatibility when he was barely three days old.

Our baby David Luke Tousley was delivered via C-section on May 23, 1967, after what we thought had been a normal, full-term pregnancy. He died three days later, on May 26.

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 6 - October 12, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

For over three decades, students have shown an ever-increasing desire to learn about death. College Death Classes Are Gaining Popularity, http://j.mp/2My7kBp « Seven Ponds Blog

He suggested that I shouldn't be so terribly upset about the death of my dog. I disagreed. Losses come in many forms, and we can honor all of our feelings about them. Let me be upset. https://j.mp/2ME292C « Heart Callings

Craving sex is an awkward but deeply human response to one of life's worst moments. Yes, Grief Can Make You Horny, https://j.mp/2IBK0S6 « VICE

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 10 - March 16, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Donna, A Photo Memoir of Love and Loss, http://j.mp/2HBuDJt « Donna The Book

Helping to spread the word: short film tackles children dealing with grief and how imagination might heal a broken heart, http://j.mp/2HCVZPm « IndieGoGo

Setbacks in Grief, http://j.mp/2HvPX37 « Grief Compass

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 13 - January 19, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

My dad’s lesson in parenting through grief, served with a side of eggs, http://j.mp/2RBjAGl « The Washington Post

Grieving Who I Used To Be, http://j.mp/2RyUgku « What's Your Grief ?

Updated: Tips for Coping with Sleeplessness in Grief, http://bit.ly/2HuFva9 « Grief Healing

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 6 - August 12, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A letter to … the kind stranger who shared her grief with me, http://j.mp/2vPqbSb «The Guardian

How to talk about grief in the workplace, according to a therapist, http://j.mp/2vLW3a3 « Ladders

Why Grief Is A Series of Contractions and Expansions, http://j.mp/2usodTo  « Tricycle

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 25 - July 1, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why Grief Is A Series of Contractions and Expansions, http://j.mp/2usodTo « Tricycle

What one good doctor taught this mother about grief, http://j.mp/2tqYldm « Kevin MD

Delayed Grief: When Grief Gets Worse, http://j.mp/2tqhQm7 « The Grief Toolbox

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 18 - June 24, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

 Lovely! Nancy Sharp on helping children remember their deceased father: What does it mean to love when you can't remember? http://j.mp/2tYAf6y « Option B

Megan Devine on grief work and how we can carry what can't be fixed, http://j.mp/2tYk898 « Raven Radio

Therapy dogs in funeral homes help mourners process, http://j.mp/2sZci1V «TODAY

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 15 - November 21, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What No One Told Me About Grief,  http://j.mp/1XgUYdp « HuffPost GPS for the Soul

DSM-V is psychiatry's maladaptation in the grey zone masquerading as science, http://j.mp/1NiSZpp
« Kevin MD

Widowed by suicide: Fighting The Stigma, http://j.mp/1LsA6J2 « Soaring Spirits International

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 18 - October 24, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Everything Doesn't Happen For A Reason, http://j.mp/205os1P « The Adversity Within

Grief Is Hard, http://j.mp/204WhAj « Stunned By Grief

On child loss and lessons learned: After Grief,  http://j.mp/1WaiuIr « Responsibility.org

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 4 - October 10, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

5 Things Not To Say To A Grieving Parent, http://j.mp/1FWGxbZ « Her View From Home

What You Say To Someone Who's Grieving Vs. What They Hear, http://j.mp/1jfxDfu « BuzzFeed

Can you die of a broken heart? Broken Hearted, http://j.mp/1L6YEZb « Barbara Karnes, RN

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 7 - June 13, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

New book from National Students of AMF, We Get It: voices of grieving college students, http://j.mp/1G1EkVG « Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Helping Another in Grief, http://ow.ly/NEvAI « Healing eBooks

So touching: I Wish My Father Was Alive, http://j.mp/1QtC2d5 « HuffPost GPS for the Soul

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 25 - January 31, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

3 Volunteer Opportunities for Seniors, http://tinyurl.com/qbczrvf « The Intentional Caregiver

A Mother's Illness, a Daughter's Duty, http://j.mp/1BI20PL « The New York Times / Lens

I Had a Miscarriage. Talk To Me. http://j.mp/15UNKYv « The Washington Post