In Grief: Acknowledging Jealousy and Anger

It would be impossible to estimate how much time and energy we invest in trying to fix, change and deny our emotions ~ especially the ones that shake us at our very core, like hurt, jealousy, loneliness, shame, rage and grief.  ~ Debbie Ford

A reader writes: My counselor came. We talked. I told her about my horrible feelings about other people who have been ill and are recovering. Instead of feeling good for them like a proper empathetic person should do, I feel sorry that they are getting better. How totally awful is that? My counselor said that it's anger that my husband died and they didn't. She said she asked me way back if I felt anger at my husband’s death and I said No. She said now the anger is coming out in resentment that others have survived and my husband has not. I think she may be right. I have struggled with this because it seems such a horrible attitude.

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 22 - January 28, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Unlike other causes of death (like illnesses or accidents), which happen to the person, suicide is an act performed by the person who has chosen death, leaving bereaved survivors with guilt and haunting questions. Healing and Rebuilding Your Life After a Spouse's Suicide https://wb.md/3HDATzg

Acknowledging Jealousy and Anger in Grief

A reader writes: My counselor came. We talked. I told her about my horrible feelings about other people who have been ill and are recovering. Instead of feeling good for them like a proper empathetic person should do, I feel sorry that they are getting better. How totally awful is that? My counselor said that it's anger that my husband died and they didn't. She said she asked me way back if I felt anger at my husband’s death and I said No. She said now the anger is coming out in resentment that others have survived and my husband has not. I think she may be right. I have struggled with this because it seems such a horrible attitude.

When people recover I should rejoice, but I don't. I feel disappointed. This seems to make me the most horrible person I ever met. I am being really honest now with you and you are at liberty to think I am a completely awful person. I wasn't like that before I lost my love. I hope this is a temporary state of affairs because it seems to suggest that bereavement, rather than make me a better, more understanding person has made me a monster of unfeeling. Please don't think me a horrible person, just temporarily one maybe?  Read on here >>>

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 12 - June 18, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Running from Dad’s Death,  http://j.mp/1INFg4l « Open to Hope

What the Term “Fatherless Daughter” Means To Me, http://j.mp/1XZzFCq « Maria Shriver

Why I'm Jealous of Grieving People, http://j.mp/1W3Q2Mb « Modern Loss

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 4 - October 10, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

5 Things Not To Say To A Grieving Parent, http://j.mp/1FWGxbZ « Her View From Home

What You Say To Someone Who's Grieving Vs. What They Hear, http://j.mp/1jfxDfu « BuzzFeed

Can you die of a broken heart? Broken Hearted, http://j.mp/1L6YEZb « Barbara Karnes, RN