In Grief: When A Loved One Shares Thoughts of Suicide

[Reviewed and updated February 23, 2023]

When a person says that he or she is thinking about suicide, you must always take the comments seriously. Assuming that the person is only seeking attention is a very serious, and potentially disastrous, error.  ~ Kevin Caruso

A reader writes: I just had a conversation with my father who is constantly talking suicide. He even gave me a date of his death - my mother's birthday. It is his revenge to everyone - mostly to mom who left because of his drinking and adultery. What am I supposed to tell him? My heart breaks, especially because I am here in this country, and my father is far away overseas. So I would not be able to even attend his funeral, as horrible as it sounds. Can you advise me on how I can cope?

Caregiving and Hospice, July 23 - July 29, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

8 Things to Do When You First Learn Your Loved One Has Alzheimer's, http://j.mp/2uKQd5 « Caring.com

For anyone who is caring for or has ever cared for anyone. Thanks to Gillette for this exquisite video on caregiving, http://j.mp/2uJTRgi « YouTube

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 23 - July 29, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Struggling with Grief? You Need Not Struggle Alone, http://j.mp/2uJT0wl « Self Healing Expressions

Reject the 'J' Word that Devastates Grievers, http://j.mp/2v6dr9c « Stunned By Grief

Grief Identity Crisis: Who are we now? http://j.mp/2v4DZYp « The Grief Toolbox

Teen Grief Following a Fatal Accident

Source

[Reviewed and updated July 8, 2022]

Guilt is to the spirit what pain is to the body.  ~ Elder David A. Bednar

A reader writes: My niece, nephew and my nephew’s girlfriend were in a car accident four weeks ago, and my nephew was the driver. Another car cut him off and he hit a concrete divider. His car flipped over a couple of times and his girlfriend was killed instantly. My nephew is not handling this well at all. How can I help him deal with his grief, or perhaps you can help with contacts with other individuals who have been through the same or similar loss. My nephew is 17 and his girlfriend was 17 also. Any help, information or contacts you can provide would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Caregiving and Hospice, July 16 - July 22, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Health reform everybody could love, http://j.mp/2vsz15b « Kevin MD

Opt-out Organ Donation Saves Lives, http://j.mp/2uHuWML « Seven Ponds

Cancer Doesn't Choose Who Survives Based On How Hard Someone Fights, http://j.mp/2vrYmw0  « HuffPost

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 16 - July 22, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Online Grief Course will be relaunched Fall 2017 Due to Popular Demand, http://j.mp/2vtpxXx « Self-Healing Expressions

Help! My Sister Keeps Posting Photos of Our Dead Father (and Tagging Me) on Social Media, http://j.mp/2vssqaG « Modern Loss

Breaking and Mending 11 Years Later... http://j.mp/2vsfAt8 « Christina Rasmussen

Coping with Pet Loss, July 16 - July 22, 2017

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How a Pet Hospice Vet Can Help Your Senior Dog, http://bit.ly/2otGHR9 « Dogster

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

In Grief: Can I Do This By Myself?

[Reviewed and updated March 6, 2021]

If I think of the real work of grief as doing whatever I can to keep my heart open, to feel and to face every stitch of both pain and love, without somehow abandoning myself in the process, well – that’s “work” I can get behind. That’s work I understand.  ~ Megan Devine

A reader writes: I have only talked to you a couple of times and I am hoping that you can help me out. I am feeling so lost and empty right now that I just want to get in bed and pull the covers over my head, hide and cry. I know that you will say that is normal but I am 32 years old and have never had to deal with the loss of someone. For my first to be my mom, when we used to talk all the time and spend a lot of time together, and for her to leave me—I am so hurt and lost and misplaced. I am hurting so bad. I hate reading books. I get so side-tracked that it does not stick, and the thought of going to a counselor? No thanks. The last one I went to made me feel like I was wasting his time and offered no advice. I used to be so full of life and always had a smile on my face and now nothing.

Caregiving and Hospice, July 9 - July 15, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

'Are you saying I'm dying?' Training doctors to speak frankly about death, http://j.mp/2uoDCat « STAT

Life After the Diagnosis: A Podcast with Steve Pantilat, http://j.mp/2vkMr2f « GeriPal

Medicare4All won't fix the problem, http://j.mp/2uk3Af0 « Kevin MD

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 9 - July 15, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Loneliness: 5 “Don’ts” If You’re Feeling Lonely After Loss,  http://j.mp/2unzHuG « The Grief Toolbox

Terrific interview: Children and Grief, http://j.mp/2unjSDV « Jewel 92 FM

Review: "Bearing the Unbearable" by Joanne Cacciatore, Ph.D., http://j.mp/2vl9cTC « Seven Ponds Blog

Voices of Experience: The Wisdom of a 5-Year Old Picking Carrots

Credit: Dylan Parker

By Mary Beth Beck-Henderson

You can bury a lot of troubles digging in the dirt. ~ Anonymous

Mary Beth and her husband John had been married for nearly 24 years before he succumbed to complications of a superior mesenteric artery (SMA) aneurysm on November 22, 2016. They have a son who is now 20 years old and in college. Mary Beth has worked with families as a social worker and family educator for over 26 years. Acknowledging that she is "always looking for ways to make meaning out of all of this," she uses writing as a tool for healing grief, and hopes that the journal she is keeping may become a book one day. The following essay is reprinted here with her permission.

Caregiving and Hospice, July 2 - July 8, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Cruising, sharing and learning as a hospice volunteer, http://j.mp/2uPhMcW « Coastal View

You can’t always get what you want…  http://j.mp/2uLkpwp « The Fairytale and the Abyss

Palliative Care Patient Education Handouts, http://j.mp/1GT7ygX « Get Palliative Care

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 2 - July 8, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

When Sobriety Meets Grief (and grief meets sobriety), http://j.mp/2uQ6o0y « What's Your Grief?

When your dearly departed loved one was a bit of a devil, http://j.mp/2uPzPzW « The Fresno Bee

Waters of the New Normal: Developing Resilience After Son's Suicide, http://j.mp/2tR4i3l « Michelle Jarvie

Coping with Pet Loss, July 2 - July 8, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What to Do When Your Dog is Lost, http://j.mp/2uLfwnp « TruDog®

Grief Healing: Pet Loss: When Guilt Goes Unresolved, http://j.mp/2uC5oNm « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Pet Loss: When Guilt Goes Unresolved

Source

[Reviewed and updated June 12, 2022]

Dealing with guilt is often thought of as the “dark side” of grieving. In fact, if you were to write a play about grief, guilt would be your villain.  ~ Dana Durrance

A reader writes: First I want to say that my 10-year-old dog is the love of my life sent to me by God to care for. He is epileptic and I devote my life and time to helping him in every way. I dread the day he has to leave me. My prior dog I also loved, perhaps not as closely, but she lived to be almost 17 and I loved her. My problem is that many years ago I gave away a little dog to someone, even knowing in my heart it was not the best home, and I am pretty sure she got run over as they lived on a busy road. It is a long story, but what was I thinking?

Caregiving and Hospice, June 25 - July 1, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Hospice Care: When is it Time? http://bit.ly/2kdbwu8 « EGAN Home Health and Hospice

Hospice Care about Re-Focusing Priorities, Not Giving Up - Alzheimer's, http://j.mp/2uikS9g « Health Central

From above: Geriatric social workers mean the world to children of aging parents, http://j.mp/2u8CG6P « Chicago Tribune

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 25 - July 1, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why Grief Is A Series of Contractions and Expansions, http://j.mp/2usodTo « Tricycle

What one good doctor taught this mother about grief, http://j.mp/2tqYldm « Kevin MD

Delayed Grief: When Grief Gets Worse, http://j.mp/2tqhQm7 « The Grief Toolbox

Coping with Pet Loss, June 25 - July 1, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Companies now offering pet bereavement days for loss of 4-legged friends, http://j.mp/2usxMS5 « ABC 7 News Chicago

'I am an angel of death,' http://j.mp/2t5FVOZ « DVM 360

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.