Holding Space for a Child's Grief after Pet Loss

The moment I decided to follow instead of lead, I discovered the joys of becoming a part of a small child's world.  ~ Janet Gonzalez-Mena

A reader writes: I wrote to you earlier about the death of our dog—our wonderful and loving companion of 15 years—as we were planning a memorial service when we buried her remains in our yard. You were kind enough to refer us to your Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers page, and I thank you so much for your words of comfort. I also took the time to read the articles you suggested, which soothed my sad and heavy heart.

I wrote to you again when I needed to tell my five-year-old granddaughter what happened to Samantha. She knew our dog was old and tired, but she wasn’t there when Samantha was euthanized.

Pet Loss: How to Stop This Run-Away Grief Train

I have lived with several Zen masters -- all of them cats. ~ Eckhart Tolle 

A reader writes: My beautiful lilac-point Siamese passed away earlier this month. I took her to the emergency clinic where they took blood tests and kept her through the weekend hydrating her. That Monday I transferred her to the Cat Care Clinic where she stayed another day. I was taught how to hydrate her and how to force-feed her. She wasn't even drinking water, though she would go to her water bowl and cry. She was trying to get well, but couldn't.

She had seen me over the years come back from the dead more times than I can count and was trying to emulate me. For three weeks she lived on my chest -- hardly moving, needing and giving comfort. When I asked her why she was putting herself through that rather than taking the easy way out by dying she told me she was waiting for me to learn to grieve and celebrate all in one breath. My 15 year-old kitty was wiser than I... Eventually she started having violent seizures on my chest and I asked her if she wanted me to help her die. She said she was OK with the dying process but that if I felt strong enough to go through euthanasia she wouldn't object.

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 1 - May 31, 2025

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this month:

For someone like Emilie, who has let millions into her life online, there's a false sense of intimacy. Fans feel like they know her. They want to comfort her. But in doing so, some cross a line. When comments shift from your pain to my fear, or my gratitude, they stop being about support and start being about self. And that's where well-meaning turns into harm. The six words no grieving mother wants to hear. « Mamamia

Meaningful Quotes on Pet Loss: Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers, Part 1

The profoundest thought or passion sleeps as in a mine, until an equal mind and heart finds and publishes it. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Quotation and Originality

In my many years of working with and supporting bereaved animal lovers ~ not to mention learning to cope with losses of my own cherished pets ~ I've found that reading selected quotes on pet loss can be profoundly helpful ~ for a number of reasons:

First, such quotations validate emotions, as they encapsulate feelings of grief, love, and loss in a concise and relatable way, helping individuals feel understood and less alone in their sorrow.

When Pet Loss Affects Feelings For Those Remaining

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learned here.  ~ Marianne Williamson

A reader writes: I had to put my 13 year-old baby Tasha to sleep three days ago. It was so hard. Even my vet and the vet tech cried. It was comforting to know that she was surrounded by love when she went. My problem now is that I have this huge emptiness in my heart and I feel like I can't love my other dogs as much as I used to.

Pet Loss: A Run-Away Train of Grief

Find the latest version of this post here:

Pet Loss: How to Stop This Run-Away Grief Train

A reader writes: My beautiful lilac-point Siamese passed away earlier this month. I took her to the emergency clinic where they took blood tests and kept her through the weekend hydrating her. That Monday I transferred her to the Cat Care Clinic where she stayed another day. I was taught how to hydrate her and how to force-feed her. She wasn't even drinking water, though she would go to her water bowl and cry. She was trying to get well, but couldn't . . .

Though at times I can actually forget my grief for a little while, it's so raw that I have become intolerant of others, not my usual loving self. I pace all night, missing her on my neck, I get on the computer and play stupid games just to dull the pain. I am a spiritual being and know all things happen for my highest good, yet I would trade places with her in a heartbeat. Yes, I know all the right things, but they don't matter right now. I'm in agony and don't know how to stop this run-away train.  Read on here >>>

Pet Loss: Caring For Your Pet When You Cannot

Forewarned, forearmed; to be prepared is half the victory.  ~ Miguel de Cervantes

When my father died of a heart attack several years ago, my family was totally unprepared. I lived several states away at the time, and in all the confusion, shock and sadness that surrounded his sudden and unexpected death, some decisions were made in haste by other family members, with little or no opportunity for any input from me.

Pet Loss: Seeking Support From A Group

[Reviewed and updated December 2. 2025]

A reader writes: Based on your experience facilitating a Pet Loss Support Group, I'm hoping can you answer some questions for an article I am writing. For instance, how important is it for people who have lost a pet to seek help from a support group? What are some of the more common reasons they have for going to a pet loss support group? And how do they usually feel by the time they get to the support group?

Animal Hospice and Palliative Care: Suggested Resources

[Reviewed amd updated December 2, 2025]

All we animal lovers ever want is to do the best for our animal. When it comes to dying, what is best can be more complex than euthanizing. There is a way to come to peace with the dying process and discover its life enriching value. Animals can teach us about this if we let them. ~ Ella Bittel

Coping with the terminal illness of a cherished animal companion presents the same challenges to an animal lover as would anticipating of the death any other family member. Today hospice and palliative care for human beings provides a much needed service to the dying and to those who care for them, but finding such support for a beloved animal close to the end of life can be more difficult.

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, January 30 - February 5, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

We hold on to love while we can, but sometimes letting someone go is the greatest expression of that love. I'm A Vet Who Helps People Say Goodbye To Their Pets. When My Dog Was Dying, I Couldn't. « HuffPost 

A Brooklyn writer learns to process her grief through her love of art. Welcome to The 'Grief Club' « YouTube

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, January 23 - January 29, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

We call them unspeakable losses because we do not have the vocabulary to speak about them. My partner died. Then my brother. Here’s what not to say to someone who is grieving « The Guardian

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, December 20 - December 31, 2021

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Following 2020, this year was another tough year for many people navigating the pandemic, especially those who lost a friend or family member to COVID-19. The four "Rs' to dealing with grief and finding hope in 2022 « abc 15 Arizona

Research shows how much our furry friends can change us for the better. Losing Our Pets: How We Grow From Grief  « Psychology Today

Pet Loss: Struggling With My Cat’s Ending

If you are someone who is struggling with intense guilt, I encourage you to remember two important things: 1) you are human and humans aren’t perfect 2) you loved your pet and guilt, not you, is the villain.  ~ Dana Durrance  

A reader writes: I have been going through your website and have found a lot of helpful articles. But I haven’t found the answers I so desperately need . . . How can I live with myself? Did I do right by him, even in his final weeks? Did he know he was loved and wanted? Was it worth being home for those hours for him, even though I think his heart got worse (maybe the stress relief did lower his heart rate even more)? Was that final purr session meaningful?

Pet Loss: Waiting for Biopsy Results

Bad news is bad news because it drops your willingness to carry on.  ~ Meir Ezra

A reader writes: Yesterday I found out that my beloved Heidi has a tumor. It has not been confirmed if it is cancerous. We are waiting for the results of the pathology. I know the best thing for her is to be put to sleep and I can't stop thinking about it. She has been with us since she was 5 weeks old and she will turn 13 in March. She has been through so much with me that she is more like one of my children. I never thought in a million years a dog would mean so much to me and I would be so attatched. Thanks for listening to me and any suggestions are welcome.

Pet Loss: Coping with Multiple Losses

[Reviewed and updated April 9, 2022]

Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really. ~ Agnes Sligh Turnbull

A reader writes: I am crying as I write this because I had to put my beloved dog to sleep a week ago today. My other dog also has health problems and has been ill the whole time we went through the trauma of losing our ''girl'' last week. Tonight we had to take our other dog, our little boy, to the vet's. The vet is ''guardedly'' optimistic, although my dog has kidney problems, but has now started being sick to his stomach. I feel like the whole world is crashing down upon me.

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, February 14 - February 20, 2021

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

 A good death is achieved by advocating for, and acting on, what is safest for the pet, what is most meaningful for the caregiver, and what will nourish the veterinary team. The “good death” revolution—Companion animal euthanasia in the modern age « Veterinary Practice News

With time and work, you can feel better—but that doesn’t necessarily happen in the “stages of grief.”  How to Deal With Grief — 6 Tips to Cope With a Painful Loss « Prevention

Pet Loss: Finding Peace After Euthanasia

[Reviewed and updated March 23, 2023]   

Not the least hard thing to bear when they go from us, these quiet friends, is that they carry away with them so many years of our own lives.  ~ John Galsworthy

A reader writes: I need help. I am an 87 yr old woman and last year, after a long illness and in and out of hospitals, home, and nursing home, my husband passed away before I could get there even though he asked for me and it was a mere 5 minute trip, he was gone before I got there.

A few days ago I sent my beloved cat to be euthanized. He was my companion for 10 years. I adopted him when he was 7; no one wanted a 7yr old cat and so he was scheduled to be euthanized until I adopted him. He was my good and beautiful friend and helped ease the pain of the loss of my husband. Several months ago he became ill. Our vet tried very hard to care for him but he was declining.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 27 - October 3, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Years after the devastating loss of a child, I live a happy, meaningful life once again. Yet the cycle of grief has predictable triggers. The Continuing Cycle of Grief « Alive In Memory

The pandemic is an opportunity to create a new language of mourning. To forge new ritual. How can we honor the dead in the universe of ourselves, of our homes? The Water, the Grief « Los Angeles Review of Books

Pet Loss: PTSD Following Euthanasia Decision?

[Reviewed and updated December 2, 2025]

Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really.  ~ Agnes Sligh Turnbull

A reader writes: After agonizing over this decision, I decided my beloved 16-year-old dog was no longer able to live without suffering, and I had him euthanized at home. This of course was the beginning of absolute anguish for me. Since then I have read alot, gone to grief counseling groups, conferred with a counselor, joined the APLB chatrooms (they suggested I contact your website when I told them that the chatrooms were too upsetting and intensified my pain), written copious diary entries as well as love letters to my dog, and finally, have started reading, responding and communicating with others on your website.

Pet Loss: Why Surrender An Animal To A Shelter?

To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.  ~Jack Kornfield

A reader writes: I have read that pet illness is one of the main reasons why owners decide to surrender their animal to a shelter. Can you provide any insight as to what it takes for an owner to get to that point? Are these owners less committed than other owners? Have fewer resources? One article recommended "defining your priorities and setting realistic goals". How can  a pet caretaker do this, in specific terms?