Walking the Path of Sibling Loss

To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.  ~ Clara Ortega

A reader writes: My older brother and only sibling passed away suddenly at the age of 30. This is selfish, but what I hated most during the funeral and days to follow were people telling me to:

• Take care of my parents.
• Be there for my parents.
• Watch out for my parents.

It was weird; it was like my grief did not/does not exist. I hate the fact that sibling grief is something that is usually not acknowledged. I mean you can usually find more information on parents losing children or children losing parents or even when you lose a pet -- but hardly any information on the feelings of siblings losing siblings.

Resources for Supporting Others Through Anticipatory Grief

 Saying that I was experiencing “anticipatory grief” would not have come close to capturing all the nuances and struggles, unique for me, as it is for everyone. ~ Donna S. Davenport

A colleague writes: I have a request to consult tomorrow with counseling staff at a high school regarding a staff member just diagnosed with a stage four brain tumor. Looking through your rich web site I'm saying to myself, "Articles, and books and messages, oh, my." Can you help me go to materials on anticipatory grieving, or feeling our own mortality/vulnerability, or helping someone cope with a terminal illness?? You may be able to help me sort through so I can go straight to the meat this busy day before I must show up ready to help! Many thanks if you can help at this last moment.

When a Parent Dies: Supporting the Grief of Adolescents

A father is one of God's first gifts to our hearts, and his love stays with us always.  ~ Holly Gerth 

A reader writes: I lost my dad 6 months ago. He had a tumor in his pancreas that was discovered two years before that. He was told he had cancer on my 13th birthday. He had many operations, and cancer treatments like chemotherapy, but after a long struggle he died in a hospice in our city. I live with my mother and my 7-year-old brother. We are happy, but I feel really sad sometimes, because I miss my dad. I was very close to him, and we were very alike in the way we were both mechanical. He was a professor of engineering and he wrote many articles and textbooks. I am very proud of him. I boast about him a lot, and it makes me feel better to know that he did something in his life that was so fantastic – or I think so anyway. It’s just gone past 6 months since he died, and I’m beginning to feel very sad a lot of the time.

Supporting a Survivor of Homicide Loss

Spend 24 hours in my shoes as a victim of gun violence and I guarantee you will never look at guns the same way again.  ~ Bill Jenkins

A reader writes: I lost my significant other of 6 years only 4 months ago. We shared 4 children together and life is just not the same. I can't figure out why I am numb, frozen and slowing down. Things have gotten very hard, I truly don't want to express how hard. The pain I feel is crazy but I keep striving to be positive and to also find a new identity in this process. Nothing is the same.

I started a blog dedicated to him in hopes of finding other women (or anyone) who has lost their partner because I feel very alone in my battle. I wanted to express my feelings truthfully and freely amongst individuals in hopes to connect and help heal. I lost Damian to murder so connecting with people who understand that part as well were my hopes. Id like to hear other stories and also have the wisdom of others as well. Hopefully writing to you can help, but I would love for other women to connect and share their stories as well and hear me vent.

Coping with the Holidays: Suggested Resources 2025

[Updated January 18, 2026]

Self-care is how you take your power back. ~ Lalah Delia

When someone dearly loved has died, we grieve not only for that individual, but also for the life we used to have, the love that special someone gave us and all the memorable times we spent together. Perhaps there is no time of the year when we're more aware of the empty space our beloved has left behind than during the holiday season.

Anticipatory Grief: Staying Present When Loss Is Inevitable

In order to get from what was to what will be, you have to go through what is.  ~ Unknown

A reader writes: My husband has advanced-stage lung cancer, and I have to face the inevitable that he will die soon. It’s been 8 months; we’ve been married for 20 years. I’m sure that it’s normal, but the thoughts that are running through my head are driving me insane. I keep envisioning myself starting relationships with other men. I feel guilty like I’ve already moved on with my life. It’s survival instinct too, because I can’t support my kids on my own and I’m trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I love my husband dearly. I want to be focused on the present. How do I do that?

End of Life Care for Companion Animals

All we animal lovers ever want is to do the best for our animal. When it comes to dying, what is best can be more complex than euthanizing. There is a way to come to peace with the dying process and discover its life enriching value. Animals can teach us about this if we let them. ~ Ella Bittel, Holistic Veterinarian

Coping with the terminal illness of a cherished animal companion presents the same challenges to an animal lover as would anticipating of the death any other family member. Today hospice and palliative care for human beings provides a much needed service to the dying and to those who care for them, but finding such support for a beloved animal close to the end of life can be more difficult.

Reflecting a growing trend toward allowing companion animals a natural death at home, the concept of providing hospice and palliative care for our four-legged friends is similar to that offered for people. The focus is the same: on providing safety and comfort care in loving, familiar surroundings, rather than on aggressive treatment and cure in a hospital setting. Animal hospice is based on a belief that, with proper preparation and guidance for everyone involved, symptoms can be managed, pain can be controlled, and death can be experienced with dignity and compassion. In this way, pet hospice can be an effective alternative to euthanasia.

Loss and The Grief of Abandonment

A reader writes: I was recently informed that my mother has died, and I am grieving. My mother left me when I was a little girl. It hurt. I denied it for 40 years. So far I have attended two different bereavement groups. Both are filled with people who are grieving a loved one. I am not. I do not have a string of memories of our times together to talk about: how she taught me how to bake a pie, helped me plan my wedding, helped me through my divorce, paid for college, took care of my kids while I met my second husband, etc. I do not fit into those groups. They are grieving such a beautiful memory that I’m afraid I will poison their precious period of grief if they hear my story of abandonment. I didn’t have a mother to maintain kinship ties with an extended family. I had an evil stepfather who was remote and distant and lied to me about why my mom was gone: “She left you.”  Read on here >>>

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 6 - April 26, 2025

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this month:

Grief is already a wild, topsy-turvy rollercoaster, but there’s even more loops and drops when you experience it during a Cambridge term. In my third term of first year a relative, who was an instrumental part in my life, unfortunately passed. I think their passing hit particularly hard for two reasons: one being that we were extremely close, and two because it was the first time someone particularly dear to me had passed, the unfamiliarity of it all making it feel a lot worse . . . Coping with Grief at Cambridge « Varsity

Addiction and Substance Abuse in Grief: Suggested Resources

Remember that just because you hit bottom doesn’t mean you have to stay there.  ~ Robert Downey Jr.

Losing a loved one is one of the most painful experiences a person can endure. Grief can feel overwhelming, unpredictable, and deeply isolating. In an attempt to manage the emotional turmoil, some individuals turn to drugs or alcohol as a way to numb the pain, escape reality, or temporarily quiet their thoughts. While substances may provide short-term relief, they often complicate the healing process, leading to dependency, increased emotional distress, and even long-term mental and physical health consequences. Understanding why people use drugs or alcohol to cope with grief, the risks involved, and healthier alternatives for navigating loss is essential in finding a path toward true healing.

Coping with A Cancer Diagnosis: Anticipatory Grief in Caregiving

Understand there’s no right or wrong way to grieve, including anticipatory grief. It’s like the ocean. It ebbs and it flows. There can be moments of calm. But out of nowhere, it can feel like you’re drowning.  ~ Dana Arcuri

A reader writes: I am searching for an online support group for people and/or their loved ones who have been diagnosed with cancer. Three months ago, my husband (54 years old) felt a mass in the left side of his abdomen. Through several different physician referrals it was determined that he had massive splenomegaly. His spleen was removed last month. The pathology report stated he has CLL ~ Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. It is said to be stage 3. This week he will be having a bone marrow aspiration, to determine possible treatment options, if any.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 8 - December 14, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

My heart weighed so heavy in my chest that it felt as if I was drowning. I needed to feel less alone, so I turned to Facebook and asked others to share their experiences of birth trauma. "Are you looking for stories about stillbirth?" one grandmother asked, and that is how The Loss Mother's Stone began. Through 'The Loss Mother's Stone,' mothers share their grief from losing a child to stillbirth « NPR

Death of A Love Relationship: Suggested Resources

When it hurts to stand still next to someone and the only thing you have in common is the past, sometimes the best thing you can do for each other is walk separately towards a future and it’s there you’ll find someone who stays. ~ Kirsten Corley

Whenever there is a loss of something significant in our lives, we suffer grief. When an intimate love relationship ends – whether we were married, living together with a partner or significant other, or committed to another as part of a couple – the separation can be overwhelmingly painful. Usually for a death there is a set ritual with a funeral or memorial service, and some understanding in our culture that mourning is important. But for the death of a love relationship, there is no prescribed ritual of mourning, and the accompanying grief that is part of the divorce / breaking-up process is seldom acknowledged or accepted. The ending of a love relationship is yet another kind of death, and it is just as worthy of our understanding and support. Gathered here are a number of resources that can help.

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 25 - September 7, 2024

September is National Suicide Prevention Month

Best selections from Grief Healing's most recent X feed:   

Children and teens have their unique way of grieving. Loss tends to affect children in different ways than from adults. Depending on their age, experiences, and maturity levels, all children will have a different grief experience from the next. Oftentimes, a child’s grief is overlooked or overshadowed by adults who may be grieving the same loss as in the case of a sibling or a grandparent that has died. 11 Ways to Help a Grieving Child or Teenager « Cake

Dealing with Traumatic Loss: Suggested Resources

There is a light within each of us that need never entirely go out. We can lose the battles, but not the war. We can go on when our minds tell us that there is no point in going on- because something deep inside tells us we can go on. And we do.  ~ A. Powell Davies

A colleague writes: I am wondering if you would send me your best recommendations for dealing with traumatic loss. If you know any activities or rituals that can help a person heal that would be helpful. A coworker is dealing with a traumatic event and has asked for some help. Thanks so much.

Death of An Adult Child: Resources for Bereaved Parents

I don't think of him every day; I think of him every hour of every day. ~ Gregory Peck, in an interview many years after the death of his son

In the ordinary course of events, we parents don't expect to out-live our own grown children. But when an adult child does precede us in death, it shatters our assumptive world and brings us to our knees. It goes against what we perceive to be the natural order of things, and it feels very, very unfair.

At such a sorrowful time, where can bereaved parents turn for understanding, comfort and support?

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 2 - June 15, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week: 

The hardest part of growing up? For me, it has to be watching my parents grow older. There’s this sudden realization that all things are finite and there’s an end to everything. Every time I think about this, the reality hits even harder. Coping With Grief: The Sight Of Parents Growing Old « Her Campus

Coping with The Holidays: Suggested Resources, 2023

[Latest update: January 27, 2024]

People think it’s terribly sad to spend Christmas alone, but it’s no sadder, really, than spending any other day alone, is it?  ~ Paula Hawkins

Once again the holidays are looming, and grief triggers are everywhere, reminding us of all we have lost.  That is why many community agencies offer programs to assist the bereaved, especially at this time of year. Your local hospice, mortuary or healthcare organization will have information about whatever special offerings and services are available to you in your community. In addition, the Internet abounds with all sorts of articles, books and tips that offer creative and practical ways to cope with the holidays.

Children Express Grief Differently from Adults

A child can live with anything as long as he or she is told the truth and is allowed to share with loved ones the natural feelings people have when they are suffering.  ~ Eda LeShan

A reader writes: My grandchild, age 7, lost her mother almost two months ago. The other children have shown some of the "documented" signs of grief, and I understand everyone grieves differently, but I am concerned for her, as she seems to be "begging" for pity much of the time. She has told me more than once that she loves all the spoiling she has been getting as a result of her mother's death.

In Grief: Making Big Decisions After Major Loss

Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful. ~ José N. Harris

A reader writes: Two months ago we lost our 18-year-old son in a traffic accident just two blocks from our home. He was driving alone. We are talking about moving because my wife can't drive by the intersection anymore and does not feel comfortable in the home. I need some advice on the subject of moving. Would this be good, bad, or too soon? Would we regret a move later down the road? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.