Understanding and Managing Grief, July 14 - July 27, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:  

Yes, it is normal to feel crazy after a shattering loss. What I invite you to consider is that it is actually the loss that’s not normal. This loss came along uninvited and turned your life upside-down. Human beings are born to live and love. That’s why we are here. When a life ends, we’re simply not prepared. We can’t be fully prepared, even when a death is anticipated. Why? Because it’s human nature to want and expect life and love to continue. We’re just not made to easily welcome death into our daily lives. You’re Not Crazy – You’re Grieving Pt. 1 « AfterTalk

Death of An Adult Child: Resources for Bereaved Parents

I don't think of him every day; I think of him every hour of every day. ~ Gregory Peck, in an interview many years after the death of his son

In the ordinary course of events, we parents don't expect to out-live our own grown children. But when an adult child does precede us in death, it shatters our assumptive world and brings us to our knees. It goes against what we perceive to be the natural order of things, and it feels very, very unfair.

At such a sorrowful time, where can bereaved parents turn for understanding, comfort and support?

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 19 - February 25, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Everyone's grief is different. Good intentions don't necessarily bring good advice. Giving advice can be a subtle route to power. Why You Can Ignore Advice About Grief « Psychology Today

Coping with The Holidays: Suggested Resources 2019

[Updated January 11, 2020]

A reader writes: I found your site while trying to get help dealing with the death of my sister, my best friend. I am 56, she would have been 54 next month. A monster called cancer killed her slowly and painfully. It will be 2 months next week and I miss her more every day. I don't have a memory of my childhood or adult life that does not include her. I cry more now than when she died.

Coping with The Holidays: Suggested Resources 2018

[Updated February 15, 2019]

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.  ~ David Weatherford

For those who are anticipating or coping with the loss of a loved one, the holidays can be a most challenging time. We may feel exhausted, drowning in sorrow, and  totally out of sync with the rest of the world, wishing that we could find a way to skip entirely these days, along with all those expectations of celebrating, giving thanks, shopping, preparing special meals, decorating, gifting, visiting, and entertaining guests.

Fortunately ~ and especially at this time of year ~ the Internet holds an abundance of information, comfort and support to help us get through these difficult days.

Coping with The Holidays: Suggested Resources 2017

[Most recent update: June 10, 2018]

Coping with loss is even harder during the holidays. What used to be a festive time of decorations and parties — laughter and togetherness — now seems meaningless. We’re paralyzed by the thought of shopping and socializing. How can we continue old traditions like nothing has changed? Because everything has changed . . .  ~ Lynn Sue Cooney

In my daily travels around the Internet, I am always on the lookout for helpful articles and reliable resources that I can recommend and share with my readers. This is especially important during the holiday season, which for many mourners and caregivers can be a difficult and challenging time.

Coping with the Holidays: Suggested Resources 2016

[Most recent update: Tuesday, January 10, 2017]

It's funny to think that Christmas — a time known for its joyful togetherness — can be the loneliest time of the year for some. ~ Giovanna Fletcher

Once again we find ourselves heading into the holiday season, which for many of us can be a stressful and challenging time, especially if we're anticipating or coping with the loss of a loved one. Fortunately the Internet offers access to a variety of useful and reliable resources that can help us find our way through these difficult days. In addition, many community hospices and mortuaries offer programs and workshops to guide and support individuals and families to identify and learn how to manage the mixed and painful emotions that can surface at this time.

As I’ve done in years past, I’ll be looking online for articles, webinars and other reliable resources to recommend to my readers, and each day throughout the holiday season I’ll be posting links to them on this page. Since I am building upon this list on a daily basis, I invite you to check back often to see what’s been added.

Coping With The Holidays: Suggested Resources 2015

Source

[Most recent update: Friday, December 25, 2015]

I watch the happiness of others, quietly resenting the healthy intact families finding joy at their holiday table. A tinge of jealousy sneaks its way to the surface. The holidays present another level of grief.  ~ Julie Siri

In my daily travels around the Internet, I am always on the lookout for helpful articles and reliable resources that I can recommend and share with my readers. This is especially important during the holiday season, which for many mourners and caregivers can be a difficult and challenging time.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 5 - July 11, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What I Wish More People Understood About Losing A Child, http://j.mp/1xifKlI « MindBodyGreen

How to sit with Grief, http://j.mp/1Mi6sc4 « Elephant Journal

How Your Words Can Complicate My Grief, http://j.mp/1TmM7Xp « GriefMinisterDotCom

Caregiving and Hospice, February 22 - February 28, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The cancer metamorphosis is different for each patient, http://j.mp/1DZEL5P « Kevin MD

"I Have Cancer": 48 Things to Do When you Hear Those Words, http://j.mp/1C4std4 « Stan Goldberg, PhD

Compassion and Cancer: Part III-Putting “Meat” on Compassionate Behaviors, http://j.mp/1zlPvoZ « Stan Goldberg, PhD

Coping with the Holidays: Suggested Resources 2014

Source

[Most recent update: Sunday, December 28, 2014]

Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?  ~ Charlie Brown

A reader writes: I'm in a very bad place. Numbness is still huge. But pain is in my heart too. The holidays are weighing on my heart so heavily. It's very hard to get up every day. And very hard to get through very dark long lonely nights. Honestly the only reason I am functioning for the holidays is for my two grandsons. They are the reason I still breathe in and out each day. I look at their faces and they are the reason to keep trying. It's so hard though to put on a smile. It's so hard to breathe in and out. Do you have any special tips on coping with the holiday season?

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 5 - January 11, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Meditation: Helpful to Those Who Grieve, http://j.mp/1ch9a1D « Grief Healing Blog

8 Ways to Cope With Grief during Milestone Events, http://j.mp/Kb38ot « HuffPost Healthy Living

Is it okay to express sympathy on Facebook? http://j.mp/1iYij3B « HuffPost Healthy Living

Caregiving and Hospice, March 3 - March 9, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

ER doctor's perspective on doing CPR on the elderly woman who died, http://j.mp/Y0sGW3

Amid CPR Controversy, Many Unanswered Questions, http://j.mp/XSJVfa « New York Times

5 Ways to Overcome Mid-Life Regret: Tips to deal with could've should've would've, http://buff.ly/XWga9W  « AgingCare.com 

After the Caregiving Ends, http://j.mp/ZiGmf5 « New York Times

Your Death Is Your Headline, http://j.mp/YzOlXq « Anushka Fernandopulle

Coping with the Holidays: Suggested Resources, 2012

Source

If you find special days (holidays, birthdays, death day anniversaries and the like) to be more than you can bear, please know that you are not alone. Support is available! Many community agencies make an extra effort to provide  programs to help you cope with special days, especially at this challenging time of year. Contact your local hospice, funeral home, or healthcare organization to learn what offerings and services are open to you.

In addition, the Internet is a rich and abundant resource where you can find and read any number of articles, books and tips aimed at helping you discover practical and creative ways to get through these difficult days. What follows is a list of links to many such resources ~ and if you know of any not listed that you'd like to see included, please feel free to add them in the Comments section below.

Grief Support Online: An Invitation

Source

[Reviewed and updated February 22, 2024]

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.  ~ Maya Angelou

Surely one of the most painful aspects of losing a loved one to death is that somehow, on top of all our grief, we must tolerate all the insensitive comments and empty platitudes we may hear from friends, relatives and others who think that they are helping us. If they don’t know what to say, they may talk about the weather or some other mundane topic – anything except to discover how we’re doing and how we are coping. Those who are unable to face us may avoid us altogether, as if we no longer exist for them.

Sometimes people say things out of ignorance and inexperience, and we are left feeling angry, frustrated, disgusted and hurt. Stunned with shock and disbelief, we think to ourselves, “How could they say such an awful thing? Don’t they know how much it hurts?” The answer is simply that No, they don’t know, because they haven’t been where we are and they haven’t walked in our shoes.

When An Adult Child Dies: Resources for Bereaved Parents

Find an updated version of this post here: 

Death of An Adult Child: Resources for Bereaved Parents

In the ordinary course of events, we parents don't expect to out-live our own grown children. But when an adult child does precede us in death, it shatters our assumptive world and brings us to our knees. 

Caregiving and Hospice, October 9 - October 15, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Nutrition As We Age, ow.ly/6WzVA by @CaringPeopleInc

• Heartwarming! Pets as Caregivers, http://ow.ly/6Xisn via @susanavello

• Beautifully stated observations on end of life care, http://bit.ly/nIkcvK via @StoryForHealing

• The Double Effect of Aid in Dying, http://huff.to/nmxIAU via @EOLnavigator via @huffingtonpost

• Clearest overview of Medicare hospice payment, http://1.usa.gov/r10sty via @ContinuumHCH and @donaldhtaylorjr

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 3 - October 9

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Bibliotherapy: Book Yourself In - Which life chapter are YOU in? http://bit.ly/dv5tVq via @OneLifeTherapy

• National Day of Healing for Survivors of Suicide Loss, AFSP: Saturday, November 20, shar.es/0Je2i

• Beautiful! Winners of the NHPCO Writing and Photography Contest, http://tinyurl.com/2b7byuj via @AliveHospice

• What to Say after a Loss, http://ow.ly/2PqUD via @StoryForHealing

• Books to Help Children Cope with Death and Grief, http://bit.ly/cFtnB4 See also Books for Children and Those Who Love Them, http://bit.ly/av8KBi

• Workplace Bereavement Oct 12 Webinar, http://bit.ly/cHOjNO by @Joannefunch

• They Grow Up So Fast: What He's Missed, http://bit.ly/bkKqEN via @Freshwidow @califmom

• Suicide: So many questions. If you have lost someone, http://bit.ly/cOk38w via @afspnational

• The grief of bullycide, by David Kessler, CNN.com http://bit.ly/cIzuCV

• My Friend Time by Jim Santucci, a fellow grieving dad, http://bit.ly/c3e0OB via @GrievingDads

• How to Choose a Good Therapist, by MJ Hurley Brant, http://bit.ly/dtdpGY

• Faith and Healing from Grief, http://bit.ly/auD4pw by @Joannefunch

• Finding Reliable Grief Information and Support on the Internet, http://bit.ly/cXOoTx

Grieving Children and Adolescents: The Role of Internet Support

As part of its effort to explore how children and adolescents can use the Internet as an additional source of information and support for grief, Hospice Foundation of America will offer an online Webinar, Grieving Children and Adolescents: The Role of Internet Support on Tuesday, June 15, 2010, from 1:00 to 2:30 PM Eastern Time.  Panelists Pamela Gabbay and Cendra Lynn will discuss advantages and disadvantages of utilizing the Internet for bereavement support, as well as innovative strategies for using this technology for education, ritual and support in a monitored, safe way. Registration is open to both individuals and to organizations.

Hospice and Palliative Care Blogs

In his generous effort to help providers and consumers of hospice and palliative care to find and connect with one another, Pallimed Co-Editor Christian Sinclair has posted his Updated List of Hospice and Palliative Care Blogs.  If you're not familiar with Dr. Sinclair’s enthusiasm for using the power of social networks to advocate for patients and families in hospice and palliative care, take a look at his slide show  depicting “how the hospice and palliative medicine field rallied to help overturn a FDA ruling that would have severely limited access to morphine, an essential medicine for pain control.”