Finding Comfort, Connection and Hope in a Grief Support Group

A knowledge that another has felt as we have felt, and seen things not much otherwise than we have seen them, will continue to the end to be one of life’s choicest blessings.  ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

A reader writes: Today is exactly two months since my husband died. I have been crying since Sunday, after my son and his fiancé left. I can't seem to find any joy in anything. Two of our children are getting married, I have a new grandchild on the way, there is so much happy stuff going on, and I just want to cry. Maybe I’ve been trying to be brave. Nobody likes a downer, but damn it, I feel like a downer. I just saw an ad in the newspaper for a grief group that’s starting this month, and I really feel I need this. I have never been one to join a group, but this is more then I can deal with. Do these groups really help? There are six sessions, all dealing with different steps. Is it worth trying? Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 9 - February 15, 2025

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week: 

While there's no single right way to navigate loss, for many, having support from others can make the grieving process a bit easier, research shows. A 2020 review analyzed over a dozen studies on bereavement groups for grief and depression symptoms. The findings showed that bereavement groups were slightly more effective than control groups immediately after treatment, meaning they provided some short-term relief for grief and depression symptoms. Group support might help you cope with grief, data shows « Cheny Free Press

Blessings Bring Comfort and Peace

Source

By Hal Walzer

[Editor's Note: This year marks the 40th anniversary of National Volunteer Week (April 6 through 12), intended to inspire, recognize and encourage people to seek out imaginative ways to engage in their communities. This guest post is written by one such dedicated volunteer.]

Be of service. Whether you make yourself available to a friend or co-worker, or you make time every month to do volunteer work, there is nothing that harvests more of a feeling of empowerment than being of service to someone in need.  ~ Gillian Anderson

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 22 - September 28, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

ONLINE GRIEF FORUMS: AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT http://j.mp/1dPnNsj « Grief Healing Blog

When Does Grief End? http://j.mp/16GsAWU « Fredda Wasserman, Huffington Post

Favorite articles from this week featuring Grief Healing, Huffington Post and The Atlantic, http://wp.me/p2KrvU-1ln « What's Your Grief?

ONLINE GRIEF FORUMS: AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

ABOUT OUR ONLINE GRIEF DISCUSSION GROUPS

As some of you may know, hospices across the country are experiencing the chilling effects of a combination of unwelcome events (including a nationwide decrease in hospice admissions, increased government scrutiny of hospice programs via audits, cuts in Medicare reimbursement, and pending implementation of the Affordable Care Act). To keep itself financially healthy, Hospice of the Valley has responded by cutting costs wherever possible. In recent days, departments have been reorganized, functions have been consolidated, a number of positions have been eliminated, and a significant number of staff have been let go.

Voices of Experience: The Fire Circle of Healing

The following is a warm and personal gift from guest blogger Mary Friedel-Hunt, MA, LCSW:

Shortly after my husband and beloved soulmate Bill died in 2010, I scouted the Internet looking for a solid, well moderated grief support group. I live in a rural town where in-person grief support groups are hard to come by. I am also a psychotherapist, and it was important to me that the group reflect the professional quality and integrity I had practiced in my own clinic for almost 40 years. 

After checking out many sites, I came upon the on-line grief support group sponsored by Hospice of the Valley. 

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 19 - May 25, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Is Criticism of DSM-5 'Anti-psychiatry'? huff.to/18bVAf4 « Huffington Post

“Now You’re a Soldier” http://t.co/CN6RyopvGI « FriendGrief

Helpful! When Kids Can't Remember Someone Who Died, http://j.mp/Z5fALk « What's Your Grief?

Bereaved teens face hidden challenges,  http://j.mp/14WtKis « Hospice of the Valley

The impact of grief on you and the family, http://j.mp/133QOuv « Hospice of the Bluegrass

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 18 - November 24, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Strengthen Your Spiritual Link As You Mourn The Death Of Your Loved One, http://j.mp/ShyhIc

New bereavement support standards for palliative care services in Victoria (pdf), http://bit.ly/10m5LIA @LDMatters via @tweet_acgb

Absolutely stunning: The Poetry of Sandy « Art Beat | PBS NewsHour | PBS, http://j.mp/TleffS

Terrific film review: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel  http://j.mp/UjdJzB « The Family Plot Blog

For That, I Am Thankful,  http://j.mp/XDjlbR « Grief Healing Blog

Grief Support Groups: What Are the Benefits?

A reader writes: Today is exactly two months since my husband died. I have been crying since Sunday, after my son and his fiancé left. I can't seem to find any joy in anything. Two of our children are getting married, I have a new grandchild on the way, there is so much happy stuff going on, and I just want to cry. Maybe I’ve been trying to be brave. Nobody likes a downer, but damn it, I feel like a downer. I just saw an ad in the newspaper for a grief group that’s starting this month, and I really feel I need this. I have never been one to join a group, but this is more then I can deal with. Do these groups really help? There are six sessions, all dealing with different steps. Is it worth trying? Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.  Read on here >>>

Caregiving and Hospice, October 28 - November 3, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• How to Reach Out During National Family Caregivers Month, http://bit.ly/SC0oRX @Caring via @VoiceQuilt
  
  
• Patient with difficulty swallowing pills? Check out these tips, http://j.mp/QbRUTa via @MedStarVNA
  
  
• Comfort. Love. Respect. Hospice Month Proclamation, http://j.mp/PLMH4o « National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization
  
  
• "Not eating at the end of life is a normal part of the dying process.We have forgotten that," http://bit.ly/QYWQHT
  
  
• Beautiful! "We don’t die inhaling…" about leaving this life, http://j.mp/Psamp6 by hospice nurse @AmyGetter

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 28 - November 3, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Free for bereaved families, 8-9 pm EST Wednesday, November 7, 2012 on Handling the Holidays. Register here: http://tinyurl.com/TCFWebinars, from @AliceaMom via @tcfofusa
  
  
• For anyone grieving or helping their kids through grief, http://wp.me/p1Eh1s-RX
  
  
• Updated: Tips for Coping with Sleeplessness in Grief, http://j.mp/hkoXnZ « Grief Healing Blog
  
  
• Helpful! Daily Requirements for Coping With the Death of a Loved One, http://j.mp/SfAAIK
  
  
• Light Up A Life will be on Sunday, November 18 at Hospice of the Valley in Phoenix AZ, http://j.mp/SskTPi

Seeing a Specialist in Grief Counseling: Does It Matter?

Find the latest version of this post here:

Seeing A Specialist in Grief Counseling: Why It Matters

A reader writes: I’ve been suffering from depression for a long time and am under the care of a psychiatrist. I went to see my doctor for the first time since my father died and was a complete wreck since I had to re-tell what happened. I was crying because it's hard to talk about Dad's sudden downfall and last day, but my psychiatrist seemed to think that I was being overly emotional. I tried to tell him that I'm not upset every day and that I didn't think that my sadness less than five months after Dad's death was abnormal. I did confess to doing some stupid things immediately after he passed and how hard some things have been, but I walked out of his office feeling like I should be over it. Read on here >>>

Grief Support: When Others Fail to Meet Our Expectations

[Reviewed and updated April 7, 2024]

At the moment, take heart from those around you who want to care for you and be present for you in your distress. They don't always know how, they don't always do it right, but they try. Sorrow is a matter of taking turns. This year, it's yours. Next year, it might be you setting the table for someone else who feels that they cannot cope. ~ Deidre Felton, in Bereavement Magazine, November/December 2000.

In an earlier post I shared the observation that, no matter how good their intentions, people may find it difficult to know what to say or do when we are struggling with the loss of a beloved family pet. But what happens when we’re anticipating or coping with the death of a person dearly loved?

Caregiving and Hospice, September 30 - October 6, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Palliative care is not the same as hospice, http://ow.ly/earjG via @AHHCNC
  
  
• Hospice of the Valley nurse recognized for work in LGBT community, http://bit.ly/QvbHt6 via @hospicepharmacy
  
  
• Hospice Awareness Campaign launches in Nebraska, http://j.mp/UFPCIl
  
  
• Wisconsin men's end-of-life documentary makes waves, http://j.mp/QsgefO
  
  
• 9 Organizations Every Caregiver Should Know, http://j.mp/UEhSLo « Caring.com

Caregiving and Hospice, August 26 - September 1, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Terri Cole: Getting Fearless About Death and Dying (VIDEO), http://j.mp/O2YIRX 

• What caregiving services can I find in my community? http://j.mp/QO3ym6 « Sharecare

• Booklet, Hospice Care Conversation Starters: A Guide to Introducing Hospice, http://j.mp/PU4gNi free download « Halcyon Hospice 

• Very helpful! Death Wish: Dealing With a Negative, High-Maintenance, Aging Parent, http://j.mp/N3QpE4

• Hospice of the Valley's Dementia Program, http://j.mp/QYmnO8 « YouTube

Grief Support Online: An Invitation

Source

[Reviewed and updated February 22, 2024]

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.  ~ Maya Angelou

Surely one of the most painful aspects of losing a loved one to death is that somehow, on top of all our grief, we must tolerate all the insensitive comments and empty platitudes we may hear from friends, relatives and others who think that they are helping us. If they don’t know what to say, they may talk about the weather or some other mundane topic – anything except to discover how we’re doing and how we are coping. Those who are unable to face us may avoid us altogether, as if we no longer exist for them.

Sometimes people say things out of ignorance and inexperience, and we are left feeling angry, frustrated, disgusted and hurt. Stunned with shock and disbelief, we think to ourselves, “How could they say such an awful thing? Don’t they know how much it hurts?” The answer is simply that No, they don’t know, because they haven’t been where we are and they haven’t walked in our shoes.

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 29 - May 5, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Nightmares and Bad Dreams in Grief, http://shar.es/2cd0Y via @TheGriefToolbox
  
  
• Devastation leads to opportunity: Cracking the World Wide Open, http://j.mp/JjDKHq by WidowChick
  
  
• Beautiful. "Love is in the Details," http://j.mp/JjDsAg by FriendGrief
  
  
• Experience counts: The Widows' Bond: Duct Tape Meets Its Match, http://j.mp/JjD199
  
  
• The club no one wanted to join: Widow's Voice, Not Very Private, http://j.mp/Iz0sfB
  
  
• Excellent! Grief Digest Magazine: Negotiating the Ever-Changing Currents of Grief, http://j.mp/IyY1tp
  
  
• Why Every Girl Needs a Dog, http://j.mp/K2jsEo
  
  
• Fantastic Hospice of the Valley resource: Explaining Funerals to Your Children, http://bit.ly/IEvM0e via @ctsinclair
  
  
• Tween mourns death of best friend, http://j.mp/I8yCph by Marty Tousley
  
  
• When You’re Feeling Gloomy, Encouragement Is a Lifeline! http://j.mp/IrmkuI by Stunned By Grief
  
  
• Great post! Competing Over Grief, http://j.mp/IHt83o by @karlsprague via @Victoria_Noe
  
  
• Dealing with Nightmares and Bad Dreams in Grief, http://j.mp/JMoQwV
  
  
• Excellent piece: When grief feels like a competition, http://j.mp/IwexwE
  
  
• Men Grieving Their Friends, http://ht.ly/azXyN from @TheGriefToolbox via @GoodMenProject
  

Caregiving and Hospice, April 8 - April 14, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Choosing an elder care mediator: Very important in caregiving, http://aarp.us/HUyfww via @AARPFamily
  
  
• Yes! Biting Of The Tongue Therapy (BOTT) and how to use it, http://huff.to/HAsDIn by @NurseBarbDehn
  
  
• Insightful piece in Chicago Tribune about hospice, http://fb.me/10X4RXaNj via @NHPCO_news
  
  
• Reconnecting Through Art, http://j.mp/IN5JxJ via NY Times
  
  
• The Alzheimers Project: HBO Documentary, http://j.mp/IN57Ii via Pallimed

Caregiving and Hospice, January 8 - January 14, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Saying no to your oncologist is sometimes the right thing to do, http://bit.ly/rEBuYY RT @AlithiaCarol
  
  
• On what is really important in life, http://awe.sm/5dR2O by@LiaLondon1RT via @ShelleyWebbRN
  
  
• Helping employees with caregiving, http://bit.ly/AysrIm
  
  
• Some companies are doing it right! via @ShelleyWebbRN
  
  
• Preparing Your Home For Alzheimers Caregiving, http://bit.ly/AFaiVD via @ClickForFitness

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 4 - December 10, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• In this touching video, a widow eulogizes her "beautifully imperfect" husband, http://j.mp/vCvmdb
  
  
• Grief: Counting the Days, Weeks, Months « Bertram's Blog, j.mp/skCTs7
  
  
• When There Is No Jingle In The Bells - Grief Healing Discussion Groups, http://j.mp/v5OWVE
  
  
• Blogs (and Books) for Bereaved Parents http://j.mp/v577pf
  
  
• Understanding Secondary Losses In Grief - Grief Healing Discussion Groups, http://j.mp/sfnbWR