In Grief: What to Do With Cremation Ashes?

[Reviewed and updated July 13, 2019]

The kind of "blind obedience" once theologized as the ultimate step to holiness, is itself blind. It blinds a person to the insights and foresight and moral perspective of anyone other than an authority figure.  ~ Sister Joan D. Chittister, OSB

Recently I came upon a Facebook post linking the reader to an article entitled Vatican: No more scattering of cremation ashes. The article describes the Vatican's recently published (but long held) guidelines for Roman Catholics who wish to be cremated, noting that cremation ashes are not to be scattered, divided up among family members or kept at home. Instead, they are to be stored in a place the church approves as a "sacred place."

The angry responses generated by the post reminded me of an exchange I had a while ago with a member of our online Grief Healing Discussion Groups:

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 23 - October 29, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Good Grief, Halloween! (It’s Not All Good), http://bit.ly/2frHh0D « What to Say When Someone Dies

Halloween and Holy Days, http://bit.ly/2eVGRgg « Widower's Grief

Grieving Inside the Waiting Room vs Outside, http://j.mp/2eY0GmC « Christina Rasmussen

Coping with Pet Loss, October 23 - October 29, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Short Film Captures Grief and Longing of Pet Loss, http://bit.ly/2ff9atv « Dogster

Curious Cats Get Killed in Clothes Dryers, http://bit.ly/2extG6X « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Pet Loss: Curious Cats Get Killed in Clothes Dryers

Source

[Reviewed and updated August 11, 2024]

Accidents happen. Our bones shatter, our skin splits, our hearts break. We burn, we drown, we stay alive.~ Moïra Fowley-Doyle

Nothing hurts my heart more than hearing from an animal lover whose cherished companion animal has died in an accident that could have been prevented. In my many years of moderating an online pet loss forum, far too often I have heard from pet parents whose precious cat or kitten has died after being trapped in a clothes washer or dryer. Losing a beloved animal in such a horrific way leaves a person with gruesome images and devastating feelings of grief, guilt and remorse.

Caregiving and Hospice, October 16 - October 22, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Book: LGBTQ-Inclusive Hospice and Palliative Care http://amzn.to/2dvweOg « Columbia University Press

How Palliative Care Can Help You, http://bit.ly/2eisFOV « Get Palliative Care

Study Confirms Benefits of Early Palliative Care, http://bit.ly/2dqyR3S « National Cancer Institute

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 16 - October 22, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

10 comprehensive tips for talking to kids about grief and death, http://j.mp/2dzXeQb « What's Your Grief?

When Everyday Objects Become Sacred, http://j.mp/2eBKsDc « Seven Ponds Blog

you were loved. http://j.mp/2eiIkAE « Refuge In Grief

Coping with Pet Loss, October 16 - October 22, 2016

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Making Animal Hospice a Reality, http://j.mp/2e5OUau « The Grey Muzzle Organization

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

In Grief: After Caregiving Ends, Who Am I?

Source

[Reviewed and Updated May 11, 2023]

Alongside the hole left by losing a loved one, a caregiver may be surprised to feel a different kind of loss: a foundering sense of purpose. It makes sense -- caregiving can be so consuming and can require such hard-won expertise that it can be difficult to regain a footing in "normal life" afterward. ~ Paula Spencer Scott

A reader writes: My mother died 2 weeks ago. I had been her caregiver for 21 years. I don't know what to do or how to live. Everything I did was based on what was best for Mom. In the last couple of years, as Mom began to weaken, I became so depressed. I would care for Mom but neglected housework and yard work. I was always too tired. Now, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want....but I don't know where to begin . . . all of this stuff just makes me so tired. I just want to sleep or watch TV. Is this normal grieving? How do I shake myself out of this non-productive funk?

Caregiving and Hospice, October 9 - October 15, 2016

Stan Goldberg on ‘Loving, Supporting, and Caring for the Cancer Patient,’ http://j.mp/2e85e8t « Blog Critics

Caregiver Remorse: 3 Ways to Find Peace, http://j.mp/2e5Uw7q « Open to Hope

Ain't The Way To Die, http://j.mp/1MtTASL « ZDogg MD

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 9 - October 15, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

3 Reasons To Let Yourself Feel Your Emotions, http://j.mp/2df191f « Huffington Post

“In My Pocket” by Kelly Farley, http://bit.ly/2ekx5XX « Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back

Disenfranchised Grief: Stop Judging, Start Accepting, http://j.mp/2dKVrbs « Grief In Common

In Grief: Terminating A Counseling Relationship

Find the latest version of this post here: 

In Grief: When A Counseling Relationship Is Ending

A reader writes: My situation isn't really typical of the reasons most people join your forums, but I am experiencing terrible grief and it's not something I can talk to anyone about because most people don't recognize or understand it. I feel incredibly alone.

I've seen a counselor for coming up to three years and she has helped me through some of the most difficult times of my life. I have a tough life with a long-term illness and I have a disabled child so I feel really isolated. I've been fortunate enough to see my counselor free at an agency and I feel really close to her. I'm not close to my family at all as I had a tough upbringing and I don't see my friends very often. I'm a single parent since my marriage broke down 5 years ago.

My counselor told me 4 weeks ago that she is leaving the agency due to personal circumstances.

Caregiving and Hospice, October 2 - October 8, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

"If They Would Just Eat, Everything Would Be Better," http://bit.ly/2dzh4KK « Barbara Karnes RN

Hospice care: The best man for the job is a dog, http://j.mp/2dp1sNc « The Irish Times

Madness! The interference in health care is mesmerizing, http://j.mp/2cO2MrC « Kevin MD

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 2 - October 8, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

6 Vital Ways Dogs Make Life Better! http://j.mp/2dXW67q « The Huffington Post

Grief Before and After the Storm, http://bit.ly/2e9Yo6p « What to Say When Someone Dies

The 'O' Word that Hits Grievers—and What to Do about It, http://j.mp/2dP9u1f « Stunned By Grief

Grief Healing Earns HONcode Certification

I am pleased to report that for the sixth straight year, both the Grief Healing Blog and the Grief Healing Discussion Groups websites have demonstrated full adherence to Health on the Net Foundation’s high HONcode standards. As a result, both sites have earned HONcode certification, which entitles us to continue displaying the HONcode seal on the sites’ home pages through September 2017.

Health On the Net (HON) was founded to encourage the dissemination of quality health information for patients and professionals, and to facilitate access to the latest and most relevant medical data through the use of the Internet. The Health On the Net (HON) Foundation is a non-governmental organization, internationally known for its pioneering work in the field of health information ethics, notably for the establishment of its code of ethical conduct, the HONcode—the oldest and most trusted code for medical and health-related information available on the Internet.

Caregiving and Hospice, September 25 - October 1, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

End-of-Life Care Needs an Overhaul, http://j.mp/2dgzpNo « TIME

Who’s In Your Care Crew? http://j.mp/2dfjjDV « The Unprepared Caregiver

Suicide: Only cause of Top 10 U.S. deaths that's rising, http://j.mp/2dCNRNX « Miami Herald

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 25 - October 1, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Uninvited Guest: Making Room for Grief, http://j.mp/2cIXcEU « WhatsYourGrief?

Grief Healing: Where Did You Get That Name? http://j.mp/2daLjHr « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Coping with Pet Loss, September 25 - October 1, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

I wrote a thing last night about feelings I've been feeling. On Grief and Hamilton, http://bit.ly/2dGoN8A  « Samantha Joyce

What I Learned from Sprinkles, http://bit.ly/2d4ee11 « Moody Speaks

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.