Voices of Experience: How Grief Can Affect Your Health

For those of you who struggle with guilt regarding self-care, answer this question: What greater gift can you give to those you love than your own wholeness? ~ Shannon Tanner

A Reflection on Self-Care, by Anne M. Gorman

There is no escaping it. Our immune systems take on the blows of grief. It’s not bad enough that we are brought to our knees when we lose a loved one but many have to suffer the devastation of a second loss and that is our own health.

My first reaction to this is WHY? I know there isn’t an answer to that question.

I am a good person. I never thought about what self-care meant for I always took care of myself. As I cared for my dying husband I attended to him as best as I knew how. I did all the things I needed to do to help him as he took his final journey of life except care for myself.

Caregiving and Hospice, August 23 - August 29, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Must read: What to say to the dying: A hospice chaplain offers some insight, http://j.mp/1fOh33D « ehospice

Why Haven't They Been Listening? An Interview with Zubin Damania, MD aka ZDoggMD, http://j.mp/1JDKS2V « Pallimed

Atul Gawande on America’s urgent need to rethink end-of-life care, http://j.mp/1Il3gIP « The Dallas Morning News

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 23 - August 29, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Overdose Awareness Day, 2015, http://j.mp/1F0pCz7 « What's Your Grief?

Say Their Names: On Recovering After the Loss of a Child, http://j.mp/1MR9Ywt « Seven Ponds Blog

Pets pick up on cues to comfort the dying and grieving, http://j.mp/1Jnw8ny « The Orange County Register

Mother Loss: When Can I Think of Her Without Crying?

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.  ~ Washington Irving

A reader writes: I just wish for the day when I can think of my mom without crying. Why does it seem to last for so long? It’s been five months since my mom passed and I still can’t think of her without bawling. I’ve been very depressed lately and some days are better than others, but it often feels as if I’m on a roller-coaster. I just want to keep it together for my daughter; I don’t like falling apart in front of her.

Caregiving and Hospice, August 16 - August 22, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Lies of Hospice Patients, http://j.mp/1MDdUAS « Pallimed

5 ways to help loved ones adjust to Chronic Illness, http://j.mp/1Jatm4S « About Health

Choice and Control at the End of Life – The 3 Wishes Project, http://j.mp/1PoE8Gj « GeriPal

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 16 - August 22, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Interview: How Do You Recover After the Loss of a Child? http://j.mp/1NC4N3Y « Seven Ponds Blog

Irish singer's moving video about grief will make you weep, http://j.mp/1Jpx4sP « SheKnows

Understanding the Grief of Suicide, http://j.mp/1PqhCNi « HuffPost Living Canada

Coping with Cumulative Losses: Personal vs. Professional

It never rains but it pours.  ~ Old English Proverb

A reader writes: I don’t know where or how to start. I lost a beloved dog a month ago. My other dog is critically ill. I lost a very good friend earlier this year. I am also feeling enormous grief and guilt over the loss of another dog who was killed by a car.
          I am an RN so maybe you can relate a little. I was in critical care for many years and then worked in oncology and hospice. Most of my patients either died suddenly or suffered and eventually died. My involvement with significant others and family members was extensive. I attended many deaths in the course of my career.

Caregiving and Hospice, August 9 - August 15, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

In the face of serious illness: Don't Say Nothing,  http://j.mp/1P4pzHL « Modern Loss

Signs of approaching death, http://j.mp/1hvyIid « Barbara Karnes, RN

In healthcare, focus on patient safety instead of patient satisfaction, http://j.mp/1EjUz0S « Kevin MD

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Understanding and Managing Grief, August 9 - August 15, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Happily ever after: The Big Lie, http://j.mp/1Nac63G « Alive in Memory

Sharing Grief Across Species Lines, http://j.mp/1TFrHHt « NPR

When An Adult Child Dies: Resources for Bereaved Parents, http://j.mp/1LaDbR5 « Grief Healing

In Grief: Ashamed To Share Negative Feelings In An Online Forum

Don't push the river, it flows by itself.  ~ Chinese Proverb

[Note to readers: Permission to share the following exchange with all of you has been granted by the person who wrote to me.]

A reader writes: I was going to post this on our [online Grief Healing Discussion Groups] forum, but it’s such a downer and people posting these days all seem so upbeat that I didn’t want to throw this post in right now. I do need to put it out there just so I know someone hears me. I hope you don’t mind. You’re it. I’m not looking for feedback – just an ear and an understanding heart.
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