Keeping the Secret of A Terminal Prognosis

If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.  ~ George Orwell in 1984

A reader writes: I am married and the mother of three children. I have been told by my doctors that I have a rare and terminal illness. My husband and children love me and need me, and they do not know that I am dying because I cannot tell them. How can I tell the ones who count on me that I won’t be here for them? How can I tell them that I brought them into the world with love and tears, and now I’m leaving? My husband and children don’t know. I won’t let them know.

Caregiving and Hospice, April 13 - April 19, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

House calls are making a comeback, « Milt Freudenheim via The New York Times

Death and doctors who don’t want to talk about it, « Best Endings

What to do when the doc won’t refer to hospice, « Monica Williams-Murphy, MD via It's OK to Die

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 13 - April 19, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Encountering Grief: A 10-Minute Guided Meditation with Joan Halifax « On Being

Lovely series: Grief Counseling and Music as Medicine, « YouTube

3 Things in Life Are Certain — How Do You Respond to #3? « Judy Brizendine via Stunned By Grief

Children Grieve Too, But Not The Same As Adults

A child can live with anything as long as he or she is told the truth and is allowed to share with loved ones the natural feelings people have when they are suffering.  ~ Eda LeShan

A reader writes: My grandchild, age 7, lost her mother almost two months ago. The other children have shown some of the "documented" signs of grief, and I understand everyone grieves differently, but I am concerned for her, as she seems to be "begging" for pity much of the time. She has told me more than once that she loves all the spoiling she has been getting as a result of her mother's death.

Caregiving and Hospice, April 6 - April 12, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Doctors need to come face-to-face with death to care for those who are dying, « The Conversation

Terminally ill: Wounded by the Language of War « The New York Times

Must read! Medicare hospice payment reform: not seeing eye to eye,  GeriPal

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 6 - April 12, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Walking With Those Who Grieve, « Personal Growth and Grief Support Center

The Media Overload Detox Diet, « What's Your Grief?

Lessons learned from loss of a parent: My Graduate, « Widow's Voice

Blessings Bring Comfort and Peace

By Hal Walzer

[Editor's Note: This year marks the 40th anniversary of National Volunteer Week (April 6 through 12), intended to inspire, recognize and encourage people to seek out imaginative ways to engage in their communities. This guest post is written by one such dedicated volunteer.]

Be of service. Whether you make yourself available to a friend or co-worker, or you make time every month to do volunteer work, there is nothing that harvests more of a feeling of empowerment than being of service to someone in need.  ~ Gillian Anderson

Caregiving and Hospice, March 30 - April 5, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The need to stay strong through hospice, « Caring with Confidence

Brilliant! Geriatrics and Palliative Care Consults via Twitter! « GeriPal Blog

When it's time to die: National Institutes of Health offers end-of-life resources, « The Oregonian   
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Understanding and Managing Grief, March 30 - April 5, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How Can Afterlife Communication Aid The Grieving Process? An Interview With Terri Daniel, « Seven Ponds Blog

Metamorphosis: Reflections on the process of grief, « Personal Growth and Grief Support Center

Mother Loss: When Will the Crying Stop? Q & A by Grief Counselor, « Self-Healing Expressions

Is Losing A Grandmother Easier than Losing A Sister?

Sisters are different flowers from the same garden. ~ Unknown

A reader writes: My sister died two months ago. She was only 35 years old. It still seems impossible. She is the baby out of ten of us and she also leaves behind 3 young children and her husband. She was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago. Every time I drive the Interstate I re-live the drive to the hospital when I got the call that she had been taken from home in an ambulance. I remember praying to God that she was OK. I remember feeling that she was already gone. When they told me she "had passed," I had to see for myself.
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