Sibling Loss: When Grief Goes Unacknowledged

To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.  ~ Clara Ortega

A reader writes: My older brother and only sibling passed away suddenly at the age of 30. This is selfish, but what I hated most during the funeral and days to follow were people telling me to:
  • Take care of my parents.
  • Be there for my parents.
  • Watch out for my parents.
It was weird; it was like my grief did not/does not exist. I hate the fact that sibling grief is something that is usually not acknowledged. I mean you can usually find more information on parents losing children or children losing parents or even when you lose a pet -- but hardly any information on the feelings of siblings losing siblings.

Caregiving and Hospice, May 17 - May 23, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Email to Jeb Bush: What He (and All of Us) Can Do in the Fight Against Alzheimer's, http://j.mp/1el7fy6 « Maria Shriver

Dying Matters for Friends, Too, http://j.mp/1F6mWje « Victoria Noe

Teenage Angst and Suicide: Don’t Blame Parents, http://j.mp/1Hz70Jq « Bob Livingstone, LCSW

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 17 - May 23, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Elaine Stillwell: Thinking Positively, http://j.mp/1Llielo « Grief Digest Magazine

Picking Up the Scraps, http://j.mp/1BgNz39 « Widower's Grief

Book Review: The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ageshttp://j.mp/1JHy2Ap « Seven Ponds Blog

Coping with Pet Loss, May 17 - May 23, 2015

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Demand for pet hospice care grows, http://j.mp/1c9rywy « BlueRidgeNow.com

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Guilt And Regret Following The Death of a Friend

Source
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.  ~ Maria Robinson

A reader writes: Do you have any articles or can you suggest a book that will be helpful to me? I lost a long time friend. We had some unresolved conflict caused by me. I was unable to be with her during the past 2 years as she fought cancer. She shut me out. I deserved it. I am grieving the loss, the lack of closure, and guilt. It is hell. Can you point me to some help? Please?

My response: I’m so sorry to learn of the death of your friend, and of course there is nothing I can say to erase the load of guilt that you are carrying around with you in the wake of your loss. In the end, the only one who can forgive you is you, as I'm sure you already know.

I certainly can tell you that guilt is one of the most common reactions in loss – guilt for what you may have done or failed to say or do.

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 10 - May 16, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Film Review: Up (2009), http://j.mp/1cF7lj1 « SevenPonds Blog

Heart wrenching: Dying With Dignity, http://j.mp/1EDPEYr « HuffPost Healthy Living

Fallout From A Suicide Can Touch Everyone Who Is Exposed, http://j.mp/1F8o8Vn « Grief after Suicide

Caregiving and Hospice, May 10 - May 16, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Assisted-suicide debate puts palliative, hospice care in spotlight, http://j.mp/1ENzUkK « Modern Healthcare

Interview: How Do Caregivers Enjoy Time with Alzheimer's Patients? http://j.mp/1HjItYz « Seven Ponds Blog

Overkill: America’s Epidemic of Unnecessary Care - Atul Gawande, http://j.mp/1JJeae4 « The New Yorker

Voices of Experience: The Ring

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By Harry Proudfoot

Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity ~ Traditional Wedding Rite

I walked off a cliff yesterday afternoon--and I didn't fall.

Jane didn't want to be buried with her wedding or engagement rings. She insisted I take them off when she died. And I did that. I told her that when she died, I would move my own wedding ring from my left hand to my right after I took her wedding ring off her finger. I didn't do that--until yesterday, the 52 month anniversary of her death.

Caregiving and Hospice, May 3 - May 9, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Thickened Liquid Challenge on Making Sense of Alzheimer's, http://j.mp/1IrBGxB « GeriPal

Heartwarmer! Watchdog Cat Looks After Hospice Patient, http://j.mp/1Eo5xBj « WHOtv.com

The Need for Stability Part II: Its Role in Chronic and Progressive Illnesses, http://j.mp/1zBbUoO
« Stan Goldberg, PhD

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 3 - May 9, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Coping with Grief on Mother’s Day: Selected Resources, http://j.mp/1FIpvMj « Grief Healing Blog

 A widower exclaims: I AM NOT A MOTHER !! http://j.mp/1zOytq9 « The Grief Toolbox

List of The Best Online Support Forums Includes Grief Healing! http://bit.ly/qprgrfrs « Qeepr Blog
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