Resources for Young Widow(er)s

Source
There’s a tendency to picture widowhood as a consequence of old age, yet about one-third of widows lose their spouse before age 45. Widowhood is not something young women are prepared for, and they suffer post-traumatic stress disorder to some degree. ~ Gwen Peterson, president of Hope for Widows

A reader writes: Next month on the 8th it will have been two years since my husband died and I have to admit it still hurts horribly. I don't feel crazy anymore and I guess it is a bit less sharp...but it still hurts every day. I still cry at every anniversary and holiday. I still need to sleep with his shirt at night and I still ache for just one more hug. Will this ever stop hurting? I am 36 years old and I miss being in a relationship. Sometimes I think about dating again in the future, but I still feel like my husband's wife and the thought of loving another man feels so alien. Next week he will have been dead longer than we were together. The total sum of our relationship together was one year, eleven months and four days....and then he died. In two days he will have been gone for one year and eleven months. I hate that I am reaching this milestone. I have moved back to my home state to stay with my parents who are taking care of my baby since I am such a mess. I just wonder: Are there are any young widows blogging out there? New single moms? I have not connected to anyone and I really feel alone in this reality I am in.

My response: My dear, I'm so very sorry to learn of the death of your dear husband; please accept my heartfelt sympathy for your loss. You've asked about young widows blogging, and I want you (and others reading this) to know about some wonderful resources aimed specifically at young widows and widowers:

Blogs and Websites 

A Widow’s Pursuit

Fresh Widow (including My huge list of blogs by widowed people )

Get Your Shit Together: Life and Death Planning

Griefnet.org

Grief Speaks Out on Facebook

Hope for Widows

Memoirs from Widow Island

Refuge in Grief

Single Fathers Due to Cancer

Soaring Spirits International

Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation on Facebook

TheWiddahood.com

Widow Chick

Widow Chick on Facebook

Widowed Village

Stop Thief: Don't Steal My Grief

Widows Wear Stilettos

YoungWidow.org

YoungWidowBulletinBoard

Young Widow Support Group Basics

Books

Being a Widow by Lynn Caine

Confessions of a Mediocre Widow, Or, How I Lost My Husband and My Sanity by Catherine Tidd

Dream New Dreams: Reimagining My Life After Loss by Jai Pausch

I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing after the Death of a Loved One by Brooke Noel and Pamela D Blair,

I'm Grieving as Fast as I Can: How Young Widows and Widowers Can Cope and Heal by Linda Feinberg

Love You, Mean It: A True Story of Love, Loss and Friendship by Patricia Carrington et al

Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Loss and Love by Matthew Logelin

Other

What Not to Say: How to Reach Out to a Young Widow - "There’s a tendency to picture widowhood as a consequence of old age, yet about one-third of widows lose their spouse before age 45. Widowhood is not something young women are prepared for, and they suffer post-traumatic stress disorder to some degree, said Gwen Peterson, president of Hope for Widows Foundation. Their vision of their lives and plans for the future are shattered. How to help — even just what to say — in the face of such loss is a challenge to those who love and long to comfort someone. Most people have no idea how to approach the topic of an untimely death . . ."

Grief: What Does Grief Mean to Me? - "Grief, I feel, is a process that is largely done alone. I don’t know if that is unique to our American society, or if that is universal across the world. I think the griever would be better supported and comforted if the grief was done within the context of community and relationship. That support, that assistance, the listening ear can be so essential to the healing. But, especially at my relatively young age, my friends simply can’t relate to grief let alone the grief of a dead spouse. So, I have gone about my grief journey largely alone . . ."

Hope and Healing at Camp Widow - "I'm pretty good at tapping in to my grief and leaning in to it when I need to rather than pushing it aside and playing the denial game, so I was thinking today, why do I feel 'ok' right now? Where did this 'good vibe' buzz come from? And the only thing I can really put it down to is Camp Widow. It feels like attending this event last weekend was some kind of turning point in my grief journey . . ."

Writings by Megan Devine - This young widow witnessed the accidental death by drowning of her partner Matt in 2009. She is  a licensed clinical counselor, writer, and grief advocate. Find her at RefugeInGrief.com, on Facebook and on Google Plus.

Writings by Eric W - This young man suddenly became "an unmarried widower" when his partner of 13 years was killed in an accident. Follow Eric on Twitter.

Note to Readers: Suggestions for additions to this list are welcome. Please feel free to leave a comment, question or tip of your own, in the Comments section!

© by Marty Tousley, CNS-BC, FT, DCC




Caregiving and Hospice, July 20- July 26, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Oh, my. 'Dear patient: Your 5-minute appointment is awaiting you.' http://j.mp/1pkr9ap « Kevin MD

6 Tips To Guide You When Visiting Your Loved One in Memory Care, http://j.mp/1noUd47 « Alzheimer's Reading Room

Aromatherapy in end-of-life care, http://j.mp/Uy4Aqn « Caring with Confidence

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 20 -July 26, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

"Cowbells Ring... are you listening?" http://j.mp/1xc7m1h « GriefCorner

100 Songs about Grief and Loss, No. 2 http://j.mp/1qFfFF6 « What's Your Grief?

Waiting [for another grief attack], http://j.mp/1t4mwYE « Widow's Voice

Writing As a Healing Tool in Grief


Source
We do not write in order to be understood; we write in order to understand. ~ C. Day-Lewis

Because grief is an intensely personal experience, your personal grieving style will be unique to you and your individual personality. You may find it helpful to return to activities of self-expression that satisfy or relax you, or discover new ones that bring you comfort and relief,

Caregiving and Hospice, July 13 - July 19, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Dear lawmakers: This is what it's like to be a doctor today, http://j.mp/1tYog78 « Kevin MD

Selfless Caregiving: Honoring the Hospice Patient’s Wishes, http://j.mp/1jUfV00 « Caring with Confidence

Suicide Thoughts and End of Life, http://j.mp/1oXkxBj « Barbara Karnes Books, Inc.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 13 - July 19, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Forgiveness in Grief, http://j.mp/1nWtMT4 « Alive in Memory

Hope and Healing at Camp Widow, http://j.mp/1sAx5Cz « Widow's Voice

When Life Dishes Out the Unexpected – and it Always Does, http://j.mp/1mnwhZI « Ashley Davis Bush, LICSW

Coping with Pet Loss, July 13 - July 19, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

When is it okay to euthanize a pet? 'Enough Can Be Enough,' http://j.mp/1oRYcSX « Ezine Articles

Learning goodbye: Veterinarians fill a void by focusing on end of life care, http://j.mp/1yBRVSv « DVM 360

9 Questions to Consider When Planning Your Pet's End-of-Life Care, http://j.mp/1tWDFVs « Veterinary Wisdom Professionals

In Grief: When Tears Won’t Come

Source
Tears are the silent language of grief. ~Voltaire

A reader writes: My only sibling and big brother passed away six months ago, he was 30 years old. I used to be able to cry. I mean I would cry at work when things got stressful, and I would cry after fighting with friends, or cry if I were purely frustrated. My brother passes away and no tears. No tears at the funeral home. No tears at the hospital. No tears at the funeral. And no tears ... six months later.

Caregiving and Hospice, July 6 - July 12, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Amen! 'Let’s not lose sight of the gifts of hospice,' http://j.mp/TZqvGH « The Daily Journal

Brilliant! Not So ‘Crazy,’ After All, http://j.mp/1sI0PL3 « Modern Loss

The Death Doula, http://j.mp/1kaBhAV « Modern Loss

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 6 - July 12, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Exploring Grief Through Photograhy by Litsa Williams, http://j.mp/1khvw4r « Prezi

Grief in the Workplace: How can Managers Balance Productivity and Compassion? http://j.mp/1oQMo6m « Theravive

Helping Grieving Children: A List of Suggested Resources, http://j.mp/15BOJqS « Grief Healing Blog
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