A reader writes: I am at a loss with things right now and I really need some help. My partner's dad is dying and on the advice of his doctor he has been placed in hospice care. My mom passed 4 months ago today and I am still numb from that. I'm still not knowing how to handle my own grief, and now here I am with my partner and his family going thru this themselves.
Accepting help is its own kind of strength. ~ Kiera Cass
A reader writes: My wife passed away in hospice five weeks ago. Since then, I've gone home and had very little support from outside sources, partly by choice. I've done almost everything alone. The hospice staff have called and sent literature, but I just couldn't accept my wife's death enough to respond.I was her caregiver and, basically, her nurse for years, with very little outside help. It was all left up to us. I know she would have died much sooner if we hadn't fought so hard to get her the treatment she needed and keep her out of nursing homes. I wasn't planning to do much with hospice, although I am seeking counseling on my own, which should begin in the next few weeks.
I happened to look up "grief" on the computer, and yours is the first website I found.
Depending on where you are in your grief journey, there may come a time when you feel the need to channel your pain—and the time and energy once devoted to your loved one—into something meaningful. For many, that path takes the form of volunteering.
I don’t know if you remember me, but you helped me in a profound way last June. You gave me immediate guidance regarding my son, who had gone missing at sea following a climbing accident. He was 26 and had nearly qualified as a doctor.
A reader writes: Today is exactly two months since my husband died. I have been crying since Sunday, after my son and his fiancé left. I can't seem to find any joy in anything. Two of our children are getting married, I have a new grandchild on the way, there is so much happy stuff going on, and I just want to cry. Maybe I’ve been trying to be brave. Nobody likes a downer, but damn it, I feel like a downer. I just saw an ad in the newspaper for a grief group that’s starting this month, and I really feel I need this. I have never been one to join a group, but this is more then I can deal with. Do these groups really help? There are six sessions, all dealing with different steps. Is it worth trying? Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.
Grief is a universal experience that touches everyone—from kids to adults. And for fourth grade teacher Ryan Brazil, she used her own recent loss to help educate and open up to her students about grief. She explains what grief is to her students using a vase. Fourth Grade Teacher Explains Grief to Her Students « Upworthy
If ever there is a time when you’re entitled to ignore the rules of etiquette, or a time when immediate thanks is neither expected nor required, it is when you are in mourning.It is perfectly acceptable to express your gratitude for gifts of flowers, donations and other acts of kindness later, when other affairs are in order and when you may feel more up to the task. It is also appropriate to delegate this task to those family members and friends who are willing and able to do it on your behalf. In Grief: On Writing Sympathy Thank-You Notes « Grief Healing
Pet loss can be just as devastating as the loss of a human loved one. Some say it is even worse. Studies like this can help to validate this experience—and shed light on how people cope, grow, and honor their special bond. For anyone who has grieved a pet, you’re not alone. What It’s Like to Lose a Pet: 4 Lessons About How We Grieve « Psychology Today
For someone like Emilie, who has let millions into her life online, there's a false sense of intimacy. Fans feel like they know her. They want to comfort her. But in doing so, some cross a line. When comments shift from your pain to my fear, or my gratitude, they stop being about support and start being about self. And that's where well-meaning turns into harm. The six words no grieving mother wants to hear. « Mamamia
Asking yourself about the grief process and overdoing this work is a great insight that is always good to examine. I hadn’t thought of the possibility of working so hard at grief that it could be a distraction from stepping into life, but it makes great sense and is a profound insight. The importance of taking time for 'recess' in the grief process « Taos News
Whether it’s the diagnosis of an advanced cancer or a non-malignant condition such as dementia, heart failure or Parkinson’s disease, the psychological and emotional process of grief can begin many months or even years before the person dies. This experience of mourning a future loss is known as anticipatory grief. Not all mourning happens after bereavement – for some, grief can start years before the death of a loved one « The Conversation
There is a rising tide of positivity around the new year that can feel difficult for those suffering. Ambitious goals and resolutions can exacerbate discouragement or grief. An alternative approach is to focus on ways to steady and support yourself. How to Approach 2024 if Heavy-Hearted or Grief-Stricken « Psychology Today
Normal grief is a process that varies from person to person. Prolonged Grief Disorder occurs when this process is derailed. Normal grieving is supported by joining specialized groups of mourners and cultural and religious customs. Prolonged Grief Disorder Therapy focuses on healing themes and achieving milestones as recovery progresses. Grief: What Is Normal and What Is Prolonged Grief Disorder « Psychology Today
If the results of this study can be replicated and generalized, it seems that we are left with a major public mental health educational challenge. Whether by lack of knowledge or psychological denial, a large swath of the public may be suffering and not resolving grief normally. Recognizing and Reducing Prolonged Grief « Psychiatric Times
Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives. ~ William A. Foster
A reader writes: So… both of my in-laws passed away in different hospice facilities at different times in S. California. They received no food or water of any kind, just getting pain medications, and they passed within a week.
People who are grieving can make us feel uncomfortable. We tend to isolate those who are grieving, exacerbating their pain and loneliness. Acknowledging and addressing each other's suffering goes a long way to alleviating it. We need to be less afraid of saying or doing the "wrong thing" when addressing someone's grief. I'm Sorry For Your Loss « Psychology Today
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