After a Child’s Murder: What Parents Need to Know About Guilt, Grief, and Survival

When working with families and friends of people who have been murdered I find that the operative verb is never died but was killed . . . Being killed is seen as different from dying; it's unnatural, a form of theft, an act of taking something from you and your loved ones. What is taken is a person's life and all of its promise for future joy and happiness, companionship, and accomplishment. It is the most precious commodity one can steal and the greatest loss one can suffer.  ~ Helen Fitzgerald

A reader writes: I’m writing this letter in hopes of finding some peace. It will be three years next month that my son was murdered. He was only 18.

Mixing Grief, Medication, and Alcohol: A Dangerous Combination

Heavy use of drugs or alcohol can intensify the experience of grief and depression and impair the bereavement process. ~ J. William Worden

A reader writes: I wonder if I might turn out to become one of those complicated grief people. I have all the risk factors. I'm not usually a drinker or a drug taker -- I've been regularly using alcohol and Serax (oxazepam) since my husband died. The same thing happened after we got his diagnosis a year ago, but when we received some positive news that they might be able to beat the cancer or at least control it - I was able to cut out the oxazepam and reduce drinking to a glass of wine a day. Then he suddenly died - and we were completely unprepared. Even the doctors were surprised.

In Grief: Coping with Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.  ~ C.H. Spurgeon

A reader writes: I am trying to figure out if what I am going through is normal. I am thinking that it is probably some kind of panic or anxiety attack. It started when I had something upsetting happen totally unrelated to the death of my friend. Everything went okay with that situation but things seemed to get worse as the evening went on. Yesterday it was like I had tunnel vision all day. I felt shaky and detached. I have been restless, anxious, and feeling like I am sleep deprived when I have actually been sleeping.