Monday, March 26, 2012

When An Adult Child Dies: Resources for Bereaved Parents

[Reviewed and updated November 10, 2017]


Pieta, by Michelangelo
I don't think of him every day; I think of him every hour of every day.
~ Gregory Peck, in an interview many years after the death of his son

In the ordinary course of events, we parents don't expect to out-live our own grown children. But when an adult child does precede us in death, it shatters our assumptive world and brings us to our knees. It goes against what we perceive to be the natural order of things, and it feels very, very unfair.

At such a sorrowful time, where can bereaved parents turn for understanding, comfort and support?

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 18 - March 24, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Caregiving and Hospice, March 18 - March 24, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Coping with Pet Loss, March 18 - March 24, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
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Monday, March 19, 2012

Grief Support for Survivors of Suicide Loss

[Reviewed and updated November 19, 2017]

A reader writes: It has been a year and four months since I lost my brother to suicide. I still feel so lost and more then ever I feel alone with my sadness, anger and disbelief. We had been close when we were younger (we were only 14 months apart) but as we got older we grew apart. The last thing I remember was fighting with him over the phone, six days before he died, and he made a comment about killing himself. I immediately called my dad and asked him to go check on him, but my dad told me that my brother was an adult now and he could not babysit him. Six days later he found him in his room.

My response:  I’m so sorry to learn of the tragic loss of your brother 16 months ago, but grateful that you’ve shared your story with us, and honored to be with you in your pain. As you’ve undoubtedly learned by now, death by suicide is one of the most difficult losses to endure, and certainly one of the most difficult to understand.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Caregiving and Hospice, March 11 - March 17, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 11 - March 17, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Coping with Pet Loss, March 11 - March 17, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
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Monday, March 12, 2012

Guilt and Regret in Grief

Orestes Pursued by the Furies, by John Singer ...Image via Wikipedia
[Reviewed and Updated October 13, 2017]

A reader writes: Since my mother died, there are so many things I feel guilty about. All of the times she asked me to do something for her and I put it off. All of the times I rolled my eyes when she couldn't do things for herself. She lived in our home for two years after a major heart attack. I took care of her up until the last two weeks, when I finally called in hospice to help. That was the best thing I ever did. They helped us get through the dying process. But the guilt I feel is driving me crazy. I feel like a horrible person, and I wish I could tell her how I feel. She was 90 when she died, and lived a good life, had many friends and she seemed to be happy up until the last few weeks, when she became too weak to do the things she enjoyed. I wasn't always there for her, as I also work full time. I don't quite know how to handle this guilt and I am very depressed. Has anyone else had these kinds of feelings?

My response: This feeling of guilt in the aftermath of significant loss is so common as to be universal. Much has been written about why we experience it and what we can do to cope with it. (See, for example, Grief and the Burden of Guilt.)

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Caregiving and Hospice, March 4 - March 10, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 4 - March 10, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Coping with Pet Loss, March 4 - March 10, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Unresolved Grief: When a Loved One Is Missing

[Reviewed and updated October 30, 2017.]

Source
A reader writes:  I honestly think I'm going a little mad. On October 23, 2010 my brother took a break from moving into his apartment [in Jamaica], went out for lunch,  and never returned. Boxes were not opened and he never slept in the bed. His car was never recovered, which makes things more complicated. From all indications the police have a suspect(s) but according to them, without a confession or a witness there is absolutely nothing they can do. I believe the detective who says if the opportunity arises to catch those responsible they will but, how likely will that ever be? My brother was 33 years old and single with a promising business career in printing. Crime and corruption in Jamaica is bad, but where isn't? Everyday someone goes missing, young and old and you never hear of them being found dead or alive. The police told me that his body may not be on earth as it would have been found, which they translated to mean they disposed of him out at sea. Until it happens to you, you never know how you would feel.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Caregiving and Hospice, February 26 - March 3, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 26 - March 3, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Coping with Pet Loss, February 26 - March 3, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: