Child Loss: Supporting A Sister In Grief

Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heal them.  ~ Leo Tolstoy

A reader writes: My 6 year old niece died suddenly a month ago. She was a completely healthy, strong little girl, until all of a sudden she wasn't. She had been sick for a few days with a low grade fever and a headache. Her parents thought it was just the bug going around. One morning she woke up still complaining of her headache, but asking her parents if she could still go to her cheer competition the upcoming weekend. She was so excited about it. She fell back to sleep. When her father went to wake her an hour or so later, she started seizing. He rushed her to the hospital, where she continued seizing until at one point she stopped breathing and was intubated. She never woke up from that point. Once many tests had been run we were told that she was brain dead and she died from bacterial meningitis.

In Grief: Sharing Sadness with A Child

It [is]our job to walk them through understanding their pain but also to be honest with them about our own.  ~ K.C. Freeman Ray

A reader writes: I recently lost my dad really suddenly, and he was only 50 and very healthy. I just wanted to talk about this because it seems there's nobody to tell. Nursing my younger brother today because he's not well. I got just an overwhelming sadness and couldn't stop crying and its weird how it doesn't even cross his mind why I might be upset because he's young? I dunno I don't get it surely even if he's a child he misses my dad too? Anyway I had to pretend I was crying because I felt ill and he was like "I never cry when I'm ill" haha.

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 12 - October 18, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

On Dating (or Not): Sit With It, http://j.mp/1rNgFko « Widow's Voice

Anticipatory Grief: Chronic diseases come with a new "normal," http://j.mp/1t0xm2u « The Caregiver Space

Ambiguous Grief: Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive, http://j.mp/11yFLyr « What's Your Grief?

Child Loss: Supporting A Sibling In Grief

Find an updated version of this post here:

Child Loss: Supporting A Sister in Grief

A reader writes: My 6 year old niece died suddenly a month ago . . . I'm looking for guidance on how to support my sister. She has been completely devastated by this, understandably. 

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 23 - June 29, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

After Tragedy: 3 Reasons And 21 Ways To Bring Joy Back into Your Life, http://j.mp/19GzjI5 « Tiny Buddha

Finding Balance: A self care quiz for grievers,  http://j.mp/biCTnZ « Hello Grief

Lively discussion dominates Death Cafe, http://j.mp/14CCIRD « Baltimore Sun

Grief Relief! 5 Holistic Alternatives to Therapy, http://j.mp/19Ia9FA « With Sympathy Gifts and Keepsakes

Lovely! Saving Grief Until After Wimbledon, http://j.mp/12vdXU3 « Friend Grief

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 17 - March 23, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A son's touching tribute: My Father's Horniness, http://j.mp/167NIrz by Dax Shepard

Defending Against Loss, http://j.mp/11rBuaz by Tara Brach

Film Review: The Way, http://j.mp/10uwXoM « The Family Plot Blog

Celebrities speaking up about grief, http://wp.me/p2KrvU-Es « What's Your Grief?

Powerful lesson shared: A Death Remembered, http://j.mp/YKl5ul by Mtutuzeli Nyoka

Deathbed Promises: Honoring a Mother’s Dying Wish

[Reviewed and updated November 17, 2024]

Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible. ~ Hannah Arendt

A reader writes: My mom died last month after a five-year battle with cancer. Even though I live and work in a different part of the country, I was able to spend some quality time with her before she died, including a family trip with my mom and dad, my younger sister and our 13 year-old brother. 

          When we returned from that trip, my mother asked me if I would move home to take care of my brother because she was worried that he wouldn't get the nurturing care he needs. I never answered my mom, but I didn't say no, either.

Grief Support for Survivors of Suicide Loss

[Reviewed and updated February 27, 2026]

A reader writes: It has been a year and four months since I lost my brother to suicide. I still feel so lost and more then ever I feel alone with my sadness, anger and disbelief. We had been close when we were younger (we were only 14 months apart) but as we got older we grew apart. The last thing I remember was fighting with him over the phone, six days before he died, and he made a comment about killing himself. I immediately called my dad and asked him to go check on him, but my dad told me that my brother was an adult now and he could not babysit him. Six days later he found him in his room.

My response:  I’m so sorry to learn of the tragic loss of your brother 16 months ago, but grateful that you’ve shared your story with us, and honored to be with you in your pain. As you’ve undoubtedly learned by now, death by suicide is one of the most difficult losses to endure, and certainly one of the most difficult to understand.