Children Express Grief Differently from Adults

A child can live with anything as long as he or she is told the truth and is allowed to share with loved ones the natural feelings people have when they are suffering.  ~ Eda LeShan

A reader writes: My grandchild, age 7, lost her mother almost two months ago. The other children have shown some of the "documented" signs of grief, and I understand everyone grieves differently, but I am concerned for her, as she seems to be "begging" for pity much of the time. She has told me more than once that she loves all the spoiling she has been getting as a result of her mother's death.

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 22 - October 28, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

After-death communications (ADCs) occur in people of all faiths, as well as agnostics and atheists. ADC experiences often leave a sense of comfort and healing in the wake of grief. Even as religious affiliation is on the decline, ADCs and belief in the afterlife seem to be increasing. After-Death Communication Experiences May Promote Healing « Psychology Today

In Grief: Making Big Decisions After Major Loss

Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful. ~ José N. Harris

A reader writes: Two months ago we lost our 18-year-old son in a traffic accident just two blocks from our home. He was driving alone. We are talking about moving because my wife can't drive by the intersection anymore and does not feel comfortable in the home. I need some advice on the subject of moving. Would this be good, bad, or too soon? Would we regret a move later down the road? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 8 - October 21, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, which brings attention to the fact that tens of thousands of families across the country suffer the loss of their baby each year. It also brings awareness to the fact that the grief of these families isn’t widely acknowledged. Recognizing the Unique Grief of Bereaved Parents « Stanford Medicine

When Grief Is Complicated or Prolonged

[Reviewed and updated February 26, 2024]

Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.  ~ Dr. Earl A. Grollman 

You may have heard of the controversy over including Prolonged Grief Disorder in the latest edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR), which is the most widely used psychiatric reference in the world. For more than a decade, mental health professionals and researchers worked diligently to agree upon specific criteria for identifying and assessing complicated grief ~ in order to obtain payment for treatment and funding for research, to identify those at risk, and to distinguish depression from complicated grief. 

Coping with Father Loss in Early Childhood

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. ~ Anne Sexton

A reader writes: I'm 35 years old and was nine years old when I lost my father. I live my life in a perpetual state of loss, it seems. I'm able to find a lot of joy, but it's always shadowed by an inevitable sense of sadness and loneliness. Sometimes, like right now, it just hurts and I don't know what to do with it. I've had years of therapy, with various therapists; I've been in 12-step programs; read numerous books on the subject, but I still live with this deep sense of loss. I guess I just want to know -- WILL IT EVER GO AWAY??

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 1 - October 7, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:

In short, eventually you may well find an accommodation with your grief. I suppose that’s one of the few lessons I’ve learned in those four years. Not a happy accommodation perhaps, but enough of one to get you through the days and weeks and months and, now, years. That said, every so often grief will casually raise its head to remind you that it hasn’t finished with you. That it never will. That it is part of your make-up for the rest of your time on this planet. Every so often, grief will remind you it hasn't finished with you « The Herald

In Grief: Still Struggling After The First Year

[Reviewed and updated November 11, 2024]

Consequences follow when we force people to use a universal roadmap for grieving, and then judge those who do not follow it as wrong or sick. We deny the normality of grief. We deny the differences in our grieving experiences. We deny people the freedom to grieve. ~ Nancy Berns

If you find yourself (or someone you know) struggling with new waves of grief after having reached the one year mark, you are not alone. A woman whose husband died 15 months ago described her experience this way:

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 24 - September 30, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:

As long as we love, we are going to grieve, and as long as we grieve, we are going to need support. Though it was on-trend for half a century, mourning attire has now been out of fashion even longer. Black is the customary color of mourning in the U.S., but wearing all black doesn’t infer what it did. Why Grief Is Ready for Its Renaissance Era « Psychology Today