From Grief to Giving: Finding Healing and Purpose Through Volunteering

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late . . . the love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say to him, 'What are you going through?' ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Depending on where you are in your grief journey, there may come a time when you feel the need to channel your pain—and the time and energy once devoted to your loved one—into something meaningful. For many, that path takes the form of volunteering.

Making Room for New Love after Loss: Hope, Healing, and Resources

And think not that you can direct the course of love, for love, if it's worthy, directs your course.  ~ Khalil Gibran

A reader writes: I have insight into my growth through grief these past 2 years. At first it was a tight shell around me, I couldn't let anyone in. Now it's a softer cocoon. I empathize with newly bereaved in a way I never got before. I sit, I'm patient, I listen.

I feel room in my heart for a new life partner while maintaining my connection with my deceased husband. How did I get here? I met a guy, a widower, he gets it! He gets me. I get him. It's new, I'm hopeful. I miss my deceased husband daily and I'm "in like" with a new man. I have room in my heart yet it feels awkward -- and hopeful.

Memorial Day: Honoring Fallen Service Members and Their Families

[Reviewed and updated May 22, 2026]

They fell, but o'er their glorious grave /
Floats free the banner of the cause they died to save.
~ Francis Marion Crawford

Nearly four million men and women have served in the U.S. military over the last fifteen years, and more than half of them are married with children.
 
Originally designated as a day “to cherish tenderly the memory of our heroic dead,” Memorial Day is held on the last Monday of May each year. The holiday offers us a great opportunity to recognize and honor the sacrifice of these dedicated service members and their families.

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 19 - February 8, 2025

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed:

[T]hat a man might actually feel a profound emotional connection to his unborn child as it lives—or dies—inside someone else’s body is not a truth we’re especially comfortable with.“My body, my choice,” the longtime rallying cry of abortion rights advocates, emphasizes exactly whose body and whose choice it isn’t. In the public imagination, men’s feelings on this topic are of no consequence; some find it inconceivable that they even have feelings at all.  The Men Who Lost Their Babies « The FreePress

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 14 - January 27, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

There is a rising tide of positivity around the new year that can feel difficult for those suffering. Ambitious goals and resolutions can exacerbate discouragement or grief. An alternative approach is to focus on ways to steady and support yourself. How to Approach 2024 if Heavy-Hearted or Grief-Stricken « Psychology Today

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 22 - October 28, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

After-death communications (ADCs) occur in people of all faiths, as well as agnostics and atheists. ADC experiences often leave a sense of comfort and healing in the wake of grief. Even as religious affiliation is on the decline, ADCs and belief in the afterlife seem to be increasing. After-Death Communication Experiences May Promote Healing « Psychology Today

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 20 - August 26, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:

We may be unable to make sense of the grief we feel. The logic of grief remains mysterious because it is as unique as the life stories from which it emerges. In times of grief, cognitive and emotional processes that usually ensure stability may function inadequately. Why Grief-Related Experiences Can Seem Illogical « Psychology Today

In Grief: A Priceless Gift Goes Unacknowledged

Often you think when you're rejected that you are not good enough, But the truth is they weren't ready for all you have to offer.  ~ Melchor Lim

A reader writes: My friend who died of cancer 14 months ago had been estranged from his family of origin the last year of his life. About 6 weeks before he died, they reached out to him, in the hope of reconciliation. Plans were made for a face-to-face meeting on neutral turf. Unfortunately, my friend began to physically deteriorate, and neither the meeting or the reconciliation took place.

Voices of Experience: Helping Children Find the Light

It isn’t easy to accept what we can’t understand. But one thing I know to be true is that light always follows the dark. ~The Wolf’s Curse

We all wish we could protect children from the harsh realities of life, but if it’s one thing the last two years have made clear, it’s that we can’t. What we can do is give kids a safe space to process and name their feelings, and books are often the perfect way to do that. Author Jessica Vitalis reinvents Grim Reaper mythology in her middle grade novel The Wolf’s Curse. The story is narrated by a snarky wolf searching for someone in a highly superstitious fishing village to take her (yes, her!) job. But underneath the fantastical worldbuilding is a story that is honest and accessible; rather than shying away from the difficult emotions experienced by those who are grieving, the author embraces them in a story that opens the door to conversations about grief, tradition, the afterlife, and most importantly, about hope and healing. The following excerpt is reprinted with the author's permission.

Praise for Online Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Praise is warming and desirable. But it is an earned thing. It has to be deserved, like a hug from a child.  ~ Phyllis McGinley

A reader writes: I joined your online discussion groups three months after my mother died. I always read the posts from others whose parents had died, but barely responded because there was so much said that I felt I could rarely come up with consolations that may have made an impact. 

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 20 - December 26, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Hospice providers nationwide are reassessing how they provide bereavement care due to the need for social distancing during the ongoing pandemic. With few other options, many are turning to telehealth systems to support grieving families. Hospices Redesign Bereavement Care Due to Social Distancing « Hospice News

Caregiving, Hospice & Grief, April 12 - April 18, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

There is a lot of loss involved in what we're living right now. How do we cope? Find out in this video: Grieving the Loss of Daily Life Routine and Milestones During the Pandemic « Refuge In Grief

It’s a staggering thought, but right this moment, there are 5.8 million Americans living with dementia . . . There is help — resources and education that are breaking down the stigma surrounding dementia. Caregivers can live well with dementia, too! « Your Valley

Caregiving & Grief, March 8 - March 14, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

When you are grieving, your mental and emotional bandwidth are already strained. Adding external stress and instability can be even harder to cope with than it would be otherwise. Taking Care of Your Mental Health During Coronavirus, https://j.mp/2IPNGPz « What's Your Grief?

Miscarriage can be a painful experience with long-lasting effects on women’s emotional, mental, and physical health. How can they move toward healing?Emotional Healing After a Miscarriage: A Guide for Women, Partners, Family, and Friends, https://j.mp/3cUEKXa « Nursing@Georgetown

Caregiving and Hospice, August 5 - August 11, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

When Is The Right Time For Hospice Care? http://j.mp/2KOoTKE « Forbes

Meditation App Benefits Hospice and Palliative Care Clinicians, http://j.mp/2KHZXEw « Oncology Nursing News

Dog with cancer helps hospice director spread the word to keep living after terminal diagnosis, http://j.mp/2MBovk9 « Idaho State Journal

In Grief: How Long Will This Pain Go On?

[Reviewed and updated February 12, 2024]

Although there is no magical cure for the pain of losing a person you love, forming a bond with others who know your struggle may make the path a little bit less lonely. ~ Karen Johnson

A reader writes: I recently lost my precious angel wife after 40 years of marriage. I visited your Grief Healing site and the discussion groups. It seems that everywhere I go including the discussion groups I'm hearing those who are grieving over a loved one saying pretty much the same thing, "It still hurts almost as bad after x number of years," and it doesn't seem to matter what number you replace the x with. I am feeling like there's no tomorrow right now or at least I don't care if there is one.

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 22 - October 28, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Loss of a Spouse: 5 Things Only a Widow/er Understands,  http://j.mp/2yZ6SXr « The Grief Toolbox

Trust Me As I Grieve, http://j.mp/2yYFZTM « What's Your Grief ?

Lin Sue Cooney: Coping with grief during holidays, http://j.mp/2yTFOqE « AZ Central

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 3 - September 9, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Are you grieving "for" a not so nice person? See "What's In A Preposition? A Grammar for Grieving," http://j.mp/2xcgwFv « Offbeat Compassion

Finding Hope Again, http://j.mp/2eMkcDo « The Grief Toolbox

Romance May Not Be the Answer after Loss, http://j.mp/2eM81Xi « Second Firsts

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 27 - September 2, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grieving May Be Lonely (But it Doesn't Have to Be), http://j.mp/2vVmAhg « Open to Hope

Healing Grief through the Gift of Volunteering, http://bit.ly/hO4In3 « Grief Healing

Attachment Is the Source of All Suffering, http://j.mp/2wmizFZ « Psychology Today

Voices of Experience: A Reflection on Grief and Mourning

Source

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.  ~ Henry Van Dyke

As Senior Director of the Jewish Hospice and Chaplaincy Network, Rabbi Joseph H. Krakoff has worked for many years with adults and children wrestling with death, grief and remembrance. While in Rabbinical School at the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York City, he developed a thought-provoking text to share with families, guiding them through honest conversations about the legacy and values that remain even as someone dearly loved has died.

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 14 - May 20, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why we Need to Stop Saying, "I'm Sorry For Your Loss," http://bit.ly/2r4Bh3M « Elephant Journal

After A Loss, Learning to Be Happy Again, http://nyti.ms/2q2E1dB « The New York Times

Change Your Mind, Change the World, http://bit.ly/2pUt6H5 « Soaring Spirits International