Grief In The Second Year: "Harder And More Painful Now"

Sometimes the first anniversary of his death is one of peace when we realize that we managed to survive the worst year of our life, but then we wake up to the second year and find a whole other set of challenges to meet.  ~ Pat Bertram

A reader writes: How does one deal with the overwhelming grief at 14 months and 9 days? For me it is harder and more painful now. Am I crazy Marty? I have not dreamed of my beloved since he went to Heaven, except a nightmare the night he died, that they lost him in the tunnels in the hospital. I can't feel him, no one will say his name and I am trying desperately to understand this all. Does it mean that since I cannot dream or feel him that I did something wrong? I feel that way. My doctor/therapist told me that the second year may be harder and she was so right, am I the only person that feels this way?

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 21 - May 27, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Children process grief differently from adults. The grief and sacrifice of a child who loses a parent in military combat are ongoing. Children can process the death of a soldier parent, but the realness and permanence may be hard to accept. Memorial Day: A Hidden Audience in Grief « Psychology Today

Supporting Children and Adolescents in Grief

[Reviewed and updated September 25, 2024]

As an adult or child, experiencing grief means to “feel,” not just to “understand.” Anyone old enough to love is old enough to grieve.  ~ Alan D. Wolfelt

Children and adolescents grieve just as deeply as adults, but depending on their cognitive and emotional development, they will experience and express their grief differently from the grown-ups around them.

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 14 - May 20, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief can blindside us at otherwise ordinary moments. Grief is an invisible wound because all our pain is internal. Sharing these experiences can help educate others about grief. How Your Pain Helps Teach The World « Psychology Today

In Grief: Feeling Numb, Unable to Cry

Tears have a wisdom all their own. They come when a person has relaxed enough to let go to work through his sorrow. They are the natural bleeding of an emotional wound, carrying the poison out of the system. Here lies the road to recovery.  ~ F. Alexander Magoun 

A reader writes: My only sibling and big brother passed away six months ago, he was 30 years old. I used to be able to cry. I mean I would cry at work when things got stressful, and I would cry after fighting with friends, or cry if I were purely frustrated. My brother passes away and no tears. No tears at the funeral home. No tears at the hospital. No tears at the funeral. And no tears ... six months later.

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, May 7 - May 13, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

For practical suggestions on how to cope with grief on Mother’s Day ~ or on how to better understand and support a mother, mother figure, daughter, grandmother (or a dad!) in grief ~ you're invited to access one or more of the helpful articles and resources listed here:  Coping with Grief on Mother's Day: Selected Resources « Grief Healing

Using Antidepressants to Manage Acute, Normal Grief

[Reviewed and updated July 15, 2024]

Encouraging words are good medicine for the soul. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

A reader writes: About four weeks ago, I came off an antidepressant which allowed the unresolved grief issues over my brother’s death to surface. I believe that the antidepressant kept me from fully grieving his loss, which I am in the process of doing now. A colleague, therapist, and good friend who has known me over the years knows exactly where I am and says perhaps just a small dosage of an antidepressant (not the one that I was on) could be beneficial until resolution and integration is accomplished. I see my M.D. next week to explain what has been going on, and to get a med check (I am also on a thyroid medication). I seem to be doing well and don’t really want to take any more meds. I would appreciate any advice in this respect.

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 30 - May 6, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Texas author Dina Gachman shares her story of healing after losing her mother and sister in her book, So Sorry For Your Loss: How I Learned to Live with Grief, and Other Grave Concerns: Author Interview « Texas Standard

Voices of Experience: Saying Yes to Help (Saying Yes to Everything)

Never say "there are no words" to the grieving.  ~ Colin Campbell 

In his new book, author Colin Campbell offers an honest account of his journey through profound loss and grief, while providing guidance and practical tools for others going through similar experiences. Loss and grief are universal experiences but too often shrouded in isolation and discomfort.

Finding the Words: Working Through Profound Loss with Hope and Purpose is a powerful and personal exploration of grief, as a bereft father shares his experience of losing both his children, Ruby and Hart when a drunk driver hit their car, and changed what was a pleasant family outing to the worst day imaginable. Colin Campbell addresses the fear, pain, denial, guilt, rage, despair and isolation that accompanies grief and encourages readers to find community and ritual in the face of loss.