In Grief: A Teen Mourns The Death of Her Best Friend

Because children and teens grieve differently than adults, their needs, especially support through the grieving process, are often overlooked. Consequently, children and teens are frequently forgotten, even invalidated, as mourners.  ~ Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS

A reader writes: When I was 12 years old, my best friend in the whole world died, one month before her 12th birthday. She was in the swimming pool playing that game—you know, who can hold their breath the longest—she was under but when she came up she inhaled a lot of water. She stood up and went over to the ladder and she was wheezing. She got up to the ladder and fell backwards, but her cousin caught her.

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 21 - August 27, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief is a funny thing (I know it's not), it manages to boomerang into your system in hysterical ways—especially when you think you've learned to live with it. As a human, you can neither cheat nor escape grief—you can, however, shoulder the loss in many different ways, something I’ve ironically learnt from TV shows and films. 5 Movies & Shows That Showcased Grief In A Hauntingly Beautiful Way « Elle

Pet Loss: A Reader Asks, How Am I Doing?

The thing about grief is that it's a roller coaster -- it's up, it's down. The emotions sometimes take over.  ~ Brent Sexton

A reader writes: It's been a bit over 7 months now since the death of my cat and I'd like to say I'm doing wonderfully, but I'm not. In fact, between the numbness that lasted so long and trying too hard to 'improve', I've had even more of a delayed reaction to the deep grief than I'd first thought! In some ways, I think I did 'better' with the loss of my first cat than with this one, in that I knew very little about coping skills at first and went about it almost in a more natural way. Whereas this time, I tried to apply maybe too many of those coping strategies too soon, resulting in more of an avoidance of the deeper pain than I'd wanted, or that I think was healthy for me. I'm still stuck in that to some degree, but overall, I've been feeling pretty terrible and debilitated....despite still doing things for myself and my future. But I miss my girl more and more each day w/o her and many times still can't even begin to contemplate a world w/o her here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 14 - August 20, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grieving is learning as our brains adjust to a profound change. In grief, our brains must rewire to function in a world minus our loved one. By avoiding painful feelings, you do not give your brain the opportunity to learn to manage them. Rewiring the Brain in Grief « Psychology Today 

Coping with Longing in Grief

[Reviewed and updated December 19, 2022]

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.  ~ Thomas Campbell

A reader writes: At the age of 47, I have suddenly lost the most significant person in my whole life. He was my first and only true love. I just cannot go on. I will not harm myself but I know my heart needs to find his. I am empty -- lifeless without him -- I sometimes lay my head down at night and want him to come to me and take me with him. I have not felt his presence and crave it every single second of every single day. I have lost many people close to me including my dad but this pain is unbearable. I don't believe I have ever loved this deeply in my life and I have many loved ones around me. The only comfort I crave is to be in his arms again -- so I ache for something that I will never have.

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 7 - August 13, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

However painful, Michael Cholbi believes grief can be valuable for the person who grieves. Grief has a purpose: the various emotions one feels as bereavement unfolds are our way of attending to the many elements of our relationship with the deceased. Beyond the Pain: A Philosopher's Guide to Grappling with Grief « The Jewish Herald-Voice

In Grief: Dying With A Smile

There is something about losing your mother that is permanent and inexpressable - a wound that will never quite heal. ~ Susan Wiggs

A reader writes: I just lost my mother. I am an only child and my father is gone too, so I feel so alone. I am finding it hard to function, but I am a single mom of three children, so I need to pull myself together. My mother and I were closer than two people could ever possibly be. She gave birth to me after 13 years of trying, and dedicated herself to me 100%. We were together every single day. She helped me with my children ever since they were born, even when I was still married.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 31 - August 6, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

If you are unsure whether you are experiencing grief or finding it challenging to work through bereavement, grief counseling can offer support and helpful ways to bring meaning to the loss and allow you to move forward through your grief. Grief Counseling: What It Is, and Therapist Finder Resources « Very Well Health

Finding A Friend in Grief

Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.  ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

A reader writes: Marty, I just wanted to write and thank you for your Grief Healing Discussion Groups website. It's been 6 months since I lost my horse, Domino. I know you recently heard from my friend, Anita, who lost her dog shortly after I lost Domino last August. Although Anita lives in Canada and I live in the States, we have developed a wonderful friendship via email and telephone calls.