Monday, January 29, 2018

In Grief: When Dating Is Complicated

There's no limit to how complicated things can get, on account of one thing always leading to another.  ~ E.B. White

A reader writes: My husband of 20 years died  nearly two years ago. It was a second marriage for both of us. He was several years older than I. He had children and so did I. His death from esophageal cancer was a long and difficult one, and during the last part of his life I had some disputes with some of his grown kids over their not helping me to care for him. So after a year I went to a support group at my church with people who had lost spouses or someone close to them. I met a man there who had lost his girlfriend of eight years to breast cancer. Her death had happened only one month before, so things were still quite raw for him. He pursued me via phone calls and we have been seeing each other for the last eight months. About a month ago he started to have a lot of problems with the intimacy part of our relationship.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Caregiving and Hospice, January 21 - January 27, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

My husband was dying. I was being ignored. http://j.mp/2GlFHY3 « Kevin MD

Waiting too long to use hospice can make suffering at end-of-life worse, http://j.mp/2G8LjoF « The Washington Post

How Can a Care Manager Help You?  http://j.mp/2G2IxBn « Seven Ponds Blog

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 21 - January 27, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

An Open Letter to Bereaved Parents and Others, http://j.mp/2G8jDAg « Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

Avoiding Grief: Why It Doesn’t Work, http://j.mp/2G85vqO « The Grief Toolbox

Ask Annah: How Can I Fix My Grief Pain? http://j.mp/2G206RY « The Five Facets

Monday, January 22, 2018

What to Say (Or Not) to A Person in Grief

Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don't mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime. ~ Rachel Wolchin

When a death is anticipated or when someone we know has died, the words we choose to write or speak to a caregiver or to a person in mourning can carry significant impact and can be remembered for a very long time. The newly bereaved are especially vulnerable and sensitive. Depending on what is said and how it is expressed, our words can be perceived as helpful and comforting, or as unkind, insensitive and hurtful.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Caregiving and Hospice, January 14 - January 20, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

'Morphine is no substitute for the truth': Doctors must be honest about progressive illness, http://j.mp/2FTPLHN « Healthy Debate

Words We Say, http://j.mp/2FRQVU0 « Soaring Spirits International

Nostalgia . . . for the future, http://j.mp/2FTSWiL « The Unprepared Caregiver

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 14 - January 20, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Does It Ever Get Easier? http://j.mp/2rnmF0f « Grief Watch

Dark Night of Grief, http://j.mp/2rny7sA « Widower's Grief

How Telling Your Story of Loss May Help, http://j.mp/2EM4hQn « Grieve Well

Coping with Pet Loss, January 14 - January 20, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

When to Consider Euthanasia for Your Dog or Cat, http://j.mp/2EG5Fnw « Everything Now!!!

The "New" Pet: When Is The Right Time? http://j.mp/2FxFwsl « Everything Now!!!

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Voices of Experience: The Jury Has Made A Decision

As long as we continue to live as if we are what we do, what we have, and what other people think about us, we will remain filled with judgments, opinions, evaluations, and condemnations. We will remain addicted to putting people and things in their "right" place.  ~ Henri J.M. Nouwen

Kelley Lynn is a writer, comedian, actor, and speaker. Since she was widowed suddenly in 2011 at age 39, she has made it her mission ~ through her writing, comedy, and speaking engagements ~ to change the conversation surrounding grief and loss. Her popular TEDx talk, When Someone You Love Dies, There is No Such Thing as Moving On, has 90,000 views and counting. Here she writes of the challenges of navigating widowhood in a culture that is often insensitive, judgmental and all too willing to offer unsolicited advice.

As a widowed person, I sometimes feel as if I've been convicted of something.

Perhaps I did something wrong, and I just don't remember.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Caregiving and Hospice, January 7 - January 13, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Powerful and moving: What Really Matters: A Lesson From The Dying, http://j.mp/2EEMiv1 « The Good Men Project

Advice on Talking to Someone with Suicidal Thoughts...from Someone Who's Had Suicidal Thoughts, http://j.mp/2FrRSCd « American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Repeat After Me: 'Hospice Means More Care, Not Less,' http://j.mp/2ExO0OO « HuffPost

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 7 - January 13, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

When Grief Goes From Just Plain Miserable to Problematic, http://j.mp/2ECNBeh « What's Your Grief

23 Humans On What They Wish The World Understood About Grief, http://j.mp/2EywDxs « HuffPost

When Grief Gets Complicated, http://j.mp/2FjaRPj « Psychology Today

Coping with Pet Loss, January 3 - January 13, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Pet Hospice 101: Quality of Life: Recognizing Pain in a Pet, http://j.mp/2FgZCqV « Gentle Journey

Pet Loss: Curious Cats Still Getting Killed in Clothes Dryers, http://j.mp/2Ffdzp6
« Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Monday, January 8, 2018

Pet Loss: Curious Cats Still Getting Killed in Clothes Dryers

Precaution is better than cure.  ~ Edward Coke

In an earlier post I shared a number of stories from members of our online pet loss forum describing their personal experiences with cats and kittens being accidentally killed in clothes dryers.

As I said then, losing a beloved animal in such a horrific way leaves pet parents traumatized with gruesome images and devastating feelings of grief, guilt and remorse.

I’m sorry to say that despite my own efforts to alert and to warn, with an eye toward prevention, these tragic accidents continue to this day.

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Caregiving and Hospice, December 31 - January 6, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

New push for end-of-life planning begins in the church pew, http://j.mp/2F1mhaj « STAT

The Virtual Dementia Tour Gives A Look Into The World of Cognitive Decline, http://j.mp/2Ea6SU4 « Seven Ponds Blog

Brush With Death Leads Doctor To Focus On Patient Perspective, http://j.mp/2E5IvH4 « Shots - Health News from NPR

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Monday, January 1, 2018

In Grief: Mourning The Loss of A Former Life

Source
If we open a quarrel between past and present, we shall find that we have lost the future.  ~ Winston Churchill

A reader writes: Wow, where do I start. In a nutshell: My son-in-law was killed in a vehicular accident two years ago. He was an amazing father and husband to my daughter, who at the time was pregnant with their fifth child. My daughter was never as happy as she was when she found the man of her dreams. My husband and I moved last year to be closer to my daughter and our grandchildren. I had been a hairdresser at the same salon for 30 years, but I gave it up because my husband could work from home anywhere. Meanwhile last October our 28 year-old son moved in with our daughter to help take care of the kids. He was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma last December. He had two surgeries: ribs cracked open to remove a mass from his chest, then a large mass in his neck, followed by 10 chemos and 14 radiations.

I have been married to the same man for 33 years. I feel like I have given up my life, my friends and job but don't think I/we had a choice. Our daughter needed help with our five grandkids ages 10, 9, 5, 2 and 11 months. How do I move on and be happy with the life I have now???