In Grief: Son Disapproves of The Way Mom Needs to Grieve

Imagine the choices you'd make if you had no fear-of falling, of losing, of being alone, of disapproval.  ~ Martha Beck

A reader writes: It will be one year tomorrow that the love of my life, my everything -- will have been in Heaven for one year and I miss him so very, very, very much. Announcement of the anniversary of my husband’s death appears in the newspaper today and I am a wreck. I just can't do this life thing without my beloved...it is so hard and I don't know where to turn. I am tired of pretending, so very, very tired................

My oldest son didn't want to put in a memoriam and my youngest, well he basically asked me to do it for him. It hurts so much. I know they truly miss their father with all of their being but why, why won't they talk to me or, or I don't know what.

In Grief: Mother Loss vs. Spouse Loss

[Reviewed and updated May 17, 2026]

Make friends with guilt. Guilt is a beautiful emotion that alerts us when something is wrong so that we may achieve peace with our conscience. Without conscience there would be no morality. So we can greet guilt cordially and with acceptance, just as we do all other emotions. After we respond to guilt, it has done its job and we can release it.  ~ Glenn R. Schiraldi

A reader writes: My mother was diagnosed with cancer and was given 6 weeks to live. She died six weeks later. Just one month after that, my husband was told there was something in his lung. By the time he was finally diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, it had spread to the lining of his lung and his bones. My husband was 57 and had just retired 3 months before we knew he was ill. Within eight months after diagnosis, he was dead. So I have had two great losses in a ten-month period. 

In Grief: Everyone's Loss Is Somehow Different But The Same

[Reviewed and updated September 29, 2024]

A reader writes: Every time I hear someone call my husband's name I am reminded that he is gone. He was so young. My grown children were very angry at God that he took their father at 66, they thought it wasn't fair, he didn't have more time on earth. Still, I read this morning of a widow whose husband was only 46, that is really very very young. We all think this terrible thing is only happening to us until we read of others and their pain, and then we can understand everyone's loss is somehow different but the same.

Caregiving and Hospice, January 21 - January 27, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

My husband was dying. I was being ignored. http://j.mp/2GlFHY3 « Kevin MD

Waiting too long to use hospice can make suffering at end-of-life worse, http://j.mp/2G8LjoF « The Washington Post

How Can a Care Manager Help You?  http://j.mp/2G2IxBn « Seven Ponds Blog

Pet Loss: Is It A Different Kind of Grief?

[Reviewed and updated September 7, 2025]

The difference between friends and pets is that friends we allow into our company, pets we allow into our solitude.  ~ Robert Brault

As one who for many years has supported bereaved animal lovers as well as people mourning the loss of human loved ones, I’m often asked how losing a pet might differ from losing a person. Is the grieving process any different, and if so, how?

Having worked as a grief counselor with both kinds of loss, and having experienced both kinds of loss myself, I can say without reservation that the grief that accompanies pet loss is no different from that of losing a cherished friend or special member of the family. As I often tell my clients, love is love, loss is loss, and pain is pain. Grief is a natural, spontaneous response to the loss of someone dearly loved. Without a doubt, the loss of a loved animal companion and the feelings associated with that loss are real, and they deserve a time of grief, mourning and healing.

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 20 - October 26, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Thomas Lynch on Cremation, Accessories and the Good Funeral, http://j.mp/1g0RUAP  « A Good Goodbye with Gail Rubin

Wake up! It’s Day of the Dead,  http://j.mp/1ajxSvs « Navigating Grief

Widow chokes and dies while writing widow blog, http://j.mp/1dtiUIj « Widow's Voice