In Grief: Coping with Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.  ~ C.H. Spurgeon

A reader writes: I am trying to figure out if what I am going through is normal. I am thinking that it is probably some kind of panic or anxiety attack. It started when I had something upsetting happen totally unrelated to the death of my friend. Everything went okay with that situation but things seemed to get worse as the evening went on. Yesterday it was like I had tunnel vision all day. I felt shaky and detached. I have been restless, anxious, and feeling like I am sleep deprived when I have actually been sleeping.

Coping with the Holidays: Suggested Resources 2025

[Updated January 18, 2026]

Self-care is how you take your power back. ~ Lalah Delia

When someone dearly loved has died, we grieve not only for that individual, but also for the life we used to have, the love that special someone gave us and all the memorable times we spent together. Perhaps there is no time of the year when we're more aware of the empty space our beloved has left behind than during the holiday season.

Anticipatory Grief: Staying Present When Loss Is Inevitable

In order to get from what was to what will be, you have to go through what is.  ~ Unknown

A reader writes: My husband has advanced-stage lung cancer, and I have to face the inevitable that he will die soon. It’s been 8 months; we’ve been married for 20 years. I’m sure that it’s normal, but the thoughts that are running through my head are driving me insane. I keep envisioning myself starting relationships with other men. I feel guilty like I’ve already moved on with my life. It’s survival instinct too, because I can’t support my kids on my own and I’m trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I love my husband dearly. I want to be focused on the present. How do I do that?

Using Alternative Healing in Grief

A wise man ought to realize that health is his most valuable possession. ~ Hippocrates

Alternative healing refers to a broad range of medical practices and therapies that are used instead of conventional (mainstream) medicine. These treatments are often based on cultural traditions, holistic approaches, or natural remedies. While some alternative therapies have scientific support, many lack rigorous clinical testing to confirm their effectiveness. Still, alternative therapies can be valuable tools for coping with grief by offering holistic approaches that address emotional, physical, and spiritual healing. 

Alternative therapies that may help during the grieving process include the following:

In Grief: Feeling Like More Is Going Wrong Than Right

Some of the best growth happens as a result of things going wrong.  ~ Nishan Panwar

A reader writes:  I am looking for suggestions. My story in short is I am six months in grief after my husband's unexpected suicide. It feels like more is going wrong than right and I am feeling like I'm on a sinking ship. My adult son, also grieving, lives with me and he is very resistant to seeing a grief councellor or anyone else. I was seeing someone but finances are such that I have to stop seeing her for awhile. 

Coping With STUGs (Subsequent Temporary Upsurges of Grief)

If the future seems overwhelming, remember that it comes one moment at a time.  ~ Beth Mende Conny

A reader writes: Since my husband died, I’ve grown used to having mood swings and waking up feeling pretty good one day and deeply depressed the next. I know these are normal grief reactions, and when one of the “rotten” days comes along it helps to tell myself it will pass. But then, even in the middle of a good day, sometimes suddenly the feelings of loss and hurt and abandonment overpower me with a force that’s like a direct hit from a shotgun. And everything I was doing comes to a complete halt and I’m immobilized and can’t do a thing, mentally or physically. Sometimes I’ll recover in a few hours, especially after a good cry. But at other times, it may take a day or two before I can bounce back. I’ve had these extreme shutdown spells so many times now, you’d think I would have learned a little about how to cope with them, or at least have some forewarning that another spell is coming on so I could prepare. But I don’t understand it—each time it happens, it’s like the first time and I’m caught by surprise. Why am I not getting any better at predicting or handling these crises?

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 31 - April 6, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

A new sense of urgency has emerged for healthcare organizations to develop "sustainable and accessible bereavement care" and to cultivate a "bereavement-conscious" workforce to position bereavement as an "inherent element of the duty of care," authors of a recent opinion piece asserted. Incorporating Bereavement Into the Continuum of Care « MedPage Today

Meditation and Mindfulness in Grief

by Mary Friedel-Hunt, MA, LCSW

Acceptance in the mindful context means that even when the unthinkable happens, we honor our self and our experience with dignity and kindness. Rather than turn our back on our own suffering, we treat ourselves as we would a beloved friend.  ~ Heather Stang

Research studies confirm that the practice of meditation and mindfulness changes our brains and our lives; reduces pain, anxiety, confusion and stress; boosts the immune system; and increases concentration, focus and compassion, among its many other benefits. In addition, the practice of meditation and mindfulness can assist us in healing our grief, because it helps us live in the present moment...where our grief resides.

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 4 - February 10, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

Advances in neuroimaging are helping people better understand psychological reactions and responses to grief. Just as someone is changed by the arrival of a loved one into their life, they are altered by their departure. Grieving isn’t the problem: It is a solution, hardwired to help individuals navigate the pain of loss. What We Get Wrong About Grieving « Psychology Today

Anxiety and Panic Attacks in Grief

A reader writes: I am trying to figure out if what I am going through is normal. I am thinking that it is probably some kind of panic or anxiety attack. It started when I had something upsetting happen totally unrelated to the death of my friend. Everything went okay with that situation but things seemed to get worse as the evening went on. Yesterday it was like I had tunnel vision all day. I felt shaky and detached.I have been restless, anxious, and feeling like I am sleep deprived when I have actually been sleeping.

Last night I had very bizarre nightmares that were very upsetting and frustrating and I am going through the day feeling odd. I have taken my blood pressure and it is low normal, cause I actually thought maybe my blood pressure had shot up or something. My heart rate is up though, close to 90 bpm. I have the sensation of panic. That's the only way I know how to describe it. Which is one of the reasons why I think this is a panic/anxiety attack. Has anyone else experienced this under the stress of a loss?  Read on here >>>

Grief Is Difficult

Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult -- once we truly understand and accept it ~ then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. ~ M. Scott Peck, MD

A reader writes:  I read in one of your recent posts a quotation from The Road Less Traveled about accepting the fact that life is difficult. I'm trying to understand the author's words but failing.

In Grief: Staying Present in The Face of Inevitable Loss

Find the latest version of this post here:

Anticipatory Grief: Staying Present When Loss Is Inevitable

A reader writes: My husband has advanced-stage lung cancer, and I have to face the inevitable that he will die soon. It’s been 8 months; we’ve been married for 20 years. I’m sure that it’s normal, but the thoughts that are running through my head are driving me insane. I keep envisioning myself starting relationships with other men. I feel guilty like I’ve already moved on with my life. It’s survival instinct too, because I can’t support my kids on my own and I’m trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I love my husband dearly. I want to be focused on the present. How do I do that?  Read on here >>>

Caregiving & Grief, March 29 - April 4, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

In this op-ed, "Teen Vogue" identity editor Brittney McNamara explains why it's okay to feel anticipatory grief over seemingly small things during the coronavirus crisis. Anticipatory Grief Is Real, and It's OK to Feel it During the Coronavirus Crisis « Teen Vogue

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 1 - December 7, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Few readers may realize how heavy a toll is taken by suicide during the years of high school, college, and young adulthood. Suicide in the Young, https://j.mp/36asMEr « AfterTalk Weekly

Yes. I know. I have a funny thing about time. And dates. I take time to reflect on time and what time is, or might be. It's About Time, https://j.mp/2rQgWAC « Soaring Spirits International

This is the third story in a four-part weekly series on meditation, including its benefits for pain management, mental health and overall well-being. How Meditation Can Ease the Path of Grieving, https://j.mp/2r8WmLT « NextAvenue

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 16 - December 22, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Christmas Eve Luminarias: A New Mexico Tradition, http://j.mp/2BC2rS2 « A Good Goodbye

Introducing the We Remember Memorialization Service, http://j.mp/2BxtvBZ « A Good Goodbye

Coping with The Holidays: Suggested Resources 2018, http://bit.ly/2AMA8Br « Grief Healing

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 24 - June 30, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Just Sit (and Other Simple Steps to Meditate Your Way Through Grief), http://j.mp/2tKw9kb « Modern Loss

I couldn’t fix you, http://j.mp/2ySu3Ev « The Grief Toolbox

Grief Support After An Overdose: Helping Families Heal, http://j.mp/2yO4lB1 « ASD

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 25 - March 31, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

My Easter Admission on Gratitude, Grief, and Ambivalence — and How Faith Factors in Consoling Friends, http://j.mp/2Gr9nag « What to Say When Someone Dies

Thanks For The Offer, But I Don't Know What I Need! http://j.mp/2GjaBnK « What's Your Grief?

How to Use Grief Dosing to Get Through the Day, http://j.mp/2DZxPsZ « Grieve Well

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 4 - March 10, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Is it time to "get back to life"? Grief doesn't work that way.  http://j.mp/2G8nHAI « Refuge In Grief

How to Tell When Technology Makes Anxiety Worse, http://j.mp/2G6Q7eq « PsychCentral

Tips for Talking with Children about Addiction and Overdose Loss, http://j.mp/2Fu8hWl « Hey Sigmund

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 9 - July 15, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Loneliness: 5 “Don’ts” If You’re Feeling Lonely After Loss,  http://j.mp/2unzHuG « The Grief Toolbox

Terrific interview: Children and Grief, http://j.mp/2unjSDV « Jewel 92 FM

Review: "Bearing the Unbearable" by Joanne Cacciatore, Ph.D., http://j.mp/2vl9cTC « Seven Ponds Blog

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 21 - May 27, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Never Long Enough - A new book of comfort and hope amidst grief and loss, http://bit.ly/2rZjdFr « Read The Spirit

The Long Game After Loss, http://bit.ly/2rGMh7h « Christina Rasmussen

When We Blame Ourselves, http://bit.ly/2s3v7Nt « The Grief Toolbox