Grief Has No Sexual Orientation

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

A reader writes: My heart is breaking. My partner died some time ago, yet it still feels as though it happened yesterday. I've recently received some very bad news about my own health, and more than ever I find myself needing my partner to be here with me. I feel as though my heart can bear no more. My soul feels empty without her. Everything about my life feels different, and it is so hard. I need to find other lesbians who have lost their spouse.

I attended a grief support group yesterday, and it was painfully difficult. During the introductory "check-in," the member who spoke after me said she would not be able to continue if I were allowed to stay in the group. She said lesbianism is a sin.

Caregiving and Hospice, October 22 - October 28, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Fact Sheet: Falls - The Biggest Threat to Senior Health and Safety, http://j.mp/2z0YEhF « Aging.com

Learning About 'Ambiguous Loss' Helps Some Caregivers Cope With Grief, http://j.mp/2yR7kVN  « KJZZ 91.5

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Caregiving and Hospice, May 21 - May 27, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Don't wait: Now's the time to discuss end-of-life care https://usat.ly/2r71Lyq « USA Today

Hospice care doesn't have to start at the end of life, http://bit.ly/2qpJNq1 « WRAL.com

What It Takes To Be A Hospice Nurse, http://bit.ly/2qhHLfm « Barbara Karnes, RN

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 21 - May 27, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Never Long Enough - A new book of comfort and hope amidst grief and loss, http://bit.ly/2rZjdFr « Read The Spirit

The Long Game After Loss, http://bit.ly/2rGMh7h « Christina Rasmussen

When We Blame Ourselves, http://bit.ly/2s3v7Nt « The Grief Toolbox

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 8 - May 14, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Sitting with Pain: Week 2 of BE-ing with Suffering, http://j.mp/1Ol5bH5 «  Hospice Times

When a death isn't peaceful, serene or good, http://j.mp/1WYIfPh « WhatsYourGrief?

Self Talk: What happens when we start to believe it? http://j.mp/1rEjlch « Rx for the Soul

Voices of Experience: Prayer for Safety ~ A Pastor's Response

by Michelle Jarvie

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays. ~ Soren Kierkegaard

It was a normal moment. The last meeting before Easter was coming to a close, the cookie container was emptying, people were discussing next steps. Sitting in my church’s conference room at a large rectangular table, I heard one of my colleagues say, “Let’s close in prayer.”

As the ISIS attack on Brussels occurred just one day before, the first prayer request was for the safety of a friend we all knew traveling in Europe. “I’d also like to pray for my children, who are traveling for Spring Break. Please bring them home safely,” another chimed.

I don’t think I heard anything after that. Instead, I felt my temperature rise, saw my husband’s body dragged on the road by a reckless SUV, and revisited many thoughts I’ve had hundreds of times before:

Caregiving and Hospice, August 9 - August 15, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

In the face of serious illness: Don't Say Nothing,  http://j.mp/1P4pzHL « Modern Loss

Signs of approaching death, http://j.mp/1hvyIid « Barbara Karnes, RN

In healthcare, focus on patient safety instead of patient satisfaction, http://j.mp/1EjUz0S « Kevin MD

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Pet Loss: Euthanizing An Aggressive Dog

[Reviewed and updated Septeber 9, 2024]

My personal feeling is that when faced with certain harm to a human or euthanasia for a pet... the human health and safety considerations take precedence. It is a "no win" situation for the family and the dog; but living in constant fear of injury from an unprovoked and unpredictable attack by an animal truly diminishes anyone's quality of life. ~ T.J. Dunn, Jr., DVM

A reader writes: I have a different kind of situation, one I grieve, but mostly feel guilty about. I adopted a puppy, loved it and took care of it. After a while, I noticed some aggressive tendencies, but underestimated the problem. It grew worse, and eventually there was nothing I could do. I put the dog to sleep. Now I feel really guilty about not knowing enough to do something. I do miss her terribly. I had her for a year and a half. Is it normal to grieve about this - for a pet I loved who turned aggressive, and for putting her down?

Caregiving After A Stroke: Suggested Resources

[Reviewed and updated January 29, 2024]

Every one of us needs to show how much we care for each other, and in the process, care for ourselves. ~ Princess Diana

A reader writes: In all the years I’ve known her, my mom (age 79) has never been sick. Since my dad died six months ago, she’s been in and out of hospitals four times. She suffered a stroke and has had multiple seizures, all coming out of nowhere! If that wasn't enough, we now have to have 24 hour, 7 day care to make sure she doesn't stroke/seize again. We can't afford around the clock care so we are doing it ourselves. My sisters and I are trying our best to fulfill this sometime overwhelming duty. I am pulling the graveyard shift and it is killing me....

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 21 - April 27, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

National Victims of Crime Week to increase understanding of Homicide Grief, http://bit.ly/11sVLul « Aftermath of Murder Survivor Stories

Powerful post on Lessons Learned: 6, http://j.mp/14YKyJV « Widow's Voice

Is it Harder to Mourn an Actual Loss or Loss of an Ideal You Never Had? http://j.mp/163b2cf « GoodTherapy.org

Hundreds of death, grief, thanatology experts gather at ADEC conference this week, http://huff.to/15YN2XK « Huffington Post

Book Review: “Closer Than You Think” discusses After-Death Communication, http://j.mp/11ZgXZi « SevenPonds Blog

Caregiving and Hospice, October 16 - October 22, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Keeping a Wheelchair-bound Loved One Comfortable http://ow.ly/75yP4 MT @CaregiverTweets

• Benefits of palliative care for seriously ill, http://ow.ly/72zwH via @ContinuumHCH @GetPalliative

• Personal stories about people's experience with hospice, http://ow.ly/73Xnq MT @HouHospice

• Jane Gross on the Failings of Medicare - Excellent review, http://ow.ly/74Olk by @geri_doc on @geripalblog 

• Caregiving Dilemma: The Undeserving Parent, nyti.ms/mQrtuO by @nytimeshealth via @emilybarryPR

Caregiving and Hospice, September 4 - September 10, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Accepting Help is Essential! Reach out before it is too late, http://dld.bz/ap8jf via @SeniorLivingMag

• When caregiving: Know Your Workplace Rights, http://bit.ly/ppW5pr via @CaringPeopleInc @Carebinders

• Audio advice on caregiving: aging in place, when loved one resists help, http://owl.li/6pVPk by @AgingWisely

• Ten Tips for an elder's safe hospital stay, http://bit.ly/plyA7G via @colpartners

• Finding time for what's important in caregiving, http://bit.ly/qJjIwn by @carisalz via @SageMinder

Caregiving and Hospice, February 20 - February 26

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Palliative care prolongs life, reduces suffering - USATODAY com, http://usat.ly/fnIf5C

• Awe-inspiring things can happen in hospice! http://ht.ly/41MIJ Beautiful post from @HospiceCLT via @AliveHospice

• Kevin Pho, MD: Be vigilant in checking sources of health information on the Web!! http://aol.it/i8VNc1

• Oncologists' organization encourages dialogue with dying patients, http://bit.ly/fa34vB

• Truly beautiful letter by Hospice Chaplain: What hospice is all about, http://bit.ly/grA9CO via @hospicepharmacy

Buckle Up and Embrace Life

Entitled Embrace Life, this video is an original approach to road safety advertising from the UK's Sussex Safer Roads Partnership, whose mission is to reduce road casualties "with the three E's - Education, Engineering and Enforcement."

It is one of the most effective safety advertisements I've ever seen, and I wish it could be viewed by everyone who enters an automobile, before anyone ever starts the engine. 



© 2010 Sarah Alexander/Daniel Cox/Sussex Safer Roads Partnership.  Presented here with written permission of Sarah Alexander, Alexander Commercials.