Voices of Experience: My Second Chapter: Life, Marriage, Family

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A great relationship is about two things: first, appreciating the similarities and second, respecting the diffrences.  ~ Anonymous

Michelle Jarvie is a mentor, educator and author of Then and Now: Changed Perspectives of a Young Widow, her book about surviving the traumatic death of her first husband James, who was killed in a motor vehicle crash in 2008. Michelle remarried five years later, and now lives with her husband Sean and their daughter Ruthie in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Connect with her online at MichelleJarvie.com.

Many people ask me, What’s it really like being re-married? My widow(er) friends want to know if I’m as happy as I was in my first marriage, if I compare my two husbands, why I’d risk being a widow again, and most importantly, if my new husband is understanding. Can you talk about James with him? Is he jealous?

Voices of Experience: Prayer for Safety ~ A Pastor's Response

by Michelle Jarvie

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays. ~ Soren Kierkegaard

It was a normal moment. The last meeting before Easter was coming to a close, the cookie container was emptying, people were discussing next steps. Sitting in my church’s conference room at a large rectangular table, I heard one of my colleagues say, “Let’s close in prayer.”

As the ISIS attack on Brussels occurred just one day before, the first prayer request was for the safety of a friend we all knew traveling in Europe. “I’d also like to pray for my children, who are traveling for Spring Break. Please bring them home safely,” another chimed.

I don’t think I heard anything after that. Instead, I felt my temperature rise, saw my husband’s body dragged on the road by a reckless SUV, and revisited many thoughts I’ve had hundreds of times before:

Voices of Experience: Standing Up for What You Need When Grieving

by Michelle Jarvie

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people. ~ Spencer Johnson

In an article I wrote earlier this year, I shared the letter I wish I could’ve received after my husband was killed. It focused on validation and simplifying expectations for the truly important things to do in those initial months. It also held hope: for various coping mechanisms, helping others through grief, and in someday being a mother.

Voices of Experience: Reconnecting and Healing with Nature ~ T. Roosevelt and Me

There are no words that can tell the hidden spirit of the wilderness, that can reveal its mystery, its melancholy, and its charm. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Michelle Jarvie is an author and educator from Minneapolis, MN. In her beautiful essay below, she describes how she chose to observe the 36th birthday of her deceased husband: by honoring past memories, making new ones, and incorporating the healing power of nature. Michelle invites readers to connect with her online at her website, MichelleJarvie.com. See also Amazon's description and reviews of her recently published book, Then and Now: Changed Perspectives of a Young Widow.