Sunday, September 15, 2019

Caregiving & Grief Tweets, September 8 - September 14, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:
 
5 Myths about Grief You May Believe, https://j.mp/2NfrYJ3 « Psychology Today

The NIH just appointed a dentist and a biologist to lead the NINR (National Institute of Nursing Research). Non-nurses aren't qualified to evaluate grants for nursing research! Please join in asking the NIH to recall these two appointments and appoint nurses now, https://j.mp/2UQ6CDe « The Truth About Nursing

Chasing My Cure: A Doctor's Race to Turn Hope into Action: After nearly dying five times, a young doctor learned to treat himself, https://bit.ly/2UQLrko « STAT

Monday, September 9, 2019

Voices of Experience: Why Are We So Afraid to Cry?

By Sarah Neustadter, PhD

Tearless grief bleeds inwardly.  ~ Christian Nevell Bovee

“They” say “the only way out is through.” And it’s fucking annoying and cliché. But it’s true. The grieving is a crazy journey. Madness. Insanity. Never-ending, in some ways. But it is also transformative, if you allow it and shape it. Your shell’s been cracked open and something new is emerging. If you go in there and live it, experience it like your life depends on it (and it does), I guarantee that when you pop out the other side of it, you will be different. You will feel things in new ways and experience life from a perspective you never thought possible. You might not want to hear it, you might not see it or believe it, and you certainly don’t want it, but I invite you to feel it as fully as you can. Your power is in there. Claim it. Get what’s yours.

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Caregiving & Grief Tweets, September 1 - September 7, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Aid in Dying: A Podcast with Lewis Cohen https://j.mp/2ZFyiAh « GeriPal

Facing Loss: When Hope and Grief Co-Exist, https://j.mp/2HO4OFv « What's Your Grief?

A thank you from doctors to nurses, https://j.mp/2HNPzMM « Kevin MD

Monday, September 2, 2019

In Grief: Teen's Driving Results in CADI (Causing Accidental Death or Injury to Another)

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 
A reader writes: Two weeks ago my nephew was involved in a terrible auto accident. He was driving at night during a heavy thunderstorm when one of his rear tires blew out. He lost control of his car, skidded off the highway and ended up hitting a tree. His girlfriend was in the passenger seat and did not survive the accident. My nephew is only 17 years old and is not handling this well at all. I am worried about him and don’t know what I can do to help. 

Sunday, September 1, 2019

Caregiving, Grief & Pet Loss Tweets, August 25 - August 31, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Times Like These, I Wish You Were Here, http://j.mp/2HCBrWt « What's Your Grief?

The Grief of an Overdose Death — and How You Can Support Someone Grieving a Substance Use Loss, https://j.mp/32dvIhN « Center on Addiction

Managing Grief in the Workplace, https://j.mp/32lxPQR « Thrive Global

Monday, August 26, 2019

In Grief: Re-Visiting Past Losses

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. ~ Søren Kierkegaard

A reader writes: I lost my youngest brother to an unfortunate incident a little over 20 years ago. We were stopped at a rest area and Dave was bitten by a
rattlesnake. I remember it as if it were yesterday. The memories are so painful that I can’t even stand the sight of snakes. If we go to the zoo my children are upset with me because I refuse to go anywhere near the exhibit. But it still is so fresh in my mind. The following year after my
brother’s passing my mother was diagnosed with cancer of her intestines.
In the 1980's there wasn’t a lot that could be done. Within a year she
was gone as well. I know I should be over this by now but it still hurts
very much.

Sunday, August 25, 2019

Caregiving, Grief & Pet Loss Tweets, August 18 - August 24, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Daughter fights mom's wish to go on hospice, https://j.mp/30r6XOB « INFORUM

My Friend Is Dying and Doesn't Want Me to Contact Her, https://j.mp/30p4TXk « The Atlantic

Pet Loss: When Guilt Overshadows Grief, https://j.mp/2Ziiwdy « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Monday, August 19, 2019

Pet Loss: When Guilt Overshadows Grief

Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you.  ~ Veronica Roth

A reader writes: My sister told me about you and your wonderful dedication to helping those suffering the loss of a furry companion. I thank you for your dedication and compassion that we can find in very few people with whom we come in contact on a day-to-day basis.  The guilt that I suffer right now, along with an intense sense of loss and sorrow, is not related to euthanasia or questions like, "Why am I feeling this way?"

Sunday, August 18, 2019

Caregiving, Grief & Pet Loss Tweets, August 11 - August 17, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Unmentionables [in Grief], by Ken Doka, https://j.mp/2Ze3g1i « Journeys

5 Benefits of Grief Journaling, https://j.mp/2Zcim7A « What's Your Grief?

The questions surgeons need to ask their seniors before surgery, https://j.mp/2Z5pYsE « Kevin MD

Monday, August 12, 2019

Voices of Experience: A Physician's Personal Lessons From Loss

Image by truthseeker08 from Pixabay
By Dr. Caroline Macari, with Foreword and Afterword by Una Harrington

Originally published as Grief in the ED - Personal Lessons from Loss, Dr. Macari's story first appeared on the WRaP EM blog and is reprinted here with permission.

Foreword: In early 2019, I travelled to Sydney to take part in the NSW ED Wellbeing day. While I was there, I heard this honest and poignant story from Dr. Caroline Macari. The effect this story had on those in the room was palpable. There was such power in her message that I asked if she would publish her story. She kindly agreed and has written her story down here for WRaP EM.

Sunday, August 11, 2019

Caregiving & Grief Tweets, August 4 - August 10, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

"One Lone Tear", Dementia at End of Life, https://j.mp/2ZUkcqE « BK Books

How to deal with grief, pain and anxiety after the mass shootings,  https://j.mp/2YRtczG « Today

In Grief: Mourning The Murder of An Abusive Father, https://j.mp/2Zzh7MK « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Monday, August 5, 2019

In Grief: Mourning The Murder of An Abusive Father

Image by Mystic Art Design from Pixabay
A girl’s first true love is her father.  ~ Marisol Santiago

A reader writes: My eccentric father was murdered in January. I can't deny that he was an angry, abusive person, but I also knew he loved me. I learned to draw boundaries with him and we developed a deep connection in the past few years as I helped care for him. My family is worried/angry because they don't think I should be so "upset" by his murder. Of course, I understand what they mean, but I was closer to him than they were and I was able to forgive him, mostly. At least I was able to forgive him enough that I could see the wonderful, amazing things about him, too. And anyway, I can't help or deny how I feel! So I am trying to keep this part of myself hidden from my mom and siblings, mostly to spare myself the annoyance caused by their well-meaning interventions.

Sunday, August 4, 2019

Grief & Caregiving Tweets, July 28 - August 3, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Alone, together: the comfort of a pet when you’re grieving, https://bit.ly/2LXxzDn « Sue Ryder

How To Help Children Handle Grief After The Death Of A Parent, https://j.mp/2LZhUU2 « HuffPost Life

‘Like Being in an Ocean’: The Many Stages of Grief, https://j.mp/330tSlK « Web MD

Monday, July 29, 2019

In Grief: No Sense of "Collective Closure" After Dad's Death

Image by Ian Lindsay from Pixabay
When words are inadequate, have a ritual.  ~ Author Unknown

A reader writes: As soon as they learned that my father had died, the most beautiful flowers and lovely cards from friends and relatives around the country began to arrive at my door. Knowing that so many people are there for me and that all of them care means so much to me.

Still, all of this is so very, very odd-feeling, and I hope you can help me to understand why. My step-mother arbitrarily decided that, in her opinion, my father didn't know enough people in their town to make having a funeral or memorial service for him there "worth the effort." She had his body cremated virtually instantly, and she says we'll probably scatter his ashes over Long Island Sound sometime this summer.

Sunday, July 28, 2019

Pet Loss, Grief & Caregiving Tweets, July 21 - July 27, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why the Death of a Pet Can Feel Worse than Losing a Human Loved One, http://j.mp/32RPEIl « PEOPLE.com

Kate Bowler: How to Speak to Someone Who's Suffering « The Atlantic http://j.mp/2K6nlNE

WWRMD - What Would Rhoda Morgenstern Do? http://j.mp/2K4EJCm « Thrive Global

Monday, July 22, 2019

Pet Loss: Sibling's Insensitivity Causes Family Discord

Medicine to produce health must examine disease; and music, to create harmony must investigate discord.  ~ Plutarch

A reader writes: Two years ago my husband of 50 years died in his sleep, suddenly and unexpectedly. We have three grown children who live near our home, and for that, I am truly blessed. Our eldest son is single, our daughter is a single parent with a 16 year old son, and our younger son is married with two boys, ages 5 and 2. Both my husband and I were brought up in homes that never had pets and nobody ever asked for one. We raised our three children in homes with no pets and nobody ever asked to have a pet. So we do not know pet protocol and, of course, we’ve never experienced the death of a pet. 

Sunday, July 21, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 14- July 20, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief-Sensitive School Initiative, http://j.mp/2O4OIN7 « New York Life Insurance Company

6 Ways to Support a Grieving Teen, http://j.mp/32yWsKu « Modern Loss

Traveling with Grief, http://j.mp/2O2iNwO « The Artful Caregiver

Monday, July 15, 2019

Voices of Experience: Surviving Complicated Grief

Sydell with her husband Rex, 2013
By Sydell Weiner, PhD

The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief ~ but the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love.  ~ Hillary Stanton Zunin

Even though she is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Sydell Weiner writes that when her husband died nearly 3 years ago, "I fell apart. I was fortunate to find a 'Loss of Spouse' group at the Gathering Place, a service provided through Trinity Hospice at Providence Little Company of Mary. No sooner had that group ended, that a workshop called 'The Write Way' began. It provided guidance on how to use writing as a way of healing and working through grief. I have a blog on my website which had one or two counseling articles, but they were soon replaced by a series of blog posts that allowed me to express feelings too raw to talk about." The following post is taken from that series, and is reprinted here with Sydell's permission.

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Pet Loss, Grief & Caregiving Tweets, July 7 - July 13, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Crossing The Rainbow Bridge: Signs That The End Of Life Is Near, http://j.mp/32oDl64 « iHeartDogs.com

He Trots the Air, http://j.mp/2NYnNCy « Outside Online

In Grief: "I Didn't Want My Mom To See Me Cry," http://j.mp/2YFGgF9 « Grief Healing

Monday, July 8, 2019

In Grief: "I Didn't Want My Mom To See Me Cry"

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay
Tears are words waiting to be written.  ~ Paulo Coelho

A reader writes:  My mom always told me I was overly sensitive. If someone in my family was ill, she wouldn't tell me because she knew it would make me cry. She hated to see me cry and always told me so. When my mom was in the hospital I did not want to upset her, so I would not let her see me cry. I held back my tears. I did not want her to know how scared I was because I did not want her to be more scared. I didn't even cry in front of her until the last day and she was already gone. Even when she was breathing on the machine, until her last breath, she didn't see me cry for her. I did not want to upset her. I did not want her to suffer ever. Mom always did the right thing. I wish I would have done a better job for her. Yes I did love on her and tell her how much we all loved her, just should have done everything different.

Sunday, July 7, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 30 - July 6, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

It’s Time to Let the Five Stages of Grief Die, http://bit.ly/2FYxJpn « McGillOSS

Book Review: The Unexpected Journey of Caring: The Transformation from Loved One to Caregiver, http://j.mp/2FO6PjY « Well Spouse Association

In Grief: Use Caution When Seeking Comfort, http://j.mp/2YvcFOI « Grief Healing

Monday, July 1, 2019

In Grief: Use Caution When Seeking Comfort

Image by Lindsay_Jayne on Pixabay
The guru days are over. It's time to consult our inner wisdom. ~ Belleruth Naparstek

A reader writes: One of my recent problems has to to do with a book I’m reading, consisting mainly of writings and 'lectures' by a man who claims to be an actual avatar, a real embodiment of God Itself, and whose claims of how things really are, and how a continuing life might be for anyone, are very, very close to what I already believed to be the most logical and sensible way things probably worked. BUT, a few of the things he says have also been not only different, but quite frightening, at least to me.

Sunday, June 30, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 23 - June 29, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

It Hurts Each Time you say "Suicide is Preventable" by Kelley Ford, http://j.mp/2YdJG1G « The Gift of Second

Grief Poems: The After Loss Credo, http://j.mp/2YpJI6N « AfterTalk

What's the Right Thing to Say When Someone Is Grieving? http://j.mp/2ZUoYEt « Psychology Today

Monday, June 24, 2019

Using Movies in A Grief Support Group Setting

Image by Brett Hondow from Pixabay
Everything I learned 
I learned from the movies.
~ Audrey Hepburn

A  colleague writes: I am a hospice bereavement counselor in the Great Plains region of the US. On the web, I ran across your blog post, Using Movies to Move through Grief. It is a great article and very helpful. I am considering showing some of the movies you suggested at our grief support group. In your work as a grief counselor, have you used movies in a support group setting? If so, how did it go? Are there any movies in particular that would work well for a group format? I would appreciate any insights you may have. 

Sunday, June 23, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 16 - June 22, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What is the Treatment for Complicated Grief? http://j.mp/2FqU2DX « Seven Ponds Blog

Grief's New Normal, http://j.mp/2ZzGj5p « Widower's Grief

How a Psychic Medium Broke Through My June Gloom, http://j.mp/2ZGLq3U  « Modern Loss

Monday, June 17, 2019

Pet Loss: A Letter of Thanks

Image by June Laves from Pixabay 
[There are] two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we take; the larger kind we feel for what we give.  ~ Edwin Arlington Robinson

A reader writes: Dear Marty, I want to express my gratitude to you personally for the comfort and strength you have given me and others like myself who have lost special companion animals. My cat of eleven and a half years died of kidney disease. We had him euthanized when the disease had progressed to the point where, although he still had his dignity and awareness, he was so painfully thin and weak that we knew he was very tired; he had "fought the good fight," and it was time to let him go. 

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 9 - June 15, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What is Complicated Grief? http://j.mp/2IhVmeb « Seven Ponds Blog

Fathers Day approaches. Reminders are everywhere, a source of additional pain for so many people, in so many different ways. This week we'll be sharing links related to Father's Day, starting with a selection of grief resources collected by Grief Healing, http://bit.ly/2t3YL7I « Refuge in Grief

The Fog of Grief and How to Deal With It, http://j.mp/2Rfnkdk « NextAvenue

Monday, June 10, 2019

Voices of Experience: Caregiver Recovery versus Bereavement

Nancy with her husband Larry 
It is not the load that breaks you down. It’s the way you carry it.  ~ Lena Horne, singer

By Nancy Hardaway

In the introduction to her website The Artful Caregiver, blogger Nancy Hardaway acknowledges that ~ after years of caring for her widowed mother, then her widowed sister and finally her husband ~ it was only in retrospect that she identified herself as a caregiver. Through her blog, she decided to share her caregiving journey "in the hopes that someone can be helped by what they read - that some benefit can come from all that we experience." Two months ago, Nancy's beloved husband Larry succumbed to the rare neurodegenerative disease that finally claimed his life. Now in the aftermath of devastating loss, Nancy continues sharing her hard-won "wisdom, woes, triumphs and tips," offering her insights as she transitions from life as a caregiver into that of a bereaved spouse.

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, June 2 - June 8, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Paging Dr. Spot, http://j.mp/2WOYOVG « AAMC News

Does Medicine Have a Wall of Silence? http://j.mp/2WMChbX « Medpage Today

The Truth about Hospice, http://j.mp/2QOU7po « Benevilla

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 2 - June 8, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How Can You Recover Emotionally After Causing Accidental Death or Injury? http://j.mp/2R0bYd1 « Seven Ponds Blog

18 Caregiving Skills I Can Use on Me! http://j.mp/2R02Vc7 « The Artful Caregiver

Creativity in Grief, http://j.mp/2QWAL1v « Grief Dialogues Blog

Coping with Pet Loss, June 2 - June 8, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Pet Grief Is Traumatic: Harder Than Losing a Human Friend, Study Finds http://j.mp/2QLGdnS « Wide Open Pets

Researchers Reveal That Losing A Dog Can Be As Hard As Losing A Loved One, http://j.mp/2QWmSkh « Power of Positivity

The gifts our dying dog gave to my sons, http://j.mp/2KnBMyI « The Washington Post

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Monday, June 3, 2019

In Grief: Setting Clear Boundaries

Boundaries in child-parent relationships basically establish that you're an adult with your own rights, choices, preferences and capacities.  ~ JR Thorpe

A reader writes: We lost our dad 5 months ago and my mother-in-law 3 months ago. My mom is constantly complaining that my 2 siblings and I are not doing more for her. I'm feeling very depressed with all the guilt she is putting on me.

Sunday, June 2, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 26 - June 1, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How Do you Move Forward After Causing Accidental Death Or Injury (CADI)? http://j.mp/2KlfOMr « Seven Ponds Blog

Grief Looks a Lot Like 'Crazy' http://j.mp/2KcKpvS « Modern Loss

Review: Dead to Me Is a Quietly Radical Depiction of Grief’s Emotional Haze, http://j.mp/2Iab7mh « Slant Magazine

Monday, May 27, 2019

Using Movies to Move Through Grief

Image by stokpic from Pixabay 
[Reviewed and updated August 31, 2019]

I've got plenty of people I can do something with -- just none I can do nothing with.  ~ Widower Joe Warr (Clive Owen) in The Boys Are Back

Movies and DVD rentals that dramatize others coming to terms with their pain may serve as a valuable tool to help you and your family members better understand and move through the grieving process.

Getting in touch with the painful feelings of grief and releasing blocked or pent-up emotions by having a good cry can be cleansing and stress-reducing. Movies can be an effective tool in addressing certain grief issues, especially when your selections are made consciously and deliberately.

Sunday, May 26, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, May 19 - May 25, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Insightful and informative: Caregiver Recovery versus Bereavement, http://j.mp/2VVSBHT « The Artful Caregiver

How to Plan for Weddings AND Funerals, http://j.mp/2VRCKKz « A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die

3 things about psychiatry that don't focus on pathology, http://j.mp/2VVjFa8 « Kevin MD

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 19 - May 25, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Kelli Auerbach on becoming an orphan in her 20s: "I’d never understood how much my identity was entwined with being someone’s child." http://j.mp/2I7Z5tF « The New York Times

Things to Consider When Parenting Grieving Children, http://j.mp/2W3sMWe « Heal Grief

Loss, Grief, and Post-traumatic Growth, http://j.mp/2W2HDk2 « The Compassionate Friends

Monday, May 20, 2019

Voices of Experience: How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents

By Jacqueline Marcell

I want to tell you how much I miss my mother. Bits of her are still there. I miss her most when I am sitting across from her.  ~ Candy Crowley

Jacqueline Marcell is a former television executive who gave up her career to take care of her challenging elderly father and sweet mother, both with undiagnosed Alzheimer’s. The experience was so shocking that it compelled her to write her first book, Elder Rage, or Take My Father, Please!, to help caregivers avoid all the pitfalls she experienced and to prevent their frustrations from escalating to any form of elder abuse. Here she offers a glimpse of her caregiving journey:

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 12 - May 18, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Working while mourning: How to grieve when you're on the job, http://j.mp/2HCEMUz « NBC News

Am I Going Crazy or Grieving? http://bit.ly/2HuIi3C « Shine On Counseling

Why we need to talk about grief, http://j.mp/2HI9wUz « Harper's Bazaar

Monday, May 13, 2019

Pet Loss: Death of A Service Dog

A service dog can mean a whole new way of life for the handicapped. The activities that able-bodied people take for granted now can be routine for the disabled also, with the help of a four-footed therapist.  ~ Janet Ruckert, EdD

A reader writes: I have been looking at your websites and the materials that you offer for pet loss. I'm wondering if any of it would be of help to me. I lost my dear sweet black Lab Service Dog to malignant melanoma just a few weeks ago. She was not a pet ~ she was my assistant and helper and light of my life for nine and a half years. She was my constant companion and went with me everywhere. She helped me every day both physically and emotionally. I use a wheelchair and a specially converted rampvan for mobility. If I fell my dog would go find help for me. Her loss has left an unbelievably huge hole in my heart. I let her go because I could not and would not let her continue to hurt like I know that she was. I need her so much and just can't seem to let myself get on with the things I need to do in my life without her.

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 5 - May 11, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Forget the Flowers and Skip the Brunch. I Hate Mother’s Day. http://j.mp/2VrUfAF « Medium

Parents Who Lost A Child Need A Day Like Mother's And Father's Day, http://j.mp/2HnstvB « The Federalist

Writing a Book With My Mom Kept Her Memory Alive, http://j.mp/2Vjl4qO  « Modern Loss

Monday, May 6, 2019

Parent Loss: Grieving An Elderly Mother

We knew and loved our mothers our whole life. It's no mystery why it hurts so much and why it takes so long to heal.  ~ Elaine Mallon 

A reader writes: Yesterday was the 4th month anniversary of my Mom's death. I still feel that after this time I have not fully grieved over her, or that if I do, I will not emerge from the pit of despair. I have been beset by material problems that have distracted me from grief, problems that are connected with her death. I feel that my mind is fracturing, that I am being hemmed in and trapped by everything, and there will be no end to this suffering. It is a constant companion that seems to not ever want to leave.

Sunday, May 5, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 28 - May 4, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Hospice Journey, http://j.mp/2GTYZoG « Widower's Grief

‘My Death Stories Are My Birth Stories’ http://j.mp/2GUJJI3 « Modern Loss

We All Have A Grief Secret, http://j.mp/2H0tUjh « What's Your Grief?

Monday, April 29, 2019

In Grief: Supporting the Survivor of Suicide Loss

Image by Pexels from Pixabay
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.  ~ Helen Keller

A reader writes: Six months ago I learned that a dear friend’s husband died by suicide. He was found hanging in their garage. As horrible as that was, I’ve just been told that yesterday their 17-year-old son took his own life too, and in the very same way. We are all in a state of shock. I don’t know what I can do to help her. I don’t even know where to begin. Would you have any suggestions or words of wisdom for me?

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 21 - April 27, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Out of Grief Comes Faith, http://j.mp/2VnpsEs « The Grief Dialogues

Grief After Accidents, Suicide, and Other Sudden Losses, http://j.mp/2VuxStu « Crossroads

Why losing a dog can be harder than losing a relative or friend, http://j.mp/2KYWWEX « AfterTalk

Monday, April 22, 2019

Voices of Experience: A Glimpse of Life After Loss

By Sharon McCuistian

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.  ~ Havelock Ellis

After the sudden, unexpected death of her husband, Sharon Ellis McCuistian found herself a widow at the age of 48. With two grown children in college, Sharon had to find a way to live in her new reality. She turned to the things she loved to help in her journey through grief: faith, family, friends, and her love of words. Writing became the cathartic venue by which she began to process her loss. That writing grew into her blog, Now Choose Life, where the following post first appeared. It is reprinted here with her permission.

Sunday, April 21, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, April 14 - April 20, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Caring for a Loved One: The Letter Every Caregiver Should Write, http://j.mp/2KUo6Nx « Grief In Common

8 Things to Consider Regarding End of Life Pain Management, http://j.mp/2Pmag4X « BK Books

How to Find the Right Words for Someone in Hospice, http://bit.ly/2H7LQuA « Next Avenue

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 14 - April 20, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Out of Grief Comes Emotion, http://j.mp/2PiE96c « The Grief Dialogues

Grief Mistakes, http://j.mp/2PiWqAb « Soaring Spirits International

The Griever's Bill of Rights, http://j.mp/2Pm00tG « Refuge In Grief

Monday, April 15, 2019

In Grief: What's Age Got To Do With It?

If you were 12 years old, no one would believe it odd that you would grieve the loss of your mom, so why do we assume it is easier 50 years later?  Those 50 additional years carry even more shared memories.  ~ Kenneth Doka

A reader writes: I am writing because I had a negative interaction with a store clerk about the death of my mother and I am stunned at how sensitive I am to the insensitivity of strangers. I need some kind of reality check.

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 7 - April 13, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What not to say to a bereaved person, http://j.mp/2P8tPxo « AK Lander

Recognizing The Vital Role of Hospice Volunteers, http://bit.ly/2IZUOHk « Grief Healing

My Sudden-Onset Only Child Syndrome, http://j.mp/2uWWvAt « Modern Loss

Monday, April 8, 2019

Caregiving and Grief in Alzheimer's and Dementia: Suggested Resources

[Reviewed and updated September 11, 2019]

Grief is the constant yet hidden companion of Alzheimer's disease and other related dementias.  ~ Kenneth J. Doka

A hospice colleague writes: We are preparing a program on issues of caring for those with dementia (and their caregivers) who are bereaved, as well as caring for the bereaved whose loved ones had dementia. If you find any relevant material on these issues, I would appreciate anything you can share.

Sunday, April 7, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, March 31 - April 6, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Hospice of the Valley program offers the dying solace, companionship, http://j.mp/2OPX1t8 « AZCentral

Growing Old Is Better With a Pet. Here's Why, http://j.mp/2uNs2oa « TIME

Palliative Care instead of “pseudomedicine” for dementia? http://j.mp/2OBYNh9 « CaregivingOldGuy.website

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 31 - April 6, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Out of Grief Comes Spirit, http://j.mp/2OT5Gel « The Grief Dialogues

Did my child die because I lacked faith? http://j.mp/2ORwlYR « emotionally naked

3 Suicides Last Month Connected to School Shootings, http://j.mp/2OUdywg  « Seven Ponds Blog

Monday, April 1, 2019

When Grief Affects Performance At Work

Image by athree23 on Pixabay
Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.  ~ Fred Rogers

A reader writes: This past year was a very difficult one for me and my family.   My father was diagnosed with a terminal illness and passed 7 months later. The day he died my mother-in-law was hospitalized and a few days later we found out she had stage 4 cancer and had only a few months left. She died 2 months later. I took one month compassionate care leave to look after my father and two bereavement leaves, and most of the year I was in a fog. It was very difficult to watch my father suffer over several months before he passed away at home.

Sunday, March 31, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, March 24 - March 30, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Jacqueline Marcell - Elderly Patient Care, http://j.mp/2Ov9cLK « Throomers

I Hear You, But I Don't Understand, http://j.mp/2OqXEsN « BK Books

Alex Trebek, Cancer, and the Language of Life-Limiting Illness, http://j.mp/2OoyzyJ « Seven Ponds Blog

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 24 - March 30, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How To Talk To Your Kids About Death And Grief, http://j.mp/2OxehTR « HuffPost Australia

'Stay Strong,' And Other Useless Drivel We Tell The Grieving, http://j.mp/2FITl9q « Cognoscenti

Out of Grief Comes Community, http://j.mp/2FKuja7 « Grief Dialogues Blog

Monday, March 25, 2019

Pet Loss: Was My Cat Saying Goodbye?

A reader writes: This past weekend, my Puff (14+year-old cat) left this world and went to a better place. The other day she kissed my face all over and then licked my neck--with such gusto too--a contrast to how she became as she got older, blind and not able to stand. I think a 2-day heat wave contributed to her demise--but she hasn't been herself for months. The vet figures it was a neurological problem such as a brain tumor, or stroke--like my late but great grandma would say, "whatever it was, it wasn't good"-- the time had come.