Monday, July 15, 2019

Voices of Experience: Surviving Complicated Grief

Sydell with her husband Rex, 2013
By Sydell Weiner, PhD

The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief ~ but the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love.  ~ Hillary Stanton Zunin

Even though she is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Sydell Weiner writes that when her husband died nearly 3 years ago, "I fell apart. I was fortunate to find a 'Loss of Spouse' group at the Gathering Place, a service provided through Trinity Hospice at Providence Little Company of Mary. No sooner had that group ended, that a workshop called 'The Write Way' began. It provided guidance on how to use writing as a way of healing and working through grief. I have a blog on my website which had one or two counseling articles, but they were soon replaced by a series of blog posts that allowed me to express feelings too raw to talk about." The following post is taken from that series, and is reprinted here with Sydell's permission.

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Pet Loss, Grief & Caregiving Tweets, July 7 - July 13, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Crossing The Rainbow Bridge: Signs That The End Of Life Is Near, http://j.mp/32oDl64 « iHeartDogs.com

He Trots the Air, http://j.mp/2NYnNCy « Outside Online

In Grief: "I Didn't Want My Mom To See Me Cry," http://j.mp/2YFGgF9 « Grief Healing

Monday, July 8, 2019

In Grief: "I Didn't Want My Mom To See Me Cry"

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay
Tears are words waiting to be written.  ~ Paulo Coelho

A reader writes:  My mom always told me I was overly sensitive. If someone in my family was ill, she wouldn't tell me because she knew it would make me cry. She hated to see me cry and always told me so. When my mom was in the hospital I did not want to upset her, so I would not let her see me cry. I held back my tears. I did not want her to know how scared I was because I did not want her to be more scared. I didn't even cry in front of her until the last day and she was already gone. Even when she was breathing on the machine, until her last breath, she didn't see me cry for her. I did not want to upset her. I did not want her to suffer ever. Mom always did the right thing. I wish I would have done a better job for her. Yes I did love on her and tell her how much we all loved her, just should have done everything different.

Sunday, July 7, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 30 - July 6, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

It’s Time to Let the Five Stages of Grief Die, http://bit.ly/2FYxJpn « McGillOSS

Book Review: The Unexpected Journey of Caring: The Transformation from Loved One to Caregiver, http://j.mp/2FO6PjY « Well Spouse Association

In Grief: Use Caution When Seeking Comfort, http://j.mp/2YvcFOI « Grief Healing

Monday, July 1, 2019

In Grief: Use Caution When Seeking Comfort

Image by Lindsay_Jayne on Pixabay
The guru days are over. It's time to consult our inner wisdom. ~ Belleruth Naparstek

A reader writes: One of my recent problems has to to do with a book I’m reading, consisting mainly of writings and 'lectures' by a man who claims to be an actual avatar, a real embodiment of God Itself, and whose claims of how things really are, and how a continuing life might be for anyone, are very, very close to what I already believed to be the most logical and sensible way things probably worked. BUT, a few of the things he says have also been not only different, but quite frightening, at least to me.

Sunday, June 30, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 23 - June 29, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

It Hurts Each Time you say "Suicide is Preventable" by Kelley Ford, http://j.mp/2YdJG1G « The Gift of Second

Grief Poems: The After Loss Credo, http://j.mp/2YpJI6N « AfterTalk

What's the Right Thing to Say When Someone Is Grieving? http://j.mp/2ZUoYEt « Psychology Today

Monday, June 24, 2019

Using Movies in A Grief Support Group Setting

Image by Brett Hondow from Pixabay
Everything I learned 
I learned from the movies.
~ Audrey Hepburn

A  colleague writes: I am a hospice bereavement counselor in the Great Plains region of the US. On the web, I ran across your blog post, Using Movies to Move through Grief. It is a great article and very helpful. I am considering showing some of the movies you suggested at our grief support group. In your work as a grief counselor, have you used movies in a support group setting? If so, how did it go? Are there any movies in particular that would work well for a group format? I would appreciate any insights you may have. 

Sunday, June 23, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 16 - June 22, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What is the Treatment for Complicated Grief? http://j.mp/2FqU2DX « Seven Ponds Blog

Grief's New Normal, http://j.mp/2ZzGj5p « Widower's Grief

How a Psychic Medium Broke Through My June Gloom, http://j.mp/2ZGLq3U  « Modern Loss

Monday, June 17, 2019

Pet Loss: A Letter of Thanks

Image by June Laves from Pixabay 
[There are] two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we take; the larger kind we feel for what we give.  ~ Edwin Arlington Robinson

A reader writes: Dear Marty, I want to express my gratitude to you personally for the comfort and strength you have given me and others like myself who have lost special companion animals. My cat of eleven and a half years died of kidney disease. We had him euthanized when the disease had progressed to the point where, although he still had his dignity and awareness, he was so painfully thin and weak that we knew he was very tired; he had "fought the good fight," and it was time to let him go. 

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 9 - June 15, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What is Complicated Grief? http://j.mp/2IhVmeb « Seven Ponds Blog

Fathers Day approaches. Reminders are everywhere, a source of additional pain for so many people, in so many different ways. This week we'll be sharing links related to Father's Day, starting with a selection of grief resources collected by Grief Healing, http://bit.ly/2t3YL7I « Refuge in Grief

The Fog of Grief and How to Deal With It, http://j.mp/2Rfnkdk « NextAvenue

Monday, June 10, 2019

Voices of Experience: Caregiver Recovery versus Bereavement

Nancy with her husband Larry 
It is not the load that breaks you down. It’s the way you carry it.  ~ Lena Horne, singer

By Nancy Hardaway

In the introduction to her website The Artful Caregiver, blogger Nancy Hardaway acknowledges that ~ after years of caring for her widowed mother, then her widowed sister and finally her husband ~ it was only in retrospect that she identified herself as a caregiver. Through her blog, she decided to share her caregiving journey "in the hopes that someone can be helped by what they read - that some benefit can come from all that we experience." Two months ago, Nancy's beloved husband Larry succumbed to the rare neurodegenerative disease that finally claimed his life. Now in the aftermath of devastating loss, Nancy continues sharing her hard-won "wisdom, woes, triumphs and tips," offering her insights as she transitions from life as a caregiver into that of a bereaved spouse.

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, June 2 - June 8, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Paging Dr. Spot, http://j.mp/2WOYOVG « AAMC News

Does Medicine Have a Wall of Silence? http://j.mp/2WMChbX « Medpage Today

The Truth about Hospice, http://j.mp/2QOU7po « Benevilla

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 2 - June 8, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How Can You Recover Emotionally After Causing Accidental Death or Injury? http://j.mp/2R0bYd1 « Seven Ponds Blog

18 Caregiving Skills I Can Use on Me! http://j.mp/2R02Vc7 « The Artful Caregiver

Creativity in Grief, http://j.mp/2QWAL1v « Grief Dialogues Blog

Coping with Pet Loss, June 2 - June 8, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Pet Grief Is Traumatic: Harder Than Losing a Human Friend, Study Finds http://j.mp/2QLGdnS « Wide Open Pets

Researchers Reveal That Losing A Dog Can Be As Hard As Losing A Loved One, http://j.mp/2QWmSkh « Power of Positivity

The gifts our dying dog gave to my sons, http://j.mp/2KnBMyI « The Washington Post

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Monday, June 3, 2019

In Grief: Setting Clear Boundaries

Boundaries in child-parent relationships basically establish that you're an adult with your own rights, choices, preferences and capacities.  ~ JR Thorpe

A reader writes: We lost our dad 5 months ago and my mother-in-law 3 months ago. My mom is constantly complaining that my 2 siblings and I are not doing more for her. I'm feeling very depressed with all the guilt she is putting on me.

Sunday, June 2, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 26 - June 1, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How Do you Move Forward After Causing Accidental Death Or Injury (CADI)? http://j.mp/2KlfOMr « Seven Ponds Blog

Grief Looks a Lot Like 'Crazy' http://j.mp/2KcKpvS « Modern Loss

Review: Dead to Me Is a Quietly Radical Depiction of Grief’s Emotional Haze, http://j.mp/2Iab7mh « Slant Magazine

Monday, May 27, 2019

Using Movies to Move Through Grief

Image by stokpic from Pixabay 
I've got plenty of people I can do something with -- just none I can do nothing with.  ~ Widower Joe Warr (Clive Owen) in The Boys Are Back

Movies and DVD rentals that dramatize others coming to terms with their pain may serve as a valuable tool to help you and your family members better understand and move through the grieving process.

Getting in touch with the painful feelings of grief and releasing blocked or pent-up emotions by having a good cry can be cleansing and stress-reducing. Movies can be an effective tool in addressing certain grief issues, especially when your selections are made consciously and deliberately.

Sunday, May 26, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, May 19 - May 25, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Insightful and informative: Caregiver Recovery versus Bereavement, http://j.mp/2VVSBHT « The Artful Caregiver

How to Plan for Weddings AND Funerals, http://j.mp/2VRCKKz « A Good Goodbye ~ Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die

3 things about psychiatry that don't focus on pathology, http://j.mp/2VVjFa8 « Kevin MD

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 19 - May 25, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Kelli Auerbach on becoming an orphan in her 20s: "I’d never understood how much my identity was entwined with being someone’s child." http://j.mp/2I7Z5tF « The New York Times

Things to Consider When Parenting Grieving Children, http://j.mp/2W3sMWe « Heal Grief

Loss, Grief, and Post-traumatic Growth, http://j.mp/2W2HDk2 « The Compassionate Friends

Monday, May 20, 2019

Voices of Experience: How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents

By Jacqueline Marcell

I want to tell you how much I miss my mother. Bits of her are still there. I miss her most when I am sitting across from her.  ~ Candy Crowley

Jacqueline Marcell is a former television executive who gave up her career to take care of her challenging elderly father and sweet mother, both with undiagnosed Alzheimer’s. The experience was so shocking that it compelled her to write her first book, Elder Rage, or Take My Father, Please!, to help caregivers avoid all the pitfalls she experienced and to prevent their frustrations from escalating to any form of elder abuse. Here she offers a glimpse of her caregiving journey:

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 12 - May 18, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Working while mourning: How to grieve when you're on the job, http://j.mp/2HCEMUz « NBC News

Am I Going Crazy or Grieving? http://bit.ly/2HuIi3C « Shine On Counseling

Why we need to talk about grief, http://j.mp/2HI9wUz « Harper's Bazaar

Monday, May 13, 2019

Pet Loss: Death of A Service Dog

A service dog can mean a whole new way of life for the handicapped. The activities that able-bodied people take for granted now can be routine for the disabled also, with the help of a four-footed therapist.  ~ Janet Ruckert, EdD

A reader writes: I have been looking at your websites and the materials that you offer for pet loss. I'm wondering if any of it would be of help to me. I lost my dear sweet black Lab Service Dog to malignant melanoma just a few weeks ago. She was not a pet ~ she was my assistant and helper and light of my life for nine and a half years. She was my constant companion and went with me everywhere. She helped me every day both physically and emotionally. I use a wheelchair and a specially converted rampvan for mobility. If I fell my dog would go find help for me. Her loss has left an unbelievably huge hole in my heart. I let her go because I could not and would not let her continue to hurt like I know that she was. I need her so much and just can't seem to let myself get on with the things I need to do in my life without her.

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 5 - May 11, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Forget the Flowers and Skip the Brunch. I Hate Mother’s Day. http://j.mp/2VrUfAF « Medium

Parents Who Lost A Child Need A Day Like Mother's And Father's Day, http://j.mp/2HnstvB « The Federalist

Writing a Book With My Mom Kept Her Memory Alive, http://j.mp/2Vjl4qO  « Modern Loss

Monday, May 6, 2019

Parent Loss: Grieving An Elderly Mother

We knew and loved our mothers our whole life. It's no mystery why it hurts so much and why it takes so long to heal.  ~ Elaine Mallon 

A reader writes: Yesterday was the 4th month anniversary of my Mom's death. I still feel that after this time I have not fully grieved over her, or that if I do, I will not emerge from the pit of despair. I have been beset by material problems that have distracted me from grief, problems that are connected with her death. I feel that my mind is fracturing, that I am being hemmed in and trapped by everything, and there will be no end to this suffering. It is a constant companion that seems to not ever want to leave.

Sunday, May 5, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 28 - May 4, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Hospice Journey, http://j.mp/2GTYZoG « Widower's Grief

‘My Death Stories Are My Birth Stories’ http://j.mp/2GUJJI3 « Modern Loss

We All Have A Grief Secret, http://j.mp/2H0tUjh « What's Your Grief?

Monday, April 29, 2019

In Grief: Supporting the Survivor of Suicide Loss

Image by Pexels from Pixabay
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.  ~ Helen Keller

A reader writes: Six months ago I learned that a dear friend’s husband died by suicide. He was found hanging in their garage. As horrible as that was, I’ve just been told that yesterday their 17-year-old son took his own life too, and in the very same way. We are all in a state of shock. I don’t know what I can do to help her. I don’t even know where to begin. Would you have any suggestions or words of wisdom for me?

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 21 - April 27, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Out of Grief Comes Faith, http://j.mp/2VnpsEs « The Grief Dialogues

Grief After Accidents, Suicide, and Other Sudden Losses, http://j.mp/2VuxStu « Crossroads

Why losing a dog can be harder than losing a relative or friend, http://j.mp/2KYWWEX « AfterTalk

Monday, April 22, 2019

Voices of Experience: A Glimpse of Life After Loss

By Sharon McCuistian

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.  ~ Havelock Ellis

After the sudden, unexpected death of her husband, Sharon Ellis McCuistian found herself a widow at the age of 48. With two grown children in college, Sharon had to find a way to live in her new reality. She turned to the things she loved to help in her journey through grief: faith, family, friends, and her love of words. Writing became the cathartic venue by which she began to process her loss. That writing grew into her blog, Now Choose Life, where the following post first appeared. It is reprinted here with her permission.

Sunday, April 21, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, April 14 - April 20, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Caring for a Loved One: The Letter Every Caregiver Should Write, http://j.mp/2KUo6Nx « Grief In Common

8 Things to Consider Regarding End of Life Pain Management, http://j.mp/2Pmag4X « BK Books

How to Find the Right Words for Someone in Hospice, http://bit.ly/2H7LQuA « Next Avenue

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 14 - April 20, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Out of Grief Comes Emotion, http://j.mp/2PiE96c « The Grief Dialogues

Grief Mistakes, http://j.mp/2PiWqAb « Soaring Spirits International

The Griever's Bill of Rights, http://j.mp/2Pm00tG « Refuge In Grief

Monday, April 15, 2019

In Grief: What's Age Got To Do With It?

If you were 12 years old, no one would believe it odd that you would grieve the loss of your mom, so why do we assume it is easier 50 years later?  Those 50 additional years carry even more shared memories.  ~ Kenneth Doka

A reader writes: I am writing because I had a negative interaction with a store clerk about the death of my mother and I am stunned at how sensitive I am to the insensitivity of strangers. I need some kind of reality check.

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 7 - April 13, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What not to say to a bereaved person, http://j.mp/2P8tPxo « AK Lander

Recognizing The Vital Role of Hospice Volunteers, http://bit.ly/2IZUOHk « Grief Healing

My Sudden-Onset Only Child Syndrome, http://j.mp/2uWWvAt « Modern Loss

Monday, April 8, 2019

Caregiving and Grief in Alzheimer's and Dementia: Suggested Resources

[Reviewed and updated July 15, 2019]

Grief is the constant yet hidden companion of Alzheimer's disease and other related dementias.  ~ Kenneth J. Doka

A hospice colleague writes: We are preparing a program on issues of caring for those with dementia (and their caregivers) who are bereaved, as well as caring for the bereaved whose loved ones had dementia. If you find any relevant material on these issues, I would appreciate anything you can share.

Sunday, April 7, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, March 31 - April 6, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Hospice of the Valley program offers the dying solace, companionship, http://j.mp/2OPX1t8 « AZCentral

Growing Old Is Better With a Pet. Here's Why, http://j.mp/2uNs2oa « TIME

Palliative Care instead of “pseudomedicine” for dementia? http://j.mp/2OBYNh9 « CaregivingOldGuy.website

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 31 - April 6, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Out of Grief Comes Spirit, http://j.mp/2OT5Gel « The Grief Dialogues

Did my child die because I lacked faith? http://j.mp/2ORwlYR « emotionally naked

3 Suicides Last Month Connected to School Shootings, http://j.mp/2OUdywg  « Seven Ponds Blog

Monday, April 1, 2019

When Grief Affects Performance At Work

Image by athree23 on Pixabay
Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.  ~ Fred Rogers

A reader writes: This past year was a very difficult one for me and my family.   My father was diagnosed with a terminal illness and passed 7 months later. The day he died my mother-in-law was hospitalized and a few days later we found out she had stage 4 cancer and had only a few months left. She died 2 months later. I took one month compassionate care leave to look after my father and two bereavement leaves, and most of the year I was in a fog. It was very difficult to watch my father suffer over several months before he passed away at home.

Sunday, March 31, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, March 24 - March 30, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Jacqueline Marcell - Elderly Patient Care, http://j.mp/2Ov9cLK « Throomers

I Hear You, But I Don't Understand, http://j.mp/2OqXEsN « BK Books

Alex Trebek, Cancer, and the Language of Life-Limiting Illness, http://j.mp/2OoyzyJ « Seven Ponds Blog

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 24 - March 30, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How To Talk To Your Kids About Death And Grief, http://j.mp/2OxehTR « HuffPost Australia

'Stay Strong,' And Other Useless Drivel We Tell The Grieving, http://j.mp/2FITl9q « Cognoscenti

Out of Grief Comes Community, http://j.mp/2FKuja7 « Grief Dialogues Blog

Monday, March 25, 2019

Pet Loss: Was My Cat Saying Goodbye?

A reader writes: This past weekend, my Puff (14+year-old cat) left this world and went to a better place. The other day she kissed my face all over and then licked my neck--with such gusto too--a contrast to how she became as she got older, blind and not able to stand. I think a 2-day heat wave contributed to her demise--but she hasn't been herself for months. The vet figures it was a neurological problem such as a brain tumor, or stroke--like my late but great grandma would say, "whatever it was, it wasn't good"-- the time had come.

Sunday, March 24, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, March 17 - March 23, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Demand for Hospice Care Is Increasing, http://j.mp/2WevnZ7 « Seven Ponds Blog

Three Magical Phrases to Comfort a Dying Person, http://j.mp/2Wf2AUf « Human Parts

This Podcast Begins at the End, http://j.mp/2TSqmsE « Modern Loss

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 17 - March 23, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Disenfranchised: A Grief Counselor Discusses Losing Her Job, http://bit.ly/2trW28h « The Atlantic

What If the Deceased is Despised? http://j.mp/2TQYRiY « Hospice Matters

Bereavement Researcher: We Must Do Better for the Grief-Stricken, http://j.mp/2Whyy2h « NextAvenue

Monday, March 18, 2019

Voices of Experience: My Beautiful Husband

by Louise McOrmond-Plummer

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.  ~ Lao Tzu

When her beautiful husband, Ken, died from cancer two years ago, Louise had a sense that her protector, her champion, the person who loved her most in the world, was gone. "That was pretty scary," she writes, "but I've had some powerful healing thoughts recently." Those thoughts were first expressed in a post she wrote for AfterTalk, and are reprinted here with her permission:

Sunday, March 17, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, March 10 - March 16, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief of Dementia, http://j.mp/2Hc9LJG « Widower's Grief

Life in Jeopardy, http://j.mp/2HhFqcL « HOPEspot

With Dementia, More is Needed than a Boilerplate Advance Directive, http://j.mp/2Hc3Ynk « The Conversation Project

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 10 - March 16, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Donna, A Photo Memoir of Love and Loss, http://j.mp/2HBuDJt « Donna The Book

Helping to spread the word: short film tackles children dealing with grief and how imagination might heal a broken heart, http://j.mp/2HCVZPm « IndieGoGo

Setbacks in Grief, http://j.mp/2HvPX37 « Grief Compass

Monday, March 11, 2019

In Grief: Saying Goodbye to A Family Home

We carry our homes within us which enables us to fly.  ~ John Cage

A reader writes: I found out Saturday afternoon on a walk that there are people living in my parents' old house. Intellectually I knew it was going to happen, but emotionally... (I always have this dichotomy: an intellectual grasp of something, and an emotional grasp. There is quite often a significant lag time for the emotional grasp to catch up. I am trying to follow others' advice about letting the emotions lead, but its hard. My basic "default" setting is intellect first, then emotions.)

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, March 4 - March 9, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Care–Informal Style, http://j.mp/2Hm2w0T « The Unprepared Caregiver

Most Adults Don’t Have the End-of-Life Care Documents They Need, http://j.mp/2H4I85c « 1-800-HOSPICE™

How to Find the Right Words for Someone in Hospice, http://j.mp/2H7LQuA « Next Avenue

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 4 - March 9, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

7 Ways to Treat Yourself With Kindness While Grieving, http://j.mp/2Hozqy3 « What's Your Grief?

How Matthew Broderick's movie "To Dust" explores grief with laughter, http://j.mp/2H4W8f2 « Legacy.com

Life after Caregiving, http://j.mp/2NKCfdG  « AfterTalk Inspirational 3.7.19

Monday, March 4, 2019

In Grief: Having a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

At midnight, even bad days come to an end.  ~ Ms Moem

A reader writes: I lost both my parents and it sucks. My father died before I even graduated from college. For me, I wanted to make my parents proud by going to college, and getting a good paying job and helping them out financially. My father died before I even graduated, and he never saw me off to my real professional job. Life seemed pointless. My dream was killed. A part of me died. Our family was broken. We had to find a way to hold the table up with one person short. At that point, I realized that the most important thing to me was to spend as much time as I could with family, especially my mom, since she was hurting so much because she lost her companion. She became my best friend and we did everything together. And I was happy. I just wanted time with my family. And then last month my mother passes away. I'm so shocked I can't believe it. Now what I lived for, just got killed again.

Sunday, March 3, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, February 24 - March 2, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

My Personal Integrity Was Wounded Tonight, http://j.mp/2GNyFPr « Barbara Karnes, RN

Bereavement Service, http://j.mp/2NtrxrY « HOPEspot

 Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 24 - March 2, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Longing of Saudade, http://j.mp/2NCu17n « Widower's Grief

I'm Feeling Crazy. Do I Need Psychotherapy? http://bit.ly/2GSN4tM « Open To Hope

New Research Shows the Power of 1 Session of Guided Imagery on Anxiety, http://j.mp/2GQxSgD « Health Journeys

Coping with Pet Loss, February 24 - March 2, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

New York Allows Pet Burials in Human Cemeteries, http://bit.ly/2NEVfKQ  « Seven Ponds Blog

Losing a Pet Can Be Just as Hard as Losing a Loved One, http://j.mp/2GS5Lxz  « PsychCentral

Pet Loss: Cannot Stop Crying, http://j.mp/2GwOudd « Grief Healing

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Monday, February 25, 2019

Voices of Experience: Advice on Coping With Loss

by Hannah Wessel

I found this advice on Reddit.  It was posted in response to a lady who asked for advice on coping with the loss of her best friend.  It seems an unlikely place to find inspiration and advice, but I think this reply is incredibly moving and it has helped me deal with my grief since I lost my mother.

Sunday, February 24, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 17 - February 23, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The hierarchy of grief is real - and that's okay. Every grief is valid. http://j.mp/2GFhwHH « Refuge in Grief

Please Know: I Love Talking About My Child Who Died, http://j.mp/2GIaZMc  « Still Standing Magazine

“End Game” Nominated for an Academy Award, http://j.mp/2GBinJi « Seven Ponds Blog

Monday, February 18, 2019

Pet Loss: Cannot Stop Crying

Where he is really buried, and where he is, and where he always will be, is in my heart.  ~ Cleveland Amory, in The Best Cat Ever

A reader writes: I lost my kitty, Sunny today and my grief is overwhelming. I knew this was coming because she was diagnosed with a bad heart four months ago. She was only 5 years old. We (me and my daughter) did everything we could, lots of doctors, lots of meds and lots of tests. Each time she came home from the hospital, she had her quality of life back, if only for 2 to 3 weeks and then back to the doctor. This week she was at the hospital for 3 straight days with nothing helping and she became so ill and was so tired with the heart of hers. This morning it was determined that her kidneys and liver were affected and there was nothing they could do. And she was so tired. She passed away at 9:00 AM this morning and I cannot stop crying.

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 10 - February 16, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A Valentine Letter for YOU, http://j.mp/2GsVbwX « Second Firsts

Grief Support: Paying it Forward, http://j.mp/2IeRdd0 « Grief Compass

Over the Edge. Maybe, http://j.mp/2IdfvUO « Soaring Spirits International

Monday, February 11, 2019

In Grief: Mother Loss vs. Spouse Loss

Make friends with guilt. Guilt is a beautiful emotion that alerts us when something is wrong so that we may achieve peace with our conscience. Without conscience there would be no morality. So we can greet guilt cordially and with acceptance, just as we do all other emotions. After we respond to guilt, it has done its job and we can release it.  ~ Glenn R. Schiraldi

A reader writes: My mother was diagnosed with cancer and was given 6 weeks to live. She died six weeks later. Just one month after that, my husband was told there was something in his lung. By the time he was finally diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, it had spread to the lining of his lung and his bones. My husband was 57 and had just retired 3 months before we knew he was ill. Within eight months after diagnosis, he was dead. So I have had two great losses in a ten-month period. 

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 3 - February 9, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How Does Opening Up Conversations About Death Help Bereaved Parents? http://j.mp/2IfSIYz « Seven Ponds Blog

Why It’s OK for Your Loved One to Stop Eating and Drinking on Hospice, http://j.mp/2DhyQya « Crossroads Hospice and Palliative Care

Grief Tracking: What A Difference A Dot Makes, http://j.mp/2Gd8uBj « Grieve Well

Monday, February 4, 2019

In Grief: Refusing to Let Go

I desire no future that will break the ties of the past.  ~ George Eliot

A reader writes: I read the Darcie Sims article posted on your Discussion Groups website on "saying goodbye." THANK YOU! It is so perfectly what I believe. In fact, I have been told several times by people to "let go" of my ex who has died. I hate that.

Sunday, February 3, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, January 27 - February 2, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Help for an Alcoholic Struggling with Addiction for 25 Years, http://j.mp/2G4LaFT « Health Journeys

Is It Ever Too Soon To Enter Hospice Care? We Ask Heart of Hospice, http://bit.ly/2CUSIqQ « KPEL965

Why falls and fractures in the elderly can be a trigger for hospice care, http://j.mp/2D7Fasj « The Journal

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 27 - February 2, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Am I Depressed? http://j.mp/2G5DG5H « Talkspace

My Cat’s Death Broke My Brain, http://j.mp/2G4whDw « Modern Loss

50 Practical Gestures to Help a Grieving Friend, http://bit.ly/2qmUgCq « Hospice and Palliative Care of Greensboro

Monday, January 28, 2019

Voices of Experience: My Self-Care Basket for 2019

by Anne M. Gorman

When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.   
~ Jean Shinoda Bolen

As a caregiver for my beloved Jim for five years, one important thing I learned during that time was the importance of caring for self. I think that part of healing has to do with self-care and this is what I'm doing for the New Year. I just came off of a Stay-at-Home Retreat and decided to prepare a Self-Care Basket that I can go to when I need a day to focus on myself. This did not happen to me in my first years of loss, but we change – and for me, today I like to focus on doing something for myself.

Sunday, January 27, 2019

Caregiving and Hospice, January 20 - January 26, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Refusing Treatment At Age 93, http://j.mp/2RSVMhG « Barbara Karnes RN

10 things patients should know about hospitals, http://j.mp/2RNNA23 « Kevin MD

New global consensus-based definition of palliative care across all ages, http://j.mp/2RJlMfk « ehospice