In Grief: Son Disapproves of The Way Mom Needs to Grieve

Imagine the choices you'd make if you had no fear-of falling, of losing, of being alone, of disapproval.  ~ Martha Beck

A reader writes: It will be one year tomorrow that the love of my life, my everything -- will have been in Heaven for one year and I miss him so very, very, very much. Announcement of the anniversary of my husband’s death appears in the newspaper today and I am a wreck. I just can't do this life thing without my beloved...it is so hard and I don't know where to turn. I am tired of pretending, so very, very tired................

My oldest son didn't want to put in a memoriam and my youngest, well he basically asked me to do it for him. It hurts so much. I know they truly miss their father with all of their being but why, why won't they talk to me or, or I don't know what.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 3 - December 9, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

It’s now widely accepted that the lingering residue of unprocessed shame, grief and trauma remains in the body and can lead to depression, persistent pain and even death. What is often diagnosed as depression is actually low-level, chronic grief, shame and despair. When we avoid feeling and fully expressing our pain, we resign ourselves to a life lived in this dimmed existence. And we don’t even realise that we’re doing it. How Our Grief Opens Us Up to Life « The Good Men Project

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 26 - December 2, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

After experiencing a loss, the first year can be one of the most challenging times in the grieving process. Whether it’s a holiday, birthday, or anniversary, those firsts without your loved one present can trigger complicated feelings. Though the firsts aren’t easy, there are things you can do to help make them a little more tolerable. Tips on how to cope with grief during year of firsts « Clarksville Now

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 4 - September 10, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A newscast or film clip from September 11 can catch us by surprise, acting as a trigger, and it's as if we're confronted with the event for the first time, all over again. September 11: Coping with Aftershocks « Grief Healing

What causes us to feel such grief over the death of a celebrity or public figure we did not know personally? Queen Elizabeth death: Collective grief a common phenomenon after a public figure dies « Philadelphia Inquirer

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 6 - March 12, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Loss during a pandemic can be complicated, especially when people haven't been able to gather as usual after a death, or to carry on traditions they normally would. Psychologist says pandemic complicates loss and grief « CBC News 

Caregiving & Understanding and Managing Grief, December 8 - December 14, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief takes on a life of its own for many people and though it affects thousands on a daily basis, each journey is different. Yet, the one thing all those grieving people have in common is that the journey feels like a walk down a winding path alone. What Grief Truly Is, http://j.mp/2LRUUV9 « Yahoo! Lifestyle

Family caregivers pledge to fulfill their loved ones’ end-of-life wishes. But too often circumstances change, and they must break their word and guard against breaking hearts ― including their own.… The Health Care Promises We Cannot Keep, https://j.mp/35mCG66 « Kaiser Health News

From your description of your grandmother's illness her body had entered the dying process. It was shutting down, unable to combat the disease that she had lived with for so many years. Would She Still Be Alive? https://j.mp/36qR8tK « BK Books

In Grief: When Current Losses Trigger Past Abuse

[Reviewed and updated November 7, 2022]

The human race tends to remember the abuses to which it has been subjected rather than the endearments. What's left of kisses? Wounds, however, leave scars.  ~ Bertolt Brecht

A reader writes: The first anniversary of losing my beloved cat Abby was last month, and the first anniversary of losing my beloved Cleo is just five months away. I still feel totally lost. I still forget they are gone. To make matters worse, my father is in end stage of Alzheimers. All three of these losses have somehow triggered some old historical abuse issues. I just thought I was further along in this journey of life than I actually am.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 9 - September 15, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

It is a scary thing to fall in love again after loss, https://tinyurl.com/y8jrlrzj « Second Firsts

Book Review: "The Cremation of Sam McGee" by Robert Service,  http://j.mp/2MpQzWV « Seven Ponds Blog

Terminally Ill Father "Walks" Daughter Down The Wedding Aisle, http://j.mp/2MvizIv « Seven Ponds Blog

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 13 - May 19, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Powerful: After a Teenager's Death, Metaphors Fail, http://j.mp/2IrHgZe « Modern Loss 

'Keep living your story' ~ Shadow Narratives, http://j.mp/2IqnihH « Bryan C. Taylor

Woman Has Photos Taken of Herself in Wedding Dress after Death of her Fiance, http://j.mp/2rSqGHH « Seven Ponds Blog

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 14 - May 20, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why we Need to Stop Saying, "I'm Sorry For Your Loss," http://bit.ly/2r4Bh3M « Elephant Journal

After A Loss, Learning to Be Happy Again, http://nyti.ms/2q2E1dB « The New York Times

Change Your Mind, Change the World, http://bit.ly/2pUt6H5 « Soaring Spirits International

In Grief: Remembering Is An Active Process

Source

[Reviewed and updated May 29, 2026]

If we are loved and remembered, then we live on forever in the hearts of those who love us.  ~ Ted Menten

A reader writes: Eleven months ago, my son had a massive seizure in his sleep and went on to Heaven as a result. His birthday was to be the next day, the saddest day of my entire life. He was 6 feet tall, blonde hair, blue eyes and the most beautiful smile anyone ever wanted to see. He had the kindest heart and gentle way about him. I really did not realize how many lives he had touched while he was with us. When God came to take him home he got a very special angel. He was 21 and the kind of young man anyone would have been proud to have had for a son. I must say it was a privilege to say I was his mother. The day he died a part of me died too. I miss him so much it is physically painful even to this day. I have not found a way to live this new life I have been given. I do try but without much success.

Voices of Experience: The Stethoscope, a Link to Past, Present and Future

Linking objects are literally any type of physical object or an image that connects a mourner in a comforting way with a deceased loved one.  ~ Lou LaGrand

Harriet Hodgson has been an independent health and wellness journalist for more than 37 years. She is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists, Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the MN Coalition for Death Education and Support. She has presented at numerous conferences and has appeared as a guest on dozens of radio and television programs. A prolific author, she has contributed hundreds of articles to online and print publications, and has published 35 books ~ all stemming from her personal experiences with anticipatory grief, traumatic loss, grief recovery, health and wellness, grandparenting and primary caregiving. Learn more about this busy author, caregiving wife and grandmother at her website, HarrietHodgson.com and on her Facebook page.

Our elder daughter, mother of our twin grandchildren, died from the injuries she received in a car crash. This was bad enough, but six months later, the twin’s father died from the injuries he received in another crash.