When Grief Is Too Much to Bear: Supporting A Grieving Parent, from A Distance

A parent’s love is whole, no matter how many times divided. ~ Robert Brault

A reader writes: My husband and I are dealing with his mother's grief over losing his father (her husband), who passed away last month in a wonderful hospice in another state. I have visited your online grief support website, and although it helps calm my nerves somewhat to see that other widows are experiencing the same acute grief emotions as my mother-in-law, we are at a loss for how to help and support her most effectively when she is in one state and we live in another. We are concerned that she definitely needs one-on-one grief counseling, but she is so distraught that she cannot even call her doctor and arrange it, or even speak with the wonderful, supportive people at the hospice there. What can we do from a distance?

In Grief: Acknowledging Jealousy and Anger

It would be impossible to estimate how much time and energy we invest in trying to fix, change and deny our emotions ~ especially the ones that shake us at our very core, like hurt, jealousy, loneliness, shame, rage and grief.  ~ Debbie Ford

A reader writes: My counselor came. We talked. I told her about my horrible feelings about other people who have been ill and are recovering. Instead of feeling good for them like a proper empathetic person should do, I feel sorry that they are getting better. How totally awful is that? My counselor said that it's anger that my husband died and they didn't. She said she asked me way back if I felt anger at my husband’s death and I said No. She said now the anger is coming out in resentment that others have survived and my husband has not. I think she may be right. I have struggled with this because it seems such a horrible attitude.

Making Room for New Love after Loss: Hope, Healing, and Resources

And think not that you can direct the course of love, for love, if it's worthy, directs your course.  ~ Khalil Gibran

A reader writes: I have insight into my growth through grief these past 2 years. At first it was a tight shell around me, I couldn't let anyone in. Now it's a softer cocoon. I empathize with newly bereaved in a way I never got before. I sit, I'm patient, I listen.

I feel room in my heart for a new life partner while maintaining my connection with my deceased husband. How did I get here? I met a guy, a widower, he gets it! He gets me. I get him. It's new, I'm hopeful. I miss my deceased husband daily and I'm "in like" with a new man. I have room in my heart yet it feels awkward -- and hopeful.

Struggling With Acceptance and "Letting Go" in Grief

The beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday.  ~ Steve Maraboli

A reader writes: I send you a letter, asking for guidance and help, my father passed away two months ago, and it's very hard to accept that he is gone, my mom is angry and sad, can you help us.

Complicated, Prolonged, Persistent Grief Disorder: "Maybe I am Nuts"

Complicated Grief is a form of grief that takes hold of a person's mind and won't let go.

A reader writes: "Complicated Grief," "Prolonged Grief Disorder" and now "Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder." In reading about all of these "disorders" with an open mind, I clearly am suffering from all three. And suffering is the appropriate word. It's been over four years since my beloved died and I still don't know my place in this world. Still feel my life is mostly meaningless without her. I've kept her clothes and most of her things just where they always were. I feel like if I got rid of that stuff,  my life would feel even more empty  than it already does. Her things being where they always were gives me a small sense of comfort.

Widow Asks: Should I Adopt A Second Dog?

I have found that when you are deeply troubled, there are things you get from the silent devoted companionship of a dog that you can get from no other source. ~ Doris Day

A reader writes: I love dogs, and since my husband died, only my beautiful little Cockapoo saves me from living alone. I couldn't survive without her. I know how many dogs in shelters need homes, and one great no‑kill shelter near me may have to shut down for lack of funds. So I've been thinking a lot about adopting a second dog. But I don't know if it's a good time to bring a new pet into my life. I still hurt so much from losing my husband that the thought of opening up my heart again, even to a dog, is scary. And I've been a human companion to many dogs, so I know what to expect: Bringing a new one home would probably mean some bad behavior, an "accident" or two, maybe some chewing and (I hope not) fighting. If these were normal times, no problem. But with the limited control of emotions I have now, I worry that both the dog and I might be too stressed.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 14 - July 27, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:  

Yes, it is normal to feel crazy after a shattering loss. What I invite you to consider is that it is actually the loss that’s not normal. This loss came along uninvited and turned your life upside-down. Human beings are born to live and love. That’s why we are here. When a life ends, we’re simply not prepared. We can’t be fully prepared, even when a death is anticipated. Why? Because it’s human nature to want and expect life and love to continue. We’re just not made to easily welcome death into our daily lives. You’re Not Crazy – You’re Grieving Pt. 1 « AfterTalk

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 31 - January 6, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

Normal grief is a process that varies from person to person. Prolonged Grief Disorder occurs when this process is derailed. Normal grieving is supported by joining specialized groups of mourners and cultural and religious customs. Prolonged Grief Disorder Therapy focuses on healing themes and achieving milestones as recovery progresses. Grief: What Is Normal and What Is Prolonged Grief Disorder « Psychology Today

In Grief: Struggling With Thoughts of Suicide

[Reviewed and updated February 27, 2026]

When it is darkest, we can see the stars.  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A reader writes: My beloved died earlier this month, and I can't stop thinking about ending this hell. I know I should stay here for my kids - they don't deserve to lose yet another parent and would be devastated. But I can't see going on like this. Even for one more week. It's just impossible. I'm on antidepressants and sedatives, but I still feel frantic with pain, grief and loneliness. Is this normal? Will I make it? Should I even make it? Or would it be easier to just quit now? I can't even bring myself to pick up the phone and talk to anyone.

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 26 - December 2, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

After experiencing a loss, the first year can be one of the most challenging times in the grieving process. Whether it’s a holiday, birthday, or anniversary, those firsts without your loved one present can trigger complicated feelings. Though the firsts aren’t easy, there are things you can do to help make them a little more tolerable. Tips on how to cope with grief during year of firsts « Clarksville Now

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 12 - November 18, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

Here's why events like a "Ride for Your Life" are so important — and how to keep the spirit going long after World Day of Remembrance is over. ‘World Day of Remembrance’: Connecting Grief to Activism « StreetsBlogUSA

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 13 - August 19, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:

Suffering the sudden death of a loved person leaves some survivors stuck in grief. Can they win their lives back – and how? When Grief Doesn't End « Aeon

Nobody chooses to hang on to grief; grief is in charge. Grief can feel like an ongoing connection with the loved one. The goal is to someday remember with more love than pain. Grief Is a Long, Tedious Slog « Psychology Today

Voices of Experience: Communications, Dreams, and Synchronicities

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.  ~ Francis of Assissi

In her deeply honest and inspiring memoir, Watching for Dragonflies: A Caregiver’s Transformative Journey, author Suzanne Marriott explores how caregiving for her husband throughout his journey with chronic illness allowed her to gain a spiritual awareness that would ultimately help her through her own medical crisis and into a place of healing and solace.

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 2 - April 8, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A new study finds differences between men and women in the "widowhood effect." Men have a higher likelihood of dying themselves after the death of their spouse than women do. I Can’t Live Without Her: When Grieving Men Die « Psychology Today

Looking for Answers in Grief

[Reviewed and updated September 9, 2025]

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

A reader writes: I have never been a religious person. But it seems that when you have such a tragedy in your life like losing a husband of 40 years that you seem to turn that way because you are looking for an answer. All the books that I seem to read talk about the plan that God has in store for you. Why I get so upset is that I was completely happy with my old plan - being with the love of my life until we were, say, 90 years old (not just 60). So why take my wonderful plan away and make me so miserable because He has a plan for me?

Voices of Experience: Navigating Grief in the Wake of A Husband's Suicide

After taking her sons on a hike with the family dog one beautiful fall afternoon, Charlotte Maya returned home to find a police woman, a policeman, and a priest in her driveway—there to deliver the news of her husband’s suicide. Charlotte knew her husband had been stressed about work, but she had no idea he was suicidal. She thought he had stayed home to take a nap. 

As a young widow, Charlotte cried, cursed, meditated, medicated, downward-dogged, and ran as a way to make sense of her husband’s suicide. As the mother of two bereft sons, she summoned her inner strength and clarity in order to provide steady guidance for them to navigate their own ways through the ensuing months and years. Her story offers intimate moments, powerful lessons, as well as practical ways through which not only suicide survivors but any of us experiencing loss can move forward to live lives of joy and purpose.

New Year Resolutions for The Bereaved

Nothing relieves and ventilates the mind like a resolution. ~ John Burroughs

A reader writes: It has been 10 weeks now since my husband died, and I’m noticing that I cannot concentrate on things like I used to. I just daydream so much about him – good things and bad. Also my memory is not so good lately which surprises me. I just write down a to-do list for myself often so that my life won’t completely fall apart. I can’t seem to decide on what to do a lot of the time, and I change my mind so much that I don’t want to promise people anything.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 11 - December 24, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

May the spirit and beauty of the season shine in your heart and remain with you throughout the New Year. Once Again It's Christmas « Grief Healing

Voices of Experience: Slipping Away

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.  ~ Ann Landers

Silver Butterfly Wings is a story of transformation, of the many paths and decisions Wendy Willow faced while going through the process of grief. The death of her husband left her utterly shattered, unable to imagine a life without him. Then signs from the other side appeared, filling her with hope: flickering lights, hawks flying overhead, their song on the radio, a butterfly’s silvery wings, a hot spot on his side of the bed. At first she was sceptical. How could her dearly departed be sending signs and messages from across the veil?

In Grief: Cooking for One and Eating Alone

Today there is an Annual Culinary Olympics, with hundreds of cooks from many countries ardently competing. But we who hate to cook have had our own Olympics for years, seeing who can get out of the kitchen the fastest and stay out the longest. ~ Peg Bracken, The I Hate to Cook Book 

A reader writes: Since my husband was retired on permanent disability, he took over the shopping and cooking many years ago. Now mind you I do know how to cook, but when I cooked it was for two adults and two children.