In Grief: Aversion to Thoughts Of "Acceptance" and "Moving On"

[Reviewed and updated July 21, 2023]

Acceptance doesn't mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there's got to be a way through it. ~ Michael J. Fox

A reader writes: This just isn’t something I can live with. I want to see my dad more than anything in the world. I can’t even go near the words “closure” or “accept.” My friend, who never lost anyone, even a pet, in her life, told me in a matter-of-fact, cheery voice, “You gotta get over it, right? Pick yourself up. Go out and live life. Your dad would have wanted you to be out there, I bet.” I almost hung up on her. I know she meant well, but I was so upset by that.

Caregiving and Hospice, September 20 - September 26, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Having a dog can help your heart — literally, http://j.mp/1gYnFgn « Harvard Health

Ideas For A New Hospice Nurse, http://j.mp/1R5qjhp « Hospice Times

Young People, Suicide Prevention and Social Media, http://j.mp/1YAx9QZ « Psychiatry Advisor

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 20 - September 26, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Children in grief: Finding the Right Words, http://j.mp/1LzUbSX « Grief Digest Magazine

Grief and Forgiveness, Part Two: 12 Tips for Self-Forgiveness, http://j.mp/1WjVngh « What's Your Grief?

Insightful: Living on Memory Lane, http://j.mp/1FpD6Ki « Soaring Spirits International

Coping with Pet Loss, September 20 - September 26, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Part 1: What Are the 3 Stages of Pet Hospice Care? http://j.mp/1QuTzNP « Gentle Journey

Make Your Dog’s Last Days His Best Days, http://j.mp/1YvNLtk « Dogtime

The Biggest Mistake Pet Owners Make, http://j.mp/1NQ6SuI « HuffPost Green

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
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Caregiving in Serious Illness: Suggested Resources

[Reviewed and updated November 20, 2023]

Nearly 44 million unpaid caregivers form the backbone of the US chronic and long-term care system. These hard working family members provide care to injured veterans, aging adults, children with special needs, and individuals with chronic medical needs. Currently, 72% of caregivers take care of someone 50 or older. As the Baby Boomer generation ages, the number of people who need care will continue to swell.  ~ National Alliance for Caregiving

A reader writes: Can you lend your expertise and provide some resources that will aid in delivering hospice and palliative care to individuals and families who suffer with and alongside serious illness?

My response: Along with the dozens of articles and sites you'll find on my Hospice and Caregiving Pinterest board, I've assembled here a list of websites and resources I hope you will find useful. As always, I invite our readers to add their own suggestions in the Comments section below:

Caregiving and Hospice, September 13 - September 19, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why is Death Midwifery Important? An Interview with Pashta MaryMoon, Part 1 http://j.mp/1NK9r19 « Seven Ponds

The question doctors fear most: 'Do you believe in God?' http://j.mp/1iTA1rZ « The Guardian

Burnout: Tips for Family Caregivers, http://j.mp/1Oh0oon « Senior Care Central

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 13 - September 19, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief Bibliography, updated today: Books on grief recommended by the bereaved http://bit.ly/9J8Wa4 « Grief Healing

In grief: Put on a happy face, http://j.mp/1KVvIsn « DEW's Girl

Supporting a Grieving Child? Use Modeling http://j.mp/1Lk5LS8 « What's Your Grief?

When Delayed Grief Affects Work Performance

[Reviewed and updated October 8, 2023]

I tried to shut out the feelings that were hurting my heart with a thousand tiny pinpricks, which was somehow worse than having it broken all at once.  ~ Morgan Matson, in Second Chance Summer

A reader writes: I lost my dad ten months ago, while I was in my last year of nursing school. I had to 'tuck in' the grieving process in order to graduate which was my dad's greatest wish for me. He literally said, "Don't stop school for me." I originally felt rejected by him, but now I see he was protecting me again. He had an 8 month battle with pancreatic cancer that was just horrible.

So, I've graduated from nursing school, passed my state boards, and I wish I could give him a big hug. Now that the stress from school is over, I feel like I need to continue the active grieving.

The problem is that I'm messing up at work, which is not new work for me.

Caregiving and Hospice, September 6 - September 12, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Zen and the Art of Dying Well, http://j.mp/1OiyGXB « The New York Times

Interesting: Association of American Physicians and Surgeons Comments Opposing CPT Codes for End-of-Life Discussions, http://j.mp/1UHaZrx « AAPS

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 6 - September 12, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

10 Places Grieving Widows Can Get Help, http://j.mp/1VRQkDD « HuffPost Healthy Living

September 11: Coping with Aftershocks, http://bit.ly/oLsmLl « Grief Healing

In widowhood: Defining Family, http://j.mp/1ULH4yA « Soaring Spirits International

Coping with Pet Loss, September 6 - September 12, 2015

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Using Story To Explain Pet Loss To Children, http://j.mp/1ENwK70 « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Using Story To Explain Pet Loss To Children

Source

The one best place to bury a dog is in the heart of its master. ~ Ben Hur Lampman

Death of a pet may be a young family’s first encounter with significant loss, and one of the questions parents will face is how to explain it to their children. Depending upon their age, personality and level of development at the time, children may have a tough time understanding death and the grief that accompanies significant loss, and parents may be at a loss as to how to explain it to them.

Caregiving and Hospice, August 30 - September 5, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Is patient-centered care part of the problem? http://j.mp/1KQe5J2 « Kevin M.D.

Empty Pill Bottles Desperately Needed (Take your meds and help others!), http://j.mp/1hpb3iQ « Ginger Ail

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 30 - September 5, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Getting lost in grief, http://j.mp/1N9Bs0u « What to Say When Someone Dies

Wonderful! How to Write a Condolence Note, http://j.mp/1JFloPh « A Cup of Jo

Wisdom from bereaved mom Maria Kubitz: Forgiveness in Grief, http://j.mp/1N84Fc9 « Open to Hope