Holding Space for a Child's Grief after Pet Loss

The moment I decided to follow instead of lead, I discovered the joys of becoming a part of a small child's world.  ~ Janet Gonzalez-Mena

A reader writes: I wrote to you earlier about the death of our dog—our wonderful and loving companion of 15 years—as we were planning a memorial service when we buried her remains in our yard. You were kind enough to refer us to your Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers page, and I thank you so much for your words of comfort. I also took the time to read the articles you suggested, which soothed my sad and heavy heart.

I wrote to you again when I needed to tell my five-year-old granddaughter what happened to Samantha. She knew our dog was old and tired, but she wasn’t there when Samantha was euthanized.

Healing Through Story: Helping Children Understand Loss

There is no substitute for books in the life of a child.  ~ Mary Ellen Chase

Helping children understand death—and the powerful emotions that accompany any disappointment or loss—is not easy, especially when other family members may be grieving as well. When adults are struggling with major life events such as divorce, serious illness, an accident, fire, natural disaster, a crisis in the world, or the death of someone close, children can feel lost, frightened, and confused. In such circumstances, they need stable and consistent attention from their caregivers, accurate and factual information, and the freedom to ask questions and express their feelings. Like the adults around them, they need time to explore and come to terms with the meaning of their loss.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 16 - July 22, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

People who are grieving can make us feel uncomfortable. We tend to isolate those who are grieving, exacerbating their pain and loneliness. Acknowledging and addressing each other's suffering goes a long way to alleviating it. We need to be less afraid of saying or doing the "wrong thing" when addressing someone's grief. I'm Sorry For Your Loss « Psychology Today

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 16 - April 22, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

It is normal both to feel great sadness and relief after your loved one passes away. Your relationship to your loved one can further complicate how you experience and process your grief. 6 Things Caregivers Should Know About Their Grief « Psychology Today

Children, Pet Loss and The Power of Story

The one best place to bury a dog is in the heart of its master. ~ Ben Hur Lampman

Death of a pet may be a young family’s first encounter with significant loss, and one of the questions parents will face is how to explain it to their children. Depending upon their age, personality and level of development at the time, children may have a tough time understanding death and the grief that accompanies significant loss, and parents may be at a loss as to how to explain it to them.

Pet Loss: Child Seeks Ways to Cope

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.  ~ Winnie the Pooh

A reader writes: Today my cat Mischief died! She was the best cat in the world! She died with my parents at our house. I am VERY heart-broken! Besides my dogs she was the only friend that would NEVER get mad at me!!! I mean this is a lot for me to go through at the small age of 10! Do you know of any ways for me to cope but never forget the good times we had?

Pet Loss: Supporting A Teen on the Autism Spectrum through Grief

It is no coincidence that both birds and angels have wings.  ~ Anonymous

A reader writes: My 15 year-old autism spectrum disorder son and his cockatiel were inseparable. Every waking and sometimes sleeping minute his bird was on him or next to him. My son stepped out side yesterday with his cockatiel on his shoulder. His bird flew to the ground just a few feet away and before my son could even take a step a hawk swooped down, grabbed his cockatiel and flew off. With my son's ASD this bird as he put it was his motivation to get out of bed each day. We all are so devastated and concerned for him. I know this only happened yesterday and the shock and pain are fresh but what can we do to not only help him heal but all of us?

Pet Loss: A Young Teen Loses Two Best Friends

Image by ThePixelman from Pixabay 

[Reviewed and updated October 17, 2020]

The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief. But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love.   ~ Hilary Stanton Zunin

A reader writes: I am 13 and recently lost my two best friends: a 19-year-old cat named Sandy, and a 3-year-old Guinea pig named Teddy. Obviously, my cat had been with my family long before I was born. I loved her as I loved a family member, because she was always there with a lick and a purr. Two weeks ago, she stopped breathing and we rushed her to the hospital. We figured she would come out ok and come home but she didn't get better. When I came home from school, I knew that by the look in my mom's eyes, she had to put Sandy to sleep. On Friday, my mom and I buried her with some flowers and a can of her food. Then, just when the huge hole in my heart had just about begun to heal, on fateful Friday, my Guinea pig took sick for the last time.

Coping with Pet Loss, June 2 - June 8, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Pet Grief Is Traumatic: Harder Than Losing a Human Friend, Study Finds http://j.mp/2QLGdnS « Wide Open Pets

Researchers Reveal That Losing A Dog Can Be As Hard As Losing A Loved One, http://j.mp/2QWmSkh « Power of Positivity

The gifts our dying dog gave to my sons, http://j.mp/2KnBMyI « The Washington Post

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Coping with Pet Loss, October 14 - October 20, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Had My Dog Come Back as a Squirrel? http://j.mp/2Al1HBH « Modern Loss

Our cat is teaching our son about aging and dying. http://j.mp/2Ad5QYg « The Death Deck

Loving An Old Dog — And Knowing When To Let Him Go, http://bit.ly/2A9i9VB « Cognoscenti

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 30 - October 6, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Death Guilt: I Feel Like It’s My Fault, http://j.mp/2y8vone « Grief Compass

10 Ways to Overcome Grief-Related Anxiety, http://j.mp/2y95Iqo « Modern Loss

Talking with Kids about a Death from Addiction (Substance Use), http://j.mp/2y6oH4Z « Moyer Foundation

Helping Young Children with Pet Loss

When a cherished pet dies, parents have a valuable opportunity to teach their children that although grief hurts, it's a fact of life, it's a part of being human, and it happens whenever we lose someone we love. 

A reader writes: Three months ago our beloved 17-year-old dog Lady passed away. Honestly we knew it was coming. We believe she caught a cold that turned to pneumonia and she could no longer fight it. As I sit here writing this I am crying because it is still painful to realize. My four-year-old daughter is still bringing it up a least three times a month if not more.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 16 - September 22, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Who knew? Nation-wide service connects people to local resources, http://j.mp/2QO3i9h « 2-1-1.org

64 of the Best Things Ever Said to a Griever, http://j.mp/2DimJo1 « What's Your Grief?

Explaining Pet Death To Children, http://j.mp/2Nr2skz «BK Books

Coping with Pet Loss, August 12 - August 18, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

'My dog was looking into my eyes as she died': the grief of losing a pet is real, http://j.mp/2MTB4rd « The Guardian

Pet Loss: Involving Children in the Euthanasia Decision, http://j.mp/2P1SljD « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Pet Loss: Involving Children in the Euthanasia Decision

[Reviewed and updated December 8, 2022]

As an adult or child, experiencing grief means to 'feel,' not just to 'understand.' Anyone old enough to love is old enough to grieve. Even before children are able to talk, they grieve when someone loved dies. And these feelings about the death become a part of their lives forever. ~ Alan D. Wolfelt

A reader writes: Last month our family dog was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer. Soon after, my husband and I spoke with our now 7-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter about our dog's cancer. We shared that she would not get better from it and that she would go to heaven. Our dog is in increasing, uncontrollable pain now, and I expect we will euthanize her soon. I read an excerpt of yours regarding preparing children for pet loss. You recommend involving the children in the decision of euthanasia and being present when it occurs. Do you recommend this for children that are our kids' ages?

Explaining Pet Loss to Children: Some Do's and Don'ts

[Reviewed and updated March 20, 2026]

Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies. ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

Whether it’s a dog or a cat, a Guinea pig, a hamster or a goldfish, the death of a pet is often a young family’s first experience with significant loss. As a grief counselor who also specializes in pet loss, I am often asked by teachers, parents, grandparents and others how best to explain to children the death of a family pet. Here are the points I encourage them to consider.

Pet Loss: Delayed Grief

[Reviewed and updated June 12, 2022]

A lie that is half-truth is the darkest of all lies.  ~ Alfred Tennyson

A reader writes: Hi, I found your website and thought that maybe you could explain something to me. I am 32 years old. I am married with two wonderful small children. I have a great life. I just found out from my parents that my rabbit, Precious, who died 13 years ago, did not pass away the way I had been told.

Coping with Pet Loss, November 19 - November 25, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why parents shouldn’t lie about pet's passing,  http://j.mp/2A5BTrq « Vancouver 24 hrs

Pet Loss and the Holidays: Four Things To Consider When Grieving During the Holidays, http://j.mp/2jkkfbj « Animals in Our Hearts

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Pet Euthanasia: When Is It Time to Say Goodbye?

[Reviewed and updated December 2, 2025]

Deep down we somehow always knew this journey would end. We knew that if we gave our hearts they would be broken. But give them we must for it is all they ask in return. When the time comes, and the road curves ahead to a place we cannot see, we give one final gift and let them run on ahead — young and whole once more. ~ Crystal Ward Kent

A reader writes: Can I ask for your advice? I’m sure the answer lies within me, not you, but maybe you can help.

Coping with Pet Loss, August 13 - August 19, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Pet Hospice: Why You Should Consider It, http://j.mp/2vPpN3s  « Pet MD

Children and Pet Loss: Following Their Lead, http://j.mp/2vV8gtj « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.