If Life Is Difficult, What About Grief?

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Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult -- once we truly understand and accept it -- then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. ~ M. Scott Peck, MD

A reader writes:  I read in one of your recent posts a quotation from The Road Less Traveled about accepting the fact that life is difficult. I'm trying to understand the author's words but failing.

Caregiving and Hospice, February 16 - February 22, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Pssst! Is That Guilt Whispering in Your Ear? http://j.mp/1l8Z20m « Alzheimer's Reading Room

5 Major Benefits of Hospice Care for Terminally Ill Patients, http://j.mp/1jXrnGF « Medical Diaries

Palliative Care: Bringing Comfort to Pain and Passage, http://j.mp/1bWeTwH « Medicine at Michigan

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 16 - February 22, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Sometimes You’re Sad ~ It's Only Natural, http://j.mp/1jo9AG7 « Einstein's Gifts

Yes! Everyone Grieves Differently, http://j.mp/MNNuBq « Alive in Memory

Grief Frenemies: How "sometimes a friend/ sometimes and enemy" applies to grief, http://j.mp/1cB1isD « TewksburyPatch

Coping with Pet Loss, February 16 - February 22, 2014

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Facts on End of Life Care for Dogs, http://j.mp/1fftbZP « Adventures of a Dog Mom

Residual Grief: Father Loss in Early Childhood

Find the updated version of this post here:

Coping with Father Loss in Early Childhood

A reader writes: I'm 35 years old and was nine years old when I lost my father. I live my life in a perpetual state of loss, it seems. I'm able to find a lot of joy, but it's always shadowed by an inevitable sense of sadness and loneliness. Sometimes, like right now, it just hurts and I don't know what to do with it. I've had years of therapy, with various therapists; I've been in 12-step programs; read numerous books on the subject, but I still live with this deep sense of loss. I guess I just want to know -- WILL IT EVER GO AWAY??

Caregiving and Hospice, February 9 - February 15, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Beautiful tribute to hospice workers: Love, care and hospice work, http://j.mp/1cIEuUo « eHospice

Must read: 'Death: Fighting It or Embracing It? Part One' By Thomas Lorenz, http://j.mp/1foTs2t « It's OK to Die

"Horribly depressing news about mammograms": Survival rates vs. mortality rates, http://j.mp/1b0d157 « The Incidental Economist

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 9 - February 15, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Griefcase: What Will "They" Say? Ten Tacky Things and Ten Top Things to Say Back, http://j.mp/1jmDJF9 « Griefcase

Film Review: “Rabbit Hole” (2010) by John Cameron Mitchell,  http://j.mp/1gKBhq9 « SevenPonds Blog

Excellent piece: 'You Aren't Here Now: How Grief and Mindfulness Don't Mix,'  http://j.mp/1jmvjxx « HuffPost Healthy Living

Coping with Pet Loss, February 9 - February 15, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

We Euthanize Dying Animals, Don’t We? http://j.mp/1glrFE8 « SevenPonds Blog

What to Do When You Learn Your Pet Has Cancer, http://j.mp/1fkpHjh « Veterinary Wisdom Professionals

The Irony and Inconsistency of Grief

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by Charles W. Sidoti and Rabbi Akiva Feinstein

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart. Don’t scratch for answers that cannot be given now. The point is to try to live everything. Live the questions for now. Perhaps then, someday far into the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.  ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

When life turns difficult, a common way of trying to get around the pain is to try to think our way out of the situation. The problem with this is that it assumes the process of effectively dealing with emotional upset and spiritual challenges is linear, sort of like a Betty Crocker recipe, in that one step necessarily follows another in order to get the desired outcome. The truth is that the process of inner healing is inherently non-linear and is often contradictory.

Caregiving and Hospice, February 2 - February 8, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

‘Aid in Dying’ Movement Takes Hold in Some States, http://j.mp/1koik1v « New York Times

Beyond Hospice: End-of-Life Care for the 21st Century, http://j.mp/1fO5Psx « Altarum Institute

Elders and Pet Ownership: A Balance of Love, http://j.mp/1bcBNPX « The Intentional Caregiver

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 2 - February 8, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Outstanding commentary: Philip Seymour Hoffman - What a Waste, http://j.mp/1dvM5oJ « Widow's Voice

The Power of the Simple Letter, http://j.mp/1ivMsFc « Writing the Heartache Blog

Well said: Philip Seymour Hoffman: A Man We All Knew (But Didn’t), http://j.mp/LUMtHm « Modern Loss

Coping with Pet Loss, February 2 - February 8, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Not 'Just a Cat' -- Surprising Responses to My Mourning, http://j.mp/1lEa7I7 « HuffPost Healthy Living

Animals help us to be better humans, http://j.mp/1b6z2jk « Two Old Horses and Me

Why End-of-Life Care??? http://j.mp/1gMNHSU « Henderson Mobile Veterinary Services

Why? Why Me? Searching for Answers in Grief

Source

[Reviewed and updated May 6, 2024]

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

A reader writes: I have never been a religious person. But it seems that when you have such a tragedy in your life like losing a husband of 40 years that you seem to turn that way because you are looking for an answer. All the books that I seem to read talk about the plan that God has in store for you. Why I get so upset is that I was completely happy with my old plan - being with the love of my life until we were, say, 90 years old (not just 60). So why take my wonderful plan away and make me so miserable because He has a plan for me?

Caregiving and Hospice, January 26 - February 1, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

ICD and Pacemaker deactivation: It is neither physician-assisted suicide nor euthanasia, http://j.mp/1ijDoTL « Dr. John M

The Bright Side of Caregiving: It's Good For Your Health, http://j.mp/1frOQLU « Caregivers For Home

Sound familiar? When genders collide while caregiving, http://j.mp/1ihnWr0 « AARP Caregiving

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 26 - February 1, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Packing for the Grief Journey, http://j.mp/1fwKQdB « GriefTeach Blog

The Hobbit’s Journey to Mordor, a parable of grief, http://j.mp/1bMK2N3 « HeartLightStudios

Bereavement care service standards launched, http://j.mp/1iWvQsP « eHospice