Voices of Experience: How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents

By Jacqueline Marcell

I want to tell you how much I miss my mother. Bits of her are still there. I miss her most when I am sitting across from her.  ~ Candy Crowley

Jacqueline Marcell is a former television executive who gave up her career to take care of her challenging elderly father and sweet mother, both with undiagnosed Alzheimer’s. The experience was so shocking that it compelled her to write her first book, Elder Rage, or Take My Father, Please!, to help caregivers avoid all the pitfalls she experienced and to prevent their frustrations from escalating to any form of elder abuse. Here she offers a glimpse of her caregiving journey:

Caregiving and Hospice, March 24 - March 30, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Jacqueline Marcell - Elderly Patient Care, http://j.mp/2Ov9cLK « Throomers

I Hear You, But I Don't Understand, http://j.mp/2OqXEsN « BK Books

Alex Trebek, Cancer, and the Language of Life-Limiting Illness, http://j.mp/2OoyzyJ « Seven Ponds Blog

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Voices of Experience: Four-Footed Healers Support The Team

by Michael Shannon O’Keefe

Isolation is a natural reaction to depression and grief. If you’re in the depths of depression, it can be hard to pick up the phone and call a friend. If you’ve lost of a loved one, lost your good health, or lost a relationship, you may pull inward and grieve alone.

But just because isolation is natural doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Isolation can create a spiral of despair. Depression and grief cause people to cut themselves off from friends and family, which in turn causes more depression and grief, and so on.

Talk therapy and medications are the standard treatments for these states of mind. Recent research, however, points to another way to help people escape that spiral. It’s been called the pet effect. Simply put, being around animals helps people feel less isolated, depressed, and grief-stricken.

Caregiving and Hospice, June 24 - June 30, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How to Be a Friend Until the End, http://j.mp/2yTzsen « Lion's Roar

Music and Memory Provides Comfort for the Elderly and Dementia Patients, http://j.mp/2tFCjCR « Seven Ponds Blog

What’s ignored in the debate over aid in dying,  http://j.mp/2yTK8tv « San Francisco Chronicle

Caregiving and Hospice, April 10 - April 23, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream:

A Love Letter – “You Are The Light of Hospice,” http://j.mp/1P9oiAD « Hospice Times

Podcast: Using the Independent Death Doula in Healthcare, http://j.mp/1T3nQ6f « Hospice Times

Your anger towards doctors is misplaced, http://j.mp/214f65Z « Kevin MD

Caregiving and Hospice, January 25 - January 31, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Dying Shouldn't Be So Brutal, http://j.mp/1CYXIoV « The New York Times Opinionator

What I'll Do With My Parents' Facebook After They Die, http://j.mp/167bGYp « The Atlantic

Healing Power of Music: Alive Inside Official Trailer 1 (2014), http://j.mp/1DqImYo « YouTube

Caregiving and Hospice, December 7 - December 13, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Facts About Senior Care Costs, http://j.mp/1zjE97P « Caring.com

Conscious Living and Dying: What Really Matters ~ Presentation by Karen Wyatt, MD, http://j.mp/16juDrN « SlideShare

How to Be A Good Friend to Someone With Cancer, http://j.mp/1DchqQ3 « What Next

Caregiving and Hospice, February 9 - February 15, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Beautiful tribute to hospice workers: Love, care and hospice work, http://j.mp/1cIEuUo « eHospice

Must read: 'Death: Fighting It or Embracing It? Part One' By Thomas Lorenz, http://j.mp/1foTs2t « It's OK to Die

"Horribly depressing news about mammograms": Survival rates vs. mortality rates, http://j.mp/1b0d157 « The Incidental Economist

Caregiving and Hospice, January 12 - January 18, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

3 Services for the Elderly Who Need Help at Home, http://j.mp/1hz5DNU « The CareGiver Partnership

The Best Conversation to Have With Your Kids NOW So You Don't Put Strain on Them Later,  http://j.mp/1awsCE6 « The Caregiver Space

Top 6 Blogs for Caregivers (Aging Parents Edition), http://j.mp/1mhRxDu « The Caregiver Space

Caregiving and Hospice, November 17 - November 23, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Use Your Bereavement Support System Wisely, http://j.mp/18SKR5n « Open to Hope

How doctors die, http://j.mp/I6zmRC « Marketplace

My Cancer Circle™ – an effective way to organize and to coordinate cancer care, http://j.mp/1fiodLv « Caregiving Cafe Blog

Caregiving and Hospice, September 8 - September 14, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why docs don’t do death? http://j.mp/14LWmvF « Sunrise Rounds

A beautiful 3-minute video about forgiveness, generosity and gratitude, http://j.mp/164LfeR « Pinterest

Friday Favorites: Suicide Prevention Week Edition, http://j.mp/1db9QVp « What's Your Grief?

Planning a Funeral: Top 3 Things You Should Know, http://j.mp/1g7KCH2 « Living with Dying

What I Did With What I Learned from Caregiving, http://j.mp/15W4VIx « The Caregiver Space

Caregiving and Hospice, June 30 - July 13, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Choosing Wisely: 5 Things Physicians, Patients Should Question, http://j.mp/15DCig6 « AAHPM

5 Tips to Help Aging Parents Retain Their Independence, http://j.mp/15aP9o0 « DailyFinance

Top Mistakes and Misconceptions for Patients with Dementia, http://ow.ly/mOylB « BeClose

What to do if aging parents won't listen or receive help graciously, http://bit.ly/10OQcKC « AARP Bulletin

Nineteen Purple Flairs: How we can respond to public tragedy, http://j.mp/1bvd06u « Hospice of the Valley

Caregiving and Hospice, June 23 - June 29, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

When caregiving begins to take a massive toll, http://j.mp/19GA041 « Caregiver Stress

Caring for People Who Are Deaf, http://wp.me/p1bB1v-12w « TheWorkingCaregiver

Managing the highs and lows of caregiving, as reported by Rachel Pomerance, http://ow.ly/mucHi « U.S. News and World Report

It may be difficult to talk about end of life and hospice, but it's worse if you don't, http://j.mp/16FCHh0 « eHospice

Learn more about Dignity Therapy, http://ow.ly/mtuZU « Hospice Buffalo

Caregiving and Hospice, May 26 - June 1, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

On prolonging life in an era of limited resources: Love & Let Die, http://j.mp/11ijQHW « WNYC

Lovely! Amy Goyer's take on the importance of family meals and her 89 yr old Dad saying grace, http://j.mp/11ITaC9 « YouTube

7 Tips to Help Beat Your Aging Parent's Loneliness, http://ow.ly/lzkfy « Forbes

What To Do When Displeased With Our Parent's Care,  http://ow.ly/lzEDh « AgingCare.com

Good tips to avoid family caregiving disputes, http://ow.ly/lxh6q « TimesUnion.com

Caregiving After A Stroke: Suggested Resources

[Reviewed and updated January 29, 2024]

Every one of us needs to show how much we care for each other, and in the process, care for ourselves. ~ Princess Diana

A reader writes: In all the years I’ve known her, my mom (age 79) has never been sick. Since my dad died six months ago, she’s been in and out of hospitals four times. She suffered a stroke and has had multiple seizures, all coming out of nowhere! If that wasn't enough, we now have to have 24 hour, 7 day care to make sure she doesn't stroke/seize again. We can't afford around the clock care so we are doing it ourselves. My sisters and I are trying our best to fulfill this sometime overwhelming duty. I am pulling the graveyard shift and it is killing me....

Caregiving and Hospice, March 17 - March 23, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Tethered to a pole: the challenge of end of life decisions, http://j.mp/11vY5Xi by Ishani Ganguli

Ask Elizabeth: What Is Palliative Care? http://j.mp/X2eG38 by Natalie Strouth, RN

Powerful description of caregiving and grief: Suddenly, They're All Gone, http://j.mp/Zimw32 « NYT

Latest Professionally Speaking Interview with Joan Teno, MD, MS, http://j.mp/14ccUOX « Hospice Foundation of America

Film Review: Amour http://bit.ly/ZYouXm « Seven Ponds Blog

Caregiving and Hospice, March 3 - March 9, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

ER doctor's perspective on doing CPR on the elderly woman who died, http://j.mp/Y0sGW3

Amid CPR Controversy, Many Unanswered Questions, http://j.mp/XSJVfa « New York Times

5 Ways to Overcome Mid-Life Regret: Tips to deal with could've should've would've, http://buff.ly/XWga9W  « AgingCare.com 

After the Caregiving Ends, http://j.mp/ZiGmf5 « New York Times

Your Death Is Your Headline, http://j.mp/YzOlXq « Anushka Fernandopulle

Caregiving and Hospice, February 24 - March 2, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

For the Elderly, Lists of Tests to Avoid, http://j.mp/VdPFjS « New York Times

How to Develop Effective End-of-Life Plans, http://dlvr.it/3177DR

How hospice chaplains work with caregivers and patients at end-of-life, http://ow.ly/i650u from @ctffox via @efuneral

Paws and effect: How dogs lift our spirits, http://bit.ly/YCvko6 via @thatslauderdale 

Bereavement and grief: What every oncologist should know, http://j.mp/ZBoQVm « Hematology Oncology

Caregiving and Hospice, January 20 - January 25, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

End-of-life care rarely discussed, http://b.globe.com/WVhOcg « Boston Globe

Can I be forced to love with my mom? http://j.mp/YsMZk6 « Caregiver Stress

Important questions to ask at a physician appointment, http://ow.ly/gSsPh

Five tips for long-distance caregiving, http://ow.ly/h2EG6 via @beclosedotcom

Caregiving Resource Center: great source of online information supporting families, http://bit.ly/W0DF4E via @AARPHawaii

Caregiving and Hospice, January 6 - January 12, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Fatally Ill, and Making Herself the Lesson, http://j.mp/V1usYe « New York Times

Good comments on Costs of Medical Care at the End of Life, http://j.mp/WIZFwm « New York Times

Mom's Coming to Live with Us: How Should I Prepare My Family?  http://buff.ly/WyWhUs « AgingCare.com

8 Websites To Help Caregivers Manage Money,  http://ow.ly/gyrB6 « eCaring

A time of caregiving crisis is the wrong time to make important descions. Plan ahead, http://conta.cc/WqLvQU