Voices of Experience: Sounding The Alarm for Cats Dying in Clothes Dryers

A danger foreseen is half avoided. ~ Thomas Fuller

Prevent Tragic Accidents: Put Reminder Stickers on Your Washer and Dryer!

This past March, Anne's life changed forever. While working from home, struggling with internet issues during a meeting, she moved to another room and briefly paused and restarted her noisy clothes dryer. Tragically, in that brief moment, her beloved 9-year-old, 7-pound cat sought refuge in the warmth of the machine. Anne didn’t anticipate this, and when she restarted the dryer, her kitty was inside. Her cat perished in what has become Anne's worst nightmare. This is her story.

Pet Loss: Yet Another Kitten Killed in Clothes Dryer

[Reviewed and updated December 2, 2025]

A deliberate mistake is not the same as an accidental one.  ~ Frank Sonnenberg

A reader writes: My mother saved three kittens from a feral life when she found them on her property by a feral mom. She watched them closely until mom had started weaning them then she took them in and had been raising them for the last couple months. They’re finally big enough for their sterilization surgeries and they are scheduled. I’ve been around animals my entire life. I’ve worked as an assistant in the veterinary field so I’m no stranger to animal care or loss. However yesterday crushed me.

Pet Loss: Relinquishment Leads to Unresolved Guilt

[Reviewed and updated June 12, 2022]

Every man is guilty of the good he did not do.  ~ Voltaire

A reader writes: I found your site quite by accident and felt I had to write. I am hurting and I don't know how to heal. I am a 60-year-old widow of seven years. My husband died of brain cancer. We had a good life for 23 years, and I was devastated when he died. Not only because of losing him, but there was no insurance, so I was penniless. I had a little Chihuahua named Pepper whom I loved dearly as well. She was such a sweetheart and gave me so much comfort.

Disenfranchised Grief: Mourning An Invisible Love

[Reviewed and updated December 23, 2025]

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
~ Kahlil Gibran

A reader writes: Three months ago, I lost my friend of 11 years to breast cancer. It happened suddenly when treatment seemed to be going ok. It was a long distance, unusual and complicated friendship. Trapped in an unhappy marriage, she lived in a different country, me across the ocean. We would text, phone, Skype, email every single day. Every day. Write letters. Send gifts every Christmas. I wear clothes she bought me on most days. It wasn't just a friendship. We loved each other. And I do mean loved in the strongest possible terms. Loved. Soul mates. Eleven years. Our friendship was so beautiful. We told each other we loved each other every single day. We laughed so much together. We supported each other through the hard times. I was there for her always. She was there for me always. We never physically met.

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 15 - April 21, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Regret, http://j.mp/2HRQ9be « Bryan C. Taylor

Advice For New Grievers, http://j.mp/2vtoWJe « Second Firsts

Triggers and Chicks, http://j.mp/2HLFY82 « Soaring Spirits International

Coping with Pet Loss, January 3 - January 13, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Pet Hospice 101: Quality of Life: Recognizing Pain in a Pet, http://j.mp/2FgZCqV « Gentle Journey

Pet Loss: Curious Cats Still Getting Killed in Clothes Dryers, http://j.mp/2Ffdzp6
« Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Pet Loss: Curious Cats Still Getting Killed in Clothes Dryers

[Reviewed and updated December 2, 2025]

Precaution is better than cure.  ~ Edward Coke

In an earlier post I shared a number of stories from members of our online pet loss forum describing their personal experiences with cats and kittens being accidentally killed in clothes dryers.

As I said then, losing a beloved animal in such a horrific way leaves pet parents traumatized with gruesome images and devastating feelings of grief, guilt and remorse.

I’m sorry to say that despite my own efforts to alert and to warn, with an eye toward prevention, these tragic accidents continue to this day.

Pet Loss: Curious Cats Get Killed in Clothes Dryers

Source

[Reviewed and updated December 2, 2025]

Accidents happen. Our bones shatter, our skin splits, our hearts break. We burn, we drown, we stay alive.~ Moïra Fowley-Doyle

Nothing hurts my heart more than hearing from an animal lover whose cherished companion animal has died in an accident that could have been prevented. In my many years of moderating an online pet loss forum, far too often I have heard from pet parents whose precious cat or kitten has died after being trapped in a clothes washer or dryer. Losing a beloved animal in such a horrific way leaves a person with gruesome images and devastating feelings of grief, guilt and remorse.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 31 - August 6, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Regret: It's Too Late Now, or Is It? http://j.mp/2aoRM2x «  Elaine Mansfield

If You Can’t Stand To Look At The Empty Chair – Sit In It, http://j.mp/2awskFn « The Grief Toolbox

25 Years After Losing My Father to Suicide, Sadness Resurfaces, http://j.mp/2aVFHmF « The Gift of Second

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 17 - May 23, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Elaine Stillwell: Thinking Positively, http://j.mp/1Llielo « Grief Digest Magazine

Picking Up the Scraps, http://j.mp/1BgNz39 « Widower's Grief

Book Review: The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages, http://j.mp/1JHy2Ap « Seven Ponds Blog

Guilt And Regret Following The Death of a Friend

Source

[Reviewed and updated November 27, 2025]

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.  ~ Maria Robinson

A reader writes: Do you have any articles or can you suggest a book that will be helpful to me? I lost a long time friend. We had some unresolved conflict caused by me. I was unable to be with her during the past 2 years as she fought cancer. She shut me out. I deserved it. I am grieving the loss, the lack of closure, and guilt. It is hell. Can you point me to some help? Please?

My response: I’m so sorry to learn of the death of your friend, and of course there is nothing I can say to erase the load of guilt that you are carrying around with you in the wake of your loss. In the end, the only one who can forgive you is you, as I'm sure you already know.

I certainly can tell you that guilt is one of the most common reactions in loss – guilt for what you may have done or failed to say or do.

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 31 - April 6, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Audio: Good Mourning: Talking to Children About Death and Grief, http://j.mp/XYPpXh « The Grief Toolbox

When Good Grief Goes Bad: Complicated or Prolonged Grief, http://j.mp/10Be42t via @AllenFrancesMD

Grief and Pinterest,  http://j.mp/10iQAQ3 « What's Your Grief

Lovely metaphor for grief: Masterpiece In the Making, http://j.mp/YxSBbG « Widow's Voice

Why Rituals Still Matter,  http://j.mp/13U3o4f « Grief Digest Magazine

Caregiving and Hospice, March 3 - March 9, 2013

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

ER doctor's perspective on doing CPR on the elderly woman who died, http://j.mp/Y0sGW3

Amid CPR Controversy, Many Unanswered Questions, http://j.mp/XSJVfa « New York Times

5 Ways to Overcome Mid-Life Regret: Tips to deal with could've should've would've, http://buff.ly/XWga9W  « AgingCare.com 

After the Caregiving Ends, http://j.mp/ZiGmf5 « New York Times

Your Death Is Your Headline, http://j.mp/YzOlXq « Anushka Fernandopulle

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 3 - June 9, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Widow's Voice: Proud [of the W-word], http://j.mp/L8wscT
  
  
• Touching! On Loss and Regret, http://post.ly/7gyRV from @maykilmer via @dtanton
  
  
• Awesome tool for grief support groups! Tear Soup Cooking Tips (free download), http://bit.ly/MoLdsA by @griefwatch
  
  
• Tear Soup: A Recipe For Healing After Loss (book review), http://ht.ly/bre8x by @ChoosingChange
  
  
• Grief Watch June Newsletter: Read it here, http://bit.ly/Kp6hfv by @griefwatch

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 13 - May 19, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Stay Put? Or move forward in grief? http://j.mp/Js6RXD « The Grief Toolbox
  
  
• How alternative therapies can help in healing grief, http://j.mp/Js6kVA  « Interview by @SevenPonds
  
  
• Tips on how to heal a relationship: start by healing the self, http://bit.ly/wfovIF via @LovingTransform
  
  
• Grief: painful but precious, http://ow.ly/1jSJxe from @NEPetHospice via @GriefHelp
  
  
• Psychology of Regret,  http://vsb.li/H6VqbY by @DrMelanieG  « Psychology Today

Guilt and Regret in Grief

[Reviewed and Updated October 15, 2025]

The message of shame is “I am bad.” The message of guilt is “I did something bad.” ~ Dale Larson

A reader writes: Since my mother died, there are so many things I feel guilty about. All of the times she asked me to do something for her and I put it off. All of the times I rolled my eyes when she couldn't do things for herself. She lived in our home for two years after a major heart attack. I took care of her up until the last two weeks, when I finally called in hospice to help. That was the best thing I ever did. They helped us get through the dying process. But the guilt I feel is driving me crazy. I feel like a horrible person, and I wish I could tell her how I feel. She was 90 when she died, and lived a good life, had many friends and she seemed to be happy up until the last few weeks, when she became too weak to do the things she enjoyed. I wasn't always there for her, as I also work full time. I don't quite know how to handle this guilt and I am very depressed. Has anyone else had these kinds of feelings?

My response: This feeling of guilt in the aftermath of significant loss is so common as to be universal. Much has been written about why we experience it and what we can do to cope with it. (See, for example, The Burden of Guilt in Grief.)

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 27 - December 3, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Infant Loss: Healing Through the Anniversaries, http://bit.ly/rIn8zK by @KristineBrite

• Fear of Loss from Grieving Dads Project, http://j.mp/tGrC87 

• Tips for riding waves of grief when parenting a child with special needs this Christmas, http://bit.ly/sOAutC by @jolenephilo

• Ashley Davis Bush: 6 Ways to Get a Handle on Holiday Stress, http://j.mp/vnexPX

• December Newsletter, http://j.mp/sq33v9  from @OpenToHope

Coping with Pet Loss, January 9 - January 15

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• The Love for a Companion Animal: As Unconditional as It Gets, http://ow.ly/3EbjL by @GriefRecovery

• Helping Children with Grief for a Pet, http://bit.ly/f1A29j by @dogtipper 

• Blog theme for 2011: Life with Pets, No Regrets! Come see: http://ow.ly/3BbTE by @VetWisdom 

• Coping With The Death of a Dog: A Springboard to Change, http://bit.ly/idhEf4 by @SidKorpi via @k9magazine

Recommended Articles

Modifying CISD So As Not to Re-traumatize Survivors – Health Journeys and Guided Imagery expert Belleruth Naparstek suggests ways for those providing Critical Incident Stress Debriefing (CISD) to modify their protocol to maximize the benefits and minimize the possible risks: http://bit.ly/2Ewtem

When and How to Use Medicine in Grief – A family practice physician whose youngest son was murdered, Dr. Richard Dew is well acquainted with grief in the wake of homicide. Here he explains the difference between Situational and Clinical Depression, and suggests when pharmacological intervention might be indicated: http://bit.ly/28Yog3

When an Employee is Grieving the Death of a Child – Based on years of assisting bereaved parents to find compassion, understanding and hope following the death of their child, Senior Management Consultant Patrick T. Malone introduces The Compassionate Friends and some guidelines and suggestions for assisting the grieving employee in the workplace: http://bit.ly/2RvwVI

End of Life Counseling: Why It Really Matters – Michael Haederle argues convincingly in favor of “tough but essential conversations among doctors, patients and families” in the August 31, 2009 issue of AARP Bulletin Today: http://bit.ly/1UO2XA

Can We Ever “Accept” the Death of a Loved One? – Most mourners have trouble with words like “acceptance,” because in truth the death of a loved one will never, ever be “acceptable” to us. If these particular words seem bothersome, try substituting words like “reconciliation” and “integration,” and understand that it takes a lot of time and a lot of hard work to get to that point in the grief journey: http://bit.ly/5xEsg.

Learn about Yoga Breathing: A Simple Exercise for Beginners – Re-learning how to carry our bodies so we can breathe correctly is good for our overall health, and “yoga breathing” is one of the most effective ways to do it: http://bit.ly/BjteC

When the Neighborhood is the Retirement Village – Naturally occurring retirement communities (NORCs) are those places not specifically designed for retirees, but with a higher number of elderly residents – some of whom have special needs related to aging. According to Fredda Vladdeck, Director of the United Hospital Fund’s Aging in Place Initiative, 25 states have developed service programs in support of NORCs, whose common mission “is transforming communities into good places to grow old:” http://bit.ly/1hG1Ij

How to Release Regret – In this helpful article, Irene Kendig discusses how in grief we might better deal with our assumptions about what we should or shouldn’t have done in a given situation: http://bit.ly/34sqwV

Compassionate Self-Forgiveness, Parts I and II – In a similar vein, Irene Kendig discusses the harsh judgments we place on ourselves when we feel guilty about something we did or failed to do, and offers a way for us to deal with them:
Part I, http://bit.ly/3XWARz
Part II, http://bit.ly/2yo0CG

Caregiving Website is Launched – CareRunner (www.carerunner.com ), an innovative website designed to provide non-professional caregivers with the online tools, information and support to more easily manage the care of loved ones, has announced that the free service has been launched and is available to the public: http://bit.ly/3aEOY0.