Pet Euthanasia Gone Bad

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[Reviewed and updated November 17, 2024]

A reader writes: We put down our 14-year-old huskie at the vet today. She had bad arthitis in her hips and knees and a skin infection we couldn't clear up, but the big thing was she had anal gland cancer. They showed it to us a month ago, and said it was aggressive. We kept her home on meds for pain and infection, and watched it. She still had a great appetite and drank up until yesterday. It just seemed like it was harder and harder for her to get up and down and walk, and that thing on her bottom had to hurt. Anyway, we took her and I don't think I'll be able to get over it if I live to 100.

Caregiving and Hospice, July 22 - July 28, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Alzheimers: 3 Signs It Might Be Time for Hospice, http://ow.ly/cxYsv via @ctffox
  
  
• Outstanding! Opinionator: Don’t Get Sick in July, http://nyti.ms/OFJ5dy via @Victoria_Noe
  
  
• Great video: Dr. Diane Meier discusses differences in Palliative, Hospice and End-of-Life Care, http://buzz.mw/-Vit_y via @legacycubed
  
  
• Use technology to support caregiving duties, http://ow.ly/cwnaH by @AmyGoyer @AARP via @PALSbuilt
  
  
• Wow! Remote caregiving for seniors, http://bit.ly/LMgR4w from @thepctick via @TEDMED

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 22 - July 28, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Great grief resource for Spanish-speaking mourners, http://j.mp/N3QDXv from author and grief counselor Ligea Houben
  
  
• Lovely! Remembering my brother, http://bit.ly/Qja4C3 by @JordanEM
  
  
• Friend Grief and Death Cafe, http://bit.ly/NMG5hJ ~ guest post by @kristiewest via @Victoria_Noe @deathcafe
  
  
• Book Review: Two Kisses For Maddy, http://goo.gl/fb/XBvVv by @ihave7monsters
  
  
• If Only Time Alone Would Heal Our Grief, http://j.mp/O4O9sI by @Esdeer

Feeling Pressured to "Move On" in Grief

Find the latest version of this post here:

In Grief: Feeling Pressured to "Move On"

A reader writes: I was married to a wonderful man for 26 years. At the age of 45 he suffered a massive heart attack and was given a life expectancy of two to five years, but with pacemakers, meds, and various procedures, he was able to be with us another ten years. They were not always easy years, as illness does not bring out the best in any of us. Nevertheless, we fell back in love and had the opportunity and blessing of this past year. We grew very close and he was my best friend. We have a grown son that my husband cherished. My question is this: Why after only six weeks do others think my son needs to move on????? 

I'm not usually one to get upset at my dad, but today I shared with him that my son had a sad day yesterday. His response was that he would "have a talk with him about moving on." I am so angry right now. Why can't people educate themselves on the grief process and understand if we don't deal with it now, it could cause problems in the future? I tried to help my dad understand, but no way can you win with him. I love him dearly, but he has no clue. My son is going out as usual, and he just left for a holiday with friends. So what if he has a bad or sad day? His dad was his best friend as well as his father! Another reason for me to really think about moving as far as I can get from here once a year has passed. Sorry, but I just needed to vent.

Caregiving and Hospice, July 15 - July 21, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Assisted-care too expensive and parent needs more help? Our@AmyGoyer knows, http://aarp.us/NWX1m8 via @AARPFamily
  
  
• Hospice care for Alzheimers http://fb.me/1VJKPeoyH from @VillageMemorial via @NHPCO_news
  
  
• Difference between hospice and palliative care? http://ow.ly/ckCJq from @NCHokie1 via @SalixPharma
  
  
• Eleanor Silverberg: How are grief and stress related in caregiving for dementia? http://j.mp/PrmgdV
  
  
• Excellent summary from HFA: What Makes a Better End of Life Experience? http://j.mp/OJ1xky

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 15 - July 21, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Words of Comfort: A Remembrance - Surviving Grief Following Death of a Child, http://j.mp/MhbLKa
  
  
• Updated: Tips for Coping with Sleeplessness in Grief, http://j.mp/hkoXnZ by @GriefHealing
  
  
• When Tragedy Strikes Everything Changes http://bit.ly/HqyeAH by @griefminister01
  
  
• "The only way around is through" ~Robert Frost, http://bit.ly/NAswA2 via @StoryForHealing
  
  
• Widow's Voice: Surviving, http://j.mp/MHIcRo

Coping with Pet Loss, July 15 - July 21, 2012

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Do animals mourn? How to help pets with grief and loss, http://ow.ly/chbMm via @bluepearlvet

How Do You Know When to Contact Hospice?

[Reviewed and updated January 20, 2023]

Death should not be viewed as a medical failure but as a natural conclusion to life.  ~ Christine Cowgill

A reader writes: My mother died this past December and my dad has been in the hospital since mid-December. They are releasing my dad this week and we are searching for a nursing home. Here is my problem: My brother and his wife feel very strongly about getting hospice involved. (They live in another state and are not here to help me.) We waited too long with my mom and she died before we contacted hospice. I am not getting any opinion from my dad's doctor about how much time he has left, and I realize they don't know that for certain. My question is how do we know when to contact hospice? Can they help us if my dad is in a nursing home? What exactly would they do, if my dad is in a nursing home? My brother wants to find an in-patient hospice, but I don't know if that is the way to go. Any advice or information you can tell me would be great. Thank you so much.

Caregiving and Hospice, July 8 - July 14, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Talking with ‪Families‬ About ‪Hospice‬ Care, http://bit.ly/Lpi7vo
  
  
• Hospice‬ chaplain says it's all about love, http://bit.ly/Mn2XmR
  
  
• Social Media Library on End of Life Care, http://bitly.com/OyFONh
  
  
• Why doctors don't have discussions about poor prognosis and why it matters, http://bit.ly/MkZ01V
  
  
• Lovely! Forgiving Forgetfulness,‬ http://j.mp/LbPYSx‬  | Soundscape ‪MusicTherapy

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 8 - July 14, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Daddy, they took you too soon... http://bit.ly/Nwzswv  | The Grief Toolbox
  
  
• Dealing with The Extra Closet and Drawer Space, http://bit.ly/Mn5VLL | The Grief Toolbox
  
  
• Interesting! Why Steve Jobs' Death Made Millions Of Strangers Grieve, http://onforb.es/LUYOWs
  
  
• Book, A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss by Jerry Sittser: "A treasure in the face of ‪grief‬ and ‪loss‬" ~ Agreed!
  
  
• Good read! Is ‪Grief‬ Causing Me to Lose My ‪Faith‬? http://wp.me/p1l0Zh-7q by @griefminister01

Coping with Pet Loss, July 8 - July 14, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Alkaline Hydrolysis: ‪Natural Cremation‬ Alternative for Animal Lovers, http://j.mp/No1kY3
  
  
• How did you know when to say goodbye? Tears rolling today, http://ow.ly/cdrNN by @Hallie_Sawyer
  
  
• Outstanding! Learning From Lennox, http://j.mp/OzRTBQ « Spirit Scraps
  
  
• Facing the Loss of a Cherished Pet, http://j.mp/Nb5S0W ‪

Caregiving and Hospice, July 1 - July 7, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• How do you explain ‪hospice‬? http://j.mp/M1RZjO ‪‬| GeriPal
  
  
• Parents talking with terminally ill teens and kids about death, http://trib.in/M09Cqs ‪‬
  
  
• 25 Care for the Caregiver Stress Reduction Tips, http://ow.ly/c0PnX
  
  
• Is it moral to allow a person in pain to to endure it? http://bit.ly/rDZKVO
  
  
• Medical Ethics and Me: When Palliative Intent Is Called Into Question, http://j.mp/LXPmkc ‪
  
  
• The CareGiver Partnership is now on Pinterest. Here you'll find everything ‪related to caregiving, http://fb.me/VgHdYLrI

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 1 - July 7, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• 10 Ways to Get Your Anger Out, http://buff.ly/OwZDrt | Esdeer
  
  
• Using Failure as Feedback When Mourning, http://j.mp/N4SsDC
  
  
• Useful article collection on Life After Loss, http://j.mp/LDyBLG ‪| Psychology Today
  
  
• Powerful message: Second Chances, http://j.mp/LT6uuQ ‪| Grief Digest Magazine
  
  
• Answer Coping After Bereavement‬ survey; receive free booklet, 5 Steps to Navigate Grief, ‪http://conta.cc/griefcoping3 | Storybooks for Healing

Voices of Experience: A Toddler in the World of Grief

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Harry Proudfoot lost his wife Jane to neuroendocrine tumor cancer (NET) in December, 2010. In the wake of that devastating loss, he decided the most effective way he could move through his grief was to go after with a vengeance the disease that killed his beloved. The result is his foundation, Walking with Jane, which you can read about here. Still, in the poignant piece he shares with us below, the author acknowledges his struggle to maintain his balance and stay on his feet as he continues learning to walk this difficult path of grief.  

At eighteen months a child is a toddler. The child walks, after a fashion, but sometimes--and for no apparent reason--falls on its butt. Sometimes the surprise induces laughter, sometimes tears. The child can speak, also after a fashion. It communicates in rudimentary words about the most basic of wants and needs--and tears and howls are still a major --though decreasing--part of the package.

Caregiving and Hospice, June 24 - June 30, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Supreme Court ruling implications for ‪hospice‬, ‪palliative‬ care, http://bit.ly/MZrEmI
  
  
• We need to join mainstream ‪media‬ in educating public on ‪hospice‬ and ‪palliative‬ care! http://bit.ly/MxpOLH
  
  
• Dogs demonstrate empathy to crying strangers, http://usat.ly/MYTjbc
  
  
• Precious! Pet Peace of Mind: A Little Dog's Heart http://j.mp/MDx5Mx ‪‬
  
  
• Facing Frailty at End of Life, http://j.mp/MW35c9 ‪#eol‬

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 24 - June 30, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• When Scattering Cremated Remains, Be Considerate, http://j.mp/N03oB4
  
  
• Visit ‪Grief‬ Healing on ‪Pinterest‬: Articles, books, resources for bereaved, http://j.mp/KIBb1q
  
  
• Take Awaken to Good Mourning along as a guide to ‪grief‬, http://tinyurl.com/6mzkrzf
  
  
• Good read: Social Media Changes Grieving Process, http://bit.ly/L5ru3i ‪
  
  
• Beautiful! A Love Letter to Colorado, http://j.mp/MXxdpc « Two Old Horses and Me

Coping with Pet Loss, June 24 - June 30, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Visit Grief Healing's ‪Pet Loss‬ Board on ‪Pinterest‬, http://j.mp/MY3a0w
  
  
• How Do I Research Hospice Care for My Pet? http://j.mp/KQTyG5‬
  
  
• Advancing ‪Animal‬ ‪Hospice‬: IAAHPC Conference November 1-4, 2012 in Denver, http://wp.me/pcDnY-kk
  
  
• Pet Loss‬: Quality of Life Scale Helps Make Final Call, http://j.mp/L9DlIT