In Grief: Comparing Pet Loss to Loss of a Person

I question whether experiences of such severe loss can be quantified and compared.  Loss is loss, whatever the circumstances.  All losses are bad, only bad in different ways.  No two losses are ever the same.  Each loss stands on its own and inflicts a unique kind of pain.  What makes each loss so catastrophic is its devastating, cumulative, and irreversible nature . . . So whose loss is worse, hers or mine?  It is impossible to give an answer.  Both are bad, but bad in different ways.  ~ Jerry Sittser in A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 5 - August 11, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Ouch. New post, and it's brutal. Read with caution, http://j.mp/QoPw4W via @brownie1301
  
  
• Agreed: Absolutely excellent! “Real” Men and Mourning, http://j.mp/RAPYBf by @CalebWilde via @UnweddedWidow
  
  
• "Forgotten Mourners!" Who are they? What does it mean? http://conta.cc/RtmlmT via @markhundley
  
  
• If you do something to help others in grief, share it in the comments, http://www.facebook.com/grieftoolbox/posts/331946840229870?notif_t=share_comment … « The Grief Toolbox
  
  
• A beautiful sound: Add your loved one's name to the comment list, http://www.facebook.com/grieftoolbox/posts/228138287308030 …  « The Grief Toolbox

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 8 - July 14, 2012

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Daddy, they took you too soon... http://bit.ly/Nwzswv  | The Grief Toolbox
  
  
• Dealing with The Extra Closet and Drawer Space, http://bit.ly/Mn5VLL | The Grief Toolbox
  
  
• Interesting! Why Steve Jobs' Death Made Millions Of Strangers Grieve, http://onforb.es/LUYOWs
  
  
• Book, A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss by Jerry Sittser: "A treasure in the face of ‪grief‬ and ‪loss‬" ~ Agreed!
  
  
• Good read! Is ‪Grief‬ Causing Me to Lose My ‪Faith‬? http://wp.me/p1l0Zh-7q by @griefminister01

After Death Communication, Continued

In earlier posts (After Death Communication and After Death Communication: A List of Resources)  I’ve shared my own special interest in this topic because, in my role as a grief counselor, I support grief-stricken individuals in their efforts to maintain loving connections with their deceased loved ones ~ including such post-death encounters as After Death Communications (ADCs).

I am drawn to and continually amazed by ADC stories, as the bereaved discover and describe the many ways their deceased loved ones still manage to communicate with them, sending messages of comfort and hope from beyond.

In addition to the resources listed in my earlier posts, I want to recommend two more books I’ve just finished reading. Both authors beautifully acknowledge the power of love in navigating their way through grief to hope, and describe in detail how they cultivated their ability to recognize the ongoing presence of their departed loved ones.  Their stories are personal, convincing, uplifting and life-affirming.

Coping with Pet Loss, December 19 - December 25

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• A secret tree in NYC Central Park memorializes animals, http://ow.ly/3tKaU RT @VetWisdom @PetDecisions

• Honoring the bond and the grief that stems from pet loss, http://ow.ly/3sBsG via @VetWisdom

• Coping with parent loss, pet loss and grief work during the holidays, http://bit.ly/eyvxY6 

• Coping with pet loss and grief during the holidays, http://j.mp/hAANsJ by @consciouscats via @VetWisdom 

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 17 - October 23

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Contacting communicating with spirits, http://bit.ly/b1uvPB by @pendletonauthor

• The New Grief: Is Creativity the Way out of Mourning? by Joseph Nowinski, Ph.D., http://huff.to/csvl1t

• Does Grief After Traumatic Death Ever End? Grief Expert Says No, http://ow.ly/19AKOV

• Approaching the Holidaze when grief doesn't go away, http://bit.ly/asnWnc by @motherhenna

• Creating a Grief Recovery Bucket List | Open to Hope Foundation, http://bit.ly/cNWQIX 

• Healing through community service and volunteering, http://bit.ly/dbLIrd 

• Men Coping With Grief by Linda N. Edelstein, Ph.D., http://bit.ly/9ujEMa via @tcm007 @addthis 

• Another's perspective on multiple loss and learning to live! http://bit.ly/ai7YRH by @DoyleDiana

• Simple but effective tip: If You're Grieving, Don't Forget to Breathe, http://ow.ly/19zypG by @WorldbytheTail 

• Surviving Halloween and the holidays when grieving,  http://bit.ly/aeds6z by @DoyleDiana

• 25 Inspirational Thoughts on Coping with Grief: Free e-book by Ellen Gerst, http://bit.ly/coLFMq

• Ways to Survive Grief During Halloween Season | Open to Hope Foundation, http://bit.ly/barnly

• He Keeps Talking about the Late Wife http://bit.ly/9bNhmz by @abelkeogh

• New site to help in search for healing from grief http://bit.ly/dyTYKp via @stangoldberg

• Griefwalker Canadian independent film about embracing life by befriending death http://icio.us/eufzxl via @ctsinclair 

• Unexpected healing from father-loss http://bit.ly/bSsJYv via @HelloGrief 

• Is the second year of grief harder than the first? http://bit.ly/btZ77Y by @sbaffone via @soaringspirits

• The New Grief: When Your Family Can't Cope with Your Diagnosis, http://ow.ly/19w5YB via @GriefHelp

• New research suggests adversity builds resiliency: http://bit.ly/cvekAP What do you think? via RT @soaringspirits

• Grief: the most available untapped emotional resource for personal transformation, http://bit.ly/dx3B28

• Pieces of Me: Staying connected to deceased loved one, by Dave Roberts | Open to Hope Foundation, http://bit.ly/b4P6n2 

• Love remains even as closets are emptied: Meaning of Mementos | Open to Hope Foundation, http://bit.ly/cCdQ1Z

• To help another in grief: Share Memories of the Deceased | Open to Hope Foundation http://bit.ly/anlJuC

 

Coping with Pet Loss, October 3 - October 9, 2010

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• If you're feeling guilty about pet loss, forgive yourself, http://bit.ly/aufyA1 by @WorldbytheTail

• OPRAH spotlights Angels Gate animal hospice, http://bit.ly/bKqYzA via @hospice_news

• Do Dogs Grieve? Great post on Dogster's Vet Blog http://bit.ly/aYCa0p via @WorldbytheTail

• Helping a Pet Grieve for a "Buddy," http://t.co/swIkwm1 by @WorldbytheTail

• Pet Loss Counselor Susan Cohen @PetDecisions discusses after-death pet care options in this radio interview, http://ow.ly/2Nxil

Is Pet Loss Comparable to Loss of a Loved One?

Find an updated version of this post here:

In Grief: Comparing Pet Loss to Loss of A Person

A while ago I received the following e-mail message from a visitor to my Grief Healing website:

I'm sure you are a lovely person. You’re a hospice volunteer who’s gone through grief yourself and I am sorry for your losses. But I am grieving, too. I lost both of my parents 3 years ago and they died just 9 days apart. They were sick and elderly (89 and 85) and had been in the hospital for about a month when they passed away. I can tell you that it was horrible; more horrible than you can ever imagine. I watched them suffer and then lost them both. Since then, I've also lost two aunts and my favorite uncle. With my aunt's death in August, I really had a setback in the grieving process and I finally decided that I better get some professional help from a psychiatrist. I did and he put me on antidepressants.  Now, on to the reason I’m writing. And I don't mean to attack you, I really don't mean it like that. I just want you to know that I don't think that your grief sites should include grief over lost pets. 

Coping with Pet Loss, August 22 - August 28

From Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Take those pictures of your pet while you still can! http://bit.ly/cjnE5F

• Memorialize a beloved pet with an exquisite fine art sculpture, http://tinyurl.com/38uxo6v (via @peternity)

• New brochure provides information and resources when a dog is diagnosed with cancer, http://bit.ly/aTtf0J via @georgiaslegacy

• In Home Euthanasia can be a peaceful option, http://bit.ly/cXPTKy (via @IngridKing) 

• Maintaining the bond following pet loss, by Sid Korpi: http://bit.ly/bJR0xi 

• Cartoonist Nick Galifianakis says goodbye to his best friend Zuzu, http://bit.ly/dbZ5a2 (via @DianaSebzda)

• Ever heard of the Int'l Monday Night Pet Memorial Candle Ceremony? Quite incredible, http://tinyurl.com/ygpxp44 via @peternity 

• Please don't leave your pet in a hot car! youtube.com/watch?v=WOrnPu… via @youtube

• Sign from a deceased pet: A Naked Lady, by Dr. Nancy Kay, http://bit.ly/bKMPZo 

• Losing a special pet causes grief and questions, http://bit.ly/by69rl