In Grief: Everyone's Loss Is Somehow Different But The Same

A reader writes: Every time I hear someone call my husband's name I am reminded that he is gone. He was so young. My grown children were very angry at God that he took their father at 66, they thought it wasn't fair, he didn't have more time on earth. Still, I read this morning of a widow whose husband was only 46, that is really very very young. We all think this terrible thing is only happening to us until we read of others and their pain, and then we can understand everyone's loss is somehow different but the same.
I am trying to move slowly on with my life as I know that is what he would have wanted me to do. He would be telling me "move on, be happy, I will be waiting for you."

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 23 - December 29, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Our Most-Read Stories of 2018, http://j.mp/2QUyVSd « Modern Loss

Mary Poppins Returns Gets Grief Right, http://j.mp/2BXVOdl « What's Your Grief?

Grief Can Actually Kill You, And Scientists Have Figured Out Why, http://j.mp/2QO61TP « Science Alert

From My Heart to Yours This Christmas

Yes, Santa Claus is real ~ 

There is a spirit illuminating the lights and sparkle ~
a quality 
that can be found 
under the whoosh of sleds 
and the memories of ornaments.

Caregiving and Hospice, December 16 - December 22, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Documentary Review: "The Sum Total of Our Memory: Facing Alzheimer's Together," http://j.mp/2QH43o0 « Seven Ponds Blog

Nurses Again Outpace Other Professions for Honesty, Ethics, http://j.mp/2QHl3KR « GALLUP

What the FDA forgets in the battle against e-cigarettes, http://j.mp/2QJpncu « Kevin MD

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 16 - December 22, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Christmas Eve Luminarias: A New Mexico Tradition, http://j.mp/2BC2rS2 « A Good Goodbye

Introducing the We Remember Memorialization Service, http://j.mp/2BxtvBZ « A Good Goodbye

Coping with The Holidays: Suggested Resources 2018, http://bit.ly/2AMA8Br « Grief Healing

Voices of Experience: The Christmas Cap

By Cathy Cash Spellman

There it was on top of the armoire, quiet in the dust of the years, the bright red newsboy cap that had been my Father's favorite as long as I could remember. Like the tin soldier in Eugene Field's poem Little Boy Blue, "awaiting the touch of a little hand, the smile of a little face," tucked away long ago and then forgotten in the crush of every day needs and the inexorable turning of the years.

Touching it with reverent fingers, I was a child again, the years dissolved, my father's hand in mine, laughing with me in the snow.

Caregiving and Hospice, December 9 - December 15, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What Is The Advance Directive For Dementia?  http://j.mp/2BiNQLk « Seven Ponds Blog

Caregiver Checklist: 5 Things to Prepare When Caring for a Loved One at Home, http://bit.ly/2NzNMem « Hospice Red River Valley

Dr. Ira Byock Says Words are a Powerful Tool That Shape How We View Serious Illness, http://j.mp/2LfXMdf « CSU Institute for Palliative Care

Understanding and Managing Grief: December 9 - December 15, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Five things you need to know about your life after loss, http://j.mp/2LgPn9i « Second Firsts

Widowed and Scary~ http://j.mp/2LhN5Xi « Soaring Spirits International

Grief Doesn't Take a Holiday, http://j.mp/2Le4YXa « Widower's Grief

Coping with Pet Loss, December 9 - December 15, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Mobile pet hospice a labor of love for area veterinarian, http://j.mp/2LguNWw « Ahwatukee Foothills News

Did you Know that Hospice Care is for Cats Too? http://j.mp/2LiwPpl « Kitten Toob

Paw Prints: Growing trend: Hospice care for pets, http://j.mp/2C0vWOU « Tribune Star

In Grief: When Church Community Support Is Lacking

[Reviewed and updated March 18, 2021]

With all of the books, articles, videos and seminars available in the world, ignorance on the part of the church or the clergy is no longer defensible. They should know what to say.  ~ Doug Manning

A reader writes: I’m not sure if my feelings are valid or not and I need an outside source to help me with this. To make a long story short, our family has attended a church for around 5 years; this church runs an average attendance of between 500 – 600 people every week. We are very active with the youth group. My problem is that when my father died two months ago, I received only three cards (one very generic from the church, one emailed and one hand delivered), one phone call (from the pastor which was left on the answering machine) and the only two people who attended the viewing or the funeral (the pastor and youth pastor). No flower, food or any other kind of support was offered to us at all. My question is should I be hurt by this…because I am!!!!!!!!!!

Caregiving and Hospice, December 2 - December 8, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

What a kitten taught me about critical care, http://j.mp/2BVzF06 « Kevin MD

A Therapist Says Goodbye, http://j.mp/2BRsndX « Modern Loss 

How to Choose Hospice Care, http://j.mp/2KQzwho « Next Avenue

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 2 - December 8, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Review: Meditation Coloring Books for Grieving, http://j.mp/2BWIZB7 « Seven Ponds Blog

PSA: TAPS These Days #FamiliesNeverForget, http://j.mp/2BXXULl « You Tube

Grief and Not Wanting to Be Alive, http://j.mp/2BW8ylI « Grief Compass

Coping with Pet Loss, December 2 - December 8, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

What a kitten taught me about critical care, http://j.mp/2BVzF06 « Kevin MD

Online Learning: Healing Guilt: Finding Peace and Self-Forgiveness, http://j.mp/2BQf79l  « The Animal Loss & Grief Support Institute

Pet Loss: Coping with The Trauma of An Unexpected Death, http://j.mp/2KPPWGV « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Pet Loss: Coping with The Trauma of An Unexpected Death

Source: Wikipedia

[Reviewed and updated January 2, 2021]

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.
~ Albert Schweitzer

A reader writes: Three weeks ago I found my beloved 18-month-old Ragdoll  kitten Shalimar lying dead on the floor when I got home from work. Even though I have another Ragdoll (Josie, a 3 year old boy), Shalimar was my shadow. She was always at the door when she heard the key in the door and she would follow me from room to room and sit by me purring loudly. We had a routine every day from the time I got up to get ready to go to work with her bringing me her ball to throw for her to playing chase around the apartment before I left. She would come and sit by me and beg for Cracker Jacks in the evening. As soon as I walked into the apartment, she would greet me and lead me into the apartment, checking over her shoulder, to make sure I was still following her. Her purring would just echo off the walls. She was always so happy.

Caregiving and Hospice, November 25 - December 1, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

How to Help Patients at the End of Life and Their Loved Ones During the Holidays, http://j.mp/2KJla2q « Oncology Nurse Advisor

Loved ones with health-care decision-making power often over-confident, http://j.mp/2KEYn7X « Reuters

The Role of Hope, Compassion, and Uncertainty in Physicians’ Reluctance to Initiate Palliative Care, http://j.mp/2KDRN1x « AMA Journal of Ethics

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 25 - December 1, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Updated: Grief Bibliography, http://j.mp/2BJk5VA « Grief Healing

Book Review: "What to Do When I'm Gone: A Mother's Wisdom to Her Daughter" by Suzy Hopkins and Hallie Bateman, http://j.mp/2KLN5yH « Seven Ponds Blog

When that Last Piece Dies by Brandy Lidbeck, http://j.mp/2KHfQwy « The Gift of Second