What Is Complicated Grief?

[Reviewed and updated January 6, 2020]

Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.
~Dr. Earl A. Grollman 

You may have heard of the controversy over including “complicated grief” in the latest issue of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatric Disorders (DSM-V), which is the most widely used psychiatric reference in the world. Mental health professionals and researchers worked diligently to agree upon specific criteria for identifying and assessing complicated grief – in order to get payment for treatment and funding for research, to identify those at risk, and to distinguish depression from complicated grief.

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 17 - April 23

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Anticipatory Grief and Resilience: sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy, http://bit.ly/i9er3i by @StoryForHealing

• Matt Logelin: Love, Loss and, Suddenly, Single Parenthood, http://huff.to/hoMudo

• Advice For Dating A Widower With A Pre-Schooler: Meet Matt Logelin's Girlfriend, http://bit.ly/fZ4HGZ

• Mother’s Day: Survival Techniques After the Death of a Child: free Webinar with Darcie Sims, http://bit.ly/hVCoZ8

• How prolonged illness affects the grieving process, http://bit.ly/hFPzdT via @Hospiceny

Caregiving and Hospice, April 17 - April 23

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Take 15 minutes to watch this inspiring video, as Mary Labyak receives NHPCO's Healthcare Architect Award, http://bit.ly/i4COHP

• Great video clips on how to have the talk and discuss goals of care at end of life, http://j.mp/efsSHr via RT @phylili

• Poignant article about the ongoing struggle to manage pain, http://tinyurl.com/446l8fg via @palliativecare 

• Help your patients stay connected: Recommend CaringBridge, http://bit.ly/eXwwWu

• Early palliative care to avoid unnecessary suffering, http://wapo.st/igyStX via @PracticalWisdom @DeathwDignity

Coping with Pet Loss, April 17 - April 23

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Great stories about hospice patients and pets, http://ow.ly/4Fc8j @PetPeaceofMind's blog

• Letting Go of Grief - Vet Wisdom® Café, http://bit.ly/i1uPzR

• Words can help you face grief and loss, and change your thinking too, http://ow.ly/4Dqvs by @VetWisdom

• Social worker partners with Humane Society to offer petloss counseling, http://bit.ly/i5yO1h

• Choosing hospice care for dogs, http://bit.ly/gKzqcI

Revival Redesign

Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.  ~ Joseph Campbell

Susan Reynolds is a physical therapist, certified interior redesigner and home stager who also specializes in space renewal for those who’ve experienced personal loss.  Her book, Room for Change: Practical Ideas for Reviving after Loss, combines interior redesign principles with those of grief recovery, providing practical tips on making small changes to the environment that will help a person "revive" after a loss.  Susan speaks from experience; finding herself newly widowed and an empty nester at the age of 49, she took her education and training in wellness and ergonomics and enrolled in a program to become certified in both interior redesign and staging. She now consults with hospices on how interior design can help clients feel comfortable and safe, and speaks at bereavement groups to teach her methods to people who have suffered loss.

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 10 - April 16

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• What Grief Is Really Like, http://nyti.ms/fTEgFR via @nytimeshealth

• National Students of AMF: grief support for college kids, http://bit.ly/fMbILL via@KitMcConnell

• Suffering: The Irritant That Produces the Pearl, http://bit.ly/hxE2hG

• "Thankful for......" The gift of grief, http://bit.ly/f8pjOZ by @DoyleDiana

• Prayer Registry Builds Hope and Community, http://fb.me/UVrMfNCO via @opentohope

Caregiving and Hospice, April 10 - April 16

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• In honor of National Health Decisions Day, check out all the posts on @Pallimed about advance care, http://hpm.md/hk4Tdw by @ctsinclair via @ewidera @NHDD

• Hospice of the Valley volunteer provides respite, keeps memories, http://goo.gl/W4ln7 via @CeCeTodd 

• Video: Tips for family meetings http://bit.ly/geNM6n by @graceful_aging via @ShelleyWebbRN 

• Helping hospice patients nationwide keep their pets, pay for pet food, vet and grooming costs, @petpeaceofmind 

• People don’t know all that hospice can do for them and how little it costs, http://bit.ly/gnGUK0 via @hospicepharmacy

Coping with Pet Loss, April 10 - April 16

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Falling in Love Again after Pet Loss, http://bit.ly/fixet3

• Dedication or denial of reality? Euthanasia or not? A Veterinarian's perspective, http://bit.ly/hbmtts

April 16 Is National Health Care Decisions Day

The National Healthcare Decisions Day (NHDD) Initiative is a collaborative effort of national, state and community organizations committed to ensuring that all adults with decision-making capacity in the United States have the information and opportunity to communicate and document their healthcare decisions.

To highlight the importance of advance healthcare decision-making, April 16 has been designated as National Healthcare Decisions Day (NHDD).

Celebrating National Volunteer Week, April 10 - April 16

In a previous post, Healing through the Gift of Volunteering, I noted that at some point in the course of your own grief journey you may find yourself thinking about becoming a hospice volunteer.  The agency with which I was affiliated for 17 years, Hospice of the Valley in Phoenix, AZ, was founded by volunteers, and to this day, volunteers at Hospice of the Valley are considered vital members of the team, supporting dying patients and their families and offering respite care.  As part of HOV's Bereavement Services, they assist staff members with office tasks, special projects, sending condolence cards and preparing bulk mailings.  Through periodic telephone calls over a 13-month period following the death, volunteers offer compassion, understanding and support, as well as referral to appropriate resources, to bereaved individuals whose family members were Hospice of the Valley patients.

Caregiving and Hospice, April 3 - April 9

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Caring for our aging parents http://bit.ly/hb1fPU 

• Plan ahead: Priests scarce for last rites, http://usat.ly/gZo0i3 via @Pallimed 

• Hospice program helps patients go beyond saying goodbye, http://j.mp/fg6qUt @NPR via @renee_berry @doctorgrimes

• 10 Signs a Senior Needs Assistance, http://bit.ly/hPxEw2 by @Caring

• There's a New Man in Mom's Life, http://ow.ly/4veUP by @silverplanet via @CPI_Training

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 3 - April 9

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Signs from the other side? Believe | theWiddahood.com http://bit.ly/eoLqD1

• Catherine Tidd on how the Widdahood came to be, http://bit.ly/i6UEmF 

• Heartwarming! Ladybug delivers after death communication, http://bit.ly/eFVxVv by @SidKorpi

• Men and grief: Real tough guys are those who can do the work, http://bit.ly/fZTe55 by @rickbelden

• Like Love, Grief Belongs to Poets and Mystics, http://bit.ly/g4zZ7T by @survivegrief

Coping with Pet Loss, April 3 - April 9

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• When pets outlive owners, 'retirement homes' offer refuge, http://bit.ly/gS5bIG

• Tears of men from a veterinarian's perspective, http://goo.gl/GdvGD by @DrMartyBecker

• Using Photography and Creativity to Ease Grief, http://bit.ly/fOHY8f by @sandyrakowitz via @NEPetHospice

• Elegant elegies: Grieving pet owners find solace in online tributes, http://bit.ly/gC6lFH

Hospice and Caregiving, March 27 - April 2

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Popular driver network offers freedom, independence to seniors, http://tinyurl.com/43ly28l via @ShelleyWebbRN

• Taking Care of Yourself So You Can Take Better Care of Others, http://www.caregiver.va.gov/Tips.asp via @phatkathy

• Use Pets As Caregiving Instructors, http://ow.ly/4qcQH via @kstookey @BoomerLivingNow

• Hospice is about living your life the way you want up to the very end, http://bit.ly/fWFStH via @hospicepharmacy

• Family-friendly caregiving articles, helpful videos, updated continuously; subscribe here: http://ow.ly/4qeGk by @CaregiverTweets

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 27 - April 2

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• It All Comes Down to Love, http://bit.ly/NEPHLove by @NEPetHospice via @georgiaslegacy

• Helpful and Unhelpful Ways to Grieve, http://p.ost.im/p/GysaD by @Tabitha_Jayne

• Grief Observed: Using Movies to Move through Grief, http://ow.ly/4rolr RT @Selfhealingexpr

• In Books on Grief: Academic Researcher and Journalist Are Tilting at Windmills, http://bit.ly/gobyNE by @survivegrief

• "Don’t Cry for Me, Daddy," http://wp.me/pVxlX-72 RT @GrievingDads

Coping with Pet Loss, March 27 - April 2

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Petloss: Grief Responses That May Surprise You, http://bit.ly/e8D83E by @themaggiebook

• What is Animal Hospice? See Saying Goodbye To Sparky One Year Later, http://is.gd/5B1J9o by @hospice4animals

• Don't Be Ashamed to Cry: Nice article on pet loss, http://bit.ly/hbha6L via @MarkJAsher

• Beautiful! How childhood pet loss led to a career in grief counseling, http://bit.ly/hZTkEE

• Do Pets Mourn? Of course! http://bit.ly/eIH8r8 by @finch93

• Learning to accept limitations from aging or disease, http://tinyurl.com/48j9rj6 via @PetEndofLife