Monday, December 9, 2019

Disenfranchised Grief: Another Bereaved Aunt Asks “Where Do I Fit In?”

Image by Paul C Lee from Pixabay 
Every society has conventions about grieving – rules that define for whom, how, for what, and for how long people should grieve. In our society the “who” is generally family: spouses, parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren and siblings have recognized rights to grief. The grief of others often is not considered.  ~ Kenneth J. Doka

A reader writes: Dear Marty, I have never before emailed a stranger about something so personal but I wanted to thank you for posting your article, Mourning A Sister's Only Child: "Where Do I Fit In?"

Three weeks ago I lost my nephew. He was 3.9 years old. He was very disabled and had been fighting for life and defying doctors since he was 5 days old. I held him the day he was born. I gave up the course I was studying at the time to help care for his big sister who was 2 at the time. Ever since he was born I was constantly on call in case something happened. Often I dropped everything and raced to London to help my brother and his wife out because my nephew had been rushed to hospital.

Sunday, December 8, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 1 - December 7, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Few readers may realize how heavy a toll is taken by suicide during the years of high school, college, and young adulthood. Suicide in the Young, « AfterTalk Weekly

Yes. I know. I have a funny thing about time. And dates. I take time to reflect on time and what time is, or might be. It's About Time « Soaring Spirits International

This is the third story in a four-part weekly series on meditation, including its benefits for pain management, mental health and overall well-being. How Meditation Can Ease the Path of Grieving, « NextAvenue

Monday, December 2, 2019

In Grief: Self-Care As A Way Of Paying Homage

Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.  ~ Christopher Germer

A reader writes: It's been nine months since my wife and best friend of 57 years died. I still have my bad days, but I am noticing now that the good days outnumber the bad days. I spend a lot of time on the computer going to grief sites and reading everything I can get my hands on about grief. I'm still hiding in my shell but at least I'm trying to get back to the real world. It's tough, but I will win this battle and my beloved will always be in my heart, never forgotten and never said goodbye to. I just wanted to say thank you for all your help and God bless you.

Sunday, December 1, 2019

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, November 24 - November 30, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

You probably know a child who is grieving, or an adult whose childhood was punctuated by grief. Read this. Six Reasons Why You Should Focus on a Grieving Child « Modern Loss

In our culture the holidays, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Christmas, emphasize family and friend togetherness. The absence of a friend or family member becomes more evident. Our sense of loss is more 'in our face' than other times of the year. How Can I Celebrate The Holidays When I Feel So Sad? « BK Books

The main thing we think of in mourning is the loss of the individual who’s died . . .  But there’s also a profound loss of SELF involved in mourning. i miss her, and i miss my self « Kay Bruner