If we know someone who has lost a loved one – and especially if they were not able to have a funeral or a memorial for that person as a result of COVID-19 – we need to reach out to them, let them know we are thinking about them, and be present for them during their pain and loss. Op-Ed: After Death, Grief Shared Is Grief Diminished « MedPage Today
Exploring the unknown requires tolerating uncertainty. ~ Brian Greene
A reader writes: I am going to go to my first grief group meeting tomorrow afternoon. I have to admit, I have never been to any kind of support group meeting like this before, and I'm feeing pretty uncertain about it. Any thoughts you'd be willing to share with me?
My response: I applaud your decision to participate in a support group. It takes great courage to acknowledge your need for the support of others, and I respect and admire you for taking this important step in your own healing. Remember too that you are not alone in feeling as you do ~ I'm sure you'll meet others in your group who are just as reluctant to be there as you are.
My suffering feels irrelevant at times; so many other people around the entire world are experiencing the same struggles, or even worse struggles than my own. With that being said, we need to acknowledge the sheer magnitude of what we’ve been through. A Grief Unobserved « The University News
[T]he emotional and psychological impacts of losing a limb are sometimes just as serious as the physical ones. The relationship between amputation, grief, and depression is very real and, often, very strong. Coping Strategies for New Amputees: Limb Loss and Grief « The National Law Review
A reader writes: I hope it's okay to ask you this question, I have no one else to ask. I am seeing a hospice bereavement counselor, my Mom passed away two months ago, I have seen this lady about 5 times at the most, anyway, I saw her this past Friday and I finally told her that I was fighting with suicidal thoughts, she really said nothing but "they are not equipped to deal with this."
Following a stroke, it’s normal for both survivors and those who love them to experience grief. A stroke may cause many losses, including the loss of career, mobility, independence, and confidence. Grief After Stroke « Psychology Today
These people, whom I affectionately refer to as “my coding friends,” may not know my name or where I live. But that doesn’t mean I’m not incredibly close with some of them. Dealing with Loss in An Online World « The Miami Student
On average, nine people are left in grief for every death. For those grieving the loss of loved ones, the impact of the 'grief pandemic' will long-outlast the virus. Why the 'grief pandemic' might outlast the worst of COVID-19 « CTV News
A reader writes: I was wondering if anyone around the 6th month maybe (because that's where I'm at now) remembers things more vividly. I had forgotten so many precious things and I don't know if it was the holidays or a point that I am at but everything comes to me so clearly. I dream more vividly, I look around my house and memories just flow in. In some ways I am glad to have these memories come to me, but they are also reminding me of how wonderful things were with him here and how I won't have that again.
Zoe’s death has rocked me because it is a marker. A reminder that time is the most relentless force in the universe: that no matter what we do, its thievery marches on. Love Persevering « No Mercy / No Malice
In my many years of moderating an online pet loss forum, far too often I have heard from pet parents whose precious cat or kitten has died after being trapped in a clothes washer or dryer. It happened AGAIN! Pet Loss: Curious Cats Get Killed in Clothes Dryers « Grief Healing
Our national sorrow needs to be recognized and expressed. Art can help us. The collective grief we must face « The Hill
Spearheading research that examines the death experience from the perspective of the patient, Dr. Kerr has uncovered previously unrecognized aspects of the dying process, including vivid dreams that feature the patient’s deceased loved ones. Hospice CEO Christopher Kerr Seeks New Understanding of the Dying Process « Hospice News
A good death is achieved by advocating for, and acting on, what is safest for the pet, what is most meaningful for the caregiver, and what will nourish the veterinary team. The “good death” revolution—Companion animal euthanasia in the modern age « Veterinary Practice News
With time and work, you can feel better—but that doesn’t necessarily happen in the “stages of grief.” How to Deal With Grief — 6 Tips to Cope With a Painful Loss « Prevention
A reader writes: I need help. I am an 87 yr old woman and last year, after a long illness and in and out of hospitals, home, and nursing home, my husband passed away before I could get there even though he asked for me and it was a mere 5 minute trip, he was gone before I got there.
A few days ago I sent my beloved cat to be euthanized. He was my companion for 10 years. I adopted him when he was 7; no one wanted a 7yr old cat and so he was scheduled to be euthanized until I adopted him. He was my good and beautiful friend and helped ease the pain of the loss of my husband. Several months ago he became ill. Our vet tried very hard to care for him but he was declining.
Covid-19 has taken more than 100,000 lives in the UK. Restrictions mean that no more than thirty people can go to a funeral. But a funeral is not supposed to be a small, intimate affair, in the way a wedding or baptism can be. Grief, Interrupted « LRB
For some, the tools they have been using to cope with unprecedented loss and stress are no longer working. Grief and loss of resilience are rising because of Covid-19. What You're Feeling Is Grief « Vox
Whether you’re managing someone who has experienced a loss, or grieving yourself, communication and empathy are key. 7 tips for dealing with grief in the workplace « Fast Company
Praise is warming and desirable. But it is an earned thing. It has to be deserved, like a hug from a child. ~ Phyllis McGinley
A reader writes: I joined your online discussion groups three months after my mother died. I always read the posts from others whose parents had died, but barely responded because there was so much said that I felt I could rarely come up with consolations that may have made an impact.
Toxic positivity is the concept that no matter how difficult a situation, people should maintain a positive outlook. But being positive isn't always the best way forward. It denies people’s emotions. It makes one feel ashamed, and it makes one pile on the guilt, feeling unable to move on. Toxic Positivity? Say It Ain't so! « Thrive Global
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell. ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay
A reader writes: How does one deal with the overwhelming grief at 14 months and 9 days....for me it is harder and more painful now. Am I crazy Marty? I have not dreamed of my husband since he went to Heaven, except a nightmare the night he died, that they lost him in the tunnels in the hospital. I can't feel him, no one will say his name and I am trying desperately to understand this all. Does it mean that since I cannot dream or feel him that I did something wrong? I feel that way. My doctor/therapist told me that the second year may be harder and she was so right, am I the only person that feels this way?
Two weeks ago, my cat unexpectedly passed away. Over the years, she’d become a real-deal dear friend, and in the midst of being isolated during the pandemic, my connection to her only grew stronger. 9 Tips for Grieving the Loss of a Pet During the Pandemic « Well+Good
You asked why your relationship to your hospice work was affected following the death of your dad. I think because every time you entered a patient's home and life it touched the scar in your heart from your father's death. It rubbed your grief wound. The Scar In Your Heart: Grief In End of Life Care « BK Books
After you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less about living and more about waiting. ~ Chuck Palahniuk
A reader writes: I have been reading your website and accompanying forums, and it is obvious to me that you are a remarkable bereavement counselor. I hope you don't mind my turning to you with this strange question.
I am 25 years old and still living with my parents, to whom I am extremely close. While I do have one other close friend, they are by far my best friends. Our lives are heavily intertwined. Recently it has 'hit me' (although I knew this rationally, of course) that they will inevitably die, most likely during my lifetime. Since that moment I have been obsessed with this thought.
During 63 years of marriage we were a couple and now it was just me, flying solo. What did I need to survive and thrive? Assembling My Grief Survival Kit: What's In Yours? « Open to Hope
Public misperception is a barrier between patients and palliative care. Based on the true story of a nurse practitioner’s experiences with patients and families facing serious and terminal illnesses, this film depicts the patient-centered interdisciplinary care that so many seriously ill patients need. Film ‘The Elephant in the Room’ Shines a Light on Palliative Care « Hospice News
She was such a sweetheart and gave me so much comfort.
Why processing the death of your mother is critical to your personal growth. How To Find Freedom From Grief « Essence
There are birth certificates and death certificates. But this one new piece of paper has helped families deal with their grief after the loss of a baby or child. How 'certificates of life' can help parents grieving the loss of a baby « ABC Everyday
Nothing relieves and ventilates the mind like a resolution. ~ John Burroughs
A reader writes: It has been 10 weeks now since my husband died, and I’m noticing that I cannot concentrate on things like I used to. I just daydream so much about him – good things and bad. Also my memory is not so good lately which surprises me. I just write down a to-do list for myself often so that my life won’t completely fall apart. I can’t seem to decide on what to do a lot of the time, and I change my mind so much that I don’t want to promise people anything.
In A Monster Calls, 13-year-old Conor dreams about a monster, but the words he's afraid to say about his dying mother are much scarier. Book Review by Cara Olexa « Seven Ponds
The lingering pandemic has amplified feelings of isolation, depression and anxiety for countless Pennsylvanians, particularly as family-oriented holidays approach. Coping with Loneliness, Grief During a Holiday Pandemic « Daily American
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