COVID-19 and The Fear of Dying

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

The future belongs to those who prepare for it today.  ~ Malcolm X

A reader writes: How do we get people talking about their fear of dying and how to live fully now and being prepared??? 

My response: I’m not sure which people you’re talking about, but given the current concern about COVID-19 and all the anxiety surrounding it, I certainly do appreciate your question, especially in these uncertain times. Fortunately the Internet offers a vast array of answers, and I hope I can point you to some resources you’ll find useful, regardless of the circumstances. Here are some I invite you to explore:

Caregiving, Grief & Pet Loss, March 22 - March 28, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Whether this virus took the life a friend or family member, took away your wedding, your support system, your job, your long-anticipated vacation, your liberty, or your sense of security, your losses are valid and deserving of your grief. So, how do we respond? What can we do? Global Grief of COVID-19, https://j.mp/2UN3qse « Grief Compass

The coronavirus pandemic highlights how much we need to have conversations about end-of-life care: It’s Time to Talk About Death, https://j.mp/39sMDQy « The New York Times

Pet Loss: Why Surrender An Animal To A Shelter?

To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.  ~Jack Kornfield

A reader writes: I have read that pet illness is one of the main reasons why owners decide to surrender their animal to a shelter. Can you provide any insight as to what it takes for an owner to get to that point? Are these owners less committed than other owners? Have fewer resources? One article recommended "defining your priorities and setting realistic goals". How can  a pet caretaker do this, in specific terms?

Caregiving, Grief & Pet Loss, March 15 - March 21, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Eight reasons why the death of an elderly loved one can be difficult. Grieving the Death of an Elderly Loved One, https://j.mp/396zsos « What's Your Grief?

What this statement ultimately implies, whether intended or not, is that we should worry less about the virus because it impacts old and not young. Please Stop Minimizing the Death of Older Adults, https://j.mp/2Ue469X « What's Your Grief?

Voices of Experience: Fear at the Door; Rest Inside

Source

There is no footprint too small to leave an imprint on this world.  ~ Unknown

American singer-songwriter Nathan Peterson has been creating music as Hello Industry for almost two decades. During his 20 years of writing, recording, and performing, Nathan has created a body of work encouraging us to rest, here and now, in the midst of the storms of life. He and his musician wife Heather are the parents of five children, one of whom was born with a genetic disorder and died at the age of 14 months. Inspired by the brief life and death of their beloved infant daughter Olivia, Nathan's words and voice invite us inward, toward our own Center, where our fear is the loudest; where our strength and hope are their brightest:

Caregiving & Grief, March 8 - March 14, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

When you are grieving, your mental and emotional bandwidth are already strained. Adding external stress and instability can be even harder to cope with than it would be otherwise. Taking Care of Your Mental Health During Coronavirus, https://j.mp/2IPNGPz « What's Your Grief?

Miscarriage can be a painful experience with long-lasting effects on women’s emotional, mental, and physical health. How can they move toward healing?Emotional Healing After a Miscarriage: A Guide for Women, Partners, Family, and Friends, https://j.mp/3cUEKXa « Nursing@Georgetown

In Grief: Can This Relationship Survive?

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.  ~ Rabindranath Tagore

A reader writes: I am not sure if you can help me or not but I want to let you try. I was in a very good relationship with a person until she received news that her mother was terminal. In a matter of a weekend she completely turned on me and wanted me out of her life. This is after 2 years of an almost perfect and very loving relationship. I was told that this is how some people grieve is to take the person closest to them and drive them away. It has left me completely devastated at this point. Do you know anything about this type of grieving and what I can expect from the future? She will not go to counceling since in her eyes nothing is wrong. I won't go into a lot of details unless you feel you can possibly understand why this happened and tell me a little more about what to expect. Thank you for your time.

Caregiving & Grief, March 1 - March 7, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Connecting grieving young adults to other young adults who "get it" - The AMF App Is Here, https://j.mp/2TIgcrw «  HealGrief.org

I'm sorry to say when a family member is dying it can bring us together and be our finest hour as a family or it can bring out the worst in us and create resentments that last a very long time. MOM IS DYING and There's So Much Blame, https://j.mp/2PPA1fr « BK Books

Does Information on The First Year of Grief Still Apply in The Second Year?

Sometimes too late is just in time.  ~ C.J. Carlyon

A reader writes: I wrote to you a while ago about the loss of my dad in an accident and issues regarding my brother who was unable to save him. I am so grateful for your detailed suggestions and I have taken your advice and have seen positive results with the conversations that have evolved with my brother. I look at the Grief Healing Discussion Groups forum daily and even have my mom reading the posts. They help us both. Sometimes, I would like to write something myself but since my mom reads them, I am afraid that she would know it was me and it would make her feel worse if she knew of all the junk going on in my head.

Caregiving, Grief, & Pet Loss - February 23 - February 29, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Many patients who request medical aid in dying (MAID) are already in hospice, but there is controversy as to whether a hospice should integrate this option into their care model. Should Medical Aid in Dying Be Part of Hospice Care? https://j.mp/2wWosN0 « Medscape

There are some compelling reasons for healthily connecting with your grief when you feel disconnected. 4 Ways to Get In Touch With Your Grief, https://j.mp/3cbvFcd « What's Your Grief?

ZDoggMD watches and reacts to a CBS profile on the giant EHR company. An Epic Systems Fluff Piece, Deconstructed, https://j.mp/3aat28v « MedPage Today