Pet Loss: When Guilt Overshadows Grief

Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you.  ~ Veronica Roth

A reader writes: My sister told me about you and your wonderful dedication to helping those suffering the loss of a furry companion. I thank you for your dedication and compassion that we can find in very few people with whom we come in contact on a day-to-day basis.  The guilt that I suffer right now, along with an intense sense of loss and sorrow, is not related to euthanasia or questions like, "Why am I feeling this way?"

Caregiving, Grief & Pet Loss Tweets, August 11 - August 17, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Unmentionables [in Grief], by Ken Doka, https://j.mp/2Ze3g1i « Journeys

5 Benefits of Grief Journaling, https://j.mp/2Zcim7A « What's Your Grief?

The questions surgeons need to ask their seniors before surgery, https://j.mp/2Z5pYsE « Kevin MD

Voices of Experience: A Physician's Personal Lessons From Loss

Image by truthseeker08 from Pixabay

By Dr. Caroline Macari, with Foreword and Afterword by Una Harrington

Originally published as Grief in the ED - Personal Lessons from Loss, Dr. Macari's story first appeared on the WRaP EM blog and is reprinted here with permission.

Foreword: In early 2019, I travelled to Sydney to take part in the NSW ED Wellbeing day. While I was there, I heard this honest and poignant story from Dr. Caroline Macari. The effect this story had on those in the room was palpable. There was such power in her message that I asked if she would publish her story. She kindly agreed and has written her story down here for WRaP EM.

Caregiving & Grief Tweets, August 4 - August 10, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

"One Lone Tear", Dementia at End of Life, https://j.mp/2ZUkcqE « BK Books

How to deal with grief, pain and anxiety after the mass shootings,  https://j.mp/2YRtczG « Today

In Grief: Mourning The Murder of An Abusive Father, https://j.mp/2Zzh7MK « Grief Healing

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In Grief: Mourning The Murder of An Abusive Father

Image by Mystic Art Design from Pixabay

A girl’s first true love is her father.  ~ Marisol Santiago

A reader writes: My eccentric father was murdered in January. I can't deny that he was an angry, abusive person, but I also knew he loved me. I learned to draw boundaries with him and we developed a deep connection in the past few years as I helped care for him. My family is worried/angry because they don't think I should be so "upset" by his murder. Of course, I understand what they mean, but I was closer to him than they were and I was able to forgive him, mostly. At least I was able to forgive him enough that I could see the wonderful, amazing things about him, too. And anyway, I can't help or deny how I feel! So I am trying to keep this part of myself hidden from my mom and siblings, mostly to spare myself the annoyance caused by their well-meaning interventions.

Grief & Caregiving Tweets, July 28 - August 3, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Alone, together: the comfort of a pet when you’re grieving, https://bit.ly/2LXxzDn « Sue Ryder

How To Help Children Handle Grief After The Death Of A Parent, https://j.mp/2LZhUU2 « HuffPost Life

‘Like Being in an Ocean’: The Many Stages of Grief, https://j.mp/330tSlK « Web MD

In Grief: No Sense of "Collective Closure" After Dad's Death

Image by Ian Lindsay from Pixabay

When words are inadequate, have a ritual.  ~ Author Unknown

A reader writes: As soon as they learned that my father had died, the most beautiful flowers and lovely cards from friends and relatives around the country began to arrive at my door. Knowing that so many people are there for me and that all of them care means so much to me.

Still, all of this is so very, very odd-feeling, and I hope you can help me to understand why. My step-mother arbitrarily decided that, in her opinion, my father didn't know enough people in their town to make having a funeral or memorial service for him there "worth the effort." She had his body cremated virtually instantly, and she says we'll probably scatter his ashes over Long Island Sound sometime this summer.

Pet Loss, Grief & Caregiving Tweets, July 21 - July 27, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Why the Death of a Pet Can Feel Worse than Losing a Human Loved One, http://j.mp/32RPEIl « PEOPLE.com

Kate Bowler: How to Speak to Someone Who's Suffering « The Atlantic http://j.mp/2K6nlNE

WWRMD - What Would Rhoda Morgenstern Do? http://j.mp/2K4EJCm « Thrive Global

Pet Loss: Sibling's Insensitivity Causes Family Discord

Medicine to produce health must examine disease; and music, to create harmony must investigate discord.  ~ Plutarch

A reader writes: Two years ago my husband of 50 years died in his sleep, suddenly and unexpectedly. We have three grown children who live near our home, and for that, I am truly blessed. Our eldest son is single, our daughter is a single parent with a 16 year old son, and our younger son is married with two boys, ages 5 and 2. Both my husband and I were brought up in homes that never had pets and nobody ever asked for one. We raised our three children in homes with no pets and nobody ever asked to have a pet. So we do not know pet protocol and, of course, we’ve never experienced the death of a pet. 

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 14- July 20, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief-Sensitive School Initiative, http://j.mp/2O4OIN7 « New York Life Insurance Company

6 Ways to Support a Grieving Teen, http://j.mp/32yWsKu « Modern Loss

Traveling with Grief, http://j.mp/2O2iNwO « The Artful Caregiver