Helping Elderly Parents with Pet Loss

Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really.  ~ Agnes Sligh Turnbull

A reader writes: I was referred to your site in my search for grief counseling on the loss of a pet. I am an avid dog lover and was raised in a house with two parents who taught me the quality of being an animal lover. My question is if you might be able to offer some tips for dealing with my parents who recently and suddenly lost their pet dog. They are in their eighties and the dog was a big focus of their lives. Neither one of them is active outside of the home. My mom seems to be able to verbalize her emotions, but my dad is very upset, has stopped eating somewhat and does not want to see any company at all. Any advice as to what I can say?

Caregiving, Hospice, & Grief, January 12 - January 18, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Our stories often don't turn out the way we thought they would as we were writing them. If we can let go of the story we expected, sometimes we can find treasure in the story we have. Sometimes you get what you need. https://j.mp/2TAYTdo « Heart Callings

A cousin named her daughter after my mom before I could. Losing My 'Naming Rights', https://j.mp/2RqdS7g « Modern Loss

It's healthy and healing for someone to write about their own grief experience. But when they start "teaching" that these experiences are typical and apply to everyone across the board, they're crossing a dangerous line. Bad Bereavement Advice: When Trying to Help Doesn’t Help, https://j.mp/2QTkNaj « Afterlife Conference

Voices of Experience: These Words

These Words (Shelly Album)

For a songwriter, you don’t really go to songwriting school; you learn by listening to tunes. And you try to understand them and take them apart and see what they’re made of, and wonder if you can make one, too. ~ Tom Waits

Greg Walker is a musician and a writer who met his friend Shelly on Twitter: a poet who happens to have muscular dystrophy. They became fast friends and together were able to make an album of songs. By sharing below the story behind the songs, along with a link to the album, Greg hopes to encourage creativity, honesty, friendship, and the power of story telling in those who might read and listen. It also gives Greg and his friend Shelly the opportunity to touch hearts and souls of readers and listeners with their work.

Hospice & Understanding and Managing Grief, January 5 - January 11, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

One day you will lose someone you love and find yourself walking in The Land of Dark Shadows and Deep Sorrow. Then you will know the truth of grief. May you not regret how you have treated others.Wake Up! Grief Needs Something From Your Heart, https://j.mp/2R8vHb6 « Rebelle Society

The death of a loved one isn’t just one single earth-shattering loss. In reality, it’s a tremendous loss, followed by a lot of smaller losses in its aftermath. A Deep Dive Into Secondary Loss, https://j.mp/35AicWJ « What's Your Grief?

In many religious traditions, God is believed to be responsive to the needs of believers, and in difficult times, the faithful turn to God for comfort and guidance. When Religion Makes Grief More Difficult, https://j.mp/2QWeAsU « Thrive Global

In Grief: New Mom Missing Deceased Spouse

Image by tung256 from Pixabay 

A baby is God’s opinion that life should go on.  ~ Carl Sandburg

A reader writes: I was 32 weeks pregnant with our first child when I lost my husband to cancer three months ago. I am 24 years old and Brad was 36. He was undergoing a bone marrow transplant and his outlook was very good, but something went horribly wrong and he died so quickly. 

Caregiving & Understanding and Managing Grief, December 29 - January 4, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Our current system treats medicine as a commodity, not as an essential service. Is health care just legal human trafficking? https://j.mp/2FgV9Wl « Kevin MD

In a few days, it will be the 8th time I have welcomed a new year that Drew will not be alive to share in. Orbiting Closer https://j.mp/35eGRQG « Soaring Spirits International

The first New Year’s after a loved one dies, the future looks like a rocky coast. New Year of Grief, https://j.mp/35fVgMn « Widower's Grief

Keeping the Secret of A Terminal Prognosis: Afterword

Sharing tales of those we've lost is how we keep from really losing them.  ~ Mitch Albom

A reader writes: As the daughter of the woman whose letter appears in your post Keeping the Secret of A Terminal Prognosis, I wanted you to know that just four months after she wrote those words to you, my beautiful mother died in her sleep of heart failure. My father woke up in the morning and found her gone.
She left us all letters, and in mine she left a link to your online forum, along with her log in and password. She wanted us to read all that she had written.

I want to let you and your readers know what she was like.

Understanding and Managing Grief and Pet Loss, December 22 - December 28, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

I found the one piece of her that didn’t get scattered. And I could have never guessed what it would be. My Bizarre Childhood Wish Showed Up in My Mom’s Cremains, https://j.mp/2MzCDMT « Modern Loss

Helpful, current, reliable, and updated today : Coping with The Holidays: Suggested Resources 2019, https://bit.ly/2QIL4Zl « Grief Healing

Our problem is that my husband and I are rather amazed at how we are grieving over this loss. Pet Loss: Amazed At How We Are Grieving, https://j.mp/2SqDROp « Grief Healing

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Pet Loss: Amazed At How We Are Grieving

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay 

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.  ~ Albert Schweitzer

A reader writes: Just wanted you to know that your site offered a lot of insight into the grieving process when one loses a pet. My husband and I are in our 50's, with no children, but four cats and a dog. We recently lost our 10-year-old cat, very suddenly, to an unknown condition (perhaps a tumor) but somehow related to diabetes. She was in Intensive Care at a University Vet Hospital for two days but only went downhill to the point where the vets indicated that her prognosis was poor and that she would probably never recover. At this point we chose to euthanize her because she was in such pain and had labored breathing.

Our problem is that my husband and I are rather amazed at how we are grieving over this loss.

Hospice & Understanding and Managing Grief, December 15 - December 21, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

As the days get shorter and the holidays loom, everyone who is coping with loss looks forward to these days with dread and wonders how we'll ever find the strength to get through them. It may help to know that many helpful and informative articles have been written on this very topic, and as you will see at the base of this post, I've assembled a list of links to many of them. Coping with The Holidays: Suggested Resources 2019, https://bit.ly/2QIL4Zl « Grief Healing

The new free all-in-one “Coping with Grief” mobile app was designed and developed by a team of volunteers from the non-profit My Grief Angels. New Free "Coping with Grief" App With Latest Tech For Dealing with Death & Loss During The Holidays, https://j.mp/2EEhbSI « PRUnderground

By law, every hospice program out there must offer the same basic services, but what about areas in which hospice services differ? How can you be sure you’re choosing the best program? To help you figure that out, use the following questions and concepts as you explore different hospice resources. How to Choose a Hospice Provider, https://j.mp/2sPdlTO « Solistic Hospice