Helping A Friend with Child Loss

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.  ~ Walter Winchell

A reader writes: My dear, dear friend and her husband recently lost her two young children in a horrific accident. I so wish I could take some of her pain away. But, I just don't know how to help her. I try to spend time with her and her husband, just listening and holding her, but I feel as if there's nothing I can do for her. I mean, it's not like it makes her feel better, my being there. Her loss is just too big. Can you please advise me on how to help her???

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 28 - July 4, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

If you can’t mourn the death of a loved one the way you want to right now, these grief counselors still have tips for getting through it. How to Cope With Grief During the COVID-19 Pandemic « Allure

Surviving A Parent’s Death by Suicide

We cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book in the fire.  ~ George Sand

A reader writes: My dad died by suicide early yesterday morning. He was pained not only with losing my mom, but with so many other losses in our family too. I don’t know if anger is supposed to be the first feeling but I’m angry. Since my wife's miscarriages and our struggles with infertility, we've had to cope with our losses too, and we're seeing a counselor for that together. I don’t know. I just don’t know what to make of this. I’m just trying to wrap my head around it. I can’t escape what I witnessed. I can’t believe this has happened. I can’t believe I found my dad like I did. I will never forget that image.

In Grief: Loving My Baby While Mourning My Son

There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.  ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower 

A reader writes: My son, who I raised as a single mom for 17 1/2 years was killed in a totally avoidable car accident last January. This boy was the reason for my life--my rock-- I had to get it together for him--and keep it going for all the years of his life. Although I have a 6-month-old daughter (my son was killed when she was 2 months old) I am having an adjustment problem--as life without my son, my best friend, my heart--is hard to buy into.

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 14 - June 20, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

After my husband died, an old friend asked me what he could offer me, beyond words. I thought of something that our young sons could treasure. ‘Your Papa Is Right Here’ « Modern Loss

Consider this resource if you are having a grief crisis. We’re here for you 24/7. Crisis Text Line « Crisis Text Line

In Grief: Seeking Help for Father Loss

There is no expiration date on the love between a father and his child.  ~ Jennifer Williamson

A reader writes: I recently lost my father and I am unable to handle my loss. I don't know why, but I want to dig him up and bring him back to life. I am so sad and lonely without my father and I have never experienced anything like this before. I don't know if this is a normal reaction or not but I do know that I need help. I do have people around me who love me and are there for me, but it just isn't enough. Can you please write me back with any advice as soon as possible.

Caregiving & Understanding and Managing Grief, June 7 - June 13, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A program designed to incorporate hospice and palliative care principles into undergraduate and graduate nursing education could help make a difference in ongoing staffing shortages in those fields. Palliative Care Nursing Curriculum Could Impact Staff Shortages « Hospice News

In Grief: Missing Grandmother’s Funeral

A reader writes: I have been abroad for nearly two years now and just learned that the only grandparent that I have has a stage 4 cancer. Since two or three weeks she has been having hallucinations and seeing dead family members of hers coming to get her on a white horse. I know that I won't be able to make it back home for her approaching funeral and I am really not at ease with this idea. What are the tips to deal with this? Thank you in advance for the counselling.

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 31 - June 6, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Experts discuss honoring loved ones lost to COVID-19 and the disproportionate impact the pandemic has had on communities of color. Thrive With Your Family: Coping With Loss and Grief « The University of Michigan

Disenfranchised Grief: In The Wake of Girlfriend's Abortion

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.  ~ Kahlil Gibran

A reader writes: My girlfriend and I got pregnant about two months ago. She went and took the abortion pill yesterday.I begged her not to, to marry me and have this child. But she said no. She doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore. I am grieiving not only the loss of our possible child together, but the loss of our possible life together. I'm not even sure where to begin, but I still can't believe that she actually went through with it.