Mixing Grief, Medication, and Alcohol: A Dangerous Combination

Heavy use of drugs or alcohol can intensify the experience of grief and depression and impair the bereavement process. ~ J. William Worden

A reader writes: I wonder if I might turn out to become one of those complicated grief people. I have all the risk factors. I'm not usually a drinker or a drug taker -- I've been regularly using alcohol and Serax (oxazepam) since my husband died. The same thing happened after we got his diagnosis a year ago, but when we received some positive news that they might be able to beat the cancer or at least control it - I was able to cut out the oxazepam and reduce drinking to a glass of wine a day. Then he suddenly died - and we were completely unprepared. Even the doctors were surprised.

Addiction and Substance Abuse in Grief: Suggested Resources

Remember that just because you hit bottom doesn’t mean you have to stay there.  ~ Robert Downey Jr.

Losing a loved one is one of the most painful experiences a person can endure. Grief can feel overwhelming, unpredictable, and deeply isolating. In an attempt to manage the emotional turmoil, some individuals turn to drugs or alcohol as a way to numb the pain, escape reality, or temporarily quiet their thoughts. While substances may provide short-term relief, they often complicate the healing process, leading to dependency, increased emotional distress, and even long-term mental and physical health consequences. Understanding why people use drugs or alcohol to cope with grief, the risks involved, and healthier alternatives for navigating loss is essential in finding a path toward true healing.

In Grief: Widowed Mom's Drinking Alienates Family

Compassion for our parents is the true sign of maturity. ~ Anaïs Nin

A reader writes: My father passed away last July. My mother and he had a terrible marriage and only stayed together for the "kids," then couldn't afford to live apart. He passed away after a brief illness, but had made my mother's life very difficult. For the last 20 years, they just cohabited together with seperate lives - different bedrooms and even different tv rooms.

I did not have a good relationship with him (nor did my brother) - he was mean, selfish and just not a very nice person to us or anyone else. Nonetheless, I did and still do grieve for him. I also grieved for the father I never had, but I did forgive him before he passed away and was present when he died.

In Grief: Worried About Widowed Mother

Find an updated version of this post here: 

In Grief: Widowed Mom's Drinking Alienates Family 

My father passed away last July. My mother and he had a terrible marriage and only stayed together for the "kids," then couldn't afford to live apart. He passed away after a brief illness, but had made my mother's life very difficult. For the last 20 years, they just cohabited together with seperate lives - different bedrooms and even different tv rooms.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 6 - December 12, 2020

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

There is a misconception that grief is just sadness (maybe with some anger thrown in). The reality? Grief feels like so many things. Grief feelings can change from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. And they are ALL NORMAL. What Does Grief Feel Like? « What's Your Grief? 

It is only natural that you want to protect your children from being upset at all costs, but it is not necessarily a bad thing that they are introduced to the concept of loss at a relatively early age. After all, death is – sadly – the one inevitability of life, and we all have to come to terms with it at some point. Should you take children to a funeral? « AK Lander

In Grief: Mixing Drugs with Alcohol

[Reviewed and updated April 29, 2024]

Heavy use of drugs or alcohol can intensify the experience of grief and depression and impair the bereavement process.  ~ J. William Worden

A reader writes: I wonder if I might turn out to become one of those complicated grief people. I have all the risk factors. I'm not usually a drinker or a drug taker -- I've been regularly using alcohol and Serax (oxazepam) since my husband died. The same thing happened after we got his diagnosis a year ago, but when we received some positive news that they might be able to beat the cancer or at least control it - I was able to cut out the oxazepam and reduce drinking to a glass of wine a day. Then he suddenly died - and we were completely unprepared. Even the doctors were surprised.

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 19 - March 25, 2017

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What Losing Your Mother Feels Like, http://j.mp/1xOAP1Q « The Huffington Post

Stress in Grief, http://bit.ly/2mZwD0V « What's Your Grief?

Dating After Loss of a Spouse, http://bit.ly/2mSLny9 « Grief in Common

Caregiving and Hospice, January 31 - February 6, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: 

Lessons learned when a doctor's wife is hospitalized, http://j.mp/1nRRPq7 « The Washington Post

Advice to the Presidential Candidates on End-of-Life Care Issues, http://j.mp/1nQT88M « Pallimed

How Assumptions About Dying Can Negatively Affect Patient Care, http://j.mp/1KmNjcQ « Pallimed